The Big One
by Stephen Stryker
Summary: Just when the year is off to a quiet start, things start going wrong. Strange, dark days are coming. Can the Titans see through the clues to learn the real threat to the world? And will they survive unscathed? Rated M for a few suggestive scenes and occasional foul language.
1. Chapter 0: The Trailer

A preview of things to come. Soon, very, very soon.

_**(A screen flickers to life. In the center is a large, bold, pale blue T on a round, ringed shield of deeper blue. Music plays, building tension)**_

"Titans, _GO!_"

_**It has been several months since Robin, leader of the Teen Titans, spoke those words. With the defeat of Brushogun last year, most of the world's supervillains have been incarcerated, or otherwise beaten into submission. But peace is tenuous at best, and before they know it, their world will once again be thrown into utter chaos.**_

There came the sound of a crash from the big screen. Moaning in dismay, they saw their vehicles in smoking ruin as GAME OVER in huge letters flashed over the scene. "Cyborg," Beast Boy whined, "why didn't you pause it!"

"Why didn't you?" he shot back.

"Because I was more worried about the end of my stomach as I know it," he grumbled. "And I was gonna win this one!"

"The heck you _were!_" Cyborg declared, thrusting his finger in the other's face, and with that, The Bickerfest was on, their argument growing louder, more childish, and more heated with each passing moment.

They flinched away as Raven closed her book with a crack like a pistol shot and gave an angry outcry. "_EeeEENOUGH!_ Gahh... who can read with you two going at it like two year olds!" She hopped over the couch and stormed off, the book in one hand, grumbling.

"Dang," Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg, "we usually get at least five minutes of fun before she blows." His friend could only nod in agreement.

_**Well... that wasn't exactly the chaos I had in mind-**_

Beast Boy began fanning his arms around wildly in front of her bedroom door. "Oh! Hey! Yeah! Uh, Raven's... gonna powder her nose. For a few hours."

"What the heck does _that_ mean?" Cyborg exclaimed. Starfire nodded, wondering how nose powder helped make her feel better. The boy's antics caused something to spring to mind, and he added, "Or, did you pull a skunky on the poor girl?"

"No, I didn't pull a skunkie!" he growled at them irritably.

"Barking spider?" he added with a grin.

"_NO!_"

_**Now listen, I mean serious, **_**peace threatening**_** chaos-**_

Robin watched the dark mystic wander off down the hallway, musing aloud, "I wonder if it's that time of the month-"

*_RECORD SCRATCH_*

He realized that instant that he had made a mortal blunder as Raven froze in mid-step, arching her back like a panther that had its tail stepped on, and whirled around to threaten the Boy Wonder with utter doom, standing inches away from him. It seemed that she had grown to monstrous size, her teeth dagger-like fangs, her eyes yellow orbs of flame. He leaned back precariously, somehow managing to keep his feet planted as she snarled at him with deadly menace. "If you ever... _ever_ mention that subject in connection with me again... so help me, _I will chew your head off!_ And you know _damn well_ that I can!"

He could only gape at her, frozen in horror, unable to do more than twitch as the outraged wraith fixed him in that dreadful stare like the Angel of Death. The others came to his rescue, prying his ice-stiff body from the floor and backpedalling with silly grins. "We'll just get Robin out of your hair for you," Cyborg said, beaming cheerfully.

"You have a nice-" began Starfire as Beast Boy slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Rotten-" the changeling started to say, as Cyborg muzzled him.

"Whatever kinda day you want," he finished, then raised the board-stiff body of his friend overhead, beating a hasty retreat down the corridor.

_**(sigh) Teenagers... I. Said. CHAOS! -Ahh, that's more like it.**_

"Oh, look! It's the _Tween_ Titans!"

The heroes gaped at the trio facing them in disbelief; Jinx, Gizmo and Mammoth. Cyborg spoke up first. "Aw, come on... you three again? This is like a bad filler rerun."

"Oh, really?" Gizmo retorted with a leer as he hovered. "Did you butt-whiskers come ready to _tango_, or just spit out lame cliches and watch?"

"_What_ did you call us?" Beast Boy snarled.

"Oh yeah! I forgot your _amoeba brain_ can't handle big words with _three_ syllables!" He rotated around, wiggling his rear at them. "_A - S - S_-"

He gave a yelp as Raven sent a crate into the young villain, smashing him from the air. "Can we _please_ drop the typical childish banter and just get straight to the fighting-?"

She cried out as Mammoth threw a crate into her as well, then cracked his knuckles. "Works for me."

_**And now, the fun begins in earnest...**_

_**(Music plays: "Burn" by The Cure)**_

_"Don't look don't look," the shadows breathe_  
><em>Whispering me away from you<em>  
><em>"Don't wake at night to watch her sleep<em>  
><em>You know that you will always lose<em>  
><em>This trembling, adored,<em>  
><em>Tousled bird mad girl... "<em>

Starfire was standing apart from everyone, her hands clasped, her eyes downcast, as miserable as they had ever seen her. Robin came to stand in front of her, asking quietly as he reached for her hand, "Hey, Starfire... what's wrong?" He grew more concerned as tears welled up in her jewel-like eyes, and the next thing he knew, she had fallen into his arms, limp and weeping bitterly. "Hey, Star..." he murmured, stroking her back softly, really worried now. "What's the matter?"

He cupped her cheek in his hand, urging her to look into his face. "I... _am responsible_," she sobbed. "I caused all these terrible things to happen! _Oh, Robin-!_"

As he cradled the forlorn girl, Raven looked aside with a sigh. "Starfire... don't let it get to you. Things happen. You should be thankful you don't have to bear the burdens which eat me alive every day."

She looked up as Starfire reached for her hand, wiping her face of its tears and mucus with the other, offering her a thin, melancholy, but grateful smile. "You always have words of such great wisdom to offer. But Raven... so that you do not suffer with them alone, your burdens should be shared with others."

The mystic looked to the sky, wishing it could be so, but murmured dejectedly, "No... not _all_ of them..."

* * *

><p><em>But every night I burn<em>  
><em>But every night I call your name<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Every night I fall again<em>

Raven's body stiffened as something came from behind... some _one_. A _certain_ someone. He whispered in a British accent with a sultry husk in her ear, "Are you waiting for me, dark angel?" She couldn't react, could scarcely move or breathe, as he touched himself against her, pressing himself into her back and her bottom, sliding his leg along hers, slipping his arms around her to wrap her up tight.

She shifted slightly to feel him more, aching to comply with his desires, his whims, his demands, whatever he wanted of her. He slid around to her front, pushing her against the wall as he laced his fingers with hers, stretching her arms over her head, and something inside warned her to resist. But something else told her not to as his lips closed on hers, and he took them in a torrid, burning kiss, hungry to drink her in completely. She opened her mouth in welcome...

And then the whole world was shattered in deafening hate.

* * *

><p>Robert and the bass player began throwing themselves into each other in a way that made Raven feel moist and full of desire, but also terrified. They were out of their minds, sparring for advantage as they slammed their bodies against each other. As she watched in fear and wonder, Robert toppled him, stomping his boot on the man's chest in victory, leering at him as his fingers scraped madly at his guitar strings, his playing growing ever louder and more demented. She gasped in horror as he threw himself several feet in the air, intending to smash the vanquished foe to a bloody pulp with his instrument of hard, deadly wood. "Robert, for god's sake <em>NO!<em>" she screamed in alarm.

* * *

><p>They all looked to the wounded dam as a dreadful, deep cracking jarred them in the marrow of their bones. "Oh <em>no!<em>" Raven gasped, flying up to the splintered walls restraining millions of tons of water, but perhaps losing the battle. She cried her mantra, mustering up all of her essence she could, "Azarath, Metrion, _ZYNTHOS!_" The blackness covered the face of the dam, but still that terrible crack of breaking concrete rang out into the entire mountainface. It soon became clear that Raven was struggling against titanic forces which dwarfed her powers, as the rock face concealed by her dark forces was slivered with ever more fractures. She groaned, "I can't... _hold it..._"

* * *

><p>Cyborg cried out as his cybernetic gear began to crackle with the energies produced in his power cores. He couldn't endure the terrible voltage arcing from him to the ground, unable to focus on undoing the seals on his chestplate, and fell on his back, groaning, "Get... <em>out of here...!<em>"

"Cyborg!" Robin shouted, sprinting over to his friend's side, but was thrown back by a bolt of electricity. He jumped back up, though his whole body was numb and tingling from the jolt. "Power down!"

"Can't_..._" the cybernaut managed to groan out. "Gonna... _blow...!_"

"No!" Robin exclaimed, producing his metal staff, but the energy surged into it that instant, searing into his arm. He forced himself into the hellish storm of energy, driving himself on to thrust the pole into his friend's chestplate, trying desperately to force it open. But it wouldn't budge. A dreadful rasping hum began to build in intensity, and with it, the terrible burning, arcing discharge of those power cores. He screamed into the sky, afraid they were both done for, but he couldn't let go of that metal rod that burned into his hands. Couldn't leave his friend to die alone. "_CYBORG!_"

* * *

><p><em>"Oh don't talk of love," the shadows purr<em>  
><em>Murmuring me away from you<em>  
><em>"Don't talk of worlds that never were<em>  
><em>The end is all that's ever true<em>  
><em>There's nothing you can ever say<em>  
><em>Nothing you can ever do... "<em>

Raven's voice died in her throat at the sight of her friends lying before her, their bodies twisted like broken dolls, as if hurled to the floor by a malevolent Puppet Master who had his fill of torturing them. The meditation CD continued to play its sickly-sweet tones over the scene, dreadfully out of place in this tragedy. "Ohmygod... _Starfire!_" she gasped, practically falling to the woman's side, but there was no response. Her skin was clammy and cool, her arms limp... _lifeless_. Half-sobbing, she croaked out Robin's name as she sank beside him, but he was as fargone as the others. She feared she was going to scream, but as she touched his throat, she found a faint pulse, and with it, a thin strand of hope. Their chests were all rising and falling, if faintly. '_Alive... all alive, oh, thank heaven!_'

She snarled bitterly, smashing her fist into the stereo's power button, then jumped to her feet. "Me and my damned bright ideas - _AZARATH METRION ZYNtho-!_"

Blackness rushed out from her soul, beginning to seal the room off from the rest of reality, but she stopped herself just in time. She almost missed it, but there in the midst of the yet unclosed circle of darkness were four thin silver threads. Tenuous, vulnerable threads of life, binding their spirits to their bodies, the one thing keeping her friends alive. And she had almost severed them.

She dropped to the floor as the darkness she had invoked slowly drew back into her, quivering in horror from what she had nearly done. The realization ached in her stomach like venom. "My god," she gasped through a strained throat as she hugged herself, squeezing her eyes shut. "I... _almost killed my friends_..."

* * *

><p><em>Still every night I burn<em>  
><em>Every night I scream your name<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Every night the dream's the same<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Waiting for my only friend<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Waiting for the world to end<em>

They all gaped in shock at the display, as crimes began blinking up like kernels of popcorn. Cyborg began rattling off incidents. "Robberies, muggings, vandalism... _lots_ of vandalism, riots, stabbings, shootings... it's everything, happening _everywhere!_"

"This is insane!" Robin shouted in dismay. "It's like everything is coming unglued. Has the whole world lost all control?"

"At least the southwest of the country, anyhow - _uh oh_." Cyborg noticed an icon popping up, and with it, a call to the Tower. "_Guys, this is Beast Boy!_"

"I don't suppose you noticed, but there's one heck of a situation out here!" he cried, hiding behind a car as the streets erupted with violence. "I could really use some backup!"

"Looks like he's in the thick of it!" Cyborg pointed out, as the indicator was in the midst of a red mass spreading across the city map.

"Hold on as best you can!" Robin ordered. "Fight smart, and leave a channel open so we can find you. We'll be there as soon as we can." He added worriedly, "Be careful."

"Oh, you know me! Mister Safety!" he chuckled halfheartedly, then pocketed his communicator, ducking as a brick glanced off the window of the car. As it clattered to the sidewalk, he whined, "Oh man, this is like a freakin' war zone! What's gotten into these mosh heads-?" He gasped in alarm as a family made a foolhardy break for their SUV, the woman carrying a toddler, the husband with a crying child in each arm. This quickly drew the mob's attention, and the ugly crowd descended on them, brandishing their crude weapons with deadly intent, gleaned from alleyway debris.

They all stopped in the middle of the street as a small, green skinned, elfin-eared youth landed in front of them, clad in purple and black. "All right, you freak jobs! You all act really tough, pickin' on helpless citizens! Well, let's see what you make of _a real head banger!_"

Before he could transform, he fell to his knees as a brick struck him in the temple, pain exploding in his mind, and it suddenly became very hard to think straight. Dimly, he was aware that the mob was descending on him, intending to make his life much, _much_ shorter. "Hey... _dammit_, you guys... please, _don't_..." he whimpered as he fought to crawl away, but terrible pains erupted all over as they fell on him, driving him to cower in a senseless, painless, quiet black void.

* * *

><p>Raven sprawled across a dozen open books on her desk, of all manner of subjects from quantum physics to world religions. Time was running away from her, but she couldn't absorb any more of it tonight, her eyes burning, her head throbing. She whimpered, aching for a short nap, at least. "<em>Ohhh<em>... I know it's crazy to think I could solve mysteries which entire civilizations struggled to fathom for ages, in just a week or so, but if I don't... it could all be over..."

* * *

><p><em>"Just paint your face," the shadows smile<em>  
><em>Slipping me away from you<em>  
><em>"Oh it doesn't matter how you hide<em>  
><em>Find you if we're wanting to<em>  
><em>So slide back down and close your eyes<em>  
><em>Sleep a while, you must be tired... "<em>

Raven stared almost vacantly into the mirror in her room, black eyeliner dabbled around her eyes, black lipstick applied thickly, crudely to her lips, drawn down past the corners in a sad, macabre, clown-like frown. "What is going on?" she whispered, as if someone could answer her. "What is wrong? What am I becoming? Nothing more than the avatar of a world gone mad? Is my fate death, life? Something else, something more?"

"Surely, you know the answer already," spoke her reflection, to which she could only nod mutely.

High above the Tower, deep in the atmosphere, a ring of vapor spread dramatically across the moonlit sky with a deep, reverberant boom. From its center erupted a cloud, billowing like a dark nuclear explosion, surging upward and outward rapidly, until it had nearly swallowed the sky to the horizon, cloaking the heavens with blackness, but only for a time. The people of the city cried out in unbridled panic as flames licked along the bottom of the cumulus in jagged lines, taking the shape of a sky-spanning raven with a baleful red eye. If the apparition wasn't frightening enough, the cloud erupted in fire and lightning. Blinding bolts of blue and garish pink stabbed into the bay, and the region was shaken with blasts of deafening thunder. All who were unlucky enough to be outside fell to their knees, grovelling in mortal terror.

_But every night I burn_  
><em>Every night I call your name<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Every night I fall again<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Scream the animal scream<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Dream the crow black dream<em>

_Every night I burn_  
><em>Scream the animal scream<em>  
><em>Every night I burn<em>  
><em>Dream the crow black dream<em>

_**Some nightmares should never, ever be dreamed. Especially if they are real...**_

Stephen Stryker presents

**Teen Titans**

in

**The Big One**

Teen Titans copyright 2003-Present by DC Comics and Warner Brothers Entertainment

The Big One and all "episodes" contained within, and all original characters, copyright 2012-Doomsday by Stephen Stryker

Lyrics from "Burn" copyright 1994-Present by The Cure and Fiction Records, and provided by azlyrics-dot-com

**Author's Note:** This fiction is long. Wordy. I use archaic English in a style reminiscent of Tolkien. It's loaded with detail. There are lyrics strewn throughout the first chapter, and it's VERY long. Get used to it. You'll spend more time in these characters' heads than you ever have before, so enjoy the fact that these chapters will give you many days of reading, and you might get to know the Titans better than ever. Stryker style, anyhow. ;D

Some scenes will appear in altered form in the actual fiction.


	2. Chapter 1: Vagabonds

The figure, cloaked in darkness, was straining against his seat, as if suffering some kind of agony, his fingers tearing the padding from the armrest. His stiff, outstretched leg hammered a boot heel against the floor rapidly, as if he was succumbing to a seizure. Drowning out his strained, labored breathing was the shrill screech of music coming from headphones; loud, raucous, downright savage heavy metal. His heart pounded against his ribs, the blood rushed through his ears, but the sound of it was overcome by the wild, raucous, depraved music. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the blackness could provide some sort of sanctuary, but it only served to make him feel alone, cast into the depths of a pit, and at the mercy of the furious, relentless singer lurking in it, tearing at his soul with his lyrics. The abusive words screamed into his ears became almost hysterical, but coherent enough to make the point clear.

Surrender to the music, and destroy.

He could finally endure no more, snapping the cords from the headphones with one hand, tearing them from his head with the other, and flung them off into the gloom. He threw himself out of the seat, tore it from its pedestal anchored to the floor, and hurled it with all his might against the wall. He stood there for some time, slouched over like a beast, panting for breath, his eyes staring hatefully as if daring anyone to approach him and suffer the consequences, the silence ringing in tender ears. But with the passage of time, freed from the malicious song blasting away, he gradually regained his senses and stood upright. "Well..." he gasped, rubbing his aching head, "now I know why there are volume warnings on the CDs kids pump into their brains these days." His voice was cultured, intelligent, as smooth as silk on the steel of a swordblade. Hardly the sort to spend an evening listening to death metal groups. "I must say, if this band doesn't make an impact, nothing will. I..."

He noticed the pedestal which once secured his chair to the floor, now a post topped with jagged, torn metal. "I'm going to have to acquire a new seat right away. That doesn't look comfortable at all. And... I don't remember doing it. But, it does indeed indicate that the music has the desired effect I was after."

He went over to the ruined chair and picked it up easily in one hand to take to a junk receptacle, tossing it in with a clatter. "They say that music soothes the savage beast. Let's see what they make of it... when it creates thousands of them, instead."

Stephen Stryker presents

**Teen Titans**

in

_The Big One_

Teen Titans copyright 2003 - Presnt DC Comics and Warner Brothers Entertainment

The Big One and all "episodes" contained within, and all original characters, copyright 2012 - Doomsday by Stephen Stryker

**Episode One: Full Metal Panic**

**Part One: Vagabond**

Things had been relatively quiet since the defeat of Brushogun in Japan last year. In fact, things had become downright boring for the five young superheroes. The major villains in this region of America had been beaten into submission for the most part, and securely imprisoned. H.I.V.E. Academy was still out of commision, as far as they knew. Small time thefts, felonies and the occasional bank robbery were handled well enough by the police or the feds, even if they did get involved themselves on occasion just to keep in crimefighting shape. Still, being typical tweens, they enjoyed the extended vacation, and on this particular early spring day, the group were settled into the Operations Room which doubled as a rec room on the half circle-shaped couch.

Except for Starfire, who was growing moody over the onset of spring, as it brought back fond memories of life on her distant homeworld of Tamaran, even though the planet was a desolate waste for the most part. This season was the occasion of a number of festivals for her people. She couldn't recreate all of them there in the Tower - rather, most of them, due to logistical and cultural reasons. Besides the fact that her friends were often reluctant to participate in the alien activities they often found to be rather strange, at the least, she was determined to open their eyes to a few of the joys she missed in her new life on Earth, bit by bit. Beginning with lunch.

She burst into the room with her usual cheerful smile, though also with an armload of boxes and bags. "Friends," she gushed, "I wish to invite your participation in a feast observed by my people to celebrate the onset of spring, which on Tamaran, we call..."

"I'm tired of starin' at your bumper, Cy. This race will be _mine._"

"Oh yeah, right, Andretti. Unless you can hack the game system real quick, it ain't happenin'."

Her voice trailed to silence as she gazed down the stairs, as none of them had bothered to acknowledge her arrival. Beast Boy and Cyborg were locked in yet another contest in their futuristic racing game. As always, Raven was squatting to the left with her nose in a book. Robin was likewise on the other side, with a book of his own. She decided to speak more loudly, proclaiming, "Khemelmesh'd!"

They knew better than to ignore her completely. Beast boy responded, "Gesuntheit!" which had him and Cyborg choking back laughter. Robin waved to her with a jovial, "Hey, Star!" Raven looked up with a slight nod, briefly, then went back to reading.

She began to walk down the stairs timidly at first, but thought perhaps she could take advantage of the good mood - if Raven could ever be said to be in a truly good mood, and set her load of alien foodstuff down on the counter, smiling in anticipation. "While Khemelmesh'd involves a number of festivities which would be difficult to recreate properly, I wish to prepare the traditional meal for you all..."

Her voice dwindled again as the others gave her a look of stunned realization. Robin cut in quickly, "Uhh... hey, we already ordered pizza." Trying to be as discreet as he could, he faced away and hunched over, saying into his cellphone guardedly, "Hello, Pizza Shack...?"

"Robin, please," Starfire implored. "I simply wish to give you all a taste of the pleasures of my home..." Her face brightened and she added, "I could alter a few of the ingredients to better suit your Earthly tastes!"

That caused an even worse reaction, and Beast Boy said over his shoulder, "Uhh... Starfire? Remember the _last time_ you played around with one of your recipes? We had to kill your dinner." The memory of the glob of foodstuff rampaging around the Tower last year, and the messy, destructive, hectic chase that ensued, was still much too vivid.

As she sighed, looking down and beginning to speak, her words caught in her throat as Cyborg whispered urgently, "Robin, hurry up before she starts whining."

He flinched as if she'd smacked him on the back of his head, his heart deflating at the hurt tone of her voice. "I will not whine." Facing away dejectedly, she whimpered, "Enjoy your meal of savory meats, cheeses and tofu..."

"Uhm... listen, Star-" he began, then whipped back to face the screen as Beast Boy began giggling mischievously. "Hey, _get back here you hobgoblin!_ This race ain't _even_ over yet!"

Robin watched somberly as the crushed alien girl began to collect her things, nearly forgetting his order, and finished quietly, "Uh, yeah, double everything as usual." Raven began to get up, but was grateful to see that Robin wasn't as thick-headed as the other two testosterone-driven males, pocketing his phone as he jumped over the back of the couch.

Starfire felt too miserable to move at more than a snail's pace, as she nudged her things into a pile which she could carry back to her room. "I am still not truly a part of this world... perhaps it is wrong to ask my friends to be a part of mine-"

"That's not true at all, and you know it." Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of the young leader's voice, and the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder. Her heart beat a little faster at the smile on his face. "How long have you been a member of this team?"

"Uhm... five of your years," she murmured, looking aside as a blush began to blossom on her cheeks from his presence. "I know that I must seem foolish to you, but... it is just that... every year, we celebrate the festivities of your world, while I must remember my own. I suppose... I am suffering from the home-illness..."

Robin swallowed a chuckle at her awkward miswording, taking her hand with a smile. "Hey, it's only natural, and I understand, believe me. But I don't ever want you to feel like you're not at home here."

The melancholy clouds lifted immediately, and she was heartened even more at the glimpse of a thin smile from Raven. She wanted more than almost anything to fully belong there, to be one with them. The only thing she wanted more was to be one with the young man holding her hand. Her voice a bit quiet, she confessed as she clasped his hand in both of hers, "I was hoping perhaps that... this year, we could have celebrations of both our worlds... then, we could have twice the occasions to be joyous together."

"That would be great-!" he began, then realized the implications and tugged at his collar. "Aaand... that means food, doesn't it." As the delight in Starfire's eyes began to fade, and then to cast down, he gave the girl's hand a squeeze. "I tell you what. Let's figure out those foods we can get along with best, and I'll help you prepare them. Just..." He held up his hand, his finger and thumb close together. "Small portions to start off with, okay?"

"Oh Robin... wonderful!" she gushed enthusiastically, then added in a quieter tone, "Thank you... this means ever so much to me."

The other three overheard, gaping at the pair in disbelief. Raven fell over, aghast, the book flopping across her face. "Robin..." she croaked, "one of these days, your kindness is going to get one of us killed."

"Oh, I know!" Cyborg exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I'll save the delivery charges and go get those pizzas myself!"

"I am _so_ with you, Cy-man!" Beast Boy chimed in, ready to bolt after him.

"_Freeze!_" Raven snarled, stopping them before they moved an inch. "Unless you're going to get Pepto from the fridge. You're both going to suffer right along with me."

As the pair sank to the couch, petrified from the sight of the angry mystic, Robin and Starfire looked to each other, laughing. "Uhm... perhaps..." the girl began hesitantly, "frosted cup-cakes, ice cream and brownies would be festive enough for today."

"Now, _that_ sounds like a tasty comporomise," Robin said to her with a grateful smile.

The others drew sighs of relief, though for the two guys it was short lived, as there came the sound of a crash from the big screen. Moaning in dismay, they saw their vehicles in smoking ruin as GAME OVER in huge letters flashed over the scene. "Cyborg," Beast Boy whined, "why didn't you pause it!"

"Why didn't you?" he shot back.

"Because I was more worried about the end of my stomach as I know it," he grumbled. "And I was gonna win this one!"

"The heck you _were!_" Cyborg declared, thrusting his finger in the other's face. "When it comes to racing games, I have _no_ competition."

"Oh _yeah?_" Beast Boy leered back. "Do you have record laps on _all the tracks?_"

He was caught short by that, and it took him a moment to come up with a response. "That's not the same thing at all."

"How do you figure that!" the changeling protested, and with that, The Bickerfest was on, their argument growing louder, more childish, and more heated with each passing moment.

They flinched away as Raven closed her book with a crack like a pistol shot and gave an angry outcry. "_EeeEENOUGH!_ Gahh... who can read with you two going at it like two year olds!" She hopped over the couch and stormed off, the book in one hand, grumbling, "And wouldn't you know, I'm almost out of Lovecraft... what else is there?"

"Dang," Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg, "we usually get at least five minutes of fun before she blows." His friend could only nod in agreement.

As the others watched her head for the doors quietly, Starfire broke the peace-bringing silence, as usual. "What is... Lovecraft?" An obvious thought came to her and she clasped her hands in delight. "Has Raven been reading the romance novel for a change?"

The blue-cloaked mystic froze in mid-step, a shiver running up her spine, and the three males braced for a potential outburst. The girl's voice was eerily quiet at first, but it quickly rose to a furious crescendo. "Starfire... have you ever seen me... within ten feet of..." She whirled around, her eyes red, as menacing black filaments rose around her. "_A freaking romance novel?_"

Starfire found herself alone and exposed, as Robin dove behind the couch with the others for cover. "Uhhmmm..." she meeped, her knuckles white with fear, somehow forcing a smile. "_No_... _oOOoo_..."

"_Then DON'T SAY SUCH BRAIN-deah...!_" Her voice trailed off and she turned away, catching herself before she fully insulted her friend. "Don't even joke like that... okay?"

Starfire could only nod in a state of mute shock, having only seen the strange mystic overcome with such anger in rare circumstances. The four watched Raven wander to the doors, trailing black vapors behind her which evaporated to nothing, though with a lingering, disturbing, acrid smell. "_Maaan_..." Cyborg whispered guardedly. "That is one complicated girl."

"I don't get it," Beast Boy said more openly as she left, and the doors closed behind her. "What's her psyche in a knot about? There has to be a bazillion books out there to read." He began mimicking a zombie, saying in as deep a British accent as he could manage, "Even horror... _horror_."

"Oh, dude," Cyborg told him knowingly. "Lovecraft is the godfather of gothic horror."

Beast Boy looked sceptical. "And you know of this _how?_"

"I was into goth for a while when I was a kid."

The shapeshifter burst out laughing. "Give me a mammoth-scale break! There is no _way_ you were _ever_ goth!"

"Hey, I was a funky fresh kinda goth..." He stopped himself, realizing he was derailing his own point. "Anyhow, _way_ off the subject, so just listen, okay? Lovecraft is about the creepiest stuff out there. Remember _Wicked Scary_?"

"Uhh... sure, who doesn't?" he replied, shrugging. "Badazz flick, wasn't it?"

"Yeah... well, it's based on one of Lovecraft's stories. Know what's worse?" The green-skinned youth was almost afraid to reply, so Cyborg continued, leaning forward, "Remeber when Raven wigged out after the movie that night? Well, _that's_ the kinda stuff that happens all through his stories. And a few legends have it that somethin' like it all _really happened_."

"Woah... _seriously?_" he squeaked, his pupils narrowed and voice strangled from the dreadful memories, and he turned to gaze at the doors as if Raven might burst through them and get them for gossiping about her. "No wonder she's been in a freakier mood than normal for a month."

"Ohh... _my_," Starfire whispered in concern and sympathy.

"I know that horror fiction fits her persona and all," Robin mused, stroking his chin. "But a steady diet of nothing _but_ that can't be good, even for her. We should figure out some way to ease her into some kind of group situation with us. In the meantime, I think we should take it easy on her. And by '_we_,' I mean _you_ two." He pointed with thumb and finger at the key pair of instigators in the team.

"_Me?_" Cyborg exclaimed incredulously.

"Aw, come on!" the shapeshifter protested, equally outraged. "_Moi?_ Life o' the party Beast Boy-?"

"_Especially_ you," Robin told him warningly. "If anyone can find Raven's last nerve and stomp on it, you manage somehow."

"He's gotcha there," Cyborg said with an accusing smile.

"Ohh... guys, get real," Beast Boy persisted. "This is Raven we're talkin' about, not some lunatic psychopath."

"Well... okay, if you think you can handle things," Robin said, raising his hands dismissively, then shot him a grin. "But just remember what she's been capable of in the past. If you rub her the wrong way at the wrong time, we might not be around afterwards to pick up the pieces."

"Touu... _che_," the lad grumbled, hating how easy he was to peg at times. "Man, why can't we just buy that grumpy girl a sense of humor for her birthday?"

"Think we could afford one big enough to cheer her up?" Cyborg chuckled.

Beast Boy hung his head with a sigh. "Doubt it."

Raven turned away from the Ops Room entrance dejectedly, not wanting to hear any more. Her head bowed, she seemed to drift over the floor on the way to her chamber. "Starfire thinks _she_ doesn't fit in?" Raven murmured sorrowfully. "She's like a long lost twin sister to them, compared to me..."

Safely locked in her room, she threw herself on the bed, wallowing in self pity as she gazed around the chamber, at the unearthly occult-flavored items that adorned it, the creepy old horror books she'd been meaning to dust, save for the volumes of H. P. Lovecraft she recently bought, and the walls of gray, black and blue. _The Inner Sanctum_, they took to calling her bedroom, and she hadn't helped matters by scaring off the team when they attempted to get so much as a peek within, even after everyone but Robin had been inside, if briefly. She was an adamantly private girl, but would it have killed her to open up just a little for her friends, friends who often risked their lives to protect her? "How did they put up with me for so long?" she wondered sadly. "Some freak, a living nightmare from a dark dimension, lurking in their midst, who they have nothing in common with..."

Her misery blinded her to the very deep and unquestioning friendship she had just reflected over, a problem which afflicted dark souls when they felt overwhelmed. But she didn't want to suffer through such a gloomy mood undirected, lest it bring her to tears, something she hated more than any other emotional trait, and she refused to allow. "Oh... knock it off, Raven," she said to herself scoldingly, pushing herself upright. "I have to get out of here for some fresh air." Getting to her feet, her blue cloak settling around her, she became a shadow which passed into the floor without a sound.

By "fresh air," she meant The Sepulchre, notorious as the most appropriately gothic club in the region. She emerged from the street before the place, a dingy run-down looking wreck with cracked windows. The front was littered with barren thornbushes, pieces of decrepit furniture, wounded mannequins, faded pictures of the infamous departed, broken toys, wrecked trappings from Catholic Churches, fractured statues, all manner of trash and refuse from a world the kids felt alienated by. It was slightly better inside, though that was part of the gloomy decor. Typically strange music wafted up the steps, along with the taste of incense she couldn't place, as if trying to seduce her inside. She consented, naturally, and like a ghost, she drifted down the stairs to the sunken clubspace within.

"Welcome, Raven," said an unsmiling young woman who went by Vulnavia, done up in tattered, very skimpy dark clothes, blueish body paint or dye tainting her from forehead to toe, and black lipstick and hair with blue highlights. Unsmiling, because anything but the faintest, melancholy mirage of a smile was uncool in the goth world. She was possessed of a haunting beauty and a smooth but commanding voice, and was co-owner with a guy who called himself Claw, a twenty-something who went overboard with the tattoos and body piercings, in her opinion. Somehow, Vulnavia always knew when Raven appeared and was there to greet her, a fact which puzzled the girl. "I had a feeling you would come today. I set aside a table for you." Being a while after noon, it was much too early for many customers and too late for the diners, so there were plenty of free tables. And fortunately, this also meant fewer smokers, especially pot smokers, so the filtering system kept the air clean.

"Thanks," she replied flatly, her eyes downcast, following the matron into the gloom away from the entrance. She passed by a trio of boys in their typical black-and-whatever Hot Topic pre-worn-relic clothes, leaning against a wall strategically so they could check out the girls who came in, trying halfheartedly not to ogle her. "Hey," they intoned in unison, one raising his fist in greeting.

She wasn't in the mood for company, grumbling back, "Hey... creatures."

Vulnavia led her to a small table in the shadows with a single scuffed up wrought-iron chair beside it, which still proved quite comfortable. After all, clubs with uncomfortable seating wouldn't keep customers very long. For a club of this nature though, it still seemed contradictory. Then again, so did her visit today.

The Sepulchre seemed to offer itself as a home away from home for her, and she found herself surrounded by kindred spirits. Or so she thought, at first. As she grew accustomed to human beings and their various personnae, she began to see that the whole goth movement was some kind of silly charade, an elaborate game, an endless cosplay. These kids had no idea what real inner darkness was, save for a very special few, and those were exceedingly rare and hard to find. She tended to scare them away when she did. Almost to a person, they were just confused, misdirected posers who had difficulty dealing with such mundane issues of life as acne, schoolwork, boring jobs, or speaking to the opposite sex. They weren't really troubled as much as immature, and fascinated with this cool new way of expressing their immaturity. Thousands upon millions of fake, childish twerps, dressed in black, black and more black, and intentionally darkening their days for no good reason.

Most days, it was rather amusing to wander in their midst, as many thought she was just another cosplayer, faking the personna of Raven. Others knew better, but both groups did their best to act cool, distant and uninterested in her, even as most of the guys and some of the girls would give organs for a single dance with her, or a night in bed. Whenever she appeared in their midst like a wraith draped in violet-blue and black, every eye in the place was drawn to her, wandering along her curves and cloak, boy and girl alike. It didn't help matters, she realized, that she was dressed like a girl trolling for sex. But that was their problem, and they learned to respect her, or suffered the consequences. Occasionally she felt flattered by the attention, rarely thrilled, though mostly it was uncomfortable disdain. Today, she just felt confused, hollow and depressed. The implication struck her painfully just then, and she held her head in one hand, grumbling sadly, "Good grief... I'm turning into one of _them_."

"Can I get you something?"

She jerked upright as if jarred from slumber. Vulnavia had wandered over, and it had completely escaped her notice. "Oh, uhhh..." she mumbled vacantly, trying to collect stray thoughts into a semblance of coherence. "Uhm... sorry. Get me a Bloody Mary. With extra... stuff."

The blue-skinned woman's eyebrow raised slightly, which for her was almost like a double-take. "Whatever you want, dear." She stroked a nail along the black sleeve on Raven's arm, making her skin crawl. They shared a weird sort of affinity, but there were times the woman disturbed her. She wanted to be with Starfire for a moment, be with a real, honest, wholesome, _sane_ living person, and thought of flying away or sinking into the floor. But the music seemed to hypnotize her, and she lost the will to move, to do nothing but wait patiently for her drink while the music seeped into her being.

One of the few things she liked about the place was the high-fidelity sound system, and it played everything with surprising clarity and volume, but which the people could actually talk over. And among all the pleasures Earth had to offer, the one thing she cherished most of all was the music. The stranger, the wilder, the louder and more unhinged it was, the better. But this time, it was the opposite.

It was strange to hear music that sounded so poppy and trippy here, but there was an undercurrent running all through it of something... unearthly. It was hard to pin down, but the odd stray notes and layers of off-tune guitars and synthesizers weaving all through it in a discordant, twisted kind of harmony, anchored with a thick bass, captivated her, and she found herself tapping her foot to the beat. But most of all was the dreamy moaning-wailing voice of the singer, often drawling out the words as if half-drunk. The slurred lyrics mostly eluded her, as if dancing just beyond her perception in an endless tease, and it was at once an annoying and engrossing chase.

Something else became annoying; the gaze of the boys scattered around the gloomy interior as they crawled over her form, making her feel like a rabbit who had wandered into a circle of wolves. It was silly to feel so vulnerable, as she was one of the least feeble women on the planet. But she felt helpless beneath those lurid stares as their eyes groped their way over her body. She did her best to squirm more into her cloak, conceal her legs, pulling her hood more over her face, grumbling, "I hate these people staring-"

_I hate these people staring_

_Make them go away from me!_

She nearly choked as the lyrics rang as clear as day into her spirit, and she forgot the hungry stares, trying to follow the music as it danced just out of reach from her. What _was_ this stuff?

A drink appeared in front of her, causing her to jerk again and feel stupid for it. "You're jumpy today. Why so serious?" Vulnavia asked, and it struck her after a moment that she was throwing in a brief line from a movie.

"Oh, just..." the mystic replied, struggling to come up with something, anything to say. "One of those days, you know?"

"I do..." the blue-skinned woman replied in a breathy voice, her eyes lingering on the girl's face in a way that made her stomach clench.

'Why are you being so weird _today_, of all the damned days!' Raven grumbled inwardly, pricking her finger with a needle and squeezing seven drops of purplish blood into her drink. It just didn't seem right to have a Bloody Mary without real blood in it. As she sucked on the tip afterward, she noticed that Vulnavia was lingering nearby, watching with an inscrutable expression on her face, but looking pleased. Dismayed at how much of a psychotic carnival her day was becoming, she took a deep swig of her drink. She instantly regretted it as the vodka and other strong ingredients burned in her throat, and it was all she could do to keep from coughing.

"Are you all right?" Vulnavia asked in a disinterested way.

"I'm... great," she rasped back, waving her off, and prayed that she took the obvious hint. She squeezed her eyes shut for just a few moments as she forced down a few lingering drops lodged in the cusp of her windpipe, and when she opened them, the haunting blue woman had vanished. She gnawed on the stalk of celery from her drink, growling, "I can't believe this stupid day is beginning to freak _me_ out. Me!"

And then she plunged the stalk back into the drink, wanting to cry. The most gorgeous melancholy music she had ever heard poured over her like sheets of silk, guitar notes and synthesizer tones flowing around her in a lovely stream of sound, as softly as flower petals. She normally sneered at pretty music like this, but its ethereal beauty was irresistable. He began singing again, a haunting, yearning plea, like a prayer to an angel, and she could scarcely breathe as she drank the words in.

_I'd love to touch the sky tonight  
><em>_I'd love to touch the sky  
><em>_So take me in your arms  
><em>_And lift me like a child  
><em>_And hold me up so high  
><em>_And never let me go  
><em>_Take me  
><em>_Take me in your arms tonight_

_Hold me  
><em>_Hold me up so high  
><em>_And never let me down  
><em>_Hold me  
><em>_Hold me up so high  
><em>_To touch the sky  
><em>_Just one more time_

_Take me in your arms tonight  
><em>_Take me in your arms  
><em>_Just one more time_

She choked down a sob, aching for gentle arms to wrap around her like those; caring, understanding, accepting without reservation in a tender embrace, cradling her against their warm bosom. "If only... someone was there that could hold me like that... make me feel that way..." she whispered longingly. "Someone who knows the darkness inside, like I do. If I could just... meet _you_, or someone just like you... if only for a day." She decided that whoever this was, he was that kindred spirit she had been seeking on this world. In the back of her mind, she knew the lyrics weren't really all that deep, and probably just about sex, but for that moment, she clung to something greater she couldn't put into words, but was supremely profound, loving, and true.

A blue hand drifted past, and she snatched at it desperately, feeling stupid at her overreaction as Vulnavia turned to face her with a puzzled look, and struggled to get a grip on her unbridled emotions. "Uhm... sorry. I wanted to... hit up on you for more music to beef up my playlist. I chew through it like crazy. I just... I normally don't get into poppy stuff like... but... what _is_ this?"

The blue-painted woman almost looked offended as she stared down at the girl, which meant she very much was. "It _isn't_ pop. It's the _best_ music this universe has ever been blessed with. Once you experience it all yourself, you'll understand. You won't want to leave any of it off. But since I know you prefer the harder stuff, I can give you a few more options to add to your list."

"Uhm... thanks," Raven said to her with a grateful smile that crept out without warning. She covered her mouth as Vulnavia wandered off with a smirk, shaking her head at herself, and taking another hungry drink. She stared into her glass, her eyes playing tricks with her, perhaps from the alcohol, as it seemed that the glass cylinder stretched downward endlessly. "I have _got_ to get out of here, off this crazy emotional rollercoaster and back to the Tower, before I really flake out-" She looked up in surprise as a piece of brown parchment in blue fingers was offered to her, with spidery writing on it. Hadn't she _just_ left? "Uhm... thanks, again."

"Take this too. You should like it," she told Raven, holding forth a DVD.

She did so, but when she saw what it was, she gaped upward with a tired expression. "The _Crow?_ Vulnavia... this movie series is just dumb, and there are, like... nineteen of them-"

"_Not_ this one," she insisted. "It's the real one. Not nearly as bad as _Wicked Scary_, but it will stab you right in the gut. Trust your angel of the night on this. And if you really want to feel it, and the music, especially, you might consider..." She lifted pinched fingers to her lips meaningfully, puckering with half closed eyes on a pretend blunt. "You know."

The allusion angered the girl, and she growled, "Vulnavia, you know I don't approve of that stuff. You shouldn't do it either... it's bad for you!"

The woman drew her lips in an off-center smirk which angered her even more, nodding as she eyed the drink before her meaningfully. "If you say so."

"I...!" she began, bristling at the lecture in that look, then swallowed a spiteful remark, doing her best to rein in her frazzled emotions. "Do have to go. It's been an increasingly weird day, and I have to meditate." She pulled out a fistfull of dollars from a pouch and tossed it on the battered table. It was way more than the price of her drink, could have been as much as a hundred bucks, but it was worth it to leave it at that, just to have a few more seconds of relief from the ever more bizarre pit of angst. "I'll swing by again soon."

What Vulnavia said surprised her, though it shouldn't have. "I'll just deposit most of this tip on your tab for next time. It should cut out your next bill completely, if not far more. Oh... which reminds me," she added, causing Raven to pause at the doorway. "_Stab_ is playing tonight. He was hoping to see you this week."

"Ohh..." Raven murmured, lingering in the entrance, her eyes drawn to the floor as if too heavy to keep level. If she thought she felt conflicted before, she was in the grip of it now. "Stab" was a half-Japanese guy, the lead guitar player in his band, Hangman, and one of the few lurkers here worth talking to. And he was really good looking. But it didn't take long to discover that he was also a typical male with alterior motives, and got a bit too frisky with her one night. He almost ended up wearing his guitar the wrong way, and she had barely seen him since. Still, when his hands weren't reaching where they weren't welcome, something about him lingered in her heart. Why did everything in her life end up ruined somehow? "Uhm... I'll try to make it," she flung back, then bolted up the steps.

Vulnavia gazed at the entrance for a while, as if lost in thought, then drifted toward the table with Raven's drink and money on it. When she passed by, they were gone.

As Raven reached the sidewalk, she jumped back with a terrified start, as a german shepherd on a leash arched his back and barked furiously at her out of its own fear. She rose into the sky, causing a small ruckus on the street as crowds flocked to watch her astonishing departure. She didn't want to leave, wanted to stay and listen to that strange, captivating music all day and night. But she had to go. Something about the chaotic emanations of the place clashed with her spirit drastically, today in particular, for whatever reason. She didn't want to head back to the Tower yet either, wishing she had another home away from home. Some dead, haunted, bat-infested mansion she could claw open a space in among the spectres and wraiths, and make a nest for herself, another Sanctum. A Sanctum away from Santum, she thought to herself, smiling pathetically at the poor attempt at humor, as bad as something Beast Boy would come up with. But nothing like that existed, as far as she knew.

"So... where do I go, when there's nowhere _to_ go?" she asked herself somberly. Knowing that there was only one clear answer, she resignedly began to drift towards the bay, like a blue and black wisp of cloud, and began looking over the strange DVD case in her grasp.

* * *

><p>"Raaaven," Beast Boy called, standing at her door a bit uncertainly, but he volunteered to make first contact, or try, as no one could flee danger as fast as he could. He decided to rap on the metal door. "Ray-ray? Hey, come on sunshine-" He clasped his hand over his mouth, muttering, "Woah... almost a tragic faux <em>paw<em>, there. Uhm... hey, come _on_ Raven! We orderd a medium pizza just for you, with extra onions, olives and _shroooms_. Hurry up before Cyborg gets the munchies for seconds!" There was no response, and he shrugged to the cybernaut and Starfire, who had decided to watch from the end of the hallway while Robin recieved their pizza order. "Nothin', not even the usual 'buzz off.' Is that girl blasting metal in her headphones again?"

"Ohhh..." Starfire fretted. "I sense great turmoil and sorrow in the heart of my friend. I should go to-"

"I think we _all_ sensed that, Star," Cyborg told her stopping her with a hand to her shoulder. "But hold on. Maybe she just needs some alone time. If she's really bent about somethin', I'm sure she'd let us in on it. We're like family," he added at the unsure look on her face.

"I suppose you are right..." the alien princess replied, her voice trailing away forlornly.

Starfire's mood was working on the shapeshifter as well, and though he usually didn't show it, he felt as close to Raven as any of them. "Later, Ray," he murmured, turning to go. "Just... come outta your shell one o' these days, 'kay?"

"Beast Boy?"

He froze at the sound of his name, whirling around and trotting back to the barely open door with a big grin. "Hey, Raven!"

"Uhm... hey," she replied softly from under her hood, giving him the thinnest, most melancholy smile he'd seen since the early days, when she really was in a shell.

"Girl, you got everyone in a mood over you, the way you been actin' lately, all spookier than a Stephen King character. Now, come on out and partake of some o' this pizza before it gets cold and gobbled up by _you know who_." He jerked his thumb towards the end of the hallway where the sound of Cyborg and Starfire could be heard, running back after seeing that the lad hadn't been following them.

She groaned at the bubbly sound of Starfire, calling her name, as she really wasn't in the mood for _bubbly_ right then. "Listen... I'm not feeling so hot. Just put mine in the fridge, and I'll be out later for supper-" She belched, mumbling an appology, cringing at the flavor of vodka on her breath.

As she feared, it couldn't escape Beast Boy's sharp senses, and he gaped at her in shock. "Have you been drinking-?"

She snatched him close, telling him sternly, "It's our little secret. _'Kay?_"

He put his hands up defensively, gasping from the scent of liquor on her breath. "Please don't eat me."

She groaned, cradling her face in one hand in shame, murmuring, "Beast Boy, I... I'm sorry-"

"Hey, it's called a _joke_," he said chidingly, reaching for her hand. "Now come on out, _please?_ You can't stay couped up in your own little Batcave all day, just comin' out to read a chapter of that creepy crawlie stuff once in a-"

"Later," she snapped, nearly slamming the door shut on his hand just as the others trotted up.

"Beast Boy?" Starfire asked curiously, wondering why he was holding his hand and staring open mouthed at Raven's door.

"So, what's the verdict?" Cyborg chimed in. "You _did_ talk to 'er, right?"

He blinked, realizing there were still lingering vapors of liquor in the air and began fanning his arms around wildly. "Oh! Hey! Yeah! Uh, she's... gonna powder her nose. For a few hours."

"What the heck does _that_ mean?" Cyborg blurted out. Starfire nodded, wondering how nose powder helped make her feel better. The boy's antics caused something to spring to mind, and he added, "Or, did you pull a skunky on the poor girl?" _Skunkies_ were among their pet polite terms for breaking wind.

"No, I didn't pull a skunkie!" he growled at them irritably.

"Barking spider?" Cyborg added with a grin.

"_NO!_" he exclaimed, beginning to push them down the hallway. "She's just got an upset tummy... _can't imagine why_," he added more quietly, giving a somber look over his shoulder at the girl's bedroom door.

Raven leaned against the door, touching it with her forehead, and listened to make sure she was going to be unbothered for a while. She had second thoughts about joining them after all, until another belch reminded her why that would cause uncomfortable questions. A twinge of ache and nausea stabbed into her belly, though, and she grumbled tenderly, "Maybe... I should grab that pizza after all..."

"Guys! Come get it!" Robin called down the main corridors of the Tower, entering the Ops Room with a nice hot stack of cardboard boxes oozing spicy fragrance. "Extra cheeze packs too. This should be-"

He yelled out, jumping back in reflex as a shaft of blackness erupted from the floor, throwing the pizza cartons skyward in the process. He landed tenderly on his rump, cartons dropping all around him. The mystic snatched one of the boxes in mid-flight, gaping in shock at the havoc she'd caused, while Robin stared back at her in astonishment. "_Raven?_"

"Sorry! I'm sorry..." she whimpered, the dark wraith plunging back into the floor.

He blinked for a moment in perplexion, wondering aloud, "What the heck was _that_ all about...?" His voice faded as chese began dripping in front of his face, and he felt a hot slice of the meal sinking into his slicked back hair. "Oh, for crying out _loud_... guess I'll take this one," he groaned, sliding it from his head into the box it had come from, or so he hoped, jostling the pizza in the carton to nudge the toppings more or less back into place. "I hope the guys don't mind if they're a little... scrambled."

It was an interesting dinner.

Cyborg stared in dismay at the droopy slice he was holding. "Dang, Robin, what did you _do!_ Juggle 'em on the way in? And how did Starfire's toppings get on my pizza?" He picked off a few pieces of broccoli and pineapple, depositing them daintily on the sheepish girl's plate.

"Uhm... Raven kind of wanted hers right then," Robin murmured, resorting to using a spoon to eat his.

"Lemme guess, showed up as subtle as a lightning strike."

"Pretty much," he replied, offering Cyborg a spoon. "Here, it's easier with-"

"You don't eat pizza with a dang spoon," he snapped, pushing the other's hand away. "It's finger food, meant to be eaten like it too. Though, this is way too much like skinny lasanga now..."

"It does make..." Starfire began, doing her best to place her mouth beneat the dripping slice she was attempting to keep in her hands. "The eating of the pizza... quite a challenge."

Cyborg finally gave up on fighting with the half-liquid mess and engulfed half of it, chewing and swallowing it as fast as he could, as he was in the mood to discuss matters. "By the way, our resident lawn ornament here managed to have a short chit-chat with Raven, and has been kinda glum ever since." The sullen green-skinned youth looked up with half-nibbled cheeze and tofu in his mouth as Cyborg fixed him in a stern gaze. "Care to let us in on the conversation?"

"Yeah, what did she say?" Robin asked, and Starfire added quickly, "Yes, tell us!"

He swallowed his slice whole in shock at the uncomfortable attention, doing his best not to choke, then grinned up at his friends much too brightly. "Oh! Uh, nothin' much. You know, just... shot the breeze about... stuff. And things. For a second."

"What kinda things?" Cyborg pressed in a voice that was uncomfortably quiet, but insistent.

_It's our little secret. 'Kay?_

The words rang in the lad's memory, causing his stomach to knot, as he wished badly to share it with his friends. They really should know, as he wasn't exactly a pillar of wisdom or experience concerning personal problems. But even though he hadn't promised Raven anything, he felt obligated to her. Lacing his fingers in a tight fist, he mumbled, looking aside, "Well... she kinda has... issues..."

The cyberman slapped his chrome forehead in dismay. "Dude... news flash for you; we got that memo. Now listen up. Last few times you kept secrets from us, the whole damn world started blowin' to kingdom come around us. This looks to me like an opening salvo. Now, if you don't wanna talk, you can endure my guaranteed-to-get-results tickle-torture-"

The teen began waving his arms frantically. "No, you _can't-!_"

"_Or_, I might have to let you know about those pieces of pepperoni and sausage you just swallowed," he finished with a wry smile.

He pulled his tongue out, doing his best to examine it. "_Wah? DUU'E!_" It snapped back into his mouth and he continued whining, "Why didn't you _say something!_"

"Oh, I didn't say you _did_, but I could tickle it out of you to make _sure_," Cyborg told him with a mischievous grin, while Robin and Starfire looked on with disgust. "Now, _SPIT IT OUT OR YOU'LL SPIT IT OUT ANYWAY!_"

As the other two picked themselves up from the floor in shock, Beast Boy blew their hair back as he screamed, "_I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? I don't know what the heck her problem is or why she's been out drinngglnnngg...!_" Stunned at his near-admission, he smothered his mouth in both hands and dove under the table. "Damn it damn it damn it damn it... _I'm sorry Raven_," he whined quietly.

The mystic was suddenly overcome with a hearty sneeze, throwing her face into the pizza slice she was nibbling. As she did her best to peel herself out of cheezy cobwebs, waves of heat rising from her head, she snarled, "They're talking about me, I just know it. And if they are, Beast Boy is responsible. And he is _so_ going to regret it."

"You can't hide under there forever-" Cyborg began.

"Yes I can."

He began smiling and asked, "How's that pepperoni taste?"

The youth whimpered, sounding close to tears, "Duuude... _please_, don't do this to meee..."

"Cyborg, knock it off," Robin ordered, leaning under the table to look at his friend huddled beneath. "Beast Boy, come on up and finish your pizza."

"I'm not hungry anymore," he muttered dejectedly, crawling from under the table, and trudged for the exit.

Starfire watched him depart, wincing in sympathy, then faced the two males. "I do not think it is wise to leave Raven by herself to..." She sought for one of their cliches, offering up tentatively, "Saute?"

"Stew," Robin corrected with a smile, then grew serious. "But you're right. I should have listened to you. I just thought... it might be one of those mood swings of hers."

Cyborg coughed in reaction. "Robin, _those_ are bad in and of themselves. Her _mood swings_ can knock the Tower off its foundation. But you caught what B.B. 'told' us, right? You ever know Raven to drink?"

"Not even beer," he admitted. "None of us do, except for you."

"Just once in a while," Cyborg corrected him, "and I sure as heck don't turn into a one-man horror movie freak show. But... wha'dya think the problem is? Could she be homesick?"

Robin shrugged back. "As far as I know, she can go there whenever she wants... wherever _there_ is. I've been thinking that maybe she's just a little stir crazy, stuck here with us all the time, day in, day out, and listening to you and Beast Boy argue over the dumbest things." He couldn't hold back a smile at many such memories.

"Well... hey, me and B.B. have our tussles," Cyborg admitted, "but it's just good clean fun, nothin' we haven't done before."

"Yeah, but it does get old after a while," he said advisedly. "When you get someone as mellow as Starfire on your case, you know it's gone on _way_ too long."

Cyborg propped his head up with one hand at the sour memories, of her epic outbursts and then what followed. "Yeah, those legendary Tamaranian Lectures on Niceness, or whatever..."

"You remembered!" she squeeled in delight, causing the other two to wince at the recollection of endless heartfelt-but-mindnumbing blather.

Anxious to move the conversation along, Cyborg asked, "What if it's...?" His voice trailed off to an uncomfortable silence as he realized he was in the presence of an innocent alien girl, and coughed self-consciously. "Uhm... you know... that time of the month?"

"Oh, I don't-"

"What is... 'that time of the month'?" Starfire asked naiively. "What does it refer to, Robin?"

As the Boy Wonder gaped at Starfire in disbelief, Cyborg asked brightly, "Yeah, what does it refer to?" glad he wasn't the one having to deflect the curious girl, though it earned him a look of doom from his friend.

"Well, it..." Robin began, tugging uncomfortably on his tight collar. "Uhm... has to do with... issues of a woman's... matters that I'll explain later," he finished quickly to the confused girl. "Besides, how many years has she been here? We'd know by now."

"Yeah, just graspin' at a straw, I guess," Cyborg confessed, and that left one which was particularly unpleasant. "She... goes to those goth clubs, right? What if she's..." He found it difficult to continue, playing with his hands for a bit, and finally forcing it out. "What if she's strung out on somethin'?"

Robin gasped in dismay, though Cyborg's point had occurred to him as he asked it. "I just... can't believe that Raven would do that. And I don't want to think it's even possib-"

"You take that back!" the green-skinned boy exclaimed, bursting into the room again.

"Oh, look who came crawlin' back," drawled Cyborg as he wiped his hands on a napkin. "After _we_ wrestled with most of the tough topics; Wimp Boy, showin' up for the grand finale so he can muck everything up with immature tantrums."

"Cyborg-" Robin began.

"You take _that_ back too!" The teen stormed to the table, clearly furious, growling, "Or I'll make you!"

"Oh yeah?" Cyborg leaned forward, trying to face him down. "You and what T-Rex army?"

Robin and Starfire tried to speak over them both, pull them apart and try to bring a measure of calm back to the meeting of minds, but Beast Boy wasn't done yet. "Fine! Bad mouth me all you want! You never really stopped anyhow. But you take back what you said about Raven! She's not that kinda girl! She just _isn't!_"

"Hey, sour apple!" Cyborg shouted, holding up a dripping half-ruined slice of pizza. "Wake up and smell the chaos! Somethin's up! And with someone as powerful as Raven, we gotta figure out _what_, and how to make things right! No matter what they are! Okay? I'm not tryin' to be mean!" His body untensed, his voice dropped in volume, and he told the lad somberly, "Come on, kid, she's my friend too. And I'm worried about 'er."

"Yeah, but..." he began, deflating, crushed from worry, and looked to Robin. "It just... can't be anything like _that_. Right?"

He shook his head, searching for something to say to reassure the lad, but he needed that for himself too. "I just... don't know, Beast Boy." He faced away as the teen looked to the floor sadly, needing to clear his own emotions so he could think, to ponder the matter and draw together everything he knew about the strange otherworldly girl, and the unique relationship they shared. "That's just a worst case scenario anyway. And frankly, dealing with drugs early on might be the easiest problem to handle."

The changeling gaped at him in shock. "_Seriously?_"

"Well, yeah, if she's not addicted yet." He added quickly, "And I'm not saying she is, just speculating."

This puzzled Starfire, and she asked out of her perpetual innocence, "I do not understand. What sort of medicines do they have at these clubs, and why are they so bad?"

Beast Boy chuckled ruefully. "It's... not really like that, Star."

"It's not medicine," Cyborg explained. "It's stuff that messes 'em up. Causes strange thoughts, weird dreams, hallucinations, psycho experiences. They do bad things to their own bodies on purpose, just so they can have these psychadelic thrills, and eventually, they can't handle much of anything. Their lives fall apart."

She looked increasingly horrified, drawing her hand to her mouth, and whimpered, "Those poor... children. How can they be so foolish?"

Cyborg looked down regretfully. "They don't have a clue what they're doin', and they don't trust anyone who tries to explain how bad drugs really are, especially older folk like their parents and teachers. Heck, even guys like us. They usually end up learnin' the hard way. Get sick of payin' for it, just get sick period, or hit some kinda brick wall that lays 'em out for a while." He didn't have the heart to tell her that sometimes, kids wound up dead.

Starfire shivered in the grip of anxiety. It was the worst revelation she had learned of this alien world she now called home, and its strange, often troubled people. She worried for these youths, and the treacherous choices they were making for themselves. She yearned with all her heart that she could change their minds somehow... change Raven's mind to start with. Though as she reflected on her friend, things didn't add up to her. "But... Cyborg, Raven would not take these drugs. She is very proud of her body and her health."

"Well..." Robin offered tentatively, hating to quell a ray of hope, "technically, alcohol is a drug too, and she has been drinking." He looked to Beast Boy for confirmation, and could tell by his downcast expression that it was true beyond doubt.

Starfire gasped, "How terrible!"

"Yeah, well, it's not quite-" Cyborg began, then gave a startled yelp as he found the Tamaranian forcing him against the wall. "Hey! What-?"

"Cyborg, you must promise me that you will never put those vile substances into your body ever again!" she demanded.

"Uhh, Star, look, it's not that big a deal-" he tried to say with a feeble smile, but the girl cut him off.

"I will hear no excuses! Now, make your promise to me!" she ordered stubbornly, her finger in his face.

"Uhh, Star...?"

"Wow..." Beast Boy said in amazement. "Starfire, the one woman drug crusade. Who'da thought?"

Her eyes began to glow green. "It is for your own good! Swear it!"

"Robin," Cyborg squeaked anxiously, "get 'er off me, please?"

"Personally," Beast Boy said smugly, "I think he should _saute_ for a while." Robin couldn't help but laugh at that.

Cyborg glared at the shapeshifter, growling, "Someday, you _really will_ be a grass stain, ya little bas-"

"Promise!" Starfire interrupted, and just in time.

Amidst some much needed laughter, they managed to pry the well-meaning Tamaranian girl off of Cyborg and sort things out. They still had to face the problem at hand, but at least the air was clearer now. "I just can't figure this being much of anything major," Robin said to the others. "I'm sure she would have told us, or at least confided in Starfire. So far, it's just a matter of some frazzled nerves, messed up lunch, and our imaginations running rampant. It's not the end of the world. It could be nothing. Say... boy trouble or something."

"Yeah, but, Raven doesn't date," Cyborg remarked.

"Well..." Starfire began softly, then blinked as she found six pairs of eyes intently locked on her.

"Got somethin' to share with the class?" Beast Boy asked leadingly, waving.

"Well..." she repeated, chewing on a thumbnail.

"Deep subject, heard that already," Cyborg quipped. "So let's get to the bullet points. Is there a guy, _is_ he or is he not dating Raven, and is there a _problem?_"

"Well..."

He slapped his hand across his face, grumbling, as the other two began to look vexed. "Girl, would you _quit sayin'_ that? Now, throw me a bone. What's his name... how old is he... how long has Raven known 'im... what does he do... _somethin'_."

"Well..." she began again.

She dove behind the couch with a squeal of alarm as they exclaimed, "_Just spit it OUT!_"

"_Stab - roughly her age I think - a few weeks - plays the electric guitar and what kind of something do you want!_" she cried.

Cyborg's eyebrow twitched as he muttered, "Remind me to never date an alien girl."

While Starfire stood up haughtily, Beast Boy remarked with dripping sarcasm, "_Stab_... golly, now _that's_ a name you can trust."

"It's a goth nick, Brainiac," Cyborg remarked icily as the teen glared back. "The kids all have these dramatic sounding I.D.s they go by, especially if they're in a band. It's just a game to them, mostly, some kinda spooky alternate life they can use to escape reality."

"Yeah, yeah, it's always good clean fun until someone gets hurt, right?" Beast Boy muttered. "But, isn't a _band guy_ the worst kind?"

"Hey, maybe... not..." Cyborg replied, though the thought of Raven getting tangled up with some goth rocker made him feel uneasy. "I hope."

Beast Boy looked to Robin pensively. "I, uh... hope this doesn't bring us one step back to the mosh pit of doom. Does it?"

"I don't know, but not necessarily," he said, trying to be reassuring, then looked to the girl. "Star, why didn't you ever mention this to us?"

"Weh-" she began, cutting the word short as the others glared at her. "Uhm, I did not think it was something meant to share. It is, as you say... the girl talk."

"But, did Raven ever make you think anything could be wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. Only that she thought Earth boys are... stupid," she began to giggle, then stopped, surprised, as the males gasped loudly with relief.

"I was _so_ scared she was gonna say... _somethin' else_," Beast Boy mumbled, to which the others could only nod uncomfortably, looking very strange.

She was puzzled. "You would rather your kind be thought of as foolish? Than what?"

"_Nothing!_" they blurted out in unison, waving her off, which only left her more curious than ever.

"At least we know _something_, now," Cyborg said quickly, before things could get derailed again. "But is there anything else you can think of that might be buggin' her, Star? Anything at all?"

"Let me see..." she trailed off, looking to the ceiling, then began ticking things off on her fingers. "She regrets that there are no evildoers to combat, that you and Beast Boy argue like children far too much, she laments that wonderfully dreadful new horror novels are difficult to find, she desires fresh, depressing, evil-sounding music for her playlist, she wishes that there would be more stormy weather-"

"Okay okay okay," Cyborg cut in, "we don't need to get down to how she sorts her socks. Besides, that stuff's old news, and no big deal."

"But see? She's just bored, moody and bored, that's all," Beast Boy declared, though he added under his breath, "At least I _hope_ that's all..."

"And when she's in one of her moods, only Starfire can approach her," Robin noted, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you could have that talk with her. It's been almost an hour, maybe she blew off steam by now."

She smiled eagerly, able to do as she originally wanted. "Finally."

"Glad that's settled," Cyborg said as the others made to depart. "I'll put the leftovers away, and then be up to see if I need to grab a fire hose."

"Just don't finish 'em off on the way to the fridge!" Beast Boy called chidingly.

They had to laugh as he shot back, "Kid, don't worry! Even Starfire wouldn't touch that protein pudding on a crust you call pizza."

* * *

><p>After the boys had complained long and loudly of how the girls hogged the restroom, and the girls that they never remembered to lower the seat, fair or not, they had small "water closets" installed in their rooms with a toilet and sink. The leftover pizza stowed in a personal refridgerator, washed and feeling resfreshed physically, but still in a dark, melancholy pit, Raven sat at her computer and began hunting on the internet for dark, depressing music to soothe her, guided by the spidery notes Vulnavia had made. It was quite a list, and involved band names she had never heard of, except perhaps in passing. Cloud Chamber, Apochrypha, Torchwood, Neuromancer, Man-erg, Krypt... it went on and on, in flavors running from gothic alternative and industrial to black metal. And mostly it was a bust. Things she had heard before but not known, tunes that were mildly interesting but not much else, and she was making quite a discard pile of them.<p>

Of course, now it was different. If she had been picky before, now she was ruthlessly critical. Her visit to the club today had spoiled her. That music which enthralled her in its grip of silk and iron was almost impossible to match. And that fact puzzled her, because so much of it was _pop_, and she despized that style with a passion. But the music she had been caught up in was different somehow, in some intangible way _wasn't_ pop. It was on a different level entirely.

One interesting detail about Earth music was that it ran in cycles, repeating styles in slightly altered forms every two decades on the decade, as if on a calendar. The same but different, as if every ten years, western cultures decided to start over and rearrange the musical furniture. And as she went back in time, the better stuff began to show up more often. It was as if, in the constant cycling of themes, something vital had been recycled out, lost along the way, some essential creative fire that she was hunting down in the past. And because it was going to take forever to sample all this music from so many bands, she decided to go to the source, the time before the turning of Earth's Millennium.

This was the cauldron of creative fire she had been seeking. Something had happened back then to shape the minds and spirits of these artists in a unique way. Rather than from an explosion of liquor and drug use, she hoped that it was due to the psychic quantum shift the human race experienced with the onset of a new thousand year age. Regardless, she hit the jackpot, though even this had to be winnowed out.

She thought she would enjoy Marilyn Manson, as he had painted himself up like some gothic version of the Joker, and everything about him seemed twisted in some cool new way. Then she read through the album and song titles, and began having second thoughts, because they were a bit more than the usual faux depravity she was used to in the genre; in fact, many were grossly obscene and disturbing. She made the mistake of clicking on a link to the song "Kiddie Grinder," aiming for something perhaps milder, and immediately regretted it, as the most revolting filth she had ever heard poured into her headphones, a blatant anthem of child molestation and torture, laced with obscenities. Even worse, there was a terrible presence buried under the debaucherous music. Her stomach twisted as she realized it was the screams of people being murdered in the most cruel, languishing, treacherous ways possible.

She yanked off the headphones, slapping her hand across the keyboard to stop it, and stood for a moment, shivering in the grip of mortal dread. "W-what thee hell is... _wrong_ with that jackass!" she stammered. She realized that the music must have been recorded in an abandoned maximum security prison, or the scene of a gruesome massacre, a place tainted with the fear and suffering of unfortunate victims, ghosts giving cry of their horrible fate and caught in the recording. "Doesn't that idiot know what he's getting involved in?" she asked herself, concluding that he didn't, and closed the entire web browser off to start with a fresh, untained one. She chuckled ruefully, "I almost want to check out some of Starfire's music to clear away the bad vibes. Almost..."

She felt better as she went on her chase. Nine Inch Nails caught her fancy, though a surprising span of Trent Reznor's music were a string of remixes, with an occasional new song here and there, or a cover tune of someone else. "Good grief, did he have writer's block, or what?" she lamented, as it did sound very good, wonderfully dark and angry, and almost upbeat compared to the Manson stuff. But the album _Downward Spiral_ had the same disturbing essence in it, and she had to close off the web browser again. "Wow," she muttered with regret, "is this 'treasure trove' really a minefield of people lost in drug abuse and black spiritism?" Still, she felt led to download everything of his, as it was all available for free at his website, though she ordered the entire catalog as well. She wasn't a thief, after all, and had plenty of mad money.

But as she eyed Vulnavia's list, she was drawn to the final entry, with a notation, _Save this for last_. "It's the best music this universe has ever been blessed with," Vulnavia had told her, and after her experience with it at the club, she was inclined to agree. And after all this time spent chasing false or lesser prizes, she decided it was about time to taste the real one, opening her browser search with links to the band The Cure. And her eyes were opened to the strange, wonderful world she yearned for.

The earliest albums were discouraging, almost as if the band had no talent and didn't care, full of aimlessly thrashing guitars and sophomoric lyrics in search of a point. Even worse, it was poorly recorded, as if they had been an honest to goodness garage band back then. But she knew that it was because the driving force of the group, Robert Smith, was searching madly for a musical identity. Searching for who he was inside, where he belonged, much as she was just then. So similar, so very alike, so supremely out of place, like twin vagabonds.

She began skipping around, sampling the lush, trippy, psychadelic tone poems, the bittersweet pop songs, the loud, angry, morbid rock... so many styles, so surprisingly many personnae, all coming from one insecure, troubled soul, wallowing in every drastic, intense emotion he could wring from his heart and throw into his music. Above all else, this is what entranced her; the happy, mornful, tortured contradiction of a man lamenting through his lyrics of his inner turmoil, openly and endlessly to the universe, even when the music was drenched in cotton-candy sweetness.

She wanted to feel the same way she had at The Sepulchre today, eyeing the last album with a little note beside it, and emphasized, _Very last_. It was _Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me_, and from browsing lyrics, could tell that a few of the songs had indeed been the ones playing over the speakers at the club. She wanted to really experience it, and turned on the stereo that Cyborg bought for her as a reward for helping to rebuild his car numerous times. It had to be loud, so she pushed the volume knob to a level Beast Boy normally used, and sat on the edge of her bed expectantly.

At first, she was going to skip the first song, "The Kiss," as Smith's arrangements were much too like his random personality, reflected in the sometimes indiscriminate and misplaced elements he would blend together in his music. This time, a rather cheerful harmonica playing over an odd synth bass and reverberant, banging drum hits. But she decided to give it a chance, and then the guitars began to play, if you could even use that term for how they behaved.

Starfire slowed in her approach to Raven's bedroom, as the hallway was reverberating to muffled rock music leaking past the metallic walls and the sealed door, and looked to her friends coming up from behind in disappointment. "Uhm... she is listening to the-"

"Uh, yeah, we can tell," Cyborg informed her with a thin smile. "It kinda carries. Guess she's still in some kinda funk. Good thing the walls here are halfway soundproofed."

"No kidding, she's really hammerin' it," Beast Boy remarked, listening at the door. "Sounds kinda interesting... not like her usual one-girl death metal rave." But at the same time, there seemed to be something unusual about it. Starfire was aware of it even more so, and edged closer to the door, wishing she could pass through as her friend could, and drag her away for some well meant heart-to-heart girl talk.

Robin was just as disappointed, but shrugged resignedly. "Well... let's leave her alone then. You know how she hates having her music interrupted, and this could go on the rest of the night. We'll check in on her later." He turned to go with the others and began to speak to the Tamaranian girl, but noticed that she was still at Raven's door, touching it with her hand. "Star?" She turned abruptly to face him, startled, causing him to frown. "Is... something the matter?"

She looked to the door again pensively, but then gave Robin a little smile. "No... I am just discouraged, that is all. It must be a good sign that she is listening to less evil music tonight. Let us go." Still, as they wandered back to join the others, she felt like she was doing the wrong thing, leaving her friend alone, unable to take her eyes from the door until it was out of sight.

Raven shivered as the guitars roared at her with ever more ferocious notes, as if he was slashing at the strings in some emotional fit, dancing around a thick bass which throbbed deep into her belly. Louder, filtered with wah pedals, angrier, more desperate, frantically reaching for some kind of escape. More guitars, layers of ear-piercing fury aimed right at her heart, which lay bare and weak before the onslaught from the stereo, which now seemed more like a gothic shrine. Synthesizers joined in, making the whole roaring mass sound like a war between Heaven and Hell. The guitar notes climbed higher in pitch, beginning to shriek, pushing her down onto the bed, prone, vulnerable, as they encircled her throat like fingers wanting to strangle. His voice cried out, finally; wild, deranged and hungry, and she gasped for breath as if he had punched her in the gut, the words stabbing into her soul. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth in welcome to this wonderfully demented intruder.

_Oh kiss me kiss me kiss me!  
><em>_Your tongue is like poison  
><em>_So swollen it fills up my mouth!  
><em>_  
>Just just love me love me love me!<br>__You nail me to the floor  
><em>_And push my guts all inside out_

_Get it out get it out GET IT OUT!  
><em>_Get your f***ing voice  
><em>_Out of my head!_

_Oh, I never wanted this!  
><em>_I never wanted any of this!  
><em>_I wish you were dead!  
><em>_I wish you were DEAD!_

It seemed that the abuse would never relent, but finally it concluded with an almost hysterical crescendo, his guitar wailing as it struggled to overwhelm a roaring pipe organ, the two instruments falling into a reverberant oblivion together.

She clenched the blanket in her fists, trembling, her heart hammering in her bosom, straining to resist, yearning to surrender, feeling torn and confused, so alive and afraid and wounded and things she couldn't define. Love, and hate, colliding and unleashed on her so savagely, like a lit mach and gasoline, like a stake through her tender heart... she couldn't fathom it, why he felt that way towards her, which one was more true, how to appease him. 'What do I do?' she wondered anxiously.

Then she came to her senses, realized what foolish notions she was thinking, and sank into the bed weakly. "Ohhh... migod," she wheezed, panting for breath, and shivering from sweat and emotions still running wild through her. Somehow, it wasn't just a thrill, not just an experience, but another world, a new level of reality she had been hoping to find all this time. It felt as if she'd nearly had the life wrung from her body, much as she'd experienced in past battles with some evildoer or other when things looked grim. And she craved more. "That... was _so_ intense - oh, _hell no!_"

The next song began playing, and it took one note to tell that it was another of Robert's sickly-sweet pop melodies, a peppy, queasy, out of tune violin playing over soft guitar, drums and bass. And she was damned well not going to hear it right now. She flung herself at the computer and scrambled to tab to the next song, hoping it was more of his sweet torture. Her eyes opened wide in amazement at the coincidental title, "Torture." She thought briefly of turning it down, as her ears were ringing, but she had no chance.

The guitar pounced her with a cry of strummed notes, drums blasting her back. She stumbled into the bed, falling across it, and was pressed down even harder by a dire synth bass. And all the while, Robert's guitars wove spidery clouds of sound around her, layer upon layer of sweet, distorted, treacherous noise like cobwebs, binding her to the bed as he seemed to lean close over her. The bass began playing a hypnotic, driving melody which invaded her navel, tickling and tender, as the guitars continued dancing around her, weaving strand after strand of wonderful, imprisoning, poisonous silk. She clutched her stomach, pulled on the belt around her middle that seemed to bind her to the man as the music penetrated her deeply. Tighter, more tightly... please, _sing to me, cry to me... wrap me up in you_...

_I'm in the room without a light  
><em>_The room without a view  
><em>_I'm here for one more treacherous night  
><em>_Another night with you_

_It tortures me to move my hands  
><em>_To try to move at all  
><em>_And pulled  
><em>_My skin so tight it screams  
><em>_And screams and screams  
><em>_And pulls some more_

_Hanging like this  
><em>_Like a vampire bat  
><em>_Hanging like this  
><em>_Hanging on your back  
><em>_I'm helpless I'm helpless again  
><em>_I'm helpless again_

The guitar played over her lustily, as if an instrument of Robert's desire, and she shivered as she could feel it coming close, like an extension of his body. The end of it stroked between her breasts, along the curve of her belly, circling her navel, as if dissecting her, opening up her flesh so he could invade more deeply. All she could do was reach up to stroke it and lie there in submission, waiting, begging for more of his sadistic loveplay.

_My body is cut and broken  
><em>_It's shattered and sore  
><em>_My body is cut wide open  
><em>_I can't stand anymore_

_It tortures me to move my hands  
><em>_To try to move at all  
><em>_And pulled  
><em>_My skin so tight it screams  
><em>_And screams and screams  
><em>_And screams for more_

_Hanging like this  
><em>_Like a vampire bat  
><em>_Hanging like this  
><em>_Hanging on your back  
><em>_Oh it's torture  
><em>_And I'm almost there  
><em>_It's torture  
><em>_But I'm almost THERE!_

She didn't know how much of this emotional abuse she could stand, wanting to run away and hide, wanting to give into this torturous vampire lover and let him drink her empty, then lick the hollow shell dry, keeping her husk as a fond, special token, a curio... anything, just so she could remain with him forever.

Trumpets burst forth in an annoying ska-like fanfare, as if some mariachi band had barged into the room and refused to yield, and she reached upwards angrily to sweep them away. But no, Robert had chosen them deliberately, and she would submit to his choice, just as she surrendered to the ropes which encircled her wrists and bound her painfully, pulling her up, stretching her skin tender, arching her back, thrusting her enchained belly upwards in supplication. She reached up hard, desperate to touch, to be touched, deeply. Don't stop, please, oh please, _ever... I'm almost there..._

But despite her fervent wish, the song finally blared its last, the sound of strings hanging in a cloudy reverb which withered away into the darkness. She was drenched with sweat, running down her cheeks like tears, quivering, desperately wanting... something. She wanted the song to never stop, wanted to thrash some villain senseless, wanted another drink, wanted... _him_, badly. She rolled over on her belly and squirmed, feeling yummy, feeling hungry, feeling exhausted, mixed up, lonely and regretful as the next song began to play, some soft, somber cloud of sound with the typical layers of Robert's guitar, and sitar ringing through it to give it substance and direction. She curled her fingers to her mouth, nibbling on the knuckle as she fretted, "Why do they have to end? If only... they could go on forever... if only I could know... _him_..."

Her body stiffened as something came from behind... some _one_. A _certain_ someone. He whispered in a British accent with a sultry husk in her ear, "Who says you _can't_, dark angel?" She couldn't believe it, couldn't react, could scarcely move as he lay along her, pressing himself into her back and her bottom, sliding his leg along hers, slipping his arms beneath her to wrap her up tight.

She lifted slightly to help him, aching to comply with his desires, his whims, his demands, whatever he wanted of her. Then terror gripped her like a vapire's kiss as she realized just how tragically, horribly wrong this was, as he brushed her hair back with his cheek, his tongue sliding along her neck, his breath becoming like the panting of a predator. If his arms closed that circle around her... _it was all over!_

"Hanging like this, like a vampire bat," he whispered like Death himself. "Hanging like this, hanging from your neck." The fangs, _they were almost there_...

Her heart seized in her chest as her body refused to move. She tried frantically to fight, to claw, to bite, to scream... _anything_, just so the spell would be broken! He seized her wrists with insanely strong hands, pinning her face-down easily, saying in a voice with the terrible calm of a madman, "Why so _serious_, dear?"

She finally did scream through an unwilling throat, drawing up all of her essence and blasting it outward from her, hoping to drive the invader away, as far from her as possible, so she could have a chance to collect herself and muster up a defense, but he threw her down to the floor, hard. She landed flat on her back with a breath-stealing jolt, her head throbbing from the blow against the unyielding carpet, but she had the presence of mind to lift herself into the air, trying to find him amidst a clatter coming from all around. But all she could see were her belongings toppling onto the floor in the dimness of her room. "_What?_ What the hell... _who's here!_" she demanded, and when no response came, she began intoning the incantation which focused her will, blackness wafting around her like ebony flame. "Azarath, Metrion, _Zynthos!_"

The black force enveloped the room, covering everything, but even before it conveyed the truth, she guessed what it was. She drew the darkness back into herself, muttering, "Good grief... I was only dreaming, and blasted my room like a scared little girl." There was a lingering essence of _something_, but after all the wild, emotion driven music she had poured into the room, that should be no surprise. A good deal of it was likely just from her, and the dream-lover her desires had conjured up. "If only it hadn't turned into a nightmare," she lamented, "instead of... love." Feeling almost desperate, she needed the warmth of his embrace, and more. Then she gasped, "Oh no... _the stereo!_"

The small tower speakers had been knocked over, and the stereo itself was dark and sitting half off its stand, but fortunately when she reset the power, it came back on without a hitch. _Un-_fortunately, the veneer on the speakers were chipped where they had struck the wall, corners broken, and she hated what she had done to her gift from Cyborg. She prided herself on keeping her things in perfect condition, especially tokens given to her by her friends, and this one was particularly expensive. "He's going to kill me," she fretted guiltily, but no, that wasn't true. No one there blamed her for anything. "Well... then I'll blame myself."

Sweeping around the room once more with her dark powers, she righted the pottery, set up the totems, reseated the candles and lamps, collected and sorted her books, repositioned the furniture, remade the bed, and placed her few cosmetics where they belonged. "Unfortunately, there's no replacement for a good vacuum," she sighed to herself, but she didn't want to deal with anything requiring real effort right then, and flopped on the bed she'd just fixed, arms outstretched like a victim of crucifiction. Her eyes stared at the ceiling blankly.

"I want more."

Much more. She realized that she had become addicted after just a few songs. Thinking rationally, she couldn't fathom the hunger she had for The Cure, and especially the dark, twisted, tragically beautiful lead singer. She liked harder, darker stuff; gothic rock, industrial, metal. Any other similar group would most likely have earned her disdain within seconds. But somehow, Robert Smith - _Robert_ - reached inside and grasped her soul with a gentle, demented, vengeful fist.

It struck her that she had become one of those idiot girls she hated, who idolized some rock star and focused all their attention on them in endless adoration. But at that moment, she didn't care. He knew The Darkness too. Wrestled with it, fought it tooth and nail, succumbed to it, seranaded it, loved it. He _knew_, like no one else, uniquely. She wanted to fill up her computer, her mp5 player, her stereo, her life, with his music, his presence... with him. To never be apart from him.

"I... want... _more_," she whispered, simply because she didn't have the strength to do much more just then than want him. But she did have enough strength to get up and reboot the computer, and take up where she left off, because his music was all she had of him.

As she stood, though, she became aware that she was shivering, her leotard damp with perspiration and hormones. "Ugh," she grumbled in distaste, beginning to undress. "Maybe... after a shower..."

Starfire had managed to excuse herself from the others, and had been orbiting Raven's chamber as she paced nervously through the surrounding corridors. Something about the music rumbling through the walls of her room unsettled her, and she felt more disturbed the more it played. But to her surprise, it ended just then, and she danced happily to the door, beginning to knock, though something stopped her. "Perhaps she is simply changing the compact discs, or loading more of the five empees. Or switching to her headphones."

She looked down sadly, as she wanted very much to pry under that very thick armor the otherworldly friend hid behind, as this time, the problems manifesting were quite serious. Intruding at the wrong time could be disasterous, though, with a personality as volatile as Raven's. On the other hand, _not_ indruding could be just as tragic. Then just as she was working up the nerve to knock, the door slid open without warning, and behind it was Raven in her bathrobe, which essentially looked the same as her cloak.

For the briefest of instants, she looked bored or sleepy, but seeing the cheerful if surprised face of he alien girl, just inches away, was much to great a shock, and she squeaked in alarm.

"Greetings, Ray-!" Starfire began, cut off abruptly as the door slammed in her face. "Ven?" she finished in befuddlement, unsure of what to do for a moment, then went ahead and knocked. "Raven? I simply wish to talk with you in this brief pause between evil, violent songs. Please?"

"_Ohhh_... that girl is relentless," the mystic groaned, holding her ringing head in one hand as she leaned against the door, her bath things cradled in the other arm. Realizing that she was never going to get past her without having to speak, she enveloped herself in darkness and sank into the floor.

"Raven?" Starfire called insistently. "I simply wish to have a moment of the girl talk with you. _Please?_ I feel that it is important..." Her voice traled away as there was still no response, or hint of any sound from within. "I must have offended you," she murmured sadly, beginning to walk away. "I am sorry. I will leave you _to your bath, now_," she called, sure that it was loud enough to be heard, disheartened that she was being pushed away, when all she wanted to do was lift her friend's spirits.

She paused as she neared the bathroom, as there was the sound of running water, and realized that Raven had slipped through the seams of reality to avoid her. None of her speech had touched the girl's ears. She placed her hand on the door and reached out with her spirit, murmuring, "Be well this night, my friend, and know that only the affection I feel towards Robin is more dear to me." Her hand slipped from the surface of the door as she wandered somberly to her room.

Raven was unable to stop the tear that beaded on her eyelid, then trailed down her cheek. She lay back in the frothy, warm bath, feeling the need to soak, unsure if she had ever felt more desolate. She hated pushing her friend away, but right then, she wanted the companionship of only one being. She wished with all her heart that Robert was in the tub with her, holding her tightly in his arms as they shared in their own personal gloom, and then each other.

In the silence of the bathroom, she also wished that she could listen to his music, and those magical guitars he played, as she couldn't remember anything clearly. Something about the instrument stuck in her mind, and nagged at her. 'What is it... what's bothering me? Guitars? What... a show, a band, a concert on the radio, cable or the net-?'

She remembered suddenly, and thrashed in sloshing reaction. "Oh crap... _Stab_ is playing tonight!" Water splashed out of the tub as she scrambled to rub herself clean in a two minute bath, and dunked her hair to give it a brief wash. But as she stood to grab a towel, she paused. 'Do I even want to go anymore? Is anything else worth listening to, after finding Robert?' She growled to herself as she began to towel away the suds and moisture from her skin, "Ohh... quit being such a fixated airhead fangirl, Raven! You know better than that!" Inwardly, she had to admit that, right then, she didn't know better at all. But the image of Stab came to mind, dragging along a few fond memories. Unlike Robert, he was there. He could talk. He did have half a brain. When he wasn't trying to fondle her, his hands and spirit were gentle.

* * *

><p>The atmosphere outside The Sepulchre was thick with the expectant energy of the mob trying to pour into the entrance politely, as well as the stench of marijuana, and made more intense with appropriately dark alternative music. Raven felt more mixed up than ever as she shuffled along with the crowd, cringing at the attention from them all. They gave her quite a wide berth, an empty circle of more than a dozen feet around her. But their eyes stared at her painfully, invasively, as if they all wanted to strip her naked while still trying vainly to appear respectful and aloof about it, and all the while, their whispers and gossip scratched at her heart like a swarm of rats. It was heavy, oppressive, suffocating. So much of this world seemed to be a gross, stupid, fake contradiction, and she almost left. But the only other place she wanted to be was at <em>his side<em>, and that wasn't possible.

She had half a mind to drive the mob away, to be alone with Stab and the band in a private performance, but that was an empty wish. Besides, Vulnavia and Claw needed the money, even as they never turned away anyone who couldn't afford the full admission price. They were such a strange couple.

Her bubble free of the mob finally reached the door, and she drifted forward demurely, reaching under her cloak for her money, grabbing a handful and giving it to the roughly decorated, well-muscled bouncer, way more than needed for the cover. "Hey, Hammer," she said to him with a thin smile, as she liked him; in fact, liked most of the people there. Vulnavia attracted some of the better folk in the goth world to her establishment. Yet, strangely, she still felt so very out of place among them.

"Hey, Rave," he grinned to her, nodding inside. "_He_ was hopin' you'd be here earlier."

"Uhm... yeah, sorry," she murmured regretfully, as if the bouncer shared in the disappointment, floating inside the sunken club, and into the weird microcosm which clashed with her spirit as much as ever.

"Wow... she's in a mood tonight," he remarked to himself wonderingly. He put his hands up to stop the kids behind from following hot on her heels, even though they had their money out, and held them at bay until she was well inside to give her some breathing space.

As always, Vulnavia was there to greet her, saying in a quiet voice which could still be heard clearly over the muted pre-show chaos, "Welcome, Raven. I have a seat in the usual place for you."

For some reason, she felt the burning need for a hug from the unearthly blue woman. Even though she sometimes drove Raven up the wall with her attitude and behavior, she was perhaps the closest thing to a kindred spirit she had found yet, and needed the reassurance that there was someone else in this universe, someone besides Robert, who shared her peculiar, dark nature. Instead, she clung to her angst tight, giving her thanks to the woman meekly as she trailed behind.

It was the usual small table, just big enough for two, all the way in the back and on a raised level so the band could be seen clearly, past the mob of ravers who always crowded the stage. The show was still some time off though, and Hangman's instruments stood idle on the stage, guitars, keyboards and basses on stands, and the tall, brooding amplifiers behind them with their red lights, some blinking, some staring, idle in expectation of their chance to roar out in anger at the crowd. "Would you like something?" Vulnavia asked, as if she already knew.

Which she did; she felt ravenous for something to drink, to soften the sharp edges of the strange world she was trapped in, walling it off in a protective blur, even though the buzz from the drink that afternoon had never quite faded. "Uh... sure. Could I get a refill of what I had earlier? Maybe two?"

"Careful, Raven," she said in an almost motherly tone, "you are young and inexperienced at this game of tonics." Still, she wound her way to the bar as she was asked.

"Good grief... who are _you_ calling young, you... twenty-something know-it-all!" she grumbled to herself as she rested her legs in the other seat and crossed them, to stake out her space. It was highly unlikely that anyone would intrude, but she felt strangely insecure.

And more so as she waited. She realized that a group of boys with one girl had flocked to a table one down from her, and all were eying her like black-clad jackals. She flipped her violet-blue cloak over her legs with a snap, growling irritably, "May I _help you?_" They nearly fell out of their wrought iron chairs in a flurry of appologies, trying to face the other way without still glimpsing her too obviously. It was becoming hard to enjoy the night as the feelings of alienation grew stronger. All these disparate, needlessly self-flagellated souls, hopped up on liquor or drugs, or both, flooded the place with contrary, irritating emanations, even as something seemingly struggled to rein in the gale of energies. It intensified the strange feelings conveyed by the music played over the sound system, and it was growing difficult to tell if she liked any of it or not. She began, trying to center and calm herself, "Relax, Rav-"

"Relax, Raven," Vulnavia said in time with her, setting two Bloody Marys before her on coasters. "You are perfectly safe here. No one will lift a finger towards you." She gave the girl a sphynx-like smile. "Not since that first night here."

When she had first stumbled into the club, a few guys had pounced her like brainless twits and pressed her to the wall. The next thing they knew, they were sprawled against the wall opposite, gaping in horror at the wraith drenched in black fire they had foolishly offended. They ran for their lives, and she had never seen them again. "Yeah, that was..." she chuckled at the memory, then stared at the blue ghost as she wandered away, her voice fading in amazement. "_Some night_." Had she just _smiled_ to her? As she bloodied her drinks and drew on the first one, she reflected to herself, "Wow, the cool people really do just make up and break the rules as they go along."

She blinked in shock as she lost the ability to see, and hear, but before she overreacted, she caught the noise of expectation from the crowd. The lights had simply dimmed, the background music stopped as the band prepared to play, and she could hear distant footsteps from the stage. "_Robert-!_" she gasped out before she could choke back the name, shaking her head at herself in dismay. "I have _got_ to get a handle on my emotions," she muttered, then caught her breath as she heard the sound of fingers on guitar strings, and a faint but growing hum. She could sense something very different in the air tonight, and not just from her inner turmoil. In some way, this would be a special performance.

Piano notes stabbed out in the darkness, as if from a battered old spinet abused by too many hammerfisted players, and mauled by Harm, the keyboardist, as if he intended to finish the job. Lights blazed out at them with the blasting of guitars, bass and drums crashing, blinding her, half deafening them all. With the screaming guitars by Stab, Shred and a third player, was deep, grinding bass thumped out by Fist, ringing out with long, angry notes, demanding their undivided adoration, punctured with the bang of drum and cymbal from Pulse. Again, and again, like deafening hammerblows to beat them into submission, they attacked their instruments in a single savage thrust, as if in sacrifice. Pulse's drums pounded maniacally as the song took shape and roared forth like one of her apparitions, tearing through the helpless crowd in a tsunami of unbridled, ear-splitting noise.

She thoughtlessly gulped down her drink like a lifesaving elixor, then the other, choking on the noxious fluids. 'I have to be close... in the middle of this!' she thought excitedly as she bolted for the core of this raw, untamed storm of emotion. She struggled past the kids and adults writhing to the gothic hell blaring around them, fought to be at the stage to watch this maniac who had kept himself hidden all this time, choosing tonight to rise like a devil from a sealed tomb.

Stab had never looked so hot, wearing a snug longsleeved pullover with the lower half ripped away, revealing his tight, flat belly. Nor had he ever sounded this good, or the band. His eyes were lined thick and black, his face pale from powder, and his lips made to look cracked and split, with a tear of blood at one corner, like the Crow. His hair poured down from his head in all directions, wild and black. Over arcane symbols scattered across his shirt were the words _WHO AM I?_ And in that instant, she honestly couldn't say. He threw himself at the microphone, and along with Fist, began shrieking demented lyrics that seized her heart in a grip of red-hot iron. She couldn't breathe, having never heard anything like this in all her days, save from her beloved Robert, and drank in the delicious, insane fury blasting from the speakers.

_When I was a child they made me read  
><em>_Knife-words which quiver and squirm  
><em>_Now in the stumbling dark I see  
><em>_I am a worm!_

_All things secret shall be mine alone  
><em>_My lover, my TWIN!_

_Night casts ominous readings  
><em>_On the sanity of my soul  
><em>_I feel devilish leanings  
><em>_I'm beginning to LOSE control!  
><em>_And the vortex then  
><em>_  
>Sucks me IN!<br>__Steeped in SIN I DIE!  
><em>_but am reborn_

She threw herself against the stage at last, gripping the edge as if dangling from an alter to this incredible band, and hauled herself upright, almost panting from the thrill of being so close. Perhaps a bit too close; the sound was deafening. She fought to push away the wildly thrashing fans which seemed intent on pummeling back the unwelcome intruder. But then they saw who it was, and backed away in a definite circle they knew better than to cross, even though to her, they all ceased to exist. Only Stab and his band remained. She tore some tissue from a pouch and stuffed them in her ears to take the shrill edge off the racket. But suddenly, something felt very wrong. Her stomach twisted as the lyrics turned dire, in a way that was painfully close to dreadful memories of too few years ago, in which she played the catalyst. She shrunk down against the stage as Stab began crying out a prophecy of doom.

_I will to see the cosmos slip  
><em>_Planets and moons collide!  
><em>_Feel gravity lose its grip  
><em>_All hope is DENIED!_

_All of the dead husks are shattered!  
><em>_My people, my WORLD!  
><em>_  
>Ripped apart in the Devil's feast<br>__It's all sewage blown out and lost!  
><em>_Now I am breaking the rule of Time  
><em>_Although I cannot fathom the cost!  
><em>_It may be catastrophe!  
><em>_  
>When I cross that line!<br>__I know that I will FIND MY SELF!  
><em>_or maybe you_

Her stomach lurched as the music abruptly stopped. The band began intoning in a disturbing, macabre, primal choir, their faces uplifted, eyes closed in some dreadful ecstacy, as if heralding some insane god of Apocalypse. Her legs buckled from fear and she fell to squat before them, shivering, her teeth chattering as she hugged herself, struggling to withstand the forces encircling, attacking her like the Devil's own unspeakable curse. She was gripped in genuine mortal terror, afraid in this moment that the entire universe itself would come collapsing in on them if they completed their suicidal spell. 'If only he would look at me!' she wailed silently as they began their twisted invocation, chanting like insane children. '_Stop!_'

_I am a man from the country of  
><em>_Destruction  
><em>_I am a man a woman and a _god  
><em>I am my own weapon of<br>__Annihilation  
><em>_and will one day cut through the secret  
><em>_NAUGHT!_

She cried out, squeezing her eyes shut as they savaged her with their music again, starting over, as if that whole terrible ordeal had been a cruel joke. A part of her wanted to flee, save her ringing ears from the deafening abuse, from the dreadful lyrics, from anything else they might unleash on her to drive her to her knees again. But she couldn't leave now, even though the music stung like a poison. She pulled herself up as the world began to spin around in a moment of vertigo and nausea, as if the universe really was coming unhinged around her. She stood her ground to gape open mouthed at the boy who had shed his unassuming human skin, and revealed his true, demonic nature so terribly. So wonderfully, with black eyeliner and lips cracked and bleeding, like a dead Egyptian prince. Her eyes locked in Stab's, and he finally acknowledged her, pouring himself directly into her soul with the acerbic burn of kerosene. So dark inside... so horribly, incredibly,_ beautifully dark_...

_Feed me your life-blood and watch me rise  
><em>_Lick the pain crying on your knife!  
><em>_If you let me I can terrorize  
><em>_Your entire waste of a life!_

_It's all preordained anyway  
><em>_My savior, my HELL!_

_Scythe in hand, tear apart the sky!  
><em>_Run headlong over the edge!  
><em>_On down together into our doomsday!  
><em>_There is no saving ledge!  
><em>_Only Apocalypse_

_Kneel to your FATE!  
><em>_Lost in a blaze of GLO-RIEE!_

_Some day I'll find the answer!  
><em>_The seals will then be broken!  
><em>_All promises defiled!  
><em>_Some day I'll  
><em>_End this mad HIS-STORY!_

Stab banged the strings of his guitar mercilessly as they brought the song to a horrific climax of universe-rending despair. Pulse smashed his drumkit so hard that one of the cymbals toppled from its stand. Slab dropped to his knees and fell over backwards, the guitar slipping from his senseless fingers to howl away with loud, wild, unstoppable feedback.

The crowd lost it and began throwing themselves at the stage, screaming madly. Completely ignored by them, Raven found herself buried under the mass of flailing youth. She was screaming herself, in tears, unable to comprehend why they rejoiced at this horror. She fought to stretch out her hand further than the others, to reach him, to save him, this dark bard avatar, to save herself and their world, but the gulf between was just too great. "Stab, for space sakes... wake up! Come back to me! Not them... _ME!_"

He finally seemed to hear her desolate cry and roused himself, blinking and smiling at the roar of adoration from the crowd as he grabbed his guitar by the neck, squelching the feedback howl, as if it was some demonic beast he controlled utterly. Then he caught sight of her; the gray, ghostly, hooded face gaping at him in the grip of despair as if begging for rescue, reaching for him, smothered by the hoard of flailing, screaming fans.

He knelt down to cup her face in his hand, warmly caressing the cheek as the mob reluctantly withdrew. A spark of energy stung them both, but they scarcely noticed, nor the sighs, moans and curses of the frustrated, rejected girls all around them. She clutched his hand fiercely, crying as she fought to recover. Her body struggled with the potent emotional elixor of adrenaline, hormones and vodka raging in her blood, trying to come down but unable to make it. He knew what was in her heart and told her quietly, "I have a show to do... I have to keep playing."

Part of her withered, hoping he would say that he wanted to run off somewhere and talk, or... whatever. She felt almost as vulnerable and compliant as she had in that bizarre dream of the vampyric intruder. But the rest of her had more sense, and was almost panting for more of this sweet torture anyway, of savage, primordial darkness brought to life through the music, and she nodded, releasing her grip as she came to her senses, mostly. "I want to hear more... a _lot_ more. Maybe..." She held up a narrowing thumb and finger with a thin smile. "Just a little less creepy this time."

He gave her a smile slightly less thin, kissing the polished blood-black crystal on the back of her hand. "Whatever you want."

She shivered as she drew her hand back, brushing her fingers across the stone lightly, savoring the lingering press of his false cracked lips. "Uhm... you know any _Cure?_" she asked hopefully.

He smiled more widely, telling her, "I _might_ have something for you, there."

She grinned like a silly school girl as he rose, becoming aware again of the cries ringing through the expanse of the club, and the outstretched arms of the fans pressing against her once more. Blackness rose around her in warning, and the groupies backed away to the unseen but proscribed circle around her. "Suck it, fangirls," she growled smugly, "he's mine-" But as she said it, she wasn't all _that_ sure she did have him, or really wanted him, or anything of the sort. "Ohh... _why_ does my life have to be so complicated? And... _spinny_..." she murmured weakly as a wave of dizziness swept over her. It struck her in a faint memory that she had gulped down not one but _two_ strong drinks a few minutes ago, and mumbled, "Oh, just... hurry up and play, while I'm still here, and don't have a splitting headache, _please_..."

After several attempts to get the mob to quiet down, they finally relented to a dull roar, and Stab said to them, "As you know, Vulnavia is the caretaker of a musical graveyeard of forgotten but killer bands. We have some of our own stuff we've written, but we wanted to share a few tracks which are special to us, and some personal requests. That first song was 'Tapeworm' by an old British gent named Peter Hammill I'm fond of," he said in a thick English accent, inspiring a few laughs. "This one is called 'Snakepit,' by The Cure." Whether they knew the song and group or not, the entire club roared in anticipation.

Raven was practically ill with excitement as the chamber was drenched in blue and violet lights from the stage. The new guitar player grabbed a bass of his own, the two bassists going to opposite ends of the stage as Pulse tapped out a few slow drum hits to set the tempo. Stab stroked out swirling, ringing guitar chords, as the two bassists began trading notes, a slow slide from one, finger taps from the other, swimming in a strange, rich chorus effect themselves. Like a pendulum, the two parts swung back and forth across the room as Stab wove in magical guitar lines in a trippy, etherial cloud, following a strange Middle Eastern scale. Shred joined in, finding harmonies in-between, and Harm had strapped on a guitar also, and was playing yet another layer of sound, slightly out of tune, as much of Robert's playing was, and it all echoed as if ringing into an unfathomably deep void.

Raven blinked in confusion as the disorienting wash of gentle but twisted melody wasn't what she was expecting at all, and she felt as if the world was tipping to and fro in time with the tenuous, floating music. She had to grab the edge of the stage to keep her balance as the floor wouldn't steady itself, and it felt like a fog of pot smoke in her soul. No, it _was_ pot, as it seemed that everyone in the place had lit up, and the room began filling with the heavy, pungent stink. Harm began piping on a flute in a strange lilting, reverberant whine, as Stab began singing in a distant, haunting, heavily echoed voice, slurring his lyrics badly as if he were almost stoned out of his skull. But at the same time, those black-rimmed eyes pierced her through in a hungry gaze, as uncomfortable and invasive as any she had endured that night.

_Well we're a mile under the ground  
><em>_And I'm thinking that it's Christmas  
><em>_And I'm kissing you hard  
><em>_Like I've got very important business_

_And no-one knows, and no-one sees us  
><em>_Because they're drinking themselves senseless  
><em>_And I'm writhing  
><em>_And I'm writhing  
><em>_And I'm writhing in the snakepit_

She gaped in shock as Robert... no, _Stab_ touched a control on his guitar and began playing synthesizer sound... _backwards?_ No, it was Time itself, running the wrong way! How had this happened, that she would slip in-between moments and wind up on the other side of the clock face? Had Stab dropped a monstrous hint of the power he weilded in that bizarre song before? She found herself in the center of the crowd which encircled her, eying her strangely, either with veneration or lust... most likely both. She tried to speak, but it seemed that her words fell right back into her throat as time continued to unwind. And all the while, the crowd around her began dancing in a hypnotic, snakelike shuffle, their arms waving at her sinuously, as if stealing her energy for themselves, and blowing noxious smoke at her.

"Stop it," she moaned anxiously. "What's going on? How do I get back! Help me..." Robert seemed uninterested in her plight. In fact, he gazed at her even more ravenously, the spidery backwards synth parts growing more intense, as if pushing her even further back in time, and away from the portal she had fallen through, sealing her fate. She gasped as she pushed through the dancers and fell heavily against the stage, which tilted like the deck of the Titanic. "I'm lost... and no one cares. How will I ever find my way back home? Robert, _please_..." she begged, reaching out for him. Her hand touched the edge of small monitor speakers the band used to hear each other, and it shocked her hard. She nearly lost her grip on the stage, flailing to hold on for dear life, as the world seemed ready to turn completely over, and send her falling forever into the sky.

At the recording console that doubled as the club soundboard, Claw stood there, transfixed at the mesmerizing performance, while in the back, Vulnavia languished on a couch, her arms outstretched as if crucified. "My friends... they can't even see me!" she lamented, and was almost ready to give up hope, closing her eyes to offer up a brief prayer to whatever Providence there was for lost, dark souls. "Please," she whimpered, "_save me_..."

She cried out as drums pounded in her ears deafeningly, like a machinegun next to her head, and the world came crashing back into focus with a happy, melancholy, driving guitar and bass line, perfect for dancing. The crowd picked up on the invitation instantly, and began writhing across the floor, led by the music as if the Puppet Master controlled them with his strings. Guitars piled on, louder and thicker and out of tune as always, joined by a wild, exultant saxaphone played by the keyboardist. As she looked around in alarm, wondering what was going on, Robert was there smiling at her, guitar wailing away in his hands, with red painted lips and hair all puffy and wild like an inverted crow's nest... such a strange, wonderful, beautiful man. And then he abruptly yelled at her at the top of his lungs.

_HEY YOU!  
><em>_Yes you-ho-ohh!  
><em>_You the one that looks like Christmas  
><em>_Come over here and kiss me  
><em>_Kiss me!_

_HEY YOU!  
><em>_Yes you-ho-hohh!  
><em>_You the one that looks delirious!  
><em>_Come over here and kiss me  
><em>_Kiss me!_

She wanted him desperately all of a sudden, wanted no other man in time or space. Wanted to climb the stage and drape herself around him like a taudry pornstar trophy and tear his shirt off, baring that rippling chest, take his mouth with hers, drink his tongue deeply and... she didn't know what, and she didn't care. All she knew was that she needed that beautiful, tortured man and his unearthly music to give substance to her being, validate her, and give her life and soul and thoughts to think, as her brain didn't want to work on its own tonight. Deep inside, she knew this was all some kind of fractured mental state she was in, at the mercy of the music to drag her on its demented, lurching rollercoaster of emotions, but that was just fine with her. She couldn't remember ever feeling more alive... or much of anything right then, but nothing else mattered but this sweet, carnal madness.

Well, or a drink. She spotted one half-finished a short distance away on the edge of the stage, and drew it to her using her powers. It wandered a bit, making its way to her, and nearly sailed past, but she managed to catch it, downing whatever it was thirstily...

Something went horribly wrong; his face twisted into something ugly as he thrashed his guitar without mercy, giving a wolfish howl. The other two guitarists began piling on to the orgy of anger, and as they watched, Robert began dancing around the stage dementedly, the music building to a furious crescendo. The noise was becoming painfully loud, ringing her skull like a bell. What had happened, what changed him? And then he began screaming at her, the words painful, punishing, demeaning, cruel and vengeful. "Why... what did I _do!_" she cried, shrinking against the stage in hope of some small shelter against this torrent of spite hurled at her so viciously. But there was no escaping it, or his relentless abuse.

_You're just a waste of time!  
><em>_You're just a babbling face!  
><em>_You're just three sick holes that run like sores!  
><em>_You're a f***ing waste!_

_You're like a slug on a girl!  
><em>_Oh you're useless and ugly!  
><em>_And useless and ugly!  
><em>_And I shiver and shake  
><em>_When I think of how you make me HATE!_

She cringed under that maniacal onslaught as his voice rose to a demented wail, as if her mere presence would set him off in a fit of violence. Blackness began to curl around her as she trembled, hoping that she could hold herself there for just a few more moments, praying that his anger would finally burn itself out, and she could be with him like before. But it only grew worse.

_I want to smash you to pieces!  
><em>_I want to smash you up and screaming!  
><em>_I want to smash you helpless!  
><em>_Down on the floor!  
><em>_Smash you until you're not here anymore!_

Robert and Fist began throwing themselves into each other in a way that made her feel moist and full of desire, but also terrified... her emotions were as unhinged as the fiends on the stage. They were out of their minds, sparring for advantage as they slammed their bodies against each other. As she watched in fear and wonder, Robert toppled him, stomping his boot on the man's chest in victory, leering at him as his fingers scraped madly at his guitar strings, his playing growing ever louder and more demented. She gasped in horror as he threw himself several feet in the air, intending to smash the vanquished foe to a bloody pulp with his instrument of hard, deadly wood. "Robert, for god's sake _NO!_" she screamed in alarm, and angry that it seemed her voice didn't want to work right. But to her amazement, the bassist rolled aside at the last second, and Robert landed deftly, thrashing all the harder on his weapon. She blinked in shock as he jumped to feet again, sharing a laugh with the bass player. The _hell?_

She stared at them in disbelief... it was all a _game?_ What was wrong with them! "Robert... stop it, _please!_" she cried, as she didn't know what was real anymore, whether or not he was sane... whether he was even human! But he wouldn't hear a word she said, winding the band up to a fevered pitch as he screamed into the microphone.

_And I shiver and shake!  
><em>_Oh I shiver and shake!  
><em>_Oh I shiver and shake! Ohhh...  
><em>_SHIVER AND SHAKE!_

She gaped at him in shock as he gave the mike stand a savage sweep kick, and it flew right at her before she could blink. Pain lanced all through her, and it became dark, quiet, and thoughtless...

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Notes<strong>_

****Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos:**** Raven's words of focus, which we all know and use to drive away evil forces threatening us all. Okay... maybe not. I know that the canon spelling of the third word is "Zinthos," but my spelling is how I imagined it originally, and I'm choosing it for my fiction.

****CDs and DVDs:**** the term "compact disc" has lasted since the previous Millenium in which they were born, as has "DVD," though both have grown greatly in capacity. Today's CD (in my fic) is 24-bit and multichannel. The DVD is more properly identified as HDVD, or high-definition video disc, but one less letter makes it easier to say.

**mp5s:** as the years have passed since the dawn of the digital age, mpegs have progressed and been refined numerous times. Now in the fifth generation, mp5s support a number of improvements, such as 24-bit depth multichannel audio, not just stereo, and virtually undetectable compression.

**Peter Hammill:** a musical mad alchemist, his music runs from lilting ballads and keyboard-heavy progressive rock to grinding proto-punk – in fact, he may be a key figure responsible for creating the punk genre, and who sings with a sometimes near-insane ferocity. While much of his music is dark and gothic in tone, he writes some of the most profound and thoughtful music in the rock world. He currently performs with his reformed original band, Van der Graaf Generator.

**The Cure:** heralded as one of the key founders of modern gothic rock, the band, driven by musical savant Robert Smith, is responsible for numerous gold and platinum albums, hit singles, and songs for the film _The Crow_. While Smith tends to do much of his writing during periods of depression, and thus many songs are notably dark and sometimes filled with crushing anger, much of his work is lighter in tone, thoughtful, even fun-loving pop fluff.

**The Sepulchre:** established two years ago by Vulnavia, and subsequently partnered by Claw, this goth club-slash-music hall has become the most well known and regarded in the southwest of America. Its notoriety has grown in no small part because Raven chose it as her sanctuary away from Titan's Tower. Although drugs are sometimes sold there, the traffic is mild compared to other such clubs, and thanks to a relatively crime free reputation, and the help the two owners offer freely to troubled youth, the authorities have discounted them as a potential threat to society. The word "sepulchre" is an old European-style spelling, but adds to the cool factor.

By the way, all the music I involved in this delirious tale is available at several places on the net, such as YouTube, so you can listen to the odd tunes I love which inspired this crazy dreamworld I threw poor Raven headlong into. If you like it, you should buy the CDs, as I have. They do sound much better. I must confess that much of Peter Hammill's 'Tapeworm' were "ad libbed" by my partner in crime, Stephen Strange, to suit my nefarious purposes, perhaps a quarter of it. And on the subject of music...

Lyric exerpts from "The Kiss," "Torture," "How Beautiful You Are," "Hey You!," "One More Time," "Shiver and Shake" and "Fight, Fight, Fight" from the album _Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me_, copyright 1987 - Present by The Cure and Fiction Records

Lyric exerpts from "Tapeworm" from the album _In Camera_, copyright 1974 - Present by Peter Hammill and Sofa Sound Music

And yes, I know I spent _way_ too many pages on this "chapter," but when I tried to condense it, it all fell hopelessly apart, so I left it alone. Get ready, a few chapters will be even longer. Besides, such long stuff will give you so much to digest, and spend so much time with these guys, that you should enjoy a story that for once isn't over in a one hour read. You'll all figure out quickly how much of a detail freak I am, though hopefully in a good way. And if you pay attention, some of it might have meanings in later chapters...


	3. Chapter 2: Love and Riots

A large man stood up in the shadows at the rear of the club as everything ground to a halt, and the crowd mobbed the floor before the stage, either to see if Raven was injured, or to see why everyone else was headed there. "Well... I suppose the show is over now, unfortunately. Although I must admit, that's one hell of a way to end it. Felling Raven when many villains couldn't do it is quite a feat. And if you can sweep that girl off _her_ feet... I might just be able to use you."

**Full Metal Panic**

**Part Two: Love and Riots**

Pain... thin, half-thought notions. Where? Images... a dream... _or was it?_

A band was playing, loud, raucous, incredibly strange music. She was surrounded by people dancing to it, though she could recognize no one. Not even the band, though something about it was very familiar to her. "Wait, I know who it... _it's him!_" she exclaimed, lunging to the front of the stage to see him clearly. She reached for him, but inadvertently pushed the mike stand into him, banging him in the mouth. He glared at her angrily, his lips cracked and bleeding, his eyeliner running with black tears. She tried to appologize, but her own lips felt as if they were sewn shut. He cut her off anyway, yelling invectives and obscenities at her, then gave voice to his hatred in song.

_I want to smash you to pieces!  
><em>_I want to smash you up and screaming!  
><em>_I want to smash you helpless!  
><em>_Down on the floor!  
><em>_Smash you until you're not here anymore!_

He drew back his guitar to do just that. "_NO!_" she cried, throwing her hands up in defense, but she couldn't withstand the blow from the instrument, swung with all the fury of a battle axe. The pain was terrible. She dropped to the floor lifelessly, unable to do anything as the crowd danced all over her like a floormat.

He pushed them aside, anger suddenly becoming sorrow and regret, pouring his heart out to her in a stream of appology and affection. He smashed the stage into the rought shape of a boat, laying her in it, and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. Then, he set off on a grand journey into a dangerous land to save her. Monsters lived there, rising from the ground where they hid, and began unleashing their fury at him as he bore her, stiff as a board, over his head. It became quite funny just then as this strong, proud warrior began crying out like a frightened schoolgirl for help, chased by the fire-wielding demons all around them.

Four imposing figures appeared, looking sleepy and annoyed, demanding her. Sheepishly, he lay her before them, but when they saw her condition, they were outraged. He tried to speak with them, appease them, but they only grew angrier.

_I didn't mean to... it just sort of..._

_Happened?! You idiot! Do that again, and we'll smash you right into the floor!_

_I'm sorry... really sorry-!_

_Just get out! Get out! Get the hell out of here!_

The lad ran as fast as he could back from whence he came. One of them roused the monsters again out of spite, and he ran for his life back to the boat he'd made. She felt very sorry for him, intending to make it up to him later, if she could.

They tried to speak with her, but the pain all through her form welled up again, and all she could do is moan in feeble protest. They relented, and she found herself cradled in thin but very strong arms. Grateful for the peace, she curled up in the darkness, pulling it in around her like a comforting blanket of oblivion, resting her head on their bosom. But her trouble was just beginning.

She found herself stuck in a dense mob of people shrouded in black, wandering aimlessly, and pressing against her from all sides. She could hardly breathe, the air was so thick, and she realized they were all smoking joints, and doing their best to blow smoke into her mouth. She tried to yell at them to leave her alone, but her voice wouldn't respond, her words soft and timid. And then the worst thing possible happened.

One by one, they shed their dark clothing, flinging their robes into the air with a roar like a tidal wave, and underneath were...

Brightly colored garments, dominated by a cheerful, eye-piercing yellow! The sun beamed forth, the land became lush, green and dotted with wildly colored plants. A rainbow spread over them all, butterflies fluttered over happily hopping pastel colored bunnies, and one of them proclamed loudly, "It's time to change from that nasty winter wardrobe _into the new spring fashion line!_"

"Oh flaming black hell _- it's the end of the world!_" she gasped in horror as they began closing in on her, holding up skimpy lemon colored garments that only Starfire would be caught dead wearing. She blinked in astonishment as a small being of some kind, wrapped in robes and turban of gold, like Mas or Menos, scampered up and began babbling excitedly in adoration. "Hey Raven Raven _Raven_ zomygod I am like totally your most devoted fan _ever yadda-yadda-gimmegobbyslobby...!_" It became an unending incoherent blather.

"Oookayy... I'm just going to pretend you're not here and back away-" she began, then gurgled in alarm as it attached itself to her leg, beginning to hump her like a puppy. "Get it off _get it off GET IT OFF!_" she screamed, kicking it into the mob still intent on forcing her into the obscenely cheerful and much too revealing... whatever they were. She bolted, knocking over several of them like bowling pins, but they all promptly began chasing after her.

It struck her that she had dark powers, and sought to manifest them to use against the enthusiastic hoard, beginning to intone, "Hat-rack, Mazeltov, _Sinpost!_" but the words were completely wrong. The blackness wouldn't leave her hands, and instead became shackles around her wrists. "Oh, this is just grea - hey, _stop it!_" she growled, as hands began groping her very rudely. "It had better be _you_," she snarled warningly, still unable to think of her friend's name, "or you are _so dead!_"

She gasped as Robert appeared in a shaft of light before her, that handsome, lovely, tortured man, parting the mob like the waters of the Dead Sea. He held forth his hand, saying to her humbly, "I hope you don't mean to kill me, love."

Those simple words burned deep into her heart. Her stomach did flops as she fell against him, her body melting with urgent desire as his arms closed around her, the shackles of blackness crumbling away. She reached for that smooth, soft cheek framed by a jaw of iron, stroking him lovingly as her eyes burned in his. Such a wonderful contradiction of a man. "Oh, Robert... I-"

She couldn't say more, as he pressed against her, taking her lips in a hungry, savage kiss, his tongue sliding along hers like a serpent, twining deep into her mouth. Her stomach turned to jelly, her whole body limp as he pulled her into him. She could feel every muscle moving against her curves, and one thing more, as her fingers curled into his mop of black hair. She trembled as a tickle ran from her loins to burn all through her with carnal hunger. She couldn't speak, but she thought as hard as she could into his soul, '_Please... don't mess around, just... make me yours. Let me partake of your sweet torture, forever... _please-'

She blinked in surprise as he threw her over his shoulder, grasping her legs tightly, making her shiver from the raw, animal strength in his hold. But rather than taking her to a bed, she was thrown roughly into a seat, a car seat, she realized. And as she looked around the insides in confusion, she saw that it was Cyborg's T-Car. She reached for his hand, but he was already belting up, his eyes shining with delight as he gazed around the gadget-laiden interior. She gaped at him in shock and disappointment. What was wrong with men, that it didn't matter how much they showered their ladies with feigned devotion and romance, all it took was one glimpse of some shiny man-toy for them to drop everything in their adoration of a stupid machine! "Drive, Raven. You know you always wanted to," he told her eagerly.

She shook her head in disbelief. "Wait... no I _didn't!_ Where in hell did you get _that_ idea-!" But before she could even finish, he had pressed the start button, and that instant, she found herself gripping the wheel in wide-eyed fear as it roared through traffic the wrong way. "You maniac, _I can't drive!_" she exclaimed, doing her best not to get everyone killed - everyone, because the other Titans were in the car with them.

"You're doin' great, Ray!" Cyborg shouted. "But go _faster!_" The others joined into a building chorus of "Faster! Faster! _Faster! FASTER!_" The car was more than willing to obey them, hurdling down the road at ever more terrifying speeds. It didn't help that Beast Boy and Starfire were practically screaming on either side of her head, deafening her and giving her a headache, and making it even more of a struggle to avoid the oncoming traffic and crowds of pedestrians. "Are you all _insane?!_" she cried, close to tears. "How do you stop this crazy thing!"

"There is no stopping, now," came a voice of silk and stone beside her. She gasped as she turned to look, afraid she was going to see someone else, and it was, but not who she thought. Instead, it was her Power in the silhouette of a man. Her blood froze in her veins at what it said next: "You _are_ going to kill everyone, at this rate. Look."

A Church loomed in front of her, lofty spires reaching high into a dark heaven. She held on for dear life as the car slammed headlong into the ancient structure. Every beautiful window shattered, the glass clattering around her in dazzling rainbow hues. The immense front doors were smashed from their hinges, old glyphs from a forgotten race embedded in them; a gift, a seal of protection for the Earth, and she had just destroyed it. "Oh, my god," she gasped. "I've done something terrible... how do I mend this!" She picked up a fragment of the door, but winds blew past her, decaying the wood to splinters which were carried off by the breeze. She looked around frantically for her friends, but both they and the wreck of Cyborg's car were gone. "Guys... _anyone?_ I need _help!_" she called, but there was no sign of them. "Robert?!"

"Come in, come in!" came a cheerful voice from inside the Church, and she blinked in disbelief at what she saw. On either side of the sanctuary, rows of tables were laid out with elegant feasts and drinks. To the left were priests and other clergy, dressed in chef's garb and cooking away like mad. To the right were gypsies, witches and magicians, dressed the same, and throwing all manner of ingredients into cauldrons. Both sides were beckoning and calling to her frantically. "Choose, you must choose!"

She gaped in trepidation as the disturbing little yellow clad child-thing was jumping up and down, shouting for attention to the right with the other mystics, and began backing away warily. "Uhm... is it okay if I just grab a pizza? I really don't feel like-"

She was pushed roughly back into the sanctuary by the hoard of youth all dressed in that dreadful yellow, chanting over and over, "Choose! Choose! _Choose!_"

The din grew in volume, afflicting her with a splitting headache and nausea. "Why... what difference does it make! What if I _don't want to!_" A scream died in her throat as a huge tray bearing the roasted body of Beast Boy was laid on the table. But... no; she gasped in relief as it was only a pig, a real one. Or so she prayed...

"Oh, but you _must_," insisted a priest in one side, a fortune teller on the other, speaking in unison. "If you do _not_, then-" Everyone froze, the noise faded instantly to dead silence as a cooking timer dinged.

Her insides clenched in alarm as they all hung their heads in silence. "What... what's wrong?" she asked urgently.

She spotted Vulnavia in the rear, speaking for them all, and she sounded like a court accuser. "You could not hold your liquor. You could not choose a mate. You could not drive a stick - you could not even drive an automatic!"

Raven was ready to pull her hair out, and tried to, much to her regret as her headache seemed to split her skull. "So freaking _what!_ What the hell difference does all that nonsense make in the grand scheme of things!"

The strange woman asked, her eyes beginning to glow, "If you do not know how to handle liquor, or a boy, or a simple machine, how can you possibly know what to do at The End Of _The Grand Scheme Of Things?_ Behold, the hour is come! Time to wake up _and face judgment, dear!_"

She pointed to the high ceiling, and Raven had to duck as it was ripped apart by a horrible tornado. She gaped upwards in confusion as she saw that the whole thing was staged. Curtains of red edged in gold lined the four sides of a huge theater around them all, and hovering above it was Puppet Master. He was holding a pair of his control bars, but instead of marionettes, he manipulated crude figures of stars and planets, intoning morbidly, "It is The End, the curtain call has been sounded. Time for the Grand Finale, so I can collect all my precious toys!"

The Herald appeared in the darkness below all this and sounded his trumpet, though it was a wretched, blatty, embarrassing noise it gave forth. "Yech... that was bad."

"Yes it was!" shouted Puppet Master. "You've ruined my show!" He threw down his grips angrily, but one caught in his hand and pulled him down with it, and then this entire mess trapped The Herald and down he came as well. The Puppet Master began screaming, "No, _no!_ Save me - _don't let me be destroyed too!_"

The whole thing fell in on her, curtains, walls and all, and to her horror, Raven could see clearly that those stars were real, dragging down every planet, moon and asteroid with them, even Space itself, to obliterate everything.

"_NO!_" she wailed, sitting bolt upright, her chest heaving, blood rushing in her ears from the sheer terror of facing Death. Then she saw where she was, the Operations Room, and slumped back down to the couch she was lying on. She squeezed her eyes shut as the glow of morning poured in through the immense plexiglass windows looking out over the bay, light which set her head throbbing. But why did she feel so bad? And that dream! "Oh... my gosh," she wheezed, "that was _so messed up_-" And then she wondered in growing fear why she was there, instead of in her _bedroom?_

Then her stomach clenched tight as she heard Robin ask of the room, "Did you say something?" Her senses were way too slow in waking up! Bacon was frying; he must be helping with breakfast, and the nauseating succulence filled the chamber.

"We _all_ said somethin'," Cyborg replied, though he added with a smile in his voice, "Or, do you mean our little _sleeping beauty?_"

"Ohmygod," Raven hissed, eyes wide in terror, "it _really is_ the end of the world! I have to get out of here!" She couldn't remember everything, but enough tatters of memory fell into place that she knew she had a _lot_ of explaining to do, and tried to slip below the surface of the couch. Nothing but a few black tendrils formed, and an excuciating pain shot through her stomach. "Oh, please... how could my powers fail me _now_, of all the times I need them to save my life!" She edged onto the floor and began crawling as fast as she could towards the crime computer array.

"Oh _Raaayven_," Beast Boy called from that way, causing her to freeze in place, then scurry the other direction. His voice grated on her ears worse than she could remember. "Wakey wakey, breakfast is almost ready!"

"Yes, please do-!" began Starfire way too loudly for how the mystic felt right then.

"Guys, keep it down," Robin told them from the other side, "in case of... _you know_."

"Well, it would serve 'er right, after puttin' us through all that crud in the middle of the night-" began Cyborg, coming to the sofa's middle. "Hey, where is she!"

"I'm _trapped!_" Raven whimpered, pressing into the side of the sofa footing, and wished she could punch a hole through one of the drawers large enough to slip into. She tugged her hood down as tightly as she could over her tender head, praying it would magically bestow invisibility. "Guys, go away go away _go away_, I'm not here... there's nothing but air..." she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. After a few moments, she realized that it had grown quiet, and timidly opened one for a peek.

Three glum faces - save for Starfire, who just looked concerned - were staring down at her from the other side of the couch.

She gave a girlish squeal and jumped to her feet, forcing a guilty smile and a wave. "Oh! Hey, guyyyaa_auuuhhhhhh_..." she began, faltering as a wave of dizzines overwhelmed her, the room began to tilt like a sinking ship, then to melt like a candle, and she found herself collapsing back to the floor.

"Are you all right?" Robin asked a bit sternly.

"I'm... _greaaat_..." she replied in a voice like gravel. "Just... have Cyborg tip the Tower back upright... will you?" She gave up trying to rise, and left her arm dangling on the edge of the sofa seat.

"Have a nice nap?" Beast Boy asked mischievously.

"Sssshut up," she moaned.

"So, how about some breakfast?" Cyborg asked, grinning. "Want some _pancakes?_"

There was a liquid, gurgling belch from the miserable, nauseous girl. "Rohh...obin," she whimpered, "kill him for me, _please?_ You'd be much kinder than I would." She felt a wicked satisfaction as Cyborg squeaked, crushing Beast Boy as he tried to jump into the lad's arms.

Robin went around to kneel at her side, offering her his hand. "Need help?"

"No," she began weakly, then knew she couldn't bluff all morning. "Uhm... yeah." As she reached up to take his hand, she withered at the sight of his face. He looked much more than disappointed in her, though with that awful mask, it was hard to tell. She couldn't bear to look at any of them as she tried to steady wobbling legs, tugging her hood more over her face.

"You should probably eat something," Robin said to her quietly. "Feel like it?"

"Uhm... maybe," she muttered. "Eggs... hard boiled. Cold. And pepper. Lots of pepper. And tabasco. Cold tabasco. Aaand..." she added with a whimper, "could you _please_ turn down that bacon?"

"Oh, _crud_," he gasped, leading her hand to the back of the couch. "Sorry, I have to take care of that right now. Starfire, would you tend to her, please?"

"Of course," she said meekly, going to the stricken woman's side as she leaned over the couch, trembling, struggling with nausea and pain running all through her body. She had never seen her friend looking so pathetic and ill before, and reached for her hand gently. "Raven... look at me," she urged softly.

"I... don't want to... just yet. But I need you to make _those two_ go away," she muttered, indicating Cyborg and Beast Boy. "They look like junior and senior prosecutors... and I don't need this right now."

"Gee, I can't imagine why you'd think that," the cybernaut said in an acidic tone. Robin looked to his friend for a moment, but remained silent, increasing the ventilation to clear away the smell of food for Raven's sake.

"Cyborg, come on-" Beast Boy began, afraid an argument was about to erupt.

"I mean, after all," he continued, "you just went off on your own with security up, don't let any of us know you're gone so we could leave a porch light on, or defenses limited, and wake us all up at _three in the freakin' mornin'_ with the trainin' field blastin' away at _intruders!_ Or so we thought."

Her eyes widened in shock, and she gasped, "That really _happened?_"

"Damn right it did! And you're _damn_ lucky that you or your boyfriend didn't get seriously injured! Maybe worse." He held his hand out as if awating a typed explanation. "Come on, Raven, you gotta know we're gonna be cheesed off about that. About... what could'a gone wrong."

Beast boy began to chuckle. "You gotta admit that it looked kinda funny, with whatzisname runnin' around all back 'n forth with you on his back and no clue where to go-"

Cyborg leaned into his face, growling, "Now's not the time for that, you pea-brained runt." The youth looked downward, his ears drooping in sorrow.

"Stop it, all of you," Raven growled, falling heavily to the couch, wincing, and leaned sideways against the back. She knew she had to be in a sorry state to feel sympathy for Beast Boy. She explained to them in her ever gravelly voice, "I didn't mean... for any of this to happen. I just... wanted to see a band, that's all..."

"And get drunk too?" Cyborg continued, relentless. "What the heck you been drinkin' anyhow? Your breath reeks."

"Nothing that bad!" she snapped as loudly as she could, and earned a throb in her temple for the effort. "Just... something with... vodka in it..."

The males all gasped, and Cyborg nearly exploded, his voice painful for more than just the volume. "Girl, _vodka_ is friggin' Russian _whiskey_, and one step down from paint thinner! How long you been drinkin' that crap!"

"Cyborg!" Robin and Starfire cried together. He went on, "We'll discuss this later. For now, let's just have breakfast, and leave Raven _alone_ till she feels better."

"Not _much_ later," he grumbled, taking his place at the counter where the Boy Wonder was laying out the meal he'd prepared, a substantial pile of it in front of Cyborg.

Starfire stroked her fingers lightly down her friend's arm, asking her gently, "May I get you something?"

Raven's eyes stared out vacantly, sadly, as she replied in a faint voice, "A bottle of aspirin, maybe? A few glasses of water? And some Ice. In a pack, and some I can chew on. Okay?"

"Certainly," she said with a smile, leaning closer as she rose, whispering, "Cyborg is merely upset and worried... as are we all."

"I know," Raven murmured, her eyes fluttering shut. "I'd... give him the business too... if he pulled a stunt like this..."

Starfire squeezed her friend's shoulder gently, telling her, "I will get those things to help you feel better."

Everyone had caused problems for the entire team at one time or the other. But this time, she was fully capable of dealing with this awkward situation on her own, though no one else could understand that. At least, that's what Raven told herself. She didn't have long to debate the topic, as restless sleep overtook her again. It was better than enduring the nausea and pain, and the whispered arguments coming from the others, which were more hurtful.

Starfire found her slumped over and unconscious as she came back, eying her friend sadly as she put down a bucket of ice as gently as she could on the table, and the aspirin bottle and glasses of water within easy reach.

"Here. Raven?"

Her eyes sprang open in shock as she had been dreaming... she couldn't remember what, but it was traumatic. She put her had up to shield her eyes, as the glare of morning coming into the room was still quite painful. "Robert?" she croaked weakly.

He blinked at her in confusion, echoing, "_Robert?_"

She witherered in embarrassment as she sat up, mumbling, "Sorry... _Robin_." She wondered how many people she'd called that name so far, feeling stupid.

He was holding out a plate to her of hard boiled eggs he had made, and she was grateful to feel that it was ice cold. Beside her was a tray with another plate of sliced carrots, celery and bell peppers, along with a glass of iced juice. Salt and pepper shakers and a bottle of tabasco made things complete, and she mumbled her thanks as she accepted it.

Then she saw that she wasn't in the Ops Room at all, but her bedroom. Feeling a twinge of violated privacy, she grumbled as she salted and caked an egg with pepper, "You're not supposed to be in here."

"And _you_ aren't supposed to get drunk," he fired right back as he dimmed the sunscreen within the pane of her window.

She sat there for a moment, searching for some smart reply, but came up blank, finally returning wearily, "Touche."

"But one thing," he added, "I didn't bring you here to pry into your world. I thought you would feel better in your own space, where you could have some privacy."

For that misunderstood act, she was _very_ grateful and murmured, "Thank you." She still couldn't quite stomach food just yet, and licked the salt and pepper from the egg. "So, I guess... you want to talk, now," she muttered gruffly as she re-seasoned it.

"We have to sometime," he replied, sitting across from the tray. "Look... we're just... worried, that's all. This isn't like you. You abstain from almost everything, except whatever causes extreme adrenaline rush, and then you pull this. I would leave it to Starfire to drag it out of you, but..." He placed his hand over hers, causing her to gaze into that weird eye-concealing mask of his. "Raven, we're like family. And because of... that incident, when Slade invaded my mind, and you reached out to me, we should be even closer. I'd hope you would confide in me."

She looked down with a melancholy smile. "It would help if I understood it all, myself." As she licked the spice from the egg, re-applying more, she tried to fight down a blush, as some things she would rather die than anyone know. "I'm... depressed," she offered up, but that sounded so dumb, trite and fake that she fell silent, licking the egg clean and seasoning it yet again.

He blinked at her in surprise, knowing that there was far more to it than that. "Can you elaborate? And I don't mean to pry. I just want to understand."

She gazed at him again, feeling a strange mix of irritation at his prying, and a sisterly warmth for him, and a hint of something more, though _those_ kinds of feelings were verboten. 'Robin, you are so right, but... what can I tell you that will satisfy you and get you off my back? I guess I can try being honest, at least partly.' She licked her egg thoughtfully for a moment, wondering where the starting line was, then sprinkled it once more, daring to take a small bite, chewed and swallowed it. "I'm not sure where it all begins, but... I just feel... lost," she croaked. "Like I don't even belong here."

"But... Raven, that's ridiculous. You know better than that. How long have you been here, with us-?"

"Don't you _dare_ use some pre-readied speech on me," she growled, causing him to edge back, blinking in surprise. Her irritation faded, and she gave him a shrug. "Sorry. It's just... I _know_ all you were going to say, and you're right. Sort of. But... Robin, I'm _different. Really_ different, in ways that even Starfire isn't. I'm not even from this universe... not really." She looked down, biting the egg in half.

He sat there blinking in confusion for a moment. This sounded ominous. "W-what do you mean?"

She swallowed the morsel, but sat quietly for a time, brooding, unsure of what to say. "Robin... I am a _very_ unique being. Unlike everyone else in this universe, the parents are of the same substance. The same matter, the same time-stream, the same physics. But..." She heaved a deep breath as she collected herself. "You... remember who my... _father_ was."

He nodded somberly, fretting over where this was headed. "How could I forget."

"Yeah..." she murmured, nibbling the rest of the egg. "Trigon, the great demon-king, with the power to alter the nature of a whole planet, and then some." And he had, using her as a key to unlock the secret gate to their universe, reducing the world to rubble, the entire human race to stone in one terrible sweep, and nearly killing everyone she held dear. "On the other hand, my mother, Arella, a simple human woman who had her life wrecked by that bastard and his dark scheme. And you have no idea what that means."

He clasped her hand, telling her earnestly, "Raven, it doesn't matter. _You aren't your father_-"

She wanted to leave her hand in his, let his speech continue, let him be right. But she knew better, yanking her hand away and gripping his wrist in a surprisingly fierce, painful hold. "Yes, _I am_... in a sense. Now, listen." She let him go, sorry to be so brash and rough with him, but Robin had a tendency to talk over one unless you got his attention in a big way. "There is a strange dimension which co-exists alongside this one, coincident but untouching. It's more or less the flipside of this one, and obeys laws similar but still very different. It's the dimension of monsters, devils, dark spirits, dark matter, and dark energy. There are seals put in place by..." She shook her head, continuing, "Actually, no one knows for certain. But they keep that malevolent world and this one separated from each other. Except that the forces pass through freely, and are so strong, they even influence the movements of galaxies." She held up her hand, and tried to manifest her power. This time it obeyed, cloaking her hand in darkness. "The forces I wield."

Robin was always fascinated by her dark powers, how she could manipulate energies of pure blackness to do her bidding. But now they, and she, took on an entirely different, perhaps sinister connotation. "Trigon... a being made up of dark matter... and why he needed you to break through to our world. Someone with the nature of both universes, to serve as a portal."

"Yes," she told him in a strange voice. His eyes opened wide in reflection of his growing fear as the darkness began to slowly spread down her arm to envelop her. She rose up to stand before him, black filaments like tentacles writhing around her. Her eyes glowed an angry red, and two more slits opened above them, a hideous masque he had witnessed only once, and from a safe distance. His heart began pounding in his chest, and beat all the harder as dreadful words were invoked from those dark lips in a pair of unhuman voices. "A being who's body consists of dark matter. Who's life is the essence of dark energy. Who's powers are those of dark magic. Trigon, the devil-lord. I am his only spawn, and heir to his realm, inheritor of his powers, successor to his authority. Raven, the Dark Wraith, who overcame him and did smite him mortally, banishing him to Gehenna to suffer eternally the Second Death!"

Robin screamed, tumbling from the bed as she spread wings of blackness with a shrill cry that rang painfully in that now tiny chamber, and he found himself face to face with an angel of Death. And even though he had seen her in this dreadful form before, he only had so much as an inkling of the true nature she hid within, from everyone.

That horrid cry rang throughout the Tower, and the other three shivered outside that otherworldly girl's door as they eavesdropped on a conversation that had abruptly turned into a literal Hell. Cyborg gasped, "Ohmygosh... _Raven's killing Robin_."

And then, before the Boy Wonder even realized it, she was sitting quietly on her bed, nibbling her egg once more, and washing it down with a drink of juice as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Well... I feel much better now," she remarked in a satisfied tone.

He had to shake his head to clear it, then once more just to be sure. "_Raaaven?_" he gasped in an awestruck voice, slowly rising to his feet and edging cautiously to her bed, afraid of upsetting such a drastically volatile creature. Fortunately, Starfire caught this exchange, as they were just about to blast their way in.

She sighed, looking down. "I'm... sorry that I put you through that, Robin. But sometimes... you have to be hit over the head to see the obvious." She flashed him a thin smile again, but the look on his face only made her feel miserable. "Great... I just ruined everything, as usual..."

"No."

She looked up sharply as he clasped her hand again. He was still breathing a little heavily, but his voice was calm. "No, Raven, not even. This is... a side of you I'd only glimpsed before, and ignored. But it doesn't change a thing, not really. You're still the same person, still the same girl, as always. The same Raven who risked your life countless times to save us, and to save others you didn't know in the least. There's nothing dark about that." He gave her a warm, lopsided smile, adding, "And you're still my friend."

She closed her eyes, squeezing his hand back warmly, murmuring, "You are... the most amazing guy I've ever known, Robin. And Starfire is _so_ damned lucky to have you, because..." She knew better than to finish, but the blush which tainted her cheeks said it all.

"Well..." he said softly, his own cheeks flushing pink as he sat back. "I'm... glad that's overwith, and we can get back to normal, now."

Raven gasped in dismay, pushing his hand back. "Oh, for crying out loud... I'm afraid you haven't learned a damned thing."

He blinked at her in surprise, wondering what it was he didn't grasp. "W-what do you mean? I thought things were okay now-"

She grumbled, "Sweet Hades... _how_ can you be so logical and lucid, and still forget like _that_ what we _just discussed_ a few moments ago? I confess a few things, and you think all of a sudden, everything is fixed like _magic?_ I swear... everything is either hunky-dory, or on the verge of nuclear meltdown with you. You are _so bipolar!_"

He gaped at her in shock. "_I'm_ bipolar-?"

She continued, "And so stubbornly myopic, like a brain made of gorilla glue!"

He shook his head, blinking in dismay. "How in the world did we end up talking about how _I'm_ messed up?"

"How come boys have to be so dense that every damned little thing has to be spelled out to you!" she went on relentlessly.

He cringed, unsure if it was just the hangover from the previous day, her depression or _what_ was making her so crass and blunt, but sighed resignedly. "Okay... just spell out whatever the heck it is I'm too thick to understand-"

"Do I have to _wig out_ on you again?" she growled, snapping her cape out wide like wings of darkness.

"_NO!_ No." He put up his hand defensively. "That's okay. It was... awesome-"

"Oh yeah, so _awesome_ you nearly wet yourself! Don't you get it yet?" she exclaimed, beginning to sound frustrated. "I'm... _dark!_"

He wasn't quite sure how to respond. "Well... hey, you've always been... dark..."

"Yeah, and you guys _aren't!_ Do you know what it's like to spend almost my entire waking life with people who are _nothing_ like me? The pair of shallow two year olds who's entire world is either wrapped up in video games or _arguing_ about video games? _Every freaking DAY!_"

The pair of males lurking outside the door fell against each other wanting to cry. "She hates me..." Cyborg whimpered, his eye beginning to water.

"Hates both of us," Beast Boy sobbed, then they fell into each other's arms, bawling, and Starfire had to muffle them quickly.

Raven went on in her tirade, unaware of the audience outside. "And then there's _Miss Congeniality_, who wouldn't dream of letting me be _myself_ once in a while, constantly sticking her nose into my business and being like-" She went on in a wide-eyed falsetto caricature of her friend, "'_Hey, Raven! Let us go do something all happy and pointless!_' It's like living with a ditzy schoolgirl, _every_ crapping day the same annoying garbage, as manipulative and overbearing as that damned Mother Mae-Eye!"

"Well... Starfire is a little... enthusiastic-" Robin admitted.

"Yeah, like a mouthful of _maple syrup!_"

The alien girl fell across the cybernaut's shoulder, blubbering in tears. Cyborg patted her back gently, murmuring, "Ice cream."

"_Lots_ of ice cream," Beast Boy agreed with a sob, and they trudged off to the kitchen area of the Ops Room, though Starfire lingered tearfully, unable to leave the door to this secret unveiling of Raven's innermost thoughts. Painful though they were...

Robin continued trying to placate the mystic. "But... Raven, she just wants everyone to get along-"

"Damn it, _it gets on my nerves after a while!_" she cried. "And then there's _you_."

Robin stiffened, bracing for impact. "Oh boy..."

"The _one_ guy I might possibly find something in common with, raised in a cave full of _bats_ for company, one of the few _darkies_ I know that's worth a spit."

He blinked, repeating, "Darkies?"

"But no, you have to be all-business no-vacation Rambo Robin, nothing but work and the mission and the team! You wouldn't _dream_ of doing something as human as taking poor Starfire out on a damn date! But even you can't hide what's _really_ going on inside! I've caught you staring at my legs like a typical male!" Outside, Starfire fell heavily to the ringing metal floorplates with a muffled cry.

Robin gasped sharply, turning away as his cheeks blossomed a vivid cherry. "Uhm... w-well... it's not like-"

"Oh? What _is it like?_ Are _theeese_ why you keep me around?" she snarled acusingly, stroking a thigh as his face somehow grew even redder, and random syllables caught in his throat. "Or do you need someone _dangerous_ nearby when no one else is bad-ass enough! Someone with _dark powers_ who can force the world to bend to your will when you can't! And how has _that_ been working out! Do you remember why we have to be insured by _Lloyds of London?_" She planted her hand on her bosom. "Me! _Miz Collateral Damage!_ You know I can't use my powers directly on bad guys... they're too deadly! So I have to grab whatever's handy, and that means cars, trucks, parts of factories... all I am is frigging Demolition Girl! _And that stuff has to be paid for!_"

All that was true, and it did cut rather deeply into their budget at times. "Well... _yeah_, but... that's what insurance is _for_-"

"Damn it, the world shouldn't have to be protected from _me_, like _I'm_ one of the bad guys!" she shouted, driving her fists onto the tray. The whole mess flew into the air in majestic, tumbling arcs, and ended up in the floor.

Robin blinked at the stormy outburst, and grew afraid as black tendrils began to form around the mystic. He grasped her hands, hoping to reach her before things spiralled completely out of control. "Raven, _listen_, please. You wanted in on this deal, remember?"

"Yes, and I knew you guys wouldn't want me because there would be days like _this!_" The blackness began spreading...

He groaned in exasperation. "Raven... _no!_ It's not like that at all! You're part of a team now, and this is disrupting it-" He realized that this particular tact might have been precisely the wrong one to start with, as the otherworldly girl seemed to gather herself, and the black essence, in coils like a cobra.

Her eyes blazed yellow as she cried, "Damn you, you're as stubbornly single-minded as that psycho man-bot Mento! You don't have a heart anymore! We're just pieces in your stupid chess match you play with the world of evil! All you can think of is the _team_ and the _mission_ and your _damned superhero games-!_"

"_Raven!_" he shouted over her, scrambling for something to say, but he realized with a faint heart just how much of a people person he _wasn't_. "Come on... calm _down_. You're just getting yourself worked up over nothing, and it's clouding your thinking. You don't get it-"

"Well," she began in an unnervingly calm tone, "since _I_ don't get it, and _you_ don't get it, maybe you should just _GET OUT!_"

Before he could blink, the black tendrils had him, driving him through the fortunately open door of her room with a cry, and threw him out into one of the others against the wall opposite. The door slammed shut, and the walls of her room became covered in black.

Cyborg and Beast Boy stood there with bowls piled high with scoops of various ice creams, Cyborg's twice as big, gaping at the scene as Robin tried to recover. The cyberman remarked dryly, "I take it your little chat didn't go so well."

"She's... depressed," he replied as he struggled to disentangle himself gingerly.

"Man, is it 'State The Obvious Day' or what?" Beast Boy asked sarcastically. "So, what _is_ her deal, anyhow?"

Robin was about to brush off his question, then blinked as he realized who he had collided with, gasping, "Starfire!"

"Do not speak to me," she whimpered, brushing off his offered hand, and wandered to stand behind the other two, facing away.

When it struck him what the girl's reaction meant, Robin felt as devastated as if the Tower had landed on him. But crushing humiliation quickly became burning outrage, and he roared at them, "Have you guys _been EAVESDROPPING ON US?!_"

They did their best to cower on the floor behind the piles of frosted dessert as Cyborg offered timidly, "Uhh... have some ice cream."

"_I DON'T WANT ANY FFff - FRIGGING ICE CREAM!_" he cried at the top of his voice. "_That was a private conversation! Raven wasn't in her right mind! NOW how do you guys feel!_"

"Like if you don't stop yellin' your head off," Beast Boy hissed warningly, "she's gonna come out and turn us all into hand puppets!"

"She's sealed her room off; she can't hear anything," the young leader noted to them, then knelt down menacingly. "You have someone else you should be worried about!"

As the two males quivered before him, Starfire stood up haughtily. "_I_ think your conversation with Raven was quite _revealing_."

"Saved by the outraged girlfriend," Beast Boy whispered in relief.

That was all it took to snuff out his anger, and he stood awkwardly, wondering what to say as he came around the groveling men, reaching for her hand. "Starfire, hold on. That talk with Raven... her angst was clouding her judgment-"

She turned away from him, folding her arms with a _hmph_. "It sounded to me as if she saw matters with great clarity, judging by your _reaction_. And I do not know why you show me such favor, since I am not certain that _my_ legs are as good looking as hers."

He grew flustered, blurting out, "H-hey, I look at lots of girls' legs-"

Cyborg dropped his spoon with a ringing clatter. Robin gaped at himself in shock, as did the others, smothering his mouth with both hands, but it was far too late.

Beast Boy said to him, sounding appalled, "Dude... you did _not_ just say that."

Tears welled up in the heartbroken girl's jewel-green eyes, and she sobbed, "Ohh... _Robin_..." Then she turned and flew down the hallway without looking, and plowed right through the wall at the end.

Cyborg sighed tiredly, "Well... I can see what I'm gonna be doin' for the next hour or so..." He wasn't about to let his ice cream go to waste, and gulped down the top half of the Everest-like mound, stiffening from the resulting brain freeze.

Robin fell to his hands and knees, his head bowed in anguish, moaning, "Oh, _man_... where is the reset button on this day, so I can do this whole disaster over?"

Raven sat quivering with pent up emotion on her bed as black essence seethed and bubbled all around her, wanting to scream, wanting to fly away somewhere, wanting... anything to unleash this frustration onto. A small sensible part of her knew that she really should calm down and meditate, re-establish balance, but the rest of her was too caught up in her emotions and she knew it wouldn't happen. But she did know one thing she wanted desperately: to commune with Robert. This, she could do, so she went to her computer to start the mp5 player with its list of his music, and turned the stereo up loud.

But as she sat on the edge of her bed expectantly, her stomach twisted in shock as a flatulent rattle and shrill buzz came from the speakers. She practically jumped over to the stereo to turn it off, gaping at it, devastated. She wondered what could have possibly happened to it, when she realized that _she_ had happened to it; last evening, when she lashed out at the room with her powers. If that wasn't bad enough, the smell of the mess she'd made beside her bed wafted to her, especially the eggs. The black shroud enveloping the room melted away as she collapsed in tears, wailing, "Oh, damn it to _Hell_... I ruin... _everything...!_"

Cyborg looked through the structure behind the wall Starfire had demolished like a wrecking ball. Fortunately, she drove through the middle, as all the important systems and supports were on either side. "Man, did we ever luck out," he remarked in amazement. "Otherwise, we'd be doin' plumbing, electric cabling and runnin' new data lines, not to mention replacing crucial support beams holdin' this thing up."

"So don't mention it," Beast Boy chided, looking at the time on his communicator. "But _I'll_ mention that I'm outta here in half an hour."

"Dude," Cyborg grumbled, "TiVo your darn toons. We got the dang thing for situations like this."

"It's _not_ a show," the changeling protested. "I got... stuff to do."

"But B.B., I need a hand... lots of hands," he groused back. "This is gonna be a lot more work because..." He nodded behind him towards the mystic's room. "We usually get a lotta help from _you know wh-HEY! Raven!_" he cried abruptly with a nervous grin, hiding behind the wall panel he was preparing for replacement. Beast Boy caught sight of the hooded wraith and gave a yelp of fear, becoming a green jay and flew off as fast as he could, skreeking his way down the corridor. "Thanks for the _support_, bird brain," Cyborg grumbled under his breath, then blinked at the girl in perplexion, as she was toting her stereo on a circle of black beside her, the entire thing.

She visibly withered at the reaction from the guys, turning around and murmuring in her grainy voice, "Uhm... sorry, I didn't mean to bother you-"

Cyborg stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, and in spite of his robotic form, he was surprisingly gentle. "No, I'm sorry. We're all just a little... jumpy lately, that's all."

"Who can blame you?" she moped back. "I haven't exactly been... sane company."

"Oh, come on now..." he began, catching sight of Beast Boy peering around the corner at the far intersection, and shook his head at him. The lad turned away sadly, but he was afraid of what might happen with the abrasive teenager trying too hard to cheer up the miserable occultist. "Hey," he said to her softly, reaching for her. "Why don't we lose the hood-"

"_No!_" she snapped, pulling it further down over her face.

He gaped at her in surprise, saying, "Girl, what the heck's got into you, anyway? Actin' all weird 'n emotional..." He pulled the hood down in spite of her half-hearted efforts to stop him, gazing at her in concern as she faced downward, her cheeks red. "Hey... have you been cryin'? You never cry." When she wouldn't respond, he stroked under her chin softly, trying to get her to look up. She hadn't appeared so frail and vulnerable since those very first days, when she was almost afraid to speak around them, or those awful days of Trigon's impending release. "Raven, come on... I'm your friend. We all are. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't _know!_" she wailed, throwing herself against him and hugging him tightly. It wasn't entirely true, but there was no way she was ever going to willingly reveal her secret desire.

He wrapped her in his massive metallic arms as she quivered and snuffled through tears, stroking her back softly. "Hey... let it all out, hon. You'll feel better. And don't worry, this armor is tear-proof stainless alloy."

She choked out a brief, bitter laugh, then pushed her way out of his embrace, snuffling and wiping her face. "I'm... okay, now," she said quietly.

Cyborg wasn't convinced. "You _sure?_ That wasn't much of a cry-"

"Yeah..." she interrupted, waving him off. "Come on, let's... get to work on these repairs. There's no question that I'm to blame. Besides, if I don't do _something_, I swear I'll go crazy."

"Well, we can't have that now, can we?" He offered her his hand with a smile as he stepped into the gloom of the Tower's interior structure, activating his shoulder light.

Beast Boy turned away with a sigh, wishing that he could have played a part in helping Raven find her emotional feet. "How come everyone treats me like I'm the comedy relief fall guy!" he lamented, then admitted to himself dejectedly, "Maybe because I _am_ the comedy relief fall guy." Then a scary thought occurred to him, making him blink. "Woah... it looks like Cyborg and me are the only two Titans still taking to each other, really talkin'. And that's not good. So... it looks like a job for..." he began with a wide grin, though it quickly faded, as he recalled countless times his good intentions blew up real good in everyone's faces. "_Not_ Beast Boy. Dang it... why can't _I_ save the day once in a while, like Robin and Cyborg?" He answered his own question as he trudged down the corridor. "Because they're sensible. Hey, _I can do_ sensible... I _think_ I can be sensible-"

Not looking where he was going, he rounded a corner and bowled right into Robin, who was just as deep in thought, sending both of them to the floor. "Oh... hey, sorry." He offered Robin a hand up. "You wanderin' aimlessly, lost in your own head too?"

"Uhh... not really," he replied. "I went to check on Starfire, but she's still not speaking to me, so I thought I'd see if Cyborg needs a hand with the Tower repair-"

"Not to worry, mi amigo. Cyborg and Raven are patchin' things up with the Tower and each other, thanks to me..." He noticed Robin staring at him in doubt, and finished quickly, looking aside, "Uhm... _staying out of it_-"

"Are you _serious?_" he asked, amazed. "About Cyborg and Raven, I mean."

"Well... yeah. Which brings me to you and your little disaster with Star-"

"Beast Boy..." Robin began with a voice of iron, "do I have to remind you just _why_ that little disaster happened?"

He cringed, whimpering sheepishly, "Uhmm... could we overlook _one tiny detail_ for a minute? Now listen. I have a foolproof five-point plan guaranteed to patch things up between you 'n Star." The Boy Wonder heaved a sigh and began to walk around the teen, but he lunged in his way, beginning to count off the points on his fingers. "Candy. Flowers. Profuse appology. A monkey suit."

Robin stared at him, with a chimpanzee cry obviously ringing in his mind.

Beast Boy frowned back. "_You know_, a dress shirt, blazer and slacks. And _real_ shoes, not those steel clods you stomp all over in all the time."

Robin continued to stare. "That's four."

"Glad you're payin' attention," he gushed, "as the most important factor in this equation of restoration is number _five_: a night out on the town with Star doing whatever the heck she wants!"

The Boy Wonder should have seen this coming from the start, but needless to say, he was more than a little distracted. So when all the pieces fell into place, he gaped at the changeling in shock. "You mean... _a date?_"

"_Duh_, Captain Oblivious! What the heck do you _think_ I mean! A night run through the _Training Grounds?_"

"Uhh... I think I'd rather try that..." he began, trying to push past the shapeshifter.

"Dude!" Beast Boy exclaimed, shoving him back. "What is your _problem!_ The whole freaking _universe_ knows you two have the hots for each other! This is the most open non-secret _ever!_ It's in all the finest publications!" He held up a copy of _The Inquisitor_, which had a massive front page splash reading, "Gotham, London, Paris, Munich, everyone's talkin' 'bout LIP MUSIC!" Below the headline was an extreme close-up of he and Starfire mauling each other's lips while locked in a torrid embrace, credited to someone noted as _BB_.

"_WHAT?!_" he exploded, grabbing the paper in shaking fists. "_HOW...!_"

"Hey! Careful, that's a mint copy," Beast Boy warned, snatching it back from him to slip into a clear plastic protector. "So anyway, you got your marchin' orders. There's a few hours before _Dating Time_ officially starts. Plenty o' time to order five dozen roses, pick up a mega-chocolate sampler, buy some nifty threads - unless you still have that tux from prom night-"

"Can you _please_ not mention _prom night-?_" he interrupted.

_"And_ come up with a good appology line perfect for snaring a young Tamaranian's heart." Just then, a familiar tune beeped out from the changeling's communicator.

"Trouble?" Robin asked much too eagerly.

Beast Boy gave him a dim look. "Yeah, for _you_ if you drop the ball. That's just my alarm. Now _stay focused!_ The fragile heart of a totally sweet alien princess is on the brink of a bottomless abyss, in danger of bein' lost forever. Only you can save 'er, and give 'er the love she's been searching all over the universe for."

Robin blinked at him in perplexion. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Oh... I been watchin' a few romance flicks with Starfire," he admitted. "Pretty good, actually, good pointers 'n stuff. Anyhow, gotta scoot. Make me proud." He punched the young leader in the arm as he dashed off for the stairs, calling over his shoulder with a grin and thumbs-up, "Just remember, your name is _Robin_, not _Chicken!_"

The Boy Wonder shook his head, muttering, "I'd rather take on Slade solo for a month than face Starfire again, at least in this atmosphere. Still... he could have a point. I wonder how many flower shops have five dozen roses in stock...?"

Two pairs of eyes in a ventilator grate watched the young leader wander off on his uncertain mission. "Wow... I don't believe it," Cyborg said guardedly. "B.B. did somethin' right for a change! That's about what I would'a said. Except for that _five dozen_ roses thing."

"Beast Boy does have his moments," Raven admitted with a thin smile. "_Still_... they're so rare, I'm going to mark my calendar."

"_Word_ on that," Cyborg agreed. "Anyhow, can you get that duct into position - yeah, just right there... perfect." Raven held the ductwork in place with her dark powers until Cyborg could secure them, screwing support straps to the cross braces overhead. He kept peeking at her, watching as the mystic became calmer and more at ease with herself. Finally, he decided to broach tender subjects. "Uhm... Ray? I was just wonderin'... what's up with the stereo?"

She wilted like a dying flower, drifting over to sit on a cross-beam, hugging herself to a vertical support. "I... _I broke it_," she whimpered. "Cyborg, _I'm so sorry_..."

He was afraid she was going to start crying again, and sat beside her. "Hey, _hey_... come on now, it's not the end of the world-"

"It is to _me_," she interrupted. "I prize all the gifts you guys have given me - even that silly stuff from Beast Boy. But... I love music more than anything, so your stereo... it's the most precious thing I've ever owned. And now... it's just _ruined_..."

"Hey," he said to her softly, "it's really sweet of you to say that. But... how the heck did it happen? I made sure to get a system that even Beast Boy couldn't blow."

"I... had a bad dream yesterday, and... blasted the entire room with my powers," she confessed meekly. "I didn't realize what I'd done until I tried to play something a while ago. I hope the stereo isn't fried too..."

She sat there sadly, and he felt led to lightly rub her back. "Well listen, I'll prob'ly have to replace all the drivers, the sub's too, and those ribbon tweeters are proprietary. But I tell you what, I'll call Audio Haven and see if they got the stuff in stock right now. With any luck, you'll be rockin' again tonight."

He found the young mystic wrapped tightly around his neck, murmuring, "Oh... _thank you_, Cyborg... you're the best."

He hugged her back, blushing deep red as she kissed his cheek. "Weh-ell... I got some pretty stiff competition from the four of you, but I try. And listen, I'm sorry about the heavy scene this mornin'. It's just that I'm worried for ya... everyone is."

"I know..." she replied as she drew away. "I would've probably been harder on you if you'd pulled something like that."

He had to chuckle. "Hey, no need to tell me. I've seen how you are with B.B. when he gets out of hand."

"Yeah, well..." she said with a wink, "he deserved it."

He had all of a second to wonder how to ask what had flipped her world on its head, when tinny music began playing, and Raven abruptly flew back out of the latticework of steel for the opening in the wall. Cyborg scrambled after her, picking his way among the crossbeams, asking, "Hey, since when did you have a cellphone?" It occurred to him as she began to act rather secretive just _why_ she had one. Looking to her disapprovingly as she answered it, he asked in a stony voice, "Is that _Scab?_"

"Hello... _Stab_," she corrected, giving him an irate look as she wandered off towards her room, pulling her hood over her face to shield her. "Hey... _slow down_."

"Whatever," he muttered as he emerged into the corridor, watching as the girl entered her sanctuary, and the walls were coated with black. "Man... I'm havin' serious doubts about this." He noticed the stereo lying in the floor where Raven had left it, shrugging with a sigh. "Well, a promise is a promise. But I'd better get a cart, 'cause no tellin' when that girl's gonna leave her room-" And then, it struck him what that meant as he looked back into the open wall, groaning, "Oh maaan... _hey!_ Does anyone wanna help out _Mister Fixit?_" When his answer was an enormous silence, he continued with mock cheerfulness, "Well, _awrightie_ then."

"...I'm sorry Raven I'm really _really_ sorry about what happened are you okay I just got up a little while ago or I would'a called earlier I can't believe I _did that_-"

"_STAB!_" she yelled into the phone, having tried for a couple of minutes to get a word in edgewise through his stream of consciousness, something that reminded her way too much of a little yellow dream-munchkin. "Breathe! Okay? I'm _fine_." Although as she tried to pierce the liquor-fogged memories of the previous night, she had to wonder about a few things. "Did you... kick a mike stand into me?"

"Listen... I'm _really sorry_ about that - I don't know why I did-" he practically wailed.

"Okay! Okay, it's no big deal. Really," she said as she looked herself over in her full length mirror, split with cracks from yesterday's disaster, undoing her leotard to look herself over. Curiously, while there was a lingering ache in her temple where it might have struck, there was no straight bruise that would have been caused by a long rod of metal hitting her. "Just... don't do that again. If you hit some sorry kid like that, they could be seriously hurt."

"I wasn't thinking... I was like... someone else on stage last night," he confessed, then gave a wry chuckle. "Vulnavia put me through some kind of Inquisition over it. I was afraid she was gonna skin me alive."

She smirked in her reply as she closed up her garment. "Yeah, she's overly protective of me, treats me like some... long lost sister or... daughter, or... _something_. Anyway, listen. Just keep your head on straight, and remember, stage stuff is fine, out in the audience is _bad_."

"I'll try 'n remember that," he chuckled.

"Hey, there is one thing..." She looked over the vague slightly purplish shadow of the bruise on her cheek again, deciding to fudge the truth just a bit. "I don't think the mike stand really hit me. It seems more like... some sort of energy wave came out from you. I think you must have some kind of power."

There was an obvious frown in his voice. "What kind of power?"

"Something attuned to the music you do," she replied as she sat on her bed. "You should harness this, and control it, and if you can, you're going to be performing the most powerful music in the history of rock. I could... probably help you with that." She had to smirk at the way that undoubtedly came across to the young guitarist.

"Hey, whatever you wanna do with me is just... awesome," he laughed.

"I'm _serious_," she insisted. "It would probably explain a lot of the... _really_ strange things I experienced in your show..." Her voice drifted to silence as she tried to sort the fragmented memories into a semblance of what she had lived through last night. A magical night, under the power of a wondrous, mysterious, dark young man...

"What kind of things?" he asked, and when the silence wore on, he said more loudly, "_Raven?_"

"Oh! Uhm... sorry. It's just that... it's hard to describe. It must be like... a drug trip, and I guess it didn't help that there was so much pot smoke in the air. Still..." she murmured dreamily, "I've been through that stuff before, and it was _nothing_ like this. It was just... surreal... _like another world opened up in your music_..." Her eyes closed as she chased after the vivid but elusive sensations, wanting to relive the best parts.

"Really? That's... interesting. So... you really liked it... enjoyed the show?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, Stab... it was _incredible!_" She was afraid that she was gushing like a typical fangirl, but she knew how important her praise was, and this time it was well earned. "Hangman was pretty good last time I saw you guys, but last night... it was like _magic_, and I'm not exaggerating. Even as loud as you were, I could hear how well everything was played, and it was so trippy, my head was spinning the whole time! I just wish you'd played more than five or six songs before your little accident," she finished regretfully.

He seemed to audibly frown. "Raven, we played the whole set except for the last tune. It was twenty-four songs without a real break. You polished off everyone's drink within reach, and kept passing out, hanging half off the stage. I wanted to go to you and take you somewhere, but the crowd wouldn't let us stop."

"Are you _serious?_" She frowned herself in consternation, rubbing her temple out of reflex. "No wonder I woke up with several hangovers this morning..."

"Hey... I'm really sorry to hear that," he told her sympathetically, then went on in a more husky tone, "I just wish... I could have stayed... helped you. You were moaning the whole time, like you were in real pain-"

"Oh sure," she smirked, rolling her eyes. "I have no doubt you'd just _love_ to play doctor with me."

"Hey, come on," he protested. "I mean... it's not like I _wouldn't_, but I knocked you out solid for a while, and you were barely conscious as I got you back home. You were completely helpless the whole time." She shrivelled at the realization that she had been alone with him, utterly vulnerable, for however long it had taken him to get her back to the Tower, and curled into her robes as if his eyes had been undressing her the entire way, and were once more. "But I couldn't do anything but kiss you, once..."

Something about that simple, honest, forlorn admission touched her, and her trepidations faded away, and she unclenched. Her only memories of that time were muddled, cloudy dreams, but she hoped they still had some bearing on what happened. A kiss, tender, sweet... a boat cut out of the wood from the stage... yeah, _that_ had to have been confused by the liquor, but she had to know what it meant. "Did you... steal a boat?"

"Uh... I prefer the term _borrowed_, but yeah. I mean, I can't exactly walk on water or anything - and _I did_ take it back as... close to where I remember I got it from..."

She had to giggle as he blustered his way through the response. "Okay, okay... just remember that the Port Authority has a pair of skiffs set aside for that sort of thing, if this ever comes up again. They had too many incidents of boat stealing by kids in the past, determined to come see us."

"Well, okay, _next_ time I'll know that, thank you," he muttered chidingly. "Hey, listen... could you open the video link on that thing? I wanna _see_ you. I hate talking to a black screen."

She caught herself looking in the mirror to make sure her face wasn't mussed up, and then scolded herself inwardly. At times, she thought she was cute; at others, like a homely fish, or a bird, only lacking a beak. Even so, she combed her fingers through her hair. "Oh, come on..." she grumbled, "you know what I look like. A big round head with big round eyes and a small mouth-"

"I wanna see..." he insisted, "that big round head with those big round eyes... those soft lips... framed by that unearthly blue-violet hair of yours."

Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart skipped a beat, and she felt like she was melting as she lay down. She wasn't entirely sure, but if he was just leading her on, he sounded awfully sincere. Turning on the speaker and video feed, she held the phone out as his face appeared on the screen; cute as always, but lacking a _certain something_ from last night. "Hey," she said with a thin smile. "See? Same old Raven. But you... need more makeup."

"Hey, I'll put it back on!" he laughed, then said to her somberly, "You, however... I wouldn't change anything about you-"

"Okay, butter lips," she interrupted with a smirk, snuggling into her pillow. "There is a _price_ for this little video chat. So, tell me... all about what it's like inside of this _Stab_ person..."

* * *

><p>A rather slender, pretty middle-teen girl in a school uniform with long blond hair began the long walk home, toting a bag loaded with gym things and a backpack full of books and homework. About that time, she felt a brush against her legs and a mew, and looked down, beginning to smile. "Oh, a kitten-" Her words caught in her throat and she bore a look of distaste when she got a good view of it. "Eww... a <em>green<em> kitten. I bet you have mange and a small flea circus in that fur - go on, _shoo!_" she scolded at the persistent creature, beginning to walk on her way, and gave a kick at it though she didn't mean for it to connect. "Oh, _sorry_-"

"Hey!" Beast Boy exclaimed as he assumed his normal form. "I'll have you know that I give myself periodic tongue baths!" He licked his hand and smoothed his mop of green hair back as the girl failed to completely stifle a laugh. "_And_ I've had all my _shots_ too... though I don't have the dental records to _prove it_..."

She was growing red from the fight against laughter, beginning to continue on. "Uhhm... _medical_ records."

He snapped his fingers, keeping pace with her. "Dang, _that's_ why I never got 'em!"

She tried to stifle herself with her free hand, but only succeeded in making a rude noise and popping her ears

"Gesundheit," he said to her, and she couldn't hold it in anymore, practically crowing with laughter. "Man... I can say _anything_ and this girl laughs! I should sell tickets to this gig."

"_Stop!_" she cried, having to stop herself to catch her breath. As she settled down to mere giggling, she reflected that school had become a wearying chore, and she had been missing the young green changeling when he had actually respected her wishes and left her alone for almost two entire years. Now, with him back around, really around, not just sneaking looks at her from a distance she somehow knew of... did she want this? She decided out loud, "Okay... school blows, you make me laugh... you can walk me home."

"Aww-_right-!_" he began, pumping his fist, then found an index finger jabbed in his face.

"But _one slip up_, and you never speak to me again," she declared. "Ever. _Got it?_"

He snapped to a cringing, sweat-dripping attention and saluted. "Uhh, yes _ma'am!_"

"Okay. Just want to lay out the ground rules," she told him with a thin smile, then looked disgusted. "Because before, you were just... _aughh_..."

He visibly withered. "Ohh... that charming, huh?"

She visibly cringed. "You have to _ask?_"

"Okay _okay_," he said, "lesson learned. Uhm... carry your bag?"

"No, that's okay. I'm trying-"

"Carry _you?_" he asked with a grin.

She gave him a dim look, muttering, "Here," handing it to him.

"Okay - _woah!_" The weight of it caught him off guard and it nearly pulled him over. "_Dang_, girl... what you got in this thing! Two weeks worth'a laundry or somethin'?"

"_Yes_, as a matter of fact," she informed him haughtily. "Well... sort of. It's the last day of gym class for the month. Why, _too heavy_ for big bad _Beast Boy?_"

"No! I got it," he replied a bit hotly. "I just didn't expect bowling balls to be part of the dress code, that's all."

She giggled, then informed him, "Nine towels, nine pairs of socks, nine gymsuits, five soccer outfits, nine... unmentionables-"

He began to blush a bit at that. "And all drippy wet, right?"

"Well _duh_. We get worked into a sweat and have to shower, ya know..." Her voice trailed away as she realized she was double dipping into a subject best kept from a young hormone-rich teen's pointy ears. And sure enough, he was looking down with a snaggletoothed grin and a bigger blush, drawling, "Yeaahhh..."

She cringed, covering her face in embarrassment, blurting, "Okay... _change of subject_..."

"Yeah... change of subject," he croaked out, almost as flustered. "Okay, so... to start with, what's your _name?_ I can't keep callin' you _girl_, _babe_, or _luscious lemon top_, ya know."

She needed a good laugh to clear the air, and when she stopped giggling, she murmured, "Wow, are you persistent. But... I guess that's fair, since I know yours. Uhmm... Angela Zitchin."

"Hey, that's pretty good. Initials from A to Z," he said to her, though he added under his breath, "Still not as cool as Terra-"

"_What was that?_" she snapped.

"Oh nothin'! Not a thing!" he exclaimed a bit too brightly. She didn't look too pleased by her expression, so he hoped to move things along quickly, admitting, "Ehh... just to be honest, ya don't really know _my_ name either. It's not Beast Boy; it's, uhhhmm... _Garfield_."

He didn't expect the reaction he got, as she gaped at him in shock for a few seconds, then fell onto her backpack, howling with laughter. "Oh, _cut it OUT...!_"

He looked heavenward with a masque of distress. "Dear God... _pleeease_ give me a new name that isn't a freaking one-word _punchline!_" He grabbed her hand and tried to haul her to her feet, as she was still laughing herself short of breath. "Come on, it's _not... that... FUNNY!_"

"Oh get _real!_ There's no _way...!_" she cackled, then her laughter caught in her throat as she saw how miserable he looked. That brought her up short instantly. "Oh... hey, I didn't know. I thought you were just kidding-"

"Yeah..." he grumbled, looking away. "That happens a lot... they laugh their silly heads off. That's why _I never tell anyone_."

She withered at the bitter tone in his voice, stroking lightly along his shoulder. She felt better as he untensed and turned to look at her. "Listen... you're right, it's not funny. It's just that... you're always poking fun, and it's hard to tell when you're serious."

"Yeah... guess that goes with always tryin' to be the life of the party, huh?" He wilted at how somber she looked, feeling stupid for letting something so minor wreck the mood. "Hey... it's cool, don't worry about-"

"No, I was rude to you, and I'm sorry," she assured him, but she couldn't hold back one last giggle. "It's just that... that's about the _last_ name I'd expect any parent to give someone so cool."

"Really? You think I'm _cool?_" he enthused.

"Yeah..." she began hesitantly, "let's just not put it on a billboard or something, okay?"

"Aw, why not? That would be awesome!" He gave her a huge grin that faded quickly. "Especially since my fanmail count has me at dead last."

"I can't believe that... _seriously?_" she exclaimed, to which he nodded dejectedly. "Well, listen. You'd be surprised how many kids in my school do artwork of you." She added dryly, beginning to dig through her backpack, "Even though most of them are _otaku_..." She drew out a piece of art paper, folding the edges together to hold it.

"Woah... all _righ-!_" he began enthusiastically, but before he could act out his jubilation, he deflated at the tone of her voice. "Wait... you make that sound like a not-cool thing. Otaku are cool! _Aren't they?_" he squeaked.

"Uhmm..." she began with a sheepish smile, looking aside, "_otaku_ are kids that never grow up, never go out, never kiss anyone, and live in their parent's basements all their lives hooked on the internet, manga and anime. Like the worst uber-geeks ev-"

"_WHAT?_" he cried, grabbing fistfuls of hair and completely forgetting the paper in her hand. "B-b-b-but... that's not _me!_ That Japanese babe called me - oh wait, she was a bad guy in disguise, wasn't she?"

She blinked at him in surprise. "_What_ Japanese babe?"

"Oh, hey, you gotta here this story!" he gushed, his voice seeming to pick up speed with each sentence. "See it all started when this mega-techno-ninja attacked the city last summer and did a serious nasty on the Tower, and we traced him to Japan 'cause he talked all Japanese and that's where ninjas come from anyhow, right? And so we flew there and Robin was all business and '_We gotta get this big nasty ninja_' and I was all like '_Hold on, VA-CA!_' and so they all went off to do their boring superhero stuff in spite of the cops bein' on top of it even though we found out later what _that_ was all about, when this _totally hot_ Japanese babe waves at me from down the street sayin' '_Otaku otaku_' and I was all '_Wait up!_'..."

And on it went for about five minutes straight, with short breaks for a gasp of air, as Beast Boy condensed the entire time spent discovering the truth behind Brushogun into the worst, most hard to follow gibberish ever. Even though she was half dizzy from the torrent of adolescent verbage, she could glean enough from the vocal debris to know that the Titans led the most thrilling lives ever, and hers was dirt stupid boring. "Wow... sounds you guys had a really awesome time over there. And you got to meet all those cute Japanese girls..." She thought to herself with a sigh, 'No wonder he didn't approach me for almost two years. The one guy who's shown any real interest in me... how can I compete with Orientals!'

He folded his arms behind his head with a satisfied grin. "Yeah... that was pretty darn sweet, I gotta say. But, none of 'em knew English, they're a bazillion miles away, _aaand_, most importantly, they're _not really any cuter_ than you."

She nearly fell over at that, and had trouble speaking for a few moments while her stomach did flops. "Ohh... _come on_. I'm too skinny, I have a head shaped like an egg and my eyes are too big."

He looked to her quizzically. "That's what Raven says! Man, _you_ two are the _worst_ when it comes to knowin' how totally sweet you look."

She blinked at him in perplexion. "Really? But... Raven looks great!"

"I rest my case," he told her, grinning triumphantly, though it faded as his eyes wandered her over. "Besides, you aren't skinny anymore. In fact, you look... _fine_..."

She looked torn for some time as she wrestled with inner turmoil, not knowing whether she felt pleased, embarrassed or afraid. Finally, she tossed her hair in a shake, looking downward as she murmured, "Uhhmm... could we change the subject, please?"

He deflated at that, mumbling, "Well... but there's nothin' left to talk about but school stuff, or your parentals-"

"That's fine," she shot back, but she did look more at ease.

"Okay, there is _one_ thing: _haoww_ much more o' this Oregon Trail is it to your home!" He was beginning to look weary.

She said with a smirk, "You wanted to walk me _home_, and _you_ took the _bag_, rememb-?"

"Hey, I _said_ I'm fine with your armored gym stuff, _okay?_" He gave her a face of mock irritation she couldn't misread, which slowly shifted into a snaggletoothed smile. When she giggled, he confessed to her, "See, it's just that... I was hopin' that I'd hear more of that along the way. I missed that so much... the sound of your voice... your laugh... _like you wouldn't believe_..." His voice trailed off wistfully, and his eyes shined into hers like crystal.

She found it hard to look away, then found she couldn't look away. Then noticed that they had been standing silently like that for some time, gazing into each other's eyes. But this time, it didn't feel nearly so uncomfortable; in fact, she rather liked it. But eventually her feminine wiles kicked in, and she forced herself along, knowing that Beast Boy would keep pace like a devoted pet. "Uhmm..." she began uncertainly, not sure what to say, and it took a few tries. "I guess... I can see why someone would say that..."

"You _guess?_ Girl, I'm _sayin'_..." he told her, to which she faced away self-consciously. It was obvious that she was trying not to smile, but her mixed up feelings confused him, having almost no experience with the basics of life and relationships, outside of the rather tortured ones of his superhero friends. And frankly, his days with the stern Doom Patrol were fraught with bad lessons he still struggled to unlearn. But he had grasped a few things, rightly or wrongly, from watching those romance shows with Starfire, and decided some gentle prying was in order. "Ya know, I don't get you. You don't seem like the kinda girl to go all emo or whatever. But anytime I say something the least bit nice about you, ya get all squishy 'n defensive 'n stuff. Is there like... problems?"

"_Beast Boy_..." she groaned, "this is getting close to that stuff that has me saying goodbye for the rest of your life-"

"Hey, I totally respect your privacy 'n all that," he said, putting his hand up as if to keep her from running away. "But... I want you to be happy. I wanna help, if I can."

His sincerity touched her heart, and she yearned for someone who could do that for her... wished at that moment that he could be the one. But still, she was uncertain. "Well... it's just that... you're trying _way_ too hard and fast to be my friend... ya know? And I hardly know you at all."

He looked to the ground sadly, his ears drooping, and she felt sorry for saying anything. "Ohh... yeah, I guess I am comin' on kinda strong, huh? Uhm... sorry about that. I'll try 'n chill out."

She heaved a sigh and tugged on her backpack straps, wishing she could take it all back. "Hey... I'm sorry too. I don't know why I'm like this. It's just that... life is complicated." She looked to the sky as if the answer was up there among the clouds. She began slowly, but her words began to tumble out. "It's... a million little things that add up to one big non-stop headache. I'm at that _stupid age_ when I'm not really a kid but not quite an adult but they still treat you like a kid and you're at the mercy of freaking _everyone_ and you just wanna scream at all the condescension, ya know?"

He shook his head ruefully, muttering, "Tell me about it."

She blinked at him in surprise. "_You too?_ Big bad _Beast Boy?_" She had to grin.

"Yeah," he drawled sourly, "_big bad_ at always bein' in the way, always sayin' the wrong things at the worst times possible, constantly messin' somethin' up, bein' on someone's crap list, especially Raven's... sometimes, I wonder if I even belong there." He heaved a melancholy sigh, staring down at the pavement in front of him.

He looked up as she stroked along his shoulder, and was gratified with a warm smile from her. "Hey, it can't be that bad or they wouldn't've put up with you for five years. Besides, it's nice to know I'm not the only one in this world who feels like a total misfit."

"Hey... thanks. Mostly," he said to her with a smile. He wanted to take her hand, but settled for brushing his against hers as it slipped away.

There was a brief hint of rose on her cheeks as they touched, and she had to clear her throat before she could go on. "And hey, if it's any consolation, Raven kinda... creeps me out."

"Oh, she creeps everyone out," he told her with a mischievous grin. "Even when you get to know 'er, she's almost always grumpy 'n gloomy. Ya know, the weird thing is, she acts like the spooky outcast all the time, when Robin, Cyborg 'n _she_ practically own the Tower! It's like Starfire 'n me are just there payin' rent or somethin'. But Star is always so-" he twirled his fingers in his cheeks with a big childish smile, squeaking, "_Tra-la-la_, all Rainbow Sprite positive about everything, so it's really _me_ that doesn't quite measure up. So I don't _even_ get Raven's whole pity party. Man, you should'a been there the past two days though, like the _worst_ - well... okay, the second worst-"

"What was the worst?" she interrupted curiously.

"Oh, it was that one time, that..." He realized with a start that those hideous days when Trigon had invaded their universe were ones that the world knew nothing of, other than the glimpse of a raging wall of energy that swept the globe, as everyone had been petrified stone the whole time. And the Titans had all sworn themselves to secrecy over it. "...Somethin' happened that... kinda _didn't_... oh, I'll tell ya later," he said waving her off. "Anyhow, _Miz Sunshine_ has been actin' all creepier than usual, even for her, and she's even been out _drinngglnnngg..._" He jerked his hands over his mouth a bit too late once again, and then smacked himself in the face with her gym bag with enough force to knock himself over with a squeak.

Angela knelt down to help him up, trying halfheartedly not to laugh as he fanned the odor of ripe laundry from his face. She set the paper aside she'd been holding, hopefully out of harm's way. "Wow... that sounds serious. Is that anything like _drinking?_"

He choked back a startled yelp as he gaped at her in dread. "I didn't say that... _didn't even_, okay? And you can't tell _anyone_ what... I didn't say."

She gave him a dim look. "Beast Boy, you're asking this of a woman-"

"No I'm not, _I'm begging you!_" He fell to his knees, clasping her hands in his and wailed, "_Please Terr - Angela!_ You gotta promise me on this! You got to! My so-called life - such as it is - may depend on it! Please, please, _please please pleasepleasepleaseplease_..." He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

She was so struck with his desperation that all her curiosity wilted away, and she nodded, saying over his stream of begging, "Okay, listen, I prom - okay. Hey, Beast Boy... _SHUT UP A MINUTE!_" When that scream in his face finally had him in stunned silence, and when she thought he recovered enough to hear her, she told him, "Look, if it means that much to you, I promise. I'll never say a peep about it. Cross my heart and hope to-"

"That's good enough," he said, catching her hand and clasping it with a warm smile. He lingered for just a few seconds to savor the moment, then let her go, picking up the bag from where it fell. He had a feeling if he hadn't released her, she would have pulled away herself. He caught sight of that paper on the ground, and his curiosity welled up. "Quick question... what is that? Were you gonna show me somethin'?"

"Oh! Uhmm... I forgot about that," she began hesitantly, blushing a bit as she stopped, leaning down to pick it up gingerly, as it was face down in the gravel. Which was a lie; she had actually been procrastinating. "_Sort_ of. I mean, I was... ya know, when you were all bent out of shape-"

"What is it?" he pried, standing uncomfortably close.

"Ohhh... just-" she murmured, flinching back from him when a car screamed along. The gust of wind from it snatched the paper from her, and it blew a good distance down the road. One side was rich with color. "Dang it!" she cried, beginning to chase after it.

"Angela!" he cried, grabbing her and yanking her back from the road as another car raced past, blasting its horn at her warningly. Unfortunately, it caught the paper on its front grill as it sped into the distance.

"Oh, I can't _believe this!_" she cried, swinging her fists as she threatened to run after it.

"_It's okay_, it's okay," Beast Boy told her, holding her fast. "It's not worth getting hit by a car over. Uhmm... what was it?"

"Oh... just some art I did..." she said falteringly, her fingers curling into the straps as she gazed unhappily down the road. She tried to satisfy herself with the thought that she _could_ have done a better job on it, but that was too much like sour grapes. Still, since the subject was the changeling, and was perhaps a bit suggestive of affectionate matters, maybe this was for the best.

"Ohh... uhm... I'm really sorry about this, but that can be replaced. You can't," he murmured regretfully. "I don't suppose you got any more, though?"

"I... _guess_..." She dropped her backpack and worked open a little portfolio, her fingers lingering on the edge of another piece. She began to feel self-conscious about it, and was about to drop it. "M-maybe... some other time-"

"Aw, come on!" he insisted. "You can't tease me like that... I wanna see it."

She hesitated, but she did want to know what he thought of her work. "It's just a little thing, but... it's easy to carry around," she told him, drawing the stiff art paper forth. It was mostly dark, but there were splashes of vivid color mixed in. "Here."

When he got a good look at it, he practically cried out in astonishment. It was a dramatic rendition of that time the dragon Melchior had decieved Raven and was fighting her over control of the Tower. He was wrapped around it, his claws digging into the walls and windows, and breathing fire at the tiny figure of the mystic who was blasting it back with all her might. Everything was drawn in incredible detail, and rich with carefully chosen colors "_Oh my GOSH!_" he squealed. "It's _beautiful!_ Can I have it, please, please please _please pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea se...!_"

"No - hey, _careful!_ Beast Boy, come _on_... _stop it!_" she ordered, afraid that he was going to mar it in his recklessly tight grasp, and finally she leaned forward, glaring, speaking in a voice of doom that caught his attention completely. "Let go, or _I'm done with you forever_."

That silenced him, though he looked pained as she managed, at last, to tug it from his hands. Smoothing out his finger creases, she muttered, softening a bit at his forlorn expression, "I swear... look, I'll make you another one. An even _bigger_ one, even _better_ than this, on illustration board... freaking _huge_." She spread her arms wide to demonstrate, as he still looked miserable at losing his prize.

"I don't see how... that one is _perfect_..." he murmured as she carefully placed it back in the portfolio. "Hey... got any more? Like anything of me?"

"Maybe-" she began, but had the presence of mind to put her hand up, catching him in the face as he practically lunged forward. "But I'll show you _later_, when you aren't so freaking _wired up._"

"Wired up? _Who's wired up-!_" he began, peering around her still outstretched hand, wilting at the dim look she gave him in reply. "Okay okay, I'll drop it a gear," he promised, picking up her bag as they continued along the road, which began winding along lush green hills running to a suburb near the bay. Wanting to get back on a happier footing, he asked, "So... are you an art major? You _gotta_ be, with that kinda talent-"

"Not really," she cut in. "I mean, I _am_ taking a bunch of art classes, but I'm focused on the sciences. In my senior year, I wanna study geophysics."

"I should'a known..." he started to say, falling silent from a dire look from the girl. "I mean... 'cause you look like a... rock hound. Yeah, _a rock hound!_"

"Yeah..." she muttered dryly. "Just _remember_ a certain verboten subject that'll get you shunned _forever. 'Kay?_" She wasn't seriously thinking of going that far, but the threat of it seemed to make a perfect leash, and it worked again like magic. She sighed, looking heavenward with regret. "Now, if only I wasn't going to... _that school_ for it..."

"Oh, is school bein' a pain?" he asked, grateful for the shift in attention.

"It's not just _any_ school," she moaned. "It's _Saint John Boscoe_ Catholic Academy..." she groaned out with a shudder. "_Aughh_... that place..."

This time it was Beast Boy's turn to fall over laughing. "Oh... _man! Seriously_... that was the guy's _name?_"

She nodded to him with a smirk. "I think he's neglected in America because of that poor goofy name of his. Not nearly as cool as Thomas Aquinas or John Baptist De La Salle or other patron saints of education, so the Ridgemont Diocese had pity on _him_ and afflicted him on _us_."

"Now I don't feel so bad about _my_ name-!" he began with a laugh, but froze in mid-chuckle, looking baffled. "Hey... _hold da phone_. What did you say _your dad's_ name was?"

"I didn't," she replied, "but it's Ezechiel Zitchin-"

"Isn't that like..." His voice trailed off as he struggled to sort through millions of unrelated memories to something he'd watched on one of the Supernormal Channel's shows about a UFO theorist with a similar name. "Russian Jew or something-?"

"Yeah, in fact. He's from Kazakhstan originally. Mom _was_ Katya Mariya Antonova, an Eastern Orthodox girl who converted them both to..." She groaned with a shiver, "_Flaming Roman Catholic_ when they migrated here. _Why_, I have _no_ idea..."

"So... you go to _a freaking Catholic school?_" he exclaimed in amazement.

She gaped back at him in shock. "_Hel-lo! Saint_ Boscoe _Catholic_ Academy? School _uniforms?_ And not to mention..." She began laughing at him again. "Oh _man_... and Mister Superhero failed to notice a twenty-five foot tall _Jesus figure on the front of the school?_ You _are_ good!"

He couldn't manage to fold his arms, so he squeezed his free hand under his tricep, turning away in a huff. "Well... I wasn't interested in the _architecture_, there... just _you_."

Her laughted faded quickly when she saw how offended he was. "Uhm... hey, I guess I'm picking on you again. Sorry." She looked aside with a sigh. "Of all the religions, though... _Catholicism?_ I guess Islam would'a been worse. And to think, he worked in the Russian _space_ program with mom..."

"Aww... it's okay," he murmured, flapping his hand. "It's just... that darn Raven's got everyone's nerves all in knots." Then he froze, his eyes doing funny things.

"So, just what is her problem, anyway-?" she began, when Beast Boy cut her off.

"_Woah_... girl, did you say your mom 'n dad are _honest-to-Sagan rocket scientists?_ That is _so mega-awesome!_" He was gaping at her in near veneration.

"Yeah it is, actually, _although_ Carl Sagan wasn't really a _rocket_ scientist," she added with a smirk.

"Close enough!" he gushed, undaunted. "So what did they do?"

"Oh, they were involved in all kinds of space projects," she said, obviously proud. "Launching the latest satellites - some of them _spy_ satellites, before the big push for global unity a couple decades ago; sending up sections of the Spaceport Station, astronauts, experimental gear... all kinds of stuff. Mom mostly worked in the graphics and P.R. departments - she's a _fantastic_ artist, but thanks to her technical background, she got called on when they needed help, which is how she met dad."

"You officially have the coolest parents ever," he said in a near-whisper, practically drooling, then asked more sanely, "So... how are things with your folks? _Are_ they cool?"

She had invited this, but now wasn't so sure she wanted to get into it. "Uhm... yeah, they're awesome. They adore me."

When she left it at that, he prodded her. "You sure don't act like it."

She combed her fingers through her hair dejectedly. "Well... it's because things are... strange, these days. Dad works long hours at this high tech firm, and his _special projects_ are messing up just about everything. He's hardly ever home anymore, mom's depressed, tempers are strained, and they can't figure out whether to act like I'm some dumb little kid or nearly an adult. It's... _really_ annoying."

He began with a chuckle, "Sounds like just about every American family with a teenage daughter these days-"

"Not helping," she interrupted with a dim look. "And it also doesn't help that they're from the _old country_ where parents are dictators and they can send you to _Siberia_ for just messing up little things."

"_Ouch_... should'a seen that one comin'," he mused. "So... have ya tried talkin' to 'em?"

"Hey, we _used_ to talk," she grumbled. "But now, dad's gone a lot, is always defensive when I want to discuss things, and mom defers to dad and doesn't want to seem weak or whiney when she has problems. And when he _is_ home, he drinks. A _lot_... there's just a bunch of really dumb, pointless tension lately."

"Maan..." he murmured, "this is a tough one."

"Tell me about it..." she whispered glumly.

At first, he was befuddled, but once again, he drew on his newfound _wealth_ of knowledge gained from watching romance flicks with Starfire. "Well... maybe you just need to work on the common interest angles, diplomatically 'n stuff. Like... have your mom show off her artwork, see if she'd give you some advice on your own style - _really great_ style, by the way," he added, which had her grinning sheepishly. "And your dad - well, mom too, I bet they'd love to yack about old times at the Russian spaceport. Didja get to see any space shots with 'em?"

He nearly choked as he realized that if this was indeed Terra, which she really _had_ to be, she couldn't have been with these adopted scientists for more than a few short years. But then, there was what she said next; she looked aside with a perplexed look on her face, admitting, "I... don't remember..."

He gaped at her in shock. "Girl, it's been a few _years_ now, hasn't it? Amnesia like that isn't natural! Haven't your parents tried to-?"

"_Of course they have, you idiot!_" she shouted. "I can't tell you how many specialists I've seen, and I stump 'em all! The big mystery girl with the missing life no one can recover! And I bet it means that I'm not supposed to know! _I bet everyone I ever loved is-!_"

She whirled around, because she couldn't bear to look at his devastated face, nor could she bear to let him see hers, as she buried her head in her hands, trying hard not to cry, but failing. He finally drew a deep breath to settle himself, trudging forward, and reached for her shoulder. This was the real problem eating at her: years of life, stolen from her by a frightening, impenetrable amnesia. "Uhm... Ter - uh, _sorry_, sorry. _Angie_, listen... I'm sorry, _really_-"

"Let's promise... to never bring this up again," she blubbered solemnly, wiping her face and snuffling, then turned to face him, though she still looked and sounded miserable. "Okay? And... let's keep it to Angela. For now."

"Alright, I will," he replied earnestly. "But before I do, I have to ask you one thing."

She took a step away from him, looking fearful. "W-what is it?"

He edged forward, asking as gently as he could, "What did you start to say, about everyone you ever loved? You don't mean anything... _bad_, do ya?"

She hugged herself and turned away, looking frail and forlorn. "I'm... _afraid_, Beast Boy. I don't know anyone... _anything_... prior to a few years ago. Just my parents, a few friends... even this world is strange to me." She added faintly, "And I think I'm the reason for it somehow."

"_No_," he insisted, standing in front of her and reaching for her hand. "Angela, listen. You _aren't responsible_ for anything like that, so get that outta your head, okay?"

She jerked her hand back. "Oh yeah? Like how would _you_ know!"

"Because that's just messed up," he went on, trying to sound convincing. "And what you said... you don't mean to say that you don't even really love your _parents_, do ya?"

She hung her head, wishing for this inquisition to end. "Can't we drop this and just get to the promising part?"

"But Angela... you keep sayin' these strange things that don't make any sense! I know that parents are sometimes weirdoes that... well, don't make sense either, but you gotta know that you mean the world to them! And they have'ta know that you appreciate all the stuff they do to give you a good life, do nice things for ya, just because you're their little girl-"

"Stop it!" she cried. "This is what scares me... that I'll lose everything I care about... _everyone_... _like before_..." Tears beaded in her eyes afresh and ran down her cheek as she again faced away from him.

He couldn't bear to see her cry, grasping her hand from behind, startling her. "Listen to me. You blame yourself for it all, don'cha. Everything that goes wrong, everything that messes up your day, your life... you think you're responsible, right?"

"W-well... I don't see anyone else to blame," she blubbered. "Do you-?"

"Okay, _you_ stop it! That's just crazy!" he told her sternly, turning her around. "Lemme tell you somethin'. Raven may be a gloomy crank most o' the time, but she's really smart, and she schooled me about this thing called the self-fulfilling prophecy. Ya know, that if ya get somethin' stuck in yer head, and believe in it long enough, that you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, if for nothin' else than to keep from drivin' yourself crazy. And girl, I've seen it happen before! Robin got himself so worked up over this mega-bad guy called Slade that he nearly _killed_ himself in an imaginary fight with the dude! And it was all in his _head!_"

She leaned against a utility pole, hugging herself to it and looking away. It was an old wooden pole, rough and splintered, but she didn't care. "Buh... but, everyone else _is_ gone!" she insisted. "Even my _memories-!_"

"So? Are you gonna run all your life, make everyone gone all over again? You know you want people around that care for you, or you wouldn't be talkin' like this. We're all dyin' to help you... you gotta know that. Don't push us away... don't push _me_ away, please?" He spoke her name softly, hoping to soothe her fears and moved into view once more, but it felt too much as if he was trying to entrap her, and she flinched away as he clutched at her hand. Her eyes popped open and she gasped as a sharp pain lanced through her cheek.

"Angela!" he cried as blood flowed from a long cut, caused by a sharp edge on the pole. He opened a pouch on his belt to draw out a sanitized towelette that smelled of lemon. "Here... hold still a minute. This is gonna hurt-" She hissed as he touched it to her cheek, wiping along the line of the cut as gently as he could to clean the blood. "A lot... _stupid old pole_. Uhm... this'll prob'ly hurt too, ya got a big splinter in there." He withered as she squeezed her eyes shut, hissing, but not much else, as he worked to remove it as gingerly as he could with tweezers, then squeezed some skin glue from a small tube into the wounds to seal them, pressing the flesh together gently to finish up. "Whew..." he wheezed, "sorry for the pain, but Doctor Bee is all done. Feel better?"

"Some... thanks. I guess I shouldn't've been so stupid to start with." She looked to him briefly with a thin smile. "You said my right name... thanks for that too."

"Eh, if I did, it was an accident, but hey, I'm tryin'," he admitted with a grin. He squeezed her hands reassuringly, gazing intently into her frightened eyes. "Angela, listen to me. You gotta stand up to your fears and break this cycle. If you were bad, I could maybe see what you said bein' true. But girl... you're _so good!_ I can just tell by bein' around you. I got animal instincts that ya can't lie to. You just had rotten luck, that's all. You got good parents, right?" She nodded meekly. "And... hopefully, you still want me around, at least every _once_ in a while." When she didn't answer right away, he looked to the ground, his ears drooping. "Ohh, well..."

"Yeah... I do," she murmured. As he began to give a joyful exclamation, he was interrupted by the girl gripping him in a stranglehold of a hug, squeezing him fiercely as she shivered from an inner storm of emotions. "Just... hold me for a minute, will you?" she whimpered as her tears ran down both their cheeks. "I wanna feel like... it's true... what you said... _that things will be good from now on_..."

He wrapped her gently in his arms, squeezing her back lightly. "Hey... come on, babe. It'll be all right, it _will_. You'll see. Anything I can do for you, just name it." He wanted to enjoy this moment, something he'd only dreamed of, but couldn't. She was too devastated, at the mercy of her rampant fears, and his stomach ached with sympathy for her. Even worse than the tears was the shaking, and he whispered urgently, "Angela... please, sweetheart, calm _down_-"

"Be quiet. Just... hold me, and let me cry," she sobbed. "It... makes me feel better..."

It took some time, and his shoulder became damp from all her tears, but finally they dwindled, and her quaking stopped, and her breathing slowed. She pulled away from him, but he couldn't let go of her hand. And as hers lingered in his, she found it comforting. They sat on their respective packs as he held hands with her, simply gazing into each other's eyes as the sun crept slowly towards the horizon, painting everything with gold. "You look so pretty... with the sun shinin' on ya like this," he told her softly. "I want your life to be just as nice for you, so you never cry again."

"Thank you..." she whispered, looking like she wanted to cry once more, but this time with joy, a warm smile on her lips. "I feel all mixed up, but... better. You give me hope that... you're right about all this. I guess... we'll see, huh."

He nodded, squeezing her hand fondly. "Yeah... we'll see, together. _You'll see_," he added with a wink.

She couldn't help but laugh at that, as he was the easiest person to cut it up with her that she had ever met. Before she knew it, though, she grasped him by the shoulders, kissing him on the forehead. She did it thoughtlessly, but didn't want to stop it, her lips lingering on his skin as he shivered from the tender act of affection. She burst out laughing as he fell over, an idiotic grin on his face, blinking back happy, relieved tears.

As he collected himself and sat back down on the bag of laundry, blinking, he asked incredulously, "Uhm... not that I _mind_ or anything, but... where the heck did _that_ come from!"

She curled her fingers to her lips, murmuring, "Ohh... inside, I guess. I, uhm... don't think I'm ready for a... _real_ kiss, yet, but... someday..." She looked aside, blushing beet red and smiling.

He wilted at that, as another lifetime ago, on a night with a girl named Terra in a ferris wheel, they had nearly shared their lips in a romantic moment. But this was a different girl, struggling with different demons, and things would have to go a little more gently, he realized. But, maybe he could enjoy a little something with her...

Her breath caught in her throat as he stood in front of her, watching wide eyed as he took his gloves off and bowed to her. She couldn't bear to look, closing her eyes, her lips parting on their own. She gasped as his lips touched her flesh, but to her surprise, on her forehead, as she had done with him. She burned with regret that he hadn't done the manly thing, but then, she had threatened him so much in that walk home, he was probably afraid to be too forward, wasn't he? But, not _too_ afraid, and she gasped as he cupped her face in his hands. Soft, strong, gentle hands, loving hands. As she clasped his hand more firmly to her cheek, he murmured, gazing deep into her eyes, "Yeah... someday, when you're ready, I have a kiss wait'n for you. A real one. I promise."

She nodded with a smile, whispering, "Me too." He gave a little yelp of surprise as she bowled him over in another hug, both of them tumbling to the ground beside the road as she clung to him fiercely, clenching the fabric of his suit in tight fists. "Ohh, Beast Boy..." she whimpered, laying her head against his, "I can't believe I made you go away for two years. If you were the one person who could help me... I am _so_ gonna scream..."

"Hey, I'm a slow learner too," he told her with a smile, making her chuckle again through fresh tears. He savored a few moments of her warm presence, lying on top of him, but knew that he had to get things moving again; it was likely getting towards her supper time. "Uhm... listen, as much as I'd _love_ for this to drag on for like... a few days or so, I'd better get you home, or we're gonna be campin' out here."

She lifted herself up to gaze down at him, straddling his belly, her cheeks wet once more, but with a smile. "Yeah... and you'd be smelling of sour gym clothes," she snuffled.

"Among other things," he professed as he stroked her tears away, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah..." she murmured fretfully, clasping his hand in hers. "I just... wish..."

"Hey, there's tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that... there's a lot o' days in a lifetime, ya know," he said with a grin, causing that laugh he couldn't hear enough.

"You silly..." she chuckled as she offered him a hand up.

"That's me, all right," he said, rising to his feet, and as he dusted himself off with his gloves, murmured with a twinge of regret, "Me 'n my scruples..."

She caught that and blushed bright red, looking away as she tried to calm herself down. "Uhm... listen, the school is having a friday evening soccer game... and I'm playing." Her fingers curled in her hair as she added hesitantly, "I'd... appreciate it if you'd come watch..."

"It's a date!" he declared, causing her to jump. "Uhm... I mean... sure, heh. Uhh... and hey, I have an email addy 'n all... uhmm..." He was angry at himself for suddenly going completely tongue-tied and flustered like a little kid.

"Oh, I know that-" she began, then blinked at herself in shock.

"You _do?_" he asked in surprise.

"Uhm... _yeah!_ I mean, you _said_, right?" she said a bit too loudly.

When it occurred to him what her reaction implied, he gave her a big, toothy grin. "Why, yes... yes I did." It melted into an honest, warm smile as he took her hand. "Eh, come on, let's get you home, so you can get that homework outta the way."

"Thanks for reminding me," she grumbled, though she bumped him with her hip playfully.

When they finally reached her home, she stiffened, snatching her hand back. A pair of adults, obviously her parents, were standing in the door of a large two story house, and stared at them with concern all over their faces. Angela waved jovially as they walked up the driveway, beginning, "Hey, mom, dad, this is-"

"...In this house right this _minute_, young lady!" Ezechiel called, having begun talking over her in a thickly laced accent. "Where were you all this time!"

"Uhm... with _me?_" Beast Boy said with a sheepish wave. "Hey, listen, she was perfectly-"

"I was perfectly-" she said together with him, but the father interrupted.

"And what were you doing with that _creature?_" he demanded.

Angela looked to the youth in humiliation as he gathered himself, trying to fight back an angry retort. "That's American _citizen_ creature to _you_, _popski_," he grumbled. "Listen, maybe you just flew in from _Mars_ or somethin' and aren't up on the news of the last _decade_ or so, but I happen to be one o' the _Teen Titans_."

"Beast Boy," she hissed warningly, "ease _up_."

"Dear, please..." said Katya at the same time, reaching for her husband's arm. While she seemed pretty, something about her reminded Beast Boy uncomfortably of Madame Rouge.

He brushed her off. "Get in this house this _instant!_" he ordered. "We were sick with worry over you! You know that there are riots breaking out in the city these days! And here, you were out running around with this _hooligan!_"

"He's not a hooligan and he's not a _creature!_" the girl shouted hotly, taking his hand. "He's my _friend!_ His _name_ is..." She began to say _Beast Boy_, but was afraid that his team name wouldn't help her cause. Finally, she declared, "Garfield!"

"Aheh..." he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. "That's me... good ol' _Garfield_..."

The man's eyes seemed to burn through the youth like heat vision. "I trust that I am _not_ going to be displeased by the _explanation_," he growled. "Now _do as you are told_, young lady!"

She turned around to stand in front of the teen, still holding his hand. "I'm sorry," she told him guardedly, "he's not usually this bad, but like I said, things at work have been kind of strained lately."

He looked to her in dismay. "Girl, if this is _strained_, I'd hate to see a meltdown! So what is the _deal?_ Did they get sold into Chinese slave labor or _what!_"

"Angela!" the man shouted angrily.

"A _minute!_" she yelled over her shoulder. As she looked to the changeling, her gaze became forlorn, almost fearful again. "See me tomorrow after school?" she begged, giving his hand a hard squeeze.

"Wouldn't miss it for all the free pizza in the world," he murmured with a smile, squeezing her hand back warmly. Then before he could think of what he was saying, he added, "Kiss kiss."

He withered as fresh tears ran down her cheeks, and she whispered back, "Kiss kiss..." Then, grabbing her bag and turning on her heels, she stormed to the front door where she growled, "Hey, mom, dad... _thanks for making a damn scene_."

"_Inside_," he ordered icily, casting a viperous glare to the young teen before passing through the doorway himself. Angela lingered in the threshold, her eyes locked in Beast Boy's, looking haunted, almost desperate, as if pleading for him to rescue her, until her mother finally closed the door on them.

He stood there for several moments, transfixed, unable to take his eyes from the door which stole his beloved Angela from him. It hurt that the last sight he had to cling to was of her in tears. Finally, anger welled up in him towards the parents, who he had believed to be such good, trustworthy, _cool_ people. "I dunno why I thought so much of you two," he grumbled. "_I_ went into space _myself_. I even traveled to other _planets!_ It's no biggie..."

As he trudged down the plascrete driveway to the road, one of the neighbor kids called to him, "How's it goin', _Garfield!_"

He stumbled, half-crying, "Just perfect... my _whole life_ has just officially done a nose dive right into The Stupid Zone..."

"Angela!" Ezechiel shouted in the entranceway as the girl dropped her things in the livingroom. "You know that I expect you to do as you are instructed, without deviation!"

"I know..." she muttered tiredly, watching through the front windows sadly as Beast Boy shuffled off. Then in a robotic, Russian-tinged voice, she intoned, "No deviations are permitted according to zis unit's programmink-" A stream of rough, almost jagged sounding syllables poured angrily from the man, while the wife tried fervently to talk him down. Angela wanted to pull her hair out, shouting, "You know that speaking Kazakh or Russian around me isn't fair!" She folded her arms at the couple as they fell silent, asking him pointedly, "So, is work still being a _pain_, dad?"

"Oy..." he breathed out sourly, leaning against the wall. "You need not worry about that. I want to know why you are running around with a little green..." He had trouble settling on a word that she understood which wasn't too offensive. "Hobgoblin!"

"He's a _friend!_" she exclaimed. "A word I expect you to learn _quickly!_"

"Do not mock your father!" he began angrily, seizing her arm in a tight fist and giving her a jerk, when he noticed how she winced. Then he saw spots of blood on her blouse, and the cut in her cheek, partly concealed by Beast Boy's first aid. Unsettled by this revelation, his accent darkened even more. He reached for her face, asking in concern, "Vwat happened?"

"N-nothing," she muttered, trying to work free of his grasp, and he relented. "I wasn't looking where I was going and... ran into a pole. Beast Boy took care of it. He's very nice," she half-lied. Her voice and gaze became accusing again. "Which is something I've been wanting to experience around here for a couple of months now. I haven't felt very much at home lately! I miss my _dad!_" This seemed to wound him deeply, and he practically stumbled into a chair while the two women gazed at him in regret and concern. She wanted to cry again, gasping loudly, "I-I'm sorry... _I didn't mean that_..."

After muttering to himself for a few moments, he waved to his daughter. "_Krutaya_, come here. Please." She hesitated uncertainly for a moment, but finally drifted over, placing her hand in his. He rubbed his coarse, thick, Kazakhian thumb over the back of her hand softly. "You know... that you are the delight of our lives, your ma and me. If you do not, then I am a very wretched, sad excuse for a father."

"No, you aren't..." she murmured, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "You're a very good father. I'm just a rotten daughter-"

"You are _not_," he chuckled as Katya slipped her hand over her shoulder, wishing to comfort her. "You are just young, and confused. Am I right?"

"Uhm... yeah..." she whimpered. "Life is being... stupid. School, and... things. But... it's more than that. I... _still can't remember_..."

He heaved a big, hearty sigh, giving her hand a squeeze. "I am sorry that we have been unable to help you with that. But, in a way, I am glad. It means that all you know is your life with us, and you have no way of knowing how much better other parents can be." He gave her a little smile and a wink.

She learned early on that Russian humor was atrocious, and this was no exception, as it made her feel dreadful. She dealt with it as best she could, but couldn't hold back the tears as she hugged the middle-aged scientist which she knew as her father. "Please... don't talk like that. I can't imagine myself with anyone else..."

He patted her shoulder a bit firmly, but that's how he was. "Vwell... I am certainly happy for that. But, you _can_ imagine yourself with _Mister Beast?_" he asked directly.

She drew back, feeling ill from the tumult of emotions spinning in her gut, though what was welling up the strongest just then was anger. If he was being xenophobic, she knew she'd give him a punch. "Dad, look... he's a nice guy. Much like any other kid. He just _happens_ to have super powers. And he makes me feel better."

"There had _better not be_ the usual adolescent reasons for _that_," he grumbled, bear-like.

"_No!_" she exclaimed in frustration. "We just talked, that's all. Which is something _we used_ to do... what I'd like to do _now_."

He heaved a weary sigh, and she was afraid she knew what he was going to say. "Vwell... I'm afraid I must disappoint you today also. I must go back to verk. I vill not be staying for supper."

Her mother drew a deep breath, clearly disappointed as well. She was wearing a dress, a red dress. They had planned on going out tonight; relieving tension, having fun, probably coming back very late after she went to bed to enjoy each other intimately as married couples do. Angela thought they were charming, romantic, and accepted her room at the opposite end of the house so they could enjoy a measure of privacy. But as usual, their plans were wrecked, and he wouldn't say a word about it. Her world came apart one piece more. How much longer until she disappeared? "That's okay," she said in lifeless resignation. "I have homework anyway. But... could I listen to some of your music before supper?"

"Of course, _krut'ya_-" he began, reaching for her hand, but she had already flitted off for the family room. "Not too much, though, and not too _loudly_. You know how you hate it when your mother has to barge in-"

"I know," she called back, but for a while, she would need that volume badly.

He had a massive library, and with classical music, it spanned more than a century. Though as a boy enamored with the freedoms of America and Europe, fueled with the lingering spunky, revolutionary attitudes of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher from the previous century, he had become addicted to western rock music. His massive library was a treasure trove, as he had the money to buy as much of it as he wanted. Obviously, he wanted a lot.

As she picked out several discs, she could hear him rumbling guardedly to her mother, "Be sure to set the alarm when I leave."

His voice was far too deep and aggressive to conceal well, so she occasionally caught bits of conversation not meant for her ears. Future-Dyne was a bleeding edge company working on everything from military projects, nano-devices and cold fusion to potential star-drive technology, so discretion was an obvious necessity. But his overly secretive behavior was getting on her nerves, not to mention the unpleasant turmoil that came with it, and mother wouldn't talk about it. "Seriously, dad, what's with the cloak 'n dagger attitude all the time?" she muttered as she tromped up the stairs to her room.

She grabbed her laptop from her dresser and flung herself on her brightly colored bed. The whole room was done up in a shoutingly cheerful, cartoony, pastel motif better suited to a young child, not a middle-teen, and though it usually didn't bother her, today it was unpleasantly eye-gouging. She knew just what she wanted to hear, or watch, pulling one album from the pile, slipping the second disc into the computer drive and jamming earbuds into place.

Among many artists from the end of the 20th Century, one which stood out prominently was a Brit named Peter Gabriel, who mangled everyday reality into strange, dystopian worlds, like some mad herald created by Alfred Hitchcock. One song in particular became something of an anthem for her, though not a happy one; she tabbed to it and pushed the volume up all the way. The video which accompanied the music was a disturbing twist on the life of the disfunctional. Filled with almost naked, bald men painted white as if buried, painful fragments of his life, their faces twisted and grotesque, they tormented and hounded Peter relentlessly through a ruined alternate reality as he scrambled desperately to find one shred of who he really was. He began uttering clipped, garbled, obscene sounding gibberish as the music pounded into her ears, and she began shivering. She couldn't remember how many times she'd watched it, but it seemed particularly brutal today.

_I got no means to show identification  
><em>_I got no papers show you what I am  
><em>_You'll have to take me just the way that you find me  
><em>_What's gone is gone and I do not give a damn_

_Empty stomach, empty head!  
><em>_I got empty heart, and empty bed!  
><em>_I don't remember  
><em>_I don't remember!_

_I don't remember, I don't recall  
><em>_I got no memories of anything at all  
><em>_I don't remember, I don't recall  
><em>_I got no memories of anything  
><em>_Anything at all_

_Strange is your language, I have no decoder  
><em>_Why don't you make your inentions clear?  
><em>_With eyes to the sun and your mouth to the bottle, saying  
><em>_"Tell me the truth, you got nothing to fear"  
><em>_  
>Stop staring at me like a bird of prey!<br>__I'm all mixed up, I got nothing to say!  
><em>_I don't remember!  
><em>_I don't remember!_

_I don't remember, I don't recall  
><em>_I got no memories of anything at all  
><em>_I don't remember, I don't recall  
><em>_I got no memories of anything  
><em>_ANYTHING AT ALL!_

He began crying out in wild, primal, tribal phrases, as the words NOW and HERE merged on the screen to form one.

NOWHERE

He stood on a precipice leading only to death. A blowdart struck beside a family picture hanging from a dingy wall, which fell and shattered among filth. The sharp lines of fracture cut through the three figures in it. Sliced painfully through her own soul.

Tears pouring down her cheeks, she threw herself forward, buried her face in her pillow and screamed. Again and again, louder, till she curled up from the pain. Inwardly, she wailed, 'Beast Boy... save me, please...'

From the depths of the earth came a dark, ominous rumble; for a few moments, the ground trembled for dozens of miles.

He had become a gull, and flew to the Tower across the bay. As he landed and resumed his proper form, something made him look back sharply from whence he'd come. Everything looked serene along the coast, but something disturbed him. Clasping his hands as if in prayer, he said pleadingly, "Angela... baby, if you're in trouble, _tell me_. Any way you can, sweetheart. I'm just right over here." He could only hope that she wasn't doing that very thing...

* * *

><p>Robin tried for about the hundredth time to work up the nerve to knock on Starfire's door. He had to buy another tuxedo and shoes, since he had outgrown the suit left over from that ridiculous evening when he had been blackmailed into dating Killer Moth's obscenely bratty daughter, Kitten. In his arms was a truly immense bouquet of dozens of roses - he'd forgotten if it was sixty or seventy-two or whatever. But inside, he could hear the alien girl crying and whimpering to herself, sounding utterly pathetic, and so he resumed pacing, trying to convince himself that a face-to-face with her wouldn't result in an unpleasant scene. "Yeah... right," he muttered to himself. "She flew <em>through<em> the walls of the Tower to get away from me. I'll be lucky if she doesn't blast me..." And on he paced.

Starfire sprawled across her bed on her tummy, her pillow drenched with tears, as Silky dutifully licked them from her cheeks. But they were becoming raw from this undue attention from the larva, and eventually, she had to push the creature away. "Please, Silkie... stop," she moaned, "your licking is becoming quite painful. Although it is nothing compared to the torment which afflicts my heart... _ohh_..." she whined, tears welling up anew as she rolled onto her back, clutching one of her pillows. "How have the past two days fallen into such dreadful ruin? I was _so_ looking forward to enjoying the time of Khemelmesh'd with my friends... and now, we are divided by foolish troubles which should not be. It is like... the Rekhmaz has befallen us all, dividing us..." She whimpered as tears trickled into her ears, "And now, Raven is suffering from the drinking... and Robin, the one I care for more than any other... has found other legs to stare upon... _rather than mine_..."

Silkie nuzzled against her, rubbing its face against her cheek, as it had never seen the girl in a pit of such misery before. It gave a squeak as Starfire grasped it in an uncomfortably tight hug, squirming as it tried vainly to escape. She sobbed, "If only... Robin would come to me... to appologize... to say _anything_, if only to let me know that I still mean... _something_ to him-"

She gave a feminine yelp as the larva bit her forearm. She released it out of reflex, and it skittered to the edge of her bed, panting for breath. "Ohh... I am sorry. I did not mean to-" she whimpered, reaching for it, but it feared another suffocating hug from the girl and bolted off with a sqeal for the safety of its bed near the closet. She sat up, hugging her legs to her chest, fresh tears running down the salty trails left from an afternoon of misery. "I am afraid that some horrible curse has fallen on us all... even I cause trouble and heartache for my friends. Ohh... if only my own heart would stop beating... _bring an end to this horrible suffering_..." she wailed.

Abruptly, there was an urgent knock at the door, which sent her scurrying under her covers, as if they could see through the walls and catch sight of her in this embarrassing state. She felt foolish and climbed from under them, sniffling weakly, "Who _is it?_" Unfortunately, because of all the crying, her ears were a bit wooly, and it was impossible to make out the words, or who it was clearly as they answered. "Raven... _Beast Boy?_" she asked tentatively as she crept to her door, and after some trepidation, decided to open it if only to see who it was. She gave a loud gasp at the sight of that familiar mask and spikey head full of hair gel which just managed to peek over a huge tissue-wrapped armload of some kind. "Ohh, _Robin!_" she exclaimed, throwing herself face first into a massive bundle of thorns.

She squeaked in alarm as she suffered a number of scratches, backing away as Robin cried, "Starfire - _careful!_"

"I - I am sorry!" she blurted out in confusion, not knowing what to make of this baffling obstacle. "I did not mean to disrupt... whatever strange Earth tradition this is-"

"These are _roses_," he explained with a half-hearted smile. "It's what guys give to the girl they intend to... uhm..."

She blinked back tears as she edged forward with a smile. "Oh... Robin, you... purchased these freshly killed plants for-" she began sweetly, then she gave a loud gasp as she caught sight of a painfully familiar black suit on him.

"_Hey!_" Robin exclaimed as the door slid shut with a bang.

"You are _going out_ with that... _f'nark-nosed fimblarg Kitten?!_" she cried, then leaned against the door, weeping bitterly all over again. "Truly... this is the most horrible day that I have ever lived..."

"Oh! _Hell-eck_... heck no!" he laughed. "Starfire, listen... I bought these _freshly killed flowers_ for you."

The door immediately slid back open, and a repentant if tear-stained girl stood in the opening. She snuffled meekly, "Please, Robin... forgive me for jumping to a very lofty conclusion. The past two days have been a painful ordeal for me. Do come in, please."

"They have for everyone, believe me," he told her as he entered. Unfortunately, the immense bouquet was wider than he realized, and the open end caught on the doorway. Half of the flowers spilled out, and as he tried to catch them, he ended up flinging most of the remainder all over the room.

"Uhmm... _thank you_, Robin," Starfire said with an uncertain smile, trying to sound grateful as she pulled one of them gingerly from her hair. "For... spreading these roses throughout my room so... florally."

"Yeah, but I didn't _mean to_-" he began when Silkie emerged, wide eyed and ravenous, and began devouring the roses as fast as it could. "Oh, for crying out _loud-_" Robin groaned, finishing tiredly, "Bon appetit."

They both looked to each other resignedly, but the humor of the moment had them both laughing in seconds. Her breath caught in her throat as Robin handed the immense but mostly empty package to her, murmuring with an embarrassed smile, "Uhm... these are for you. What's left of them."

His own breath caught short as she told him in the sweetest voice he had ever heard from her, "They are lovely, Robin... thank you." She took a deep breath from the opening, drinking in the fragrance which lingered in the bundle. "They smell very... rosey."

Neither one could resist a laugh from Starfire's inevitably awkward wording, and when it worked itself out, Robin took her hand with a sigh, giving it a squeeze. "Listen... I want to appologize. What I said today... it was just stupid-"

"As was my reaction," she admitted as she set the bouquet on her bed. "I am afraid... that I will fall under the power of my emotions from time to time like that... and I am sorry that I caused you such worry for nothing-"

"No, it wasn't for nothing," he told her, his voice growing soft. "I needed it to remind me... just how important you are... to me..."

As Silkie continued to vacuum up the flowers strewn around the room, the young couple were lost in each other's gaze for some time. Starfire broke the silence at last, in a voice sweet and tender. "You are... dressed as is the custom... for a young male to bring along... a young female aquaintance... on an evening out, are you not?"

"Yeah... that was the idea," he replied. "I wanted to make up for the nonsense I put you through today... in a special way." He edged forward until they were practically touching.

His closeness caused her cheeks to flush a vivid pink. "Uhmm... then perhaps... I should freshen up, as they say... and will be ready within a half hour." She began to run her fingers through his hair, and in spite of the gooey substance which kept his locks firmly in place, it took a few moments for her to notice. Making a face as she pulled her gel-coated hand back, she asked him hesitantly, "Uhm, perhaps... you could have a little... _less_ of the substance in your hair this evening? In case... I want to..." She blushed even redder, unable to continue.

"I'll take a quick shower," he blurted out hoarsely, practically lunging for the door, and sent Silkie spinning across the carpet as he caught the unwary larva with his toe.

She clutched her gooey hand to her bosom for a moment of lurid, romantic fantasy, only to interrupt it with a squeal of displeasure when she realized that her hands were sticking together. Shaking the goo off, the glob splashing onto Silkie's head, she threw off her clothes and literally flew into her restroom for her bath things.

She was dismayed to find the one bathroom occupied, the shower running full blast. She growled angrily, "Now, who in the world could be taking a shower at _this particular __moment...!_" Stifling her ire, she knocked on the door, saying as politely as she could, "Uhm... _excuse me_ please, but... will this be taking long-?"

"Oh! Uhh, I'll hurry, Starfire!" Robin shouted back from inside. "I'm sorry!"

"Oh! That is all right!" she said brightly with a wave as if he could see her through the door, having completely forgotten what he'd told her. "Take your time!"

"_No!_ I'll... uhm..." he began, and just then the water stopped, followed by a commotion. She wasn't thinking straight, waiting patiently for him to exit. When the door opened a moment later, both of them cried out as he stood there with a towel clutched around his waist, which _just_ managed to conceal the embarrassing parts. Barely. Until he bolted for the corridor.

She choked on another scream, her bath things flung into the air as she pulled the hood of the robe down over her eyes. "I am _so sorry!_" she exclaimed, but couldn't resist one last glimpse of the man she loved, in his entirety, before he vanished around the corner. At least the rear entirety.

She jumped as there was another outcry in that direction from Beast Boy. "_Dude!_ What the heck is _WRONG with you!_"

As Robin shouted back a brief appology, she kicked her things into the bathroom and dove inside, slamming the door shut. As she caught her breath, her heart racing, she had to laugh at the misadventure she had just gone through. And as she settled into her shower, she couldn't resist enjoying a little fantasy of what it must be like to have him there, with her, helping out... among other things...

* * *

><p>Robin stood outside her door, tugging on his collar as perspiration ran down his cheeks. He felt humiliated from the encounter at the bathroom, muttering as he dabbed at his face with a handkerchief, "At this rate, I'll need another shower. What must she be thinking?"<p>

Starfire had to shake herself out of her reverie, thoughts of chasing Robin down the corridor with nothing but the towel on flooding her mind. "I will be just a few minutes longer!" she called through the door as Silkie mopped up the last bits of the roses from the room. She was browsing the internet for dating tips between dressing, and some of them had her blushing more than she had in her entire life, and her hormones raging. "What is this... intimate protection they speak of?" She looked at a small foil packet on the screen, but it was unfamiliar to her. "Whatever it is, I am sure that I do not have any." She rolled on some deodorant under her arms, then for good measure, rubbed it all across her back and tummy under the pink dress she had saved from prom night, as she couldn't seem to cool down. She growled at herself angrily, "Oooh... stop perspiring you... _stupid garblofted body of mine-!_"

"Is... anything the matter?" Robin asked nervously through the door.

"_Nuuuthiiiing!_" she called back in a singing tone as she fluffed out her dress several times to bring some air under it, hoping to cool herself off. "Heavenly _Space_, I must calm myself down," she murmured, then picked up the larva, rubbing noses with it, saying, "Now Silkie, you be a good little-" It belched in her face, a puff of rose petals settling all over her. She made a face, dropping the bewildered larva, and dashed into the washroom to wipe the withered petals from her. "_Ugh_... partially digested roses do not smell nearly so sweet," she muttered. Spotting the still-open browser as she emerged, she jumped over to shut off the monitor, then flew to the door, practically lunging through it, and knocked Robin over in the process. "Oh, I am _so sorry_..." she began, helping him to his feet.

"No, it's okay..." he started to reply, feeling dismayed at how easily she hoisted him up, like a small child.

"Here, let me get that..." they said at the same time, dabbing at each other's perspiring faces with handkerchiefs, then felt silly and backed away.

Robin couldn't help but gaze down the length of the girl before him, blushing with her in reaction. "You look... beautiful..." he said in a tone just above a whisper.

"And you are... very handsome, as always," she murmured in a voice like music. She couldn't resist tweaking him a bit, asking demurely, "I just hope that my legs are pleasing to you."

"I wish I could see more of you-" he began, then both turned aside, feeling awkward. "Uhm... sorry, that came out completely wrong..."

He flinched as she took his hand, murmuring with a blush, "Not at all. I understand, and, uhm... feel... similarly..."

Thoughts of running from her and not quite wearing a towel came to him, but they seemed much less embarrassing at the moment. He squeezed her hand, holding it between them as his heart began to race. "Starfire..." he told her softly, "I know we both have... feelings that we... well, _I_, mostly... haven't really dealt with properly. But I want to change that. I want to open... a new chapter... in our lives. I want this night... to be special for you. Whatever you want to do... just name it."

Her eyes shone like emeralds in his, and her voice grew very quiet and affectionate. "Whatever you want to do with me... will be wonderful..." It took a few moments for what she said to fully sink in, causing him to twitch in reaction, and when it struck her why he did, she turned away, her whole torso flushing red. "Uhm... I suppose... that came out completely wrong, also." She couldn't help but giggle at their responses.

He took her hand, turning her around to face him, shivering at the lingering blush on her. He knew he had to be just as red. "Uhm... hey, why don't we just... go, and do whatever hits us at the moment?"

"That sounds like a marvelous idea," she replied, beaming at him with a smile.

Her stomachs did somersaults as he kissed her hand. "Okay, then... let's see where the evening takes us."

They both stood beside his motorcycle in the garage, staring at it dubiously. Starfire's dress was made for dancing, not bike riding. "Uhm... maybe we could take Cyborg's T-Car," he suggested.

As the young cybernaut shouldered a duct into place, _still_ working on the damaged innards of the Tower, he said into his communicator, "Uhh... sure, I guess you could tap it for the night. But you ever drive a stick?"

Robin looked into the front seat at the stick shift and clutch. His motorcycle was a manual, but riding a bike and driving a car were completely different. "Uhh... never mind," he muttered. He pulled up the business listings on the screen, saying to Starfire, "How about we rent a limo?"

She gave a squeal of delight. "Oh, Robin, that sounds so... aristocratic!"

He grinned in anticipation as he held the communicator to his ear. "Okay then - _yeah_, Econoline Limo? How much for... _uh-huh..._" He fell silent for quite some time, as the service rep detailed their prices for various limousines. Abruptly he cried, "_How much for-?!_" Starfire felt her elegant evening in a limousine slipping away as Robin tugged on his collar awkwardly. "Yeah, but... that's more than I'd intended to spend on the entire _night_. Uhm... I don't suppose you have a superhero discount...? Yeah, I know what the economy is like these days..."

She leaned forward, whispering, "Perhaps... I could assist with the fee-"

He made a face at her, saying guardedly, "Starfire, this is supposed to be _your_ night. Besides, the cost is... _well_..."

He showed her the screen, and her jaw nearly hit the floor. "Why... those prices are far more than decadent... they are _extortion-!_"

"Nothing," Robin said into the communicator quickly. "M-maybe next month... sorry to have bothered you." They stared at the motorcycle, sighing in unison as he pocketed his comm. "Maybe... I could learn to drive the T-Car-" he began, when Starfire held out her hand to him.

"You have your utility belt with you, do you not?"

He chuckled, shaking his head as he tugged it up from beneath his beltline. "You know me too well. What do you want?"

"One of your... _rang_ things," she said with a lopsided smile. "I forget what you call them."

"This, a bird-a-rang?" he asked, holding one of his bird-shaped weapons out to her.

"Mm-hmm," she replied, taking it, and slicing through the skirt, _very_ far up the side of her hip and all the way down, and did the same for the other side. "There," she said, handing his weapon back to him as she stood with her hand on her hip, looking seductive. "Now, I should be able to ride with you on your motorcycle without causing undue embarrassment."

She giggled as the device fell out of his hand, as he was too caught up in gaping at her to notice it. "I, uhhmm... _like_ your new look... a _lot_," he mumbled as he collected his weapon, placing it back in his utility belt.

She grinned, feeling mischievous and alluring, twisting to and fro so the fabric would part enticingly, showing off her figure and her slender legs. "I take it that you enjoy... what it reveals?"

Random syllables tumbled from him as he struggled to find a coherent voice, finally blurting out, "Hell _yeah_. I mean..."

"I know what you mean," she murmured, taking his hand and giving it a warm squeeze as their eyes dwelt in each other, though she could only imagine his. She took her time, letting the moment linger, so both of them could enjoy it. At last, she said to him, "We need helmets to ride this legally, do we not?"

"And safely," he added, releasing her hand reluctantly to grab a pair of helmets from a nearby table, giving her one. "But you'll be perfectly safe with me."

"I know I will," she nodded with a smile.

A few moments later, she wasn't so sure. She had never ridden with the Boy Wonder before, since she could fly. But this time, she wanted to know what it was like for him, and so she gripped herself to him tightly as he launched his motorcycle from the Tower, screaming as it sailed an incredible distance at a gut wrenching height above the bay, riding on thruster jets to keep it aloft until it reached land. The sight was amazing, as the sun had set a short time ago, and the city below them was beginning to gleam like it was encrusted with jewels, as countless lights began to glow. "Easy, Starfire!" he shouted to her, sounding a bit strained at the strength of her grip on his chest. "Much more of that, and I'll need to tape up my ribs when we make land!"

"I am sorry...!" she wailed, though her cry became laughter as she became used to the flight, giving another outcry as the ground came up very fast to her. In spite of the rapid drop, though, they landed without incident on the docks.

As she shivered, clinging to him, he had to grin at how emotional the girl was, which was odd considering she was the strongest member of the team. "Are you alright?"

It took a moment for her to collect her wits. "Ohh... I am much more than all right." She thrust her fists high overhead jubilantly, exclaiming, "_We must do this again very soon!_"

"I love this girl," he laughed, roaring off for the center of the city as the sky deepened into blue and violet, and stars peeked down from the velvet of early evening. He shivered as her embrace grew warm, her hands caressed his muscular torso, and she lay along his back, resting her helmet lightly on his shoulder. He wished that he could fondle her slender legs, stroke them with one hand, but that would be foolhardy.

Back at the Tower, Cyborg groaned as a screwdriver, a mere _manual_ screwdriver, slipped from his hand and clattered into the darkness below as he was securing another section of ductwork to the vent it belonged to. "Oh, that _does it!_ I lost my _last dang tool_ to this stupid crawlspace!" he cried, scrambling out of the inner latticework of the Tower walls, and grabbed a package with several large rolls of metallic adhesive. "I don't care how much sweat and duct tape it takes... _you are gettin' finished RIGHT NAOW!_"

With an angry cry, he dove back in, tape pulled from rolls with a savage rasp, and began literally attacking every piece of ductwork and cabling which had yet to be secured, relentlessly wrapping everything with countless lengths of silver-gray tape. "_BOOYAH!_" he cried victoriously at the end of it, enjoying the sight of his handiwork, dusting his hands off. Although, as he gave it a second look, it seemed more like Fang, the teenage half-spider thug, had invaded and turned the crawlspace into his personal lair. And the ductwork didn't quite follow the neat, orderly patterns it had before. He waved at it dismissively. "Ehh... whatever works for now. I'll sort it out later. I gotta go-" he began, glancing at the time on his arm display. "Yikes - like right _now!_ I got about half an hour before Audio Haven closes."

As he began making his way back out of the crawlspace, an alarm sounded inside the Tower, and was echoed by one on his arm display. "Aww, _man_," he whined, "of all the times... and it's been so quiet this year." He looked at the wall opposite, one which faced onto the Operations Room, and drove his hands through it with a sigh, pulling it through the frame holding it. "No time to waste... gotta take a shortcut."

Beast Boy looked up from where he was clutching himself, his eyes once glued to his computer screen for any peep from Angela. "Aww, come on... not _now!_ Can't the city take care of itself for once?" He groaned, shoving his feet into his purple boots. "Guess that's why they pay me the big bucks..."

Raven perked up from the troubled sleep she had fallen into, seeing the phone lying open in her hand. She closed it with a groan, muttering as she pulled the hood over her head, "Let voicemail take this one..." But she pushed herself up as she saw the flash of red in the room, and heard the alarm. "Trouble... _now?_ I... don't feel right..." she moaned, holding her head, and realized with a twist in her stomach that she hadn't meditated at all that day. It couldn't be helped, she realized, and sank into the floor as a shaft of darkness.

"Hey, Titans! Anyone in the area-" Cyborg began, when the changeling burst into Ops just then.

"Easy, Cy-man, you got..." Beast Boy called as Raven manifested beside him. "Two hands on deck."

"You two were here _all this time?_" he grumbled accusingly.

"A-heh..." the shapeshifter chuckled weakly, rubbing his head, as Raven looked down from guilt. "You... been workin' on the Tower since this afternoon-?"

"Never mind," he interrupted, looking to the massive display before them. "Another riot broke out, and this one looks kinda nasty."

"_Another_ one?" the youth asked quizzically. "Terra's dad mentioned riots. Since when have they been-?"

"Since _when_ have you been bothering _Terra?_" Raven grumbled to him. "I thought you agreed to leave her _alone_."

Beast Boy looked aside self-consciously. "Well... she was lookin' really down today, so we hooked up-"

"Guys, we'll catch up on personal news later. Right now, we gotta go," Cyborg ordered, pointing to the screen. "110th and Redwood, some municipal hall. I'm gonna grab the T-Car. Good thing Robin didn't book off with it."

"Ohh, yeah," Beast Boy remarked. "I kinda... sent Rob 'n Star off on a date tonight."

"I know," Cyborg said. "But police are on route. We can handle a little riot ourselves. Right, Titans?" He gave them a smile and thumb-up.

"Sure we-!" the changeling began, catching himself at a strange look from Raven as she sank into the floor. "Oooh... just hope a certain _someone_ hasn't been hittin' the juice bottle..."

Cyborg caught the remark and nodded somberly to himself. 'And, I hope this doesn't mean things get _worse_.'

Starfire's heart beat warm and quick in her bosom as the man she loved squirmed from her touch, and she pressed herself more fully against him. She said over the racket of the engine in his ear, "Do you find satisfaction in... the way that I hold you?" She somehow managed to sound irresistible.

"Ohh... sweetheart, if only you knew..." he replied, trying not to speed _too_ much as he weaved through traffic, though what he wanted to do was race off for the hills as fast as his bike could go. Just then, the display on his console flashed red, an indication of some disturbance, and he just managed to stifle a curse. "Oh shi - of all the lousy timing... _not tonight!_"

"Robin-?" she began, giving a short cry as he swerved abruptly down an adjoining road.

"Sorry, Starfire," he called over his shoulder. "There's trouble... a riot, not too far from here." As she moaned with regret, he keyed his helmet mike. "Titans! There's a disturbance, close to our location! What's your status-?"

"We're on it!" Cyborg interrupted as he sped towards the site of the commotion. "We're gonna give the police a hand. There's no need to get involved. You 'n Star enjoy a night off for once."

Robin pulled over to the side of the road, having arrived first. Off in the distance was a mob wreaking havoc on the area, smashing cars, store windows, attacking each other... it seemed completely random and aimless. Over the commotion, he could hear one of the police shouting, "Officer down!" Things were getting serious.

"But... I'm on site with Starfire-" he replied, when he felt an insistent tug on his belly.

"Robin, _please_..." the girl begged him. "When will we have another opportunity to have some time to spend with ourselves alone, like this? And besides..." She edged forward, saying with some embarrassment, "I know that you are wearing your uniform under your tuxedo, but... I am not what you would consider... properly dressed for battle."

He gaped at the scene in dismay as a fire erupted. Every instinct was telling him to stay, get engaged, put a stop to it. "But..."

"Robin, come on. Have a _heart!_" Cyborg insisted. "You been puttin' this night off for like... a few _years_ now! That poor girl deserves this, both of you do. I think it's about time you two had some alone time to... you know, sort things out. Listen to yer daddy!" he added with an audible grin.

"Whatever you say... _dad_," he grumbled, just as the T-Car sped past.

"Get outta here, _G.I. Robin!_" Cyborg shouted through the open windows. "Don't worry! We can _handle_ this!" A few seconds later, Raven and a green falcon flew after him.

When he hesitated more, Starfire crooned in his ear, "Robin, please... I have many... _many_ thing on my heart... I wish to share with you, alone..."

That got his attention, and his stomach did flops for a few seconds as he had one last inner fight with himself. "All right... but if you need backup, don't hesitate to call us."

"Dude, just _go_," Beast Boy practically ordered. "While you still got _time_ for a date!"

It took an effort from him, but he wheeled the bike around and sped down the road in the opposite direction. He wanted this, he really did, but some inner voice which was usually right told him that his place was back there, with his friends, that this should wait for another night. Even then, that same voice seemed to say that such quiet nights might be rare for a while, and that settled the matter for him. "I'm sorry, Starfire," he said to her over his shoulder. "I guess... I'm just too dedicated to the team. But I made a promise with myself, and I intend to keep it; that... I would no longer put the team ahead of you." He had made it at that moment, but he meant it just as solemnly as if he'd deliberated over it for months.

His heart pounded in his chest as the girl gave him a sultry embrace, hugging herself against the youth, her hands wandering down his torso as they drew deep breaths together. "Nor will I... ever again..."

* * *

><p>The trio approached the Special Unit 11 officers in their armored uniforms, Cyborg in the lead, as they eyed the violent mob warily. "Hey, what's the situation?"<p>

"We're not sure," the one closest replied through his suit speaker. "There's no clear leader, there's no real point to it, they won't obey orders to disperse... they're basically trashing the neighborhood randomly - even assaulting each other! Tear gas just makes them angrier. All we know is that they're on fire about something."

"Literally," Cyborg remarked as another car burst into flame. "Okay team, you heard the man. Let's serve notice that the Titans are here to put their fire out! _Go!_"

"You got it, Cyborg!" Beast Boy shouted, leaping over the line of police.

They backed off as he grew to immense size, assuming his most threatening form, that of the Tyrranosaurus Rex. "Man... I never get tired of watching that kid in action," one of them said in amazement as the dinosaur stomped his way between the mob and the Municipal Hall, forcing his group of them into the street with a deafening roar. People watching from the surrounding apartment buildings began to cheer.

"B.B. does make quite an impression," Cyborg admitted with a grin as he unscrewed a cap on a nearby fire hydrant, a stream of high pressue water gushing out. "Now, let's see if I can help dampen their enthusiasm a bit!" He directed the spray with his hands, blasting the crowd nearby with enough force to knock those in front from their feet. "_Oh yeah!_ And Robin thought we might need a helpin' hand from Boy Wonder and Super Star!"

"Time to finish things off," Raven said in her ever gravelly voice as she rose into the air. She had been silent till now, working to balance and center herself, and began to intone her mantra. "Azarath... Metrion... _Metrion_..." Something felt uncomfortably wrong, not the least of it that the exertion of her will was clouding her mind for some reason, even her vision. "Damn it... _Metrion... ZYNTHOS!_" she cried, growing more sure as she felt her power welling up from inside, streaming out from her in curtains of blackness. It enveloped the entire mob, lifting them into the air as they cried out in terror. But for some reason, far more people began to scream from fear.

The dinosaur looked back to her, gaping in shock, and tried to speak, though all it could do is make a funny gurgling sound. Beast Boy resumed his form, beginning to run back to her, shouting and waving. "Woah! Raven! Don'cha think that's kind of _overkill?_"

Cyborg himself gaped at what had stunned the changeling. "_Holy wrecking crew!_" he cried. "Raven! _Ease off!_"

She blinked in shock as the sound of shattered glass rang from behind and above her, then from all over the place. Looking around her, she gasped in horror. The mob wasn't just terrified, they were _in pain_. The cars along the street near her were all hanging in mid-air. Streetlights began to flex and twist, then to snap from their moorings, their lamps bursting. Behind her, two full apartment buildings cloaked in blackness had been lifted from their foundations. The people inside were screaming in fear for their lives. "Oh my god..." she gasped, "_what have I done!_"

As the shock of it overwhelmed her, the black energy dissipated. The bodies of the mob fell to the street, the cars and lightpoles dropped with loud crashes, and the ground shook as the apartments slammed heavily back to earth. Sections of the facing fell away, scattering broken bricks and clouds of dust across the surroundings.

She gasped as strong metallic hands seized her, yanking her back from the debacle. She looked up to find Cyborg and Beast Boy both gazing at her worriedly as the cyberman cradled her in his arms. "Raven... _you okay?_"

"Uhm..." she murmured in perplexion, as she honestly had no idea just then. "I... think so. Put me down, please?"

"You sure?" he asked, as her legs proved wobbly for a moment, but she found her balance, standing, if a bit weakly, though it was purely from shock.

"Yeah, I'll... be okay," she mumbled as she gaped at the devastation she'd caused. She reached out, saying, "I should set those buildings back on their foundations-"

"_NO!_" came a cry from behind her. It was one of the officers, and she saw that a small group of them were gathering behind her. Another said, waving to her, "That's all right! Uhm... city maintenance can take care of it!"

"Yeah!" a third agreed. "You just... stand down. We'll take it from here."

Just then, one of the others shouted, "Gas - _shut the mains off!_ We have to evacuate these buildings right now!"

She looked to her friends who were standing there open-mouthed, unsure of how to react as the police swarmed to the ruined buildings. Beast Boy chuckled nervously. "Uhm... _bang up job_, there, Raven..."

Cyborg swallowed what he was about to say, grumbling to the shapeshifter, "Dude, seriously! Why don't you go direct traffic or somethin'?" As the youth folded his arms grumpily, Cyborg said to her with a forced smile, "Uhhh... hey, why don't you call it a night? We'll clean up the leftovers."

Raven leaned against a squad car, holding her head in her hands, stunned at the disaster she'd caused. "Ohh... for the love of _Hades!_" she growled to herself, then noticed the small crowd gaping at her in shock. "Uhm... I didn't mean that like it sounded," she began defensively. "It's kind of an anti-sacrilegious epithet... oh, _just never mind_." She gave up as they didn't seem the least bit persuaded, laying her head on her folded arms and moaning, "Why me... _why?_" She could overhear them talking behind her, about her, and dreaded what was coming next as Cyborg approached.

He put his hand on her shoulder gently, saying to her, "Raven? Listen... you feel good enough to get back to the Tower on your own?" He clearly meant for her to leave, _right then_, and cringed at the miserable look on her face, even half concealed by the hood.

"I guess... I'm too much of a public threat, aren't I?" she murmured sadly.

He rubbed the back of his head, wincing at how true that was. "Well... I'm afraid that if you hang around much longer... we might have _another_ riot on our hands."

She looked up to the two apartment buildings, and the windows were full of people yelling down at her angrily. Tears of frustration and pain welled up in her eyes as she beat her fists against her friend's chestplate. "Cyborg... I-I'm _sorry... I don't know what happened-!_"

"Hey, _hey_... easy there, girl," he said, trying to soothe her. "It's gonna be alright."

"Yeah, come _on_," the changeling added. "You're just havin' an off day, that's all."

"Beast Boy," she murmured dejectedly, "I know you mean well, and that's really sweet of you, in your usual goofy, adolescent way, but... just shut up about it, will you?" She couldn't handle another moment of the wretched scene, lifting herself into the night sky, but nowhere near the direction of Titans Tower.

"Man, _how_ does that girl manage to insult you even when she's tryin' to pay you a _compliment?_" Beast Boy grumbled.

"She does have a way with words, I grant you that," his friend replied, checking the time on his arm display. "_Dang_ it... the stereo shop closed fifteen minutes ago."

When he noticed she was going the wrong way, Beast Boy began to call to her, "Oh, hey... _that's not the direct_-" Cyborg muffled him with a metallic hand.

"She'll find 'er way back home," he told his friend. At least, he hoped so...

* * *

><p>The young couple sat on a blanket as they gazed down on the gleaming nighttime splendor of Jump City. It wasn't quite as dazzling as Tokyo, but that didn't seem to matter at the moment.<p>

Robin hadn't been paying attention to where he'd been driving, and ended up in the mountains after all. He decided to stop at a scenic overlook and spread the blanket on a flat grassy spot to discuss their options for the night. Instead, they simply sat there, speaking very little, holding hands and gazing into each others' faces as the hours slipped past, and music played softly over the bike's speakers.

He smiled thinly to her, giving her hand a squeeze, and murmured, "This isn't much of a date, I'm afraid."

"On the contrary," she replied. "I find that, rather than being surrounded by countless strangers, I much prefer the quiet and solitude of this place... to be alone, with..." She blushed, falling silent, as she wasn't used to dealing so openly with affairs of the heart. In spite of numerous examples in romance movies, she still felt quite clumsy expressing herself.

As did Robin, as he hadn't had a normal life in the least. This was a whole new realm of unknowns to him, and he had little idea of how to deal with it, even though both of them meant the world to each other. "Are you sure?" he asked, hoping she was being honest. "I... want you to be happy-"

"I could not be happier," she murmured with a smile. His heart jumped as she pressed the back of his hand to her cheek. "Except... for..." She felt foolish, her face blossoming red, as there was one subject she wanted badly to discuss, but felt crushing embarrassment over.

His mind spun with wild notions, some of them quite sensitive, as he wondered about that unspoken topic. "Uhm... you said that... there were many things on your heart you wanted to talk about."

She wanted to pick up on that invitation and spill her entire soul to him, but was terribly afraid he might not feel as deeply toward her. "Well... yes, I did say that..." She looked aside with a sigh, releasing her grasp on Robin's hand as she began to feel truly uncomfortable. "It seems... even though I have spent years on your world, and with yourself every day, that... so many aspects of your culture are troublesome mysteries to me..."

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Hey, if it's any consolation, it's a mystery to us in a lot of ways too. There are things I want to say to you, too... but..." He clammed up himself, even though he initially felt encouraged, knowing that the girl was as befuddled as he was. "Wow... I don't understand why this is so hard... for both of us."

"Ohhh, I know... _why_ is this so _difficult?_ You are not a threat to me, you are my dearest... _I simply wish to_..." she lamented, looking to him hopefully. "Perhaps... you have something you wish to share, so that... ice could be broken between us?"

His collar suddenly felt very tight, and he tugged on it nervously, wishing she would have continued. "Oh, uhh... well..." he muttered, wondering what to say. He fought to regain control of his emotions and think things through logically, and as he calmed himself, he began to find solid ground. It was blindingly clear what both of them felt for each other, and what Starfire wanted was practically flourescent graffiti all over her personality. And as the years progressed, and they shared brief - if awkward and embarrassing - moments of passion, they had become more common, and he had begun thinking along similar lines. And it was stupid to fear this girl, he told himself, and what they _both_ wanted. Gritting his teeth, he clasped her hand, and forced himself to begin a confession.

"Starfire..." he said hesitantly, "you know that... the whole point of having a relationship... at least for most people in the universe... is to find one that lasts. I mean... it is for your people, isn't it? Oh wait - except for that dumb arrangement thing..."

He began to feel dumb himself, as he had hoped to keep from stumbling through this little speech, but his anxiety melted away as she clasped his hand in hers, her eyes beginning to glisten. "That... _arrangement thing_ is _very_ dumb. It is the one aspect of our culture that should have never been. I wish to choose the one I intend to..." She fell silent, but she really didn't need to finish her thought.

He knew he should continue, but he wanted to enjoy this tender moment. Her eyes that gleamed like emeralds, her fire red hair that framed a beautiful face, and a body both strong and sensuous, her lower half barely covered by the dress she had slit apart... every aspect of her being flooded his senses. He knew that life without her would be intolerable, and that she should know it. "Starfire... I told you that... I wanted to open a new chapter in our lives."

Her breath caught in her throat, and she whispered expectantly, "Yes... and I wish _ever_ so much to know the meaning of it."

"Well..." he said to her, releasing her hand, "then I think it's about time I started with this."

Her heart raced in her bosom, blood rushing in her ears with a bead of sweat on her cheek, as the carnal things mentioned on the websites clouded her thinking, and she clenched in both alarm and desire. But to her surprise, what he did was reach up and grasp the edge of his mask, beginning to pull it away. It was a painful ordeal for him as it didn't want to come off, and he began to groan from the tender grip of iron it had on his face. "_Robin?_" She gasped in astonishment at the torment he was inflicting on himself, his skin stretched out to a frightening extent. "Perhaps... we could do this back at the Tower, with a solution _which would make the removal easier_-"

"No..." he growled, "this is coming... _off!_" She was almost afraid to watch, but was too caught up in the drama to look away, cringing in sympathy for him. Gradually, the mask of black and white lost the battle, peeling away bit by bit, and he tore the last of it off with a loud rasp, choking back a cry and gasping for breath. "Wow... that hurt worse than one of your hugs," he wheezed, looking down as he recovered. "Do I still have my eyebrows?"

In spite of the painful ordeal, she couldn't hold back a giggle at the question, and of the border of red around his eyes, caused by the ferocious grip of the adhesive. "Yes, and it looks as if you still wear a mask-" she began, but then gasped loudly at a glimpse of his eyes, holding his head in her hands. "Oh, let me see!" she said excitedly. "For so long, I have dreamed of being able to..."

She fell silent as she gazed, at last, into his eyes; to _finally_ see the image of his face fully, without that small but crucial vestige of concealment separating them. "Ohh... they are beautiful... _and they are green!_" she cried with a syllable of laughter. "Well... a brownish-green, as it were."

"They call it hazel... my mother called them Gypsy eyes," he informed the girl as he clasped his hand to hers, squeezing it against his cheek. "I'm... glad that you like them. They kind of come along with the package."

"You make a lovely package... and these Gypsies must be wonderful people, if you are one of them," she breathed softly, running her fingers through his hair, enjoying the sensation of the follicles slipping through them. It took a few moments of this for her to remember how his hair was usually done up, and she smiled happily. "You did not use the hair gel!"

He grinned to her, shivering from the touch of her hand in his hair. "Well... I knew you wanted to... do that. And... I wanted it, too." There was the slightest tremor in her slender form, and a more vivid glistening in her eyes for a moment, as both of them felt a deeper attraction than simple fondness. A smile spread across her lips as she caught the lyrics of the song playing just then. "What is it?" he asked, curious.

"Listen. The music playing just now," she replied, pointing to the motorcycle. Neither one could remember that it was an old song by Peter Gabriel, but the lyrics were most apropos.

_In your eyes  
><em>_The light the heat  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_I am complete  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_I see the doorway  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_To a thousand churches  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_The resolution  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_Of all the fruitless searches  
><em>_I see the light  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_And the heat  
><em>_In your eyes  
><em>_Oh, I want to be that complete  
><em>_I want to touch the light  
><em>_The heat I see in your eyes_

As she resumed fondling his hair, she whispered sweetly, "It is as if the music knew of this moment to serenade us. For you have... the most lovely eyes..."

"Besides yours," he told her quietly for he knew full well that he hadn't seen more beautiful orbs in all his life. Her arm fell to her side as he edged closer, very close, touching his body to hers. She grew nervous, excited, damp, wondering what to do if he did some of those things the websites mentioned, gasping as he draped an arm around her waist, placing his hand in the small of her back, pulling her against him. She wasn't sure what she wanted, but as she trembled against his strong, slender body, she felt as if she was on fire, and only he could quench her.

She felt a twinge of disappointment as he began speaking, hoping for something bold, forward from him instead, but what he began to say gripped her heart like bands of gold. "Starfire... there are many things in my heart I want to tell you, too. I think it's like... what's in yours... at least, that's my hope. I know I should have told you this years ago, but... I want..." And then, just like that, he fell silent at the look in the girl's quivering eyes once more. Was it fear? Uncertainty, second thoughts? Had he completely misread her over the past few months? He cursed himself, but he struggled with a crushing doubt.

"_Please_..." she implored in a voice just above a whisper, "speak what is in your heart. _I must know it_."

He was too afraid to be so honest just yet, asking her, "Starfire... more than anything in the world... I want you to be happy. What is it that _you_ want?"

She shriveled away from him, hating the way he dumped the issue in her lap so abruptly, when she desperately wanted to hear him confess his love to her. "Ohh, Robin..." she murmured, unable to look into the eyes which captivated her. "For the longest time... there has only been one dream in my heart... only one thing which could bring me joy. _Do you not know it by now?_" She was becoming so emotional, her eyes grew moist as she looked into his once more, and she began quivering in his embrace. "With all my being... _I desire_..." She prayed that he knew, that he would finish the sentence for her, that he would seal her heart to his with those bands of gold.

"Hey..." he began, licking his parched lips. "Calm down, please - _ow!_ And be easy on me!" He flinched as her grip on his hand became a bit _too_ firm.

"Oh, _I am sorry-!_" she began nervously.

"No, I am... I should just tell you, rather than let you get so worked up," he admitted, as much to himself as her. He edged close, pressing himself fully against her, his eyes burning into hers, determined once and for all to come right out and say it. "I want... _you_, Starfire... in-"

"Do we require... the protection?" she asked timidly, her cheeks beginning to flush a bright pink, though a warm smile began to spread on her tender lips. "I have never... been with a man before-"

She blinked in surprise as he shivered against her, gasping loudly. "Oh my gosh... _no, listen_... I want that _too_," he confessed, then shuddered again. "Oh god... _I'm so mixed up right now_, just-" He decided it was best not to be intimately entangled with her right then, drawing back and clasping her hands in his as he fought to calm down, and she looked even more confused. "I want... I mean, I can't live without you, in my life." Squeezing her hands as he leaned close again, he told her earnestly as her eyes opened wide, "I want you... your _life_, your _essence_... joined with mine. Forever."

She was speechless for a moment, trembling as her heart plunged into a sea of emotions and passions, wrapped in gold. "Do you mean..." she asked in a quivering voice, almost breathless, "that you desire... to join lives in... you want... _the marriage? With me?_"

He nodded, praying that she hadn't changed her mind from the trainwreck he had made of his proposal. Kissing her hand, he assured her, "Yes, with you."

"Ohh... _Robin_..." she whimpered, then just as his heart began to wilt, she burst out in tearful laughter, grabbing him in a ferocious embrace. Hissing to her warningly, she eased up on her grasp, murmuring, "Sorry... please forgive me. But..." She drew back to gaze into his eyes, with a look that melted him in her arms. "After all this time... _finally!_ You speak what is in my heart! What was in both our hearts, but were too afraid to confess openly."

"I... I know," he murmured wistfully, wrapping her in his own embrace. "I should have said this a long time ago... I don't know why it took _so long_-"

"You were young, and intimidated by such a solemn, life-altering commitment," she told him wisely, in a voice as sweet as wine, and just as intoxicating, as she fondled his hair. But just then, her lids drooped and she gave him an unexpectly dim look, pushing out of his arms. "Still... in spite of the awkwardness we were both suffering through... could you not have simply _told me rather than putting me through SUCH A TERRIBLE HEART SHATTERING ORDEAL?!_"

He picked himself up from the deafening outcry and gaped at her in shock, unable to fathom how quickly her mood could change, and so drastically. Fumbling for words, he mumbled out, "I, uhh... well... maybe... but... _wait_, what about _you!_ This isn't all _my_ fault!" he shouted defensively.

"I am... _the girl!_" she declared, crossing her arms at him. "And it is encumbent upon you, the _boy_, to tell me things directly! Not play silly games the way _we girls do!_"

He rubbed his temple in dismay, grumbling, "Great... we're having our first fight, and it hasn't even been _a minute yet!_" Hoping to defuse things quickly, he grabbed her hands. "Starfire, please... let's not argue, and especially about something as silly as how I proposed to you!" As she calmed down somewhat, he said to her more quietly, "Look... this is supposed to be the happiest moment in our lives, until we make our vows. Let's not spoil it with a pointless argument. Besides," he added with a lopsided smile, "you still haven't accepted, not really."

She blinked at how true that was, and then began to giggle, then tears welled up in her eyes as she whimpered, "Ohh... yes, yes... _ a thousand times yes!_" She grabbed him in a tight embrace, but had the presence of mind to watch her strength this time as she clutched him to her, thrilling to the feel of his muscular form against her curves. She whispered as she lay her head against his, "Robin... surely you know... that there is no one else in all of time and space for me... but thee..."

He drew back to gaze into her eyes of emerald, brushing the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. He couldn't think of a time that she looked more lovely, or was more dear to him, nor could she likewise. He did want matters to be clear and open between them, and asked, "Okay, one thing... there aren't any strange Tamaranian cultural issues to deal with... anything that would keep us from being married, are there?"

The question caught her off guard, and Robin clenched as she grew pensive for a moment. But seeing the look on his face, she had to giggle. "No, there are no such _strange cultural issues_ keeping us apart." Squirming against him, she murmured sweetly, "And even if there were... Tamaran is too far away for it to matter."

As the music continued to weave its magic around them, there was one earthly matter that he hadn't accounted for, and he laced fingers with her as she gazed at him intently. "Listen, one more thing. I... don't have a ring," he admitted sheepishly. "I intended to confess my love for you tonight. I had no idea that I'd have the nerve to ask for your hand like that."

"Oh?" She looked confused for a moment, then smiled with delight. "Oh, yes! The suitor gives his intended bride a piece of jewelry to seal his promise to her." He shivered as her fingers played through the locks of his hair, and he regretted his habit of always wearing hair gel, and so much of it. "But, your vow to me is good enough. For now," she added coyly, though it wasn't from a silly desire for a shiny, expensive trinket. More than anything, she wanted to have that band of precious metal and a crystal of carbon to wear proudly as a sign of his devotion.

He wondered briefly how big a stone would make her happy, but had a feeling that most anything would suit her. "Well... since I don't have it picked out yet, let me seal my promise to you... another way." Her eyes opened wide as he drew near to her, and his closed, his lips taking hers in a sultry kiss. There was the delicious taste of mint; he had slipped in a couple of breath lozenges while he cradled her against him. She squeezed her eyes shut as his lips drew on hers hungrily, and a thrill she had felt as deeply only in her dreams ran in a tickle all through her belly. The kiss lingered, grew deeper, as he lay her down and sprawled on top of her. Or perhaps she pulled him down with her... it was growing hard to think straight. But she felt a similar hunger, deep, wild and ravenous, and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing his form into hers tightly, trembling from the warmth of his body pouring into her like lava, gasping for breath between his kisses.

Over and over, as fire sprang to life in her spirit, she thought, 'Robin... oh, Robin... my chosen one... my true and eternal love... oh, yes! _Yes_...'

* * *

><p>Raven tore through every shop that was remotely related to music; every Hot Topic, every Frys, every Suncoast... everything she could think of, and as if her father was chasing after her. She only had so much time before they closed, but at least <em>they<em> were open. She couldn't believe what she'd overheard from Cyborg before she flew off. "What idiot stereo shop closes before eight o'clock!" she grumbled bitterly, miserable at the thought that she would have to wait a while longer to have her precious music system back in one piece.

But there was more to it than that; her powers were becoming destructive. First, the stereo, then the scene at the riot... she couldn't function as part of the team in this condition. She had to get control of herself, and remembered with a start what she had dreamed just that morning; her powers manifesting in a human form beside her. "You had best be careful, or you'll kill everyone," it said, or something to that effect, and how terribly true that was. She was even more deadly than the immensely strong Starfire.

She would see to that eventually. In the meantime, she snatched up every poster, wall scroll and t-shirt she could find that was of The Cure or The Crow, adding that second theme on impulse. There wasn't much, but as she scavenged from shop to store, scattering the other shoppers as she went on a mad tear, she gradually amassed quite a haul. She almost grabbed a bunch of the CDs too, but somehow recalled that she'd already bought the entire catalog online, including bootlegs, though she did grab a few videos on sale. Finally, when she realized that she couldn't properly hold any more, she quickly departed, a hoard of stunned people watching her leave. She would just make one small detour, to a store which sold adult beverages.

It was a somber arrival as she manifested through the floor in the dimly lit Ops Room, as the Tower was empty, silent, save for the softly breathing ventilation system cooling the computers. She fell into the grip of an inside-out melancholy, relieved that no one was there to bother her, but at the same time, sad to be so all alone. "What's _wrong_ with me?" she grumbled as she trudged to her room, marching faster as she felt the urge to look at all the loot she had acquired.

After she locked herself inside and put the bottles of alcohol in her little fridge, she began dumping the many bags of rolled up posters, wall scrolls and t-shirts. She stared at the garments in dismay. "_Why_ did I buy these?" she muttered to herself. But as she looked them over, it was self-evident; they bore vivid images on them of her new crush, Robert, in all sorts of poses and guises, but mostly of the demented, white-faced bard with dark red lips and stark eyeshadow. And as she draped them across her torso, she mused to herself, "I... don't have to wear this leotard _all_ the time." She would have to get some shorts if she did wear them, though, as all she had otherwise was a blue-violet bikini bottom she never wore, and couldn't bear the thought of something as stifling on her legs as slacks. And forget a skirt.

She then turned her attention to the posters and scrolls, and there were a lot of them, enough to cover her walls. And as she dumped out a bag of no-mess masking tape, she began doing just that, plastering them all over her room with nearly as urgent a vigor as when Cyborg attacked the insides of the crawlspace. Even the window and ceiling had their share, as she put up every single one, even duplicates she had grabbed by mistake.

She trembled as she sat on her bed, surrounded by images of Robert Smith, and a few of Brandon Lee. She wasn't sure why exactly she bought them as well, but something told her she would want them. But most of all, she was haunted by the eyes of Robert, which seemed to pierce her through to the core of her soul from all around. She stood before one, his face at the same height as her own, and leaned against it, her cheek to his, stroking over his dark crimson-painted lips. She wanted him there, staring at her in hunger, arms around her, his lips drawing on hers, and more. It was the dumbest thing in the world, getting so caught up in feelings for a rock star, someone she knew she would never so much as meet in person, let alone become involved with. "But... I can't help it," she croaked in her grainy voice, an ugly sound she was growing to hate. "You _know_... more than anyone I have ever met, and... damn it, _I love you, Robert_..."

She knew she would begin crying if she didn't do something, so she turned her attention to a small bag with one last bunch of trophies; a few DVDs of The Cure in concert. She had already bought these online as well, but were on sale dirt cheap, and knew she had to have something to satisfy her while she waited on her order to arrive in a day or three. And she wanted to possess something that night which could possess her in return, not just a bunch of glorified photos.

She had to escape the pain of this awful night, had to hear one particular song right then, having heard precious few of his tunes yet to know what she liked. She sorted through the cases until she saw the title she was after. Waking her computer, she slid the DVD into the drive, put on her headphones, selected the track and turned the volume up all the way. With a crash of drums, the video came to life on her massive thirty-seven inch monitor, though the man she yearned to see lurked in the shadows as his bandmates prowled through laser-lit green fog. She hugged herself tightly as the dire bass began to throb into her ears, and layers of guitars danced loudly, tantalizing, inside her head. With a cry, Robert emerged and threw himself at his microphone, wailing to her of his need for torture, or to torture _her_. She closed her eyes, dreaming of him clutching her in his lap, while his teeth dug into her shoulder and his hands groped along her curves, tickling in sensitive places they didn't belong, but were wanted.

Her desire began to ache in her stomach, and she lay her head on her desk, her hands planted on the screen as tears ran down her cheeks. It was foolish to torment herself like this, but it was all she had of him, of the man she needed desperately to fulfill her... to fill her with his own darkness, his own essence, his tongue... his flesh...

_Something was wrong_.

She looked up, blinking the tears from her eyes as she fought to come to her senses, not quite able to fathom what she had glimpsed. But then she rubbed her eyes clear and choked in alarm, yanking the headphones off.

A mass of darkness seemed to be oozing from her body, seething as it spead across the floor. "Oh, my _god_..." she gasped as she stopped the video. "My powers... _I'm losing control of them!_"

This was bad. She hadn't suffered through this since her childhood, when she struggled to learn the mystic skills necessary to master the dark forces indwelling every aspect of her being. The monks training her had to keep her in a specially prepared chamber during this trial with potent seals in place, in case things went terribly wrong. They had, and it began like this.

She fought to center herself, though fighting it was the wrong thing to do. But at the moment, she had no other solution, growling out, "Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos... _Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos!_" It wouldn't withdraw, seeming only to boil like hot water. She decided to flood the room with her essence, to see if she could overwhelm it with _itself_, crying her mantra loudly. Finally, the blackness raced out from her under the control of her will, and completely drenched the room. She shuddered, falling to her knees, as the emotions broiling in that renegade essence seeped back into her. All the heartache and pain of that night, the regret and fear of herself and what she was capable of, what she truly _was_, and the frustrated love which pined away for a man who might as well be in another universe... all of it burned in her heart and mind, and she sobbed in withering torment.

But some calm inner fragment of her will gave her the strength to withstand it, and she picked herself up. "N-no..." she stammered, "I am Raven... the Dark Wraith... it is what I am! And I am _not_ at the mercy... _of my own damned emotions!_" Reaching out with her hands, expressing the supreme essence of her will, she cried, "Sothnyz, Noirtem, _THARAZA!_"

The blackness raced back into her, and with it collapsed all the intensely twisted emotions they bore all over again. She staggered from the torment, hugging herself as she fell to her knees and cried out with a horrible wail of despair, shivering as she fought for control. But she found it and stood, if a little weakly at first, heaving a deep sigh of relief as the pain gradually faded. "_Finally!_" she gasped. "Now... to meditate and see if I can restore myself to proper freaking _balance!_"

She sat cross-legged on her bed, relaxed her arms on her legs, touched her thumb to middle finger, and began to still herself. Or tried to, as she began intoning her mantra. "Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos... Azarath, Metrion, _Zynthos... Azarath, Metrion, ZYNTHOS!_" She groaned in frustration, looking around her newly decorated room. "No wonder I can't relax with... _that man_ staring at me from every damn angle!"

She began to yank the posters from the walls, but stopped herself, gazing at them sadly. After all, she had _just_ put them up. "Stop it," she sighed, chastizing herself for her foolish emotional state. "He's... the reason for all this trouble. Just drop it, and quit being such a typical idiot airhead!" Still, she felt pain with each item she pulled from the walls, ceiling and window, cringing as one tore. "It's just a stupid poster... tape it later," she growled at herself. But even as she put them away in her closet, she closed the door with a feeling of discouragement and loss. "Good grief... am I _ever_ going to get through this intact?" she wondered aloud, and tried once more to meditate.

But again she failed, and after a time, jumped to her feet in anger at herself. "_Now_ what the hell is wrong!" she cried, though even as she asked it, she knew the answer. "I'm an emotional wreck... _naturally_..." Going resignedly to her dresser, she opened a drawer which had remained shut for years, pulling out a bizarre looking black mirror. Squatting on her bed once more with a sigh as she closed her eyelids, she murmured to herself, "I haven't had to resort to using you in ages, but... I don't have much choice." Lifting it before her, she opened her eyes.

With a gasp, her own reflection gabbed her. She spiraled down a pit of blackness into her own mind...

And awakened to a raging storm. Winds born of inner conflict whipped her cloak about her as dreadful, jagged bolts of lightning crashed blindingly through the inner darkness of her psyche, the thunder deafening, jarring her insides. The circle of stone she stood on swayed and bobbed from the forces of tumult roiling all around her, and she had to watch her balance. "Flaming black _Hell_... I'm more messed up than I thought!" she cried as she jumped from platform to platform towards a stable path of rock which spanned her consciousness. She looked all around her, but there was no sign of the usual denizens which were manifestations of stray thoughts, urges and fears, and nothing of the seven fragmants of her mentality. "Oh, this is ridiculous," she grumbled as she flew along the rocky path to a wide expanse, which represented the center of her mind. "All right, _all_ of you!" she cried loudly as she landed, her voice echoing through the stormy void. "_Gather!_"

"Do we _have to?_" Fear whimpered from somewhere nearby.

"The others aren't getting along at all," cautioned Logic.

And true enough, just over the stormwinds of her mind, she could hear Rage, Courage and Love, if not more of them, fighting madly over _Robert_, of all things. "This is all _your fault!_" "No, _you_ have us so screwed up we can't think straight!" "Shut up! _You're all_ morons for letting things get to this point!" "Besides, he's _mine!_" "The _hell he is!_"

"Oh, I can _not believe_ this..." she growled, then cried at the top of her lungs as lightning burned across the darkness of her mind, "_GATHER!_"

"_SCREW you!_" Rage shouted back, manifesting just to give Raven an obscene gesture.

That infuriated the mystic, and she snatched the red cloaked fragment from the ether, slamming it furiously into the stony ground. As it struggled to collect itself, she pounced it, grabbing its cloak in tight, shaking fists. "_You_, of all the worthless slivers of my mentality, are _not going to bring me to frigging ruin!_"

"Why not!" it snarled back. "Your impotent so-called self-control is useless! Look at the mess you've become! You can't even keep control of a few stray emotions! I'm not the one who's worthless... _YOU are!_"

She nearly lost all control, driving her fist so hard into the face of the creature that she smashed it into the rocky surface. She growled at the stunned fragment like an animal. "You wretched remnant of my acursed father... you ruin everything! _I should kill you here and now, and be done with you!_"

"Wait!" Courage exclaimed, appearing with the others at last with their robes of various colors. "As much as it irks me to say this, we kinda need her!"

"True," Logic informed her, trying to calm her down. "She is a substantial part of our strength-"

"_Finally!_" Raven cried, seizing the lot of them in a sheet of blackness. "Now I shouldn't have to tell this to _myself_, but you bunch of pansies pull it together right now and _unite!_"

"What if we don't give a crap _what_ you want-!" Rage began, a tear of purple blood running from its mouth. It immediately regreted the outburst as Raven clutched a bolt of energy from the air and cast it into them all.

"_I... said... drop it and UNIFY!_" she yelled in a voice dreadful to hear. Then they all screamed as a horrendous bolt of lightning blasted in their midst from above, devastating everyone. It occurred to her as the terrible energy burned all through her form that she was actually the one at fault for her sorry state, and had no right to escape the judgment herself...

She fell back in her bed with a strangled cry, blinking as she came to her senses, her chakra centers throbbing. "Oh... crap, do I have issues..." she murmured, then rubbed her temple gingerly. "And only _I_ could give myself a headache by having a _literal_ fight with myself."

She made sure to flip the magical mirror on its face as she got up to put it away, and as she closed the drawer on it, began to feel better. And most importantly, it seemed that her ploy had worked; she felt right again, in as good a balance as ever. She sighed as she sat cross-legged on her bed once more to meditate, feeling confident enough to float above it. "Now... if only I can maintain this, and not fall to pieces again..."

* * *

><p>"<em>Maan<em>... what a mess this day has been. I sure hope Rob 'n Star are makin' out better than we did," Cyborg muttered to himself as he left the scene of the riot and wove through traffic. After reflecting on his wording, he had to fight down a blush and pray that the changeling in the seat beside him hadn't caught it, because adolescent jokes were sure to follow. Thankfully, he was lost in his own world of worries.

"Hey, Cy..." Beast Boy began tentatively, "I don't suppose you could push this bucket a little faster, maybe...?"

"What's the rush, little buddy?" he asked, then raised his eyebrow as one possibility occurred to him. "Unless... you're expectin' a phone call or email from somebody."

"Hey, what's with the third degree?" the changeling grumbled back. "I'm just... _worried about someone, that's all_."

"Okay, look..." Cyborg began, speeding up just a bit more for his friend's sake. "We both know who this _someone_ is. And I remember a couple years ago that you told us that '_Terra_'-" He made quote marks in the air with one hand. "Wanted to be left alone. I don't suppose she lives in Ridgemont."

"Uhh... _yeah_, how'd you know...?" he asked in amazement, then grew angry. "Hey, you been _spyin' on me-?_"

"No, we ain't been _spyin'_ on you," Cyborg grumbled. "It just so happens that there was a little 2.5 tremor late this afternoon, and that's where the epicenter was." As Beast Boy began to fret anxiously, his friend interrupted. "Come on, kid, talk to me. Did you do anything to upset 'er?"

"_No!_ But she's been havin' problems... like, she has kind of permanent amnesia. She can't remember anything past a few years ago, when she appeared again."

"_What?_" Cyborg exclaimed. "Kid, that's not _even_ natural! There's somethin' seriously wrong there."

"I know, that's what I said. But she's seen a bunch'a specialists, and no one's been able to help 'er. And there's trouble at home too, somethin' up with her folks that has 'er upset. They're like from Russia or somethin', old world strict parental types. And _Boris 'n Natasha _didn't seem too happy to see me with 'er... at least her dad, anyhow..."

Cyborg whistled through his teeth. "Wow, that is _messed up_. Uhm..." he began, not sure of what the lad would think of his advice. "Listen, B.B., maybe... you should cool it for a while, wait a week or so-"

"No! She was actually glad to see me today," he insisted. "We talked for like over an hour, and she cried her eyes out. But she wanted to... wanted to be with me, and she wants to see me again after school tomorrow."

"Seriously?" he asked, wincing as Beast Boy shot him a heated look. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, that's cool and all, and... I do got to admit, you two did make a mighty cute couple. And it would really be sweet if you two could work stuff out between you." That calmed Beast Boy down considerably; in fact, he looked downright swoony. "Just... keep it cool, chum. You know how you can be, and how many times we had to rescue you from Raven's wrath because you got a little carried away with yourself."

"Hey now, that was _Raven_-" he began defensively.

"I know, _I know_, I'm just sayin' that you can come on a little strong sometimes." That sounded uncomfortably like what Angela had told him more than once, and he sighed fretfully. Cyborg noted his friend's reaction, and hoped to sound more encouraging. "Just take it slow and easy, and things should be solid with the girl. And be sure 'n use deodorant in case of... manly odor, rhino smell, or somethin'."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that as Beast Boy groaned. "Dude... do you _have_ to bring up that _rhino_ thing all the time?"

"Well, it's either that, the _elephant_ thing, or the _skunkies_," he replied with a grin.

"Oh, cut it _OUT!_" he cried, slapping his arm, but in moments, both of them were sharing in some much needed laughter over it.

Cyborg noticed that they were nearing the coast, the distinctive shape of the Tower glowing in the distance, and said to the youth, "Hey, tell you what." He triggered the undercarriage thrusters and threw the T-Car over the edge of the road and down an embankment towards the bay. "We'll take a shortcut to shave off a few."

"Thanks, Cy-man," Beast Boy said to him wiith a grin. "You're the best."

"Hey, I always got your back, little buddy," he smiled in return, then grew serious as the car began to glide across the waters of the bay towards the Tower. "Okay, couple quick things. Leave Raven alone. Like _a - lone_, dig? She was really upset, and if she wants to talk, she'll let us know."

"Hey, gimme _some_ credit," he grumbled. "But I gotcha."

"And the same thing goes for Rob 'n Star. They been dancin' around each other's feelings for years, so they got a _lot_ of emotional baggage to go through. And _especially_ if they sleep in tomorrow... let 'em, as long as they want."

"Cyborg, come _on_," he smirked up at the other. "Before summer kicks in, the only places open past ten are movie theaters 'n bars, and they don't drink."

"_Dude_..." Cyborg coughed, shocked at his friend's naivete. "Because the date _might not be over yet_." He stared at the changeling meaningfully.

"Oh - _oooooohh_..." Beast Boy drawled, doing a double take and looking aside, just as surprised at himself. "Wow... lotta changes happening this year..."

"That ain't no dang lie," he muttered, "and the year's just gettin' started."

* * *

><p>Angela had curled up in her bed, and though she was forbidden to have her laptop on past bedtime on a school night, she had it idling beside her. She had sent Beast Boy a short email, just a brief thanks for the walk home and a looking forward to tomorrow, and waited all evening for a response. She had barely touched her homework, as she could hardly take her eyes from the screen, refreshing it every so often to keep it awake. It was dumb, but she was desperate to have a sense that he was nearby, keeping her in his thoughts, watching over her. But the hours had worn on, and there was no reply.<p>

She fell into a bleak depression, and the music she had listened to hadn't helped. Along with that, the taxing day of soccer practice, then supper chores and laundry had served to drain her energy, and she fell asleep beside the computer. She suffered through tortured dreams, of some people wearing masks chasing her through a dark, empty city. She cried out desperately for Beast Boy to save her, but somehow she could see him in trouble himself, beset by some gang which cornered him and beat him without mercy. She could only watch in horror as they intended to kill him, when suddenly one terrible figure in brown and black seized her wrists in a painful hold. And that face, that dreadful, painfully familiar face like a skull, leaned close, leering at her, _his breath like that of a corpse_-

She gave a muffled cry as it awakened her and she clutched the blanket to her tearfully, shivering with fear. She wanted to run downstairs to the livingroom, turn on all the lights, as a stark streetlight along the shore only served to make the gloomy shadows of the room seem all the more threatening. But just then, there was a _*klonk*_ noise from her laptop. She grabbed it to her tightly, wiping her fingers frantically on the touchpad to awaken it, and felt better as the glow from the screen lit the room. Her eyes widened in relief when she saw a reply from Beast Boy at the top of her message list.

_Hey!_

_I'm sorry, really REALLY sorry I wasn't here. We had a dumb mission to do. Your dad was right about the riots, we had to stop one._

She gasped in alarm from the memory of that awful dream and prayed that he was unhurt, but scolded herself as she realized he had to be okay to send an email to her, and continued reading.

_It was kind of a mess but we saved the city from disaster again, like always. I got to pose with some of the Special Unit guys - they think I'm AWESOME!_

"I bet they do," she giggled, shedding tears of relief, her night fear dwindling.

_Hey, I was kind of worried about you. I know it's dumb, but I just had to be sure. Is everything okay? I'm gonna be up for a while, so hit me back if you're still up. I could even fly over if you needed a late nite chat. Hey, it's a thought._

_Anyhow, have cool dreams. Really want to see you tomorrow._

_XOX_

_BB_

She opened an attachment and giggled at the image of the shapeshifter standing with the police in their all-covering body armor, giving a thumbs up to the camera with his typical snaggletoothed grin. She gazed at it longingly, stroking over his form on the screen, wishing he was there with her. And then she blinked, cursing herself. "You idiot - _he's on now!_" She clicked REPLY and began typing.

_Hi._

_Thanks for the note. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. And don't come over, who knows HOW many alarms dad has rigged up here!_

_Sorry he was such a pain today, but he's been in THE MOOD for several weeks now. Maybe... you shouldn't go all the way with me so he won't have anything to gripe about. I'll see if I can soften him up for you. When he's not being a royal Soviet ass, he's really a great guy. I guess I shouldn't say things like that, but I just don't understand him sometimes! Oh well..._

_Sorry about the mission too, but that goes with being a superhero 24/7, you know. Maybe when the world isn't falling apart some night, we could chat online._

_Anyway, I really should sleep. We get up early, of course. GAH._

_Hope you have sweet dreams too, and look forward to seeing you._

_3_

_Angie_

She curled up beside the computer, clutching a pillow to her as if it was him as a tear of joy and relief ran down her cheek. 'He cares about me... really cares! It feels so good to know that someone does... and I'm so glad that it's him.'

She gazed at the screen, hoping for one more reply from the lad, until she couldn't keep her eyes open a moment longer. Across the bay, the changeling fell asleep at his own computer desk, unable to tear himself away in case she should happen to send him a final message of her own.

* * *

><p>A figure sat in a newly installed chair before an expansive console, cloaked in darkness, a wide array of monitors above it. As he sorted through video captures from a number of security cameras located in an otherwise uninteresting part of the city, he finally found what he was looking for. "Ahh... the riot. I was hoping for a bigger crowd. This one barely caused a paltry few tens of thousands in damages. How disappointing. That would hardly make a dent in the city council's food budget for the month, and certainly not worth front page news."<p>

He flipped between video feeds as the uprising developed further. "I was also hoping for more than three Teen Titans, and sadly, no sign of Robin. Apparently, these early incidents don't seem to be worth their full attention." Something caught his eye, and he selected another camera angle. "Well... and there they are, but Robin and Starfire in _street clothes?_ And leaving the scene when there is trouble, Boy Wonder? That is rather uncharacteristic of you. I'll have to mull over the implications of this later."

He shook his head slightly as the mob were rather easily managed by the three superheroes. "My minions appear to lack motivation. They didn't seem to present much of a challenge to the three of them. I'll have to see about that if the next event doesn't produce the desired results-"

He fell silent, choosing a camera with something unexpected in its recording, watching the scene a number of times. "_Well_, now! This is quite a surprise. Raven... having difficulty with your _powers_, by any chance? Is it possible that I've already managed to penetrate into that dark world of yours, and _twist it?_"

He watched the scene play out as the mystic flew away on her own, and the two remaining Titans helped the police corral the mob and run them off to jail. "I'll analyze this further in due time," he said, saving everything in a file folder labeled _M-04_. "While I was hoping for something more dramatic by now, it does seem that the effect of my _audio adrenaline_ is well within the nominal target parameters I planned on. So, I think I'll green light the operation to advance to the next stage this weekend. In the meantime, I should update my hardware order from China, look into the particulars of a seismic tremor a few miles from Titans Tower this afternoon, and check on the status of my little project in Iran."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's notes<strong>_

**Cold fusion:** a process in which the atoms of hydrogen in normal water at room temperature and pressure undergoes fusion into helium, due to a metallic catalyst of some kind which draws the atoms together and causes a release of neutrons.

**Dark matter and energy:** these two arcane principles really do exist in our universe. While the properties of dark matter and dark energy can only be speculated about, as dark matter is apparently a substance which cannot be detected by normal means, the effects of dark energy can be observed as it pushes galaxies around. In fact, dark energy seems to be the force causing the universe to expand at an ever increasing rate.

**Fang:** a weird criminal creature that basically looks like a human teen body in a t-shirt and jeans, dangling by the neck from a huge spider. What Kitten ever saw in him, I'll never know...

**Garfield:** yes, this is Beast Boy's real name, as revealed in the final moments of the next to last episode of the series.

**Gehenna:** the Place of the Damned, a realm where the wicked dead await final judgment for their deeds.

**Global Unification:** (non-DC cannon) an initiative to unify the governments of the world in a global system of some kind, with the intent to finally unify mankind as one people, stamp out poverty, hunger and disease, and bring third world countries to economic and social parity with the developed nations. There are a number of unresolved issues: religious and cultural divisions, disparities between various currencies, human rights and legal disputes, national autonomy and how to resolve nuclear arsenals, and distrust of the developed nations who are reluctant to provide the massive funds necessary to accomplish something so utopian. To further complicate things, a growing debt crisis is looming, as unresolved deficits from earlier in the century require ever larger payments, and the world's governments lack the political will to face the issue directly.

**Hangman:** a college group founded by Stab several months ago, which play music in genres ranging from gothic, alternative, industrial and punk to metal. Stab got the idea for the name from the original movie, The Crow, and the main character, Eric Draven, who played in a group named Hangman's Joke. The current lineup consists of:

Stab - lead guitar, guitar synth and lead vocals  
>Shred – guitar, bass and vocals<br>Torn – guitar, Chapman Stick and keyboards  
>Fist – bass, keyboards and vocals<br>Harm – keyboards, woodwinds, saxophone, Chapman Stick, guitar and vocals  
>Pulse - drums and percussion<p>

**Jump City:** the name of the metropolis the Teen Titans live in and protect. As a spillover city from the ever spreading metroplexes of southern California, it has inherited a number of high tech companies ranging from mega-chip makers to video game developers. The main instigator of its foundation, Randall Weyland, named it Jump City in hopes that the first human-engineered hyperspace interstellar drive would be invented there. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

**Krutaya:** a Russian term for a tomboy or active girl, but in a good way.

**Nano technology:** the science of creating microscopic machines and computers, some so small that they are made of individual atoms.

**Peter Gabriel:** surely everyone knows one of the founding member of the music group Genesis, and as as a solo artist with a career which spans decades as well as the Millennium. If not, Google and YouTube are your friends.

**Saint John Boscoe:** one of the Catholic patron saint of education. Also known as Don Bosco or Giovanni Melchior Bosco, he was the founder of the Salesian Society. Born of poor parents in a little cabin at Becchi, a hill-side hamlet near Castelnuovo, Piedmont, Italy, August 16, 1815; died January 31, 1888; declared Venerable by Pius X, July 21, 1907.

**Spaceport Space Station:** (non-DC cannon) a joint global project, though mostly funded and hardware provided by the United States, European Union, Russia, China, Japan and India, Spaceport S.S. Is intended to be the basis of the Earth's future exploration of the solar system and the Milky Way galaxy beyond.

**Special Unit Police:** these elite armored forces became a necessity with the ever growing number of supervillains in the world, which began appearing along with the heroes after the development of the atomic bomb (non-DC cannon). While the connection is more than a little coincidental, no one has been able to satisfactorily explain the phenomenon, or the manifestation of the meta-gene, found in the DNA of those with superpowers. In any case, since the superheroes can't be everywhere at once, the Special Unit Police forces came into being, and though well armed and armored, they're only able to deal with the more mundane of the bad guys.

**Tamaran:** Starfire's distant home planet, a bleak desert world populated with a race of super strong barbarians, if you can believe it. Most of you must know of her past, and how she came to Earth as a prisoner of a reptilian race known as the Gordanians - which the members who became the Teen Titans helped her defeat, and how she learned English by a kiss with Robin, and that she's second in line to the throne behind her wicked sister Blackfire, making her a princess, and that she was nearly tricked into an arranged marriage by Blackfire to a green pile of alien yuck with an outlandish disgusting sounding name I can't recall, and that her real name is Koriand'r, and... oh, just watch the show or head over to titanstower-dot-com to learn more about her! Wait, wasn't I discussing Tamaran...?

A note on Angela's disdain for Catholicism and Islam: once again, this is the character's reaction, and shouldn't be construed as the author using her to "beat up" on them. While I happen to have issues with both faiths, and with SO many aspects of human society, I also have friends in both groups and get along well with them and their respective beliefs.

By the way, the title of this chapter is a play on the comic series and music group, Love and Rockets. And as usual, lyrics are provided by azlyrics-dot-com.

Lyric exerpts from "Shiver and Shake" from the album _Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me_, copyright 1987 - Present by The Cure and Fiction Records

Lyric exerpts from "I Can't Remember" from the album _Plays Live,_ copyright 1983 - Present by Peter Gabriel, Geffen Records and Charisma

Lyric exerpts from "In Your Eyes" from the album _So_ by Peter Gabriel, copyright 1986 – Present by Peter Gabriel, Geffen and Charisma Records, 2002 – Present by Real World Music and Virgin

Hot Topic, Frys and Suncoast copyright and trademark 2012 – Eternity their respective corporations


	4. Chapter 3: What Happened Last Night?

He stood before a closet, sorting through a number of suits and blazers, and resenting that he had to. "The curse of being famous... I can rarely go out on the town as myself. Then again, I have never made a trendy fashion statement, and I need one that practically shouts _mover and shaker_, but not quite... subtle, but daring."

He finally settled on a satiny two-piece Amani, mostly charcoal violet-blue but with a hint of brown in it, like the color scheme of an expensive Mercedes-Benz. "And a smokey blue-gray turtleneck pullover for that _man of the people_ touch," he remarked, standing in the light before a full length mirror, and held them up in front of him to get an idea of how he would look. "I suppose playing dress-up once in a while is rather fun, especially when it gets people to do what I want. And when they do... well, it will be nice to have money and power again. Especially the power."

**Part Three: What happened last night?**

She didn't want it to end, ever.

There had been a tumultuous riot of all kinds of happenings, and they were broken numerous times by smothering, murky fatigue, but strewn among them were the sweetest moments she had ever known. Her chosen one... he had finally come to his senses and spoken his mind, asking for her hand. Invariably, events intruded to keep their times of romance infuriatingly brief, but the reconciliation had been heavenly, intimate, deeply personal. "It is as if... my life... it finally has meaning..." she murmured, stroking his handsome face lovingly. As she did, the world seemed to melt, becoming indistinct, while his face remained in focus. She blinked in surprise, drawing her hand back quickly, stifling a gasp.

She was out in the woods as the dawning sun peeked through the trees, wrapped in a blanket. In a tree nearby, a robin was singing, as if seranading her. And beside her was Robin himself, his mask gone from his face, arms and legs entangled with hers, as close as two lovers could be, though he still slept. Her heart raced in her bosom at the memories of last night's awkward but very sweet proposal, tears of joy welling up in her eyes. "Robin, makhtor grellegh ene klaktu Xhäl, maene ikralla, maene venkh'tilli... the one fashioned for me alone by Xhäl... my love, eternal half of my soul... oh, how wonderful to awaken beside you-"

He snorted, honking out a few noisy snores before settling back to sleep, though his breath on her shoulder made her aware of a slimy spot of his drool on it, and she cringed at the unsavory sensation. "Oh my... will there be much of _this_ to deal with when we become mates-?" Then she blushed deep red as she realized that her shoulder wasn't the only thing bare, that both of them were almost completely undressed. "Ohh _my!_" she gasped in shock. "Did we both get completely carried away with our passions?" As the alien girl calmed down a bit, she remembered that they had not, since there was still _something_ of a garment between them, though it didn't really matter to her. In fact, she regretted that he had stopped himself at the last, the warmth of his presence and touch of his skin against her making her tremble with desire. "Still... I would prefer to be... rid of _this_..." she muttered as she tried awkwardly to find some way to slip her arm from his and wipe the saliva from her shoulder without waking him. "Ohh, Robin... and here, I was hoping that the drooling on those romance shows was only... a comedic plot device-"

She blinked as she abruptly found herself pushed down into the blanket on her back, Robin leaning over her, her hands clutched firmly in his, as they gaped at each other wide-eyed. A smile spread across her lips as he whispered her name, reaching for her cheek, murmuring "Uhh... sorry, Starfire, I... didn't expect to be with you... like this."

"Uhm... good morning," she murmured. "I wished to let you sleep - _eghh!_"

"_Yegh_," he echoed as he wiped slime from his hands on the grass. "Sorry! Uhm... I guess I did that-" he began, then choked back an outcry as it finally struck him how nearly naked she was, and then himself, and spun around, his entire body flushed red with embarrassment. "Starfire! I-I'm sorry... I guess I got carried away last night-"

He gasped sharply as she wrapped herself around him, pressing her curves into his back, her hands on his chest and stomach, and her cheek to his. He quivered at the touch of her body, firm and strong, and yet, so very soft. "We both did, it seems, but... I have no regrets. I treasure every moment... every touch. Do you?"

Her words burned in his heart, and while he couldn't calm down, he felt much more at ease with her. He took her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it, lacing his fingers with hers. "Yes. I've... I have to admit, I wanted this for as long as I've known you. I kept denying my feelings, like a fool... and I've wasted years in which... we could have grown closer together, getting to know each other." He turned to face her, whispering as his lips closed in on hers, "Like this..." He quivered as her fingers clutched in his hair, and the kiss lingered, growing sultry.

Abruptly, she found herself pushed down onto the blanket again, and her heart raced as it struck her that he finally wanted to ravish her intimately, and she squirmed in anticipation. But instead of taking her, he sat there looking... afraid? "Robin-?"

"Ohmygosh," he gasped, "the others... _they'll be waking up!_"

"So?" she asked simply. "What is the problem with-?"

"Starfire," he interrupted as he jumped up and frantically stuffed legs into trousers, "they'll be... _thinking things_ about us! And, uhm... _please_ get dressed, you're driving me crazy." He cringed at an unsavory sensation in his briefs.

"I do not understand..." she murmured uncertainly as she slipped into her strapless bra, then an uncomfortable thought came to her. "You are not... _embarrassed_ over being known as my _betrothed_, _are you?_"

That sounded way too hurt and accusing. "No! I mean..." he began, then wasn't sure what he meant. Then he whirled away from her on one leg as she was still much too undressed. "Well... for one thing, I don't want them thinking that I took you out just to have my way with you all night!"

"But... _did you not enjoy_ having your way with me all night?" she asked him frankly, coming up behind him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him against her in an innocent act of affection, at least to her.

He practically jumped out of her grasp, which confused her all the more. "_Starfire, quit!_ Of course I did! But... wow, I wish you'd stop it for a minute, I can't think straight - I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. _And don't touch me!_" he exclaimed as he felt her coming near again. "I'm afraid that I'll... _never mind_."

She heaved a bewildered sigh as she slid into her one piece dress. "And I thought the female was supposed to be the complicated one..."

He heaved a sigh himself as he snatched up his shirt and threw it on, beginning to respond, but then he had no idea what to say. It was stupid to be so flustered. He loved her, he really did, as much as a guy could. And like any typical male with the girl of his dreams, spending the night with her, involved intimately, nearly making love, was a dream come true. And it would be wonderful, should be, unless he got caught by his friends. "Starfire..." he began, "I'm sorry I'm acting this way with you. I don't want you to misunderstand. But... I'm a very private person, much like Raven is. And... well, I didn't intend to spend the night with you like this. I'm embarrassed of what they'll be thinking of me... that I took advantage of you and forced myself on you."

She was afraid that he did have regrets, and kept them from her because of how she felt. "But... I _did_ want you to take advantage of me. I wanted you to take me... completely. We will make them understand this-"

He grabbed her hands rather suddenly as he was afraid where they might end up, wanting to assure her, but at the same time, to quit wasting time which was slipping quickly away. And to stop her from bringing up _that subject_ which was making him feel uncomfortable all over again. "Starfire, please... just... let's hurry and get back to the Tower before they wake up. I want to tell them, with you, I really do, but... this is a big change for us... for everyone! I want to make sure that they're ready for it... heck, that _I'm_ ready for it!"

The alien girl tried to conceal her befuddled feelings, as she regretted how the aire of romance had had been shattered so quickly, and forced up a smile. "Very well, Robin. I will... collect the blanket." She couldn't resist taking a deep whiff of the lingering pheromones from that long night of passion as she began to fold it.

He cringed as he caught her doing that, and muttered awkwardly, "Uhh, listen... do I, uhm... smell?"

She leaned uncomfortably close, giving him a sniff which had him blushing deep red again, which somehow deepened as she giggled, "Why yes, you are quite manly!"

He flapped his jacket to air out, groaning, "I'm gonna need a couple showers." Spotting his costume beside the bike, he gathered it up and began to stuff it into the bike's storage. Then he jerked upright as he realized that the world looked very different, probing his face. "My mask... _where is it!_" he shouted, yanking the colorful uniform from the compartment and rifling through it, shaking the boots out in case it had fallen in one of them somehow. "Oh, crap... where could it be!"

"Uhm... perhaps it is in the blanket," she suggested, drawing it back out and laying it on the grass to look it over.

"We have to find it!" he cried as he scanned over the hilltop around them, growing frantic. "I haven't been without it for years-!" He stopped short with a choked cry as he spotted it in the most treacherous place possible; on Starfire's rump. It was almost perfectly centered on the cheeks of her bottom, and it seemed to be leering at him suggestively.

He gingerly reached for it as she began to ask, "Did you happen to - _ooh!_" she gasped as she felt him plucking at her rear, whirling around with a blush. "Uhmm... if you wished to be... frisky with me, I would rather you would have done so before I dressed..." She fell silent at the flummoxed look on his face. "What is it?"

"I, uhmm... found it," he said weakly, pointing toward her hips. "On your..."

"Oh - _ohhh_..." she gasped in embarrassment. "I am sorry, I do not know how it-"

"N-never mind, let's just get this overwith," he said resignedly, going behind her and began to tug on one corner. It refused to let go, and when he tried to pry it off, he feared the fabric was about to tear. And if that wasn't bad enough, it was impossible to ignore the delicious curves of her bottom, or the sultry fragrance of her body, which seemed to grow stronger as both succumbed to excruciating emotions. Finally he surrendered, moaning, "Why... _why_ did the most wonderful day of my life have to go completely _stupid!_"

"Perhaps..." she began, then perked up brightly. "I could wear your Robin costume! I have before-"

"No..." he muttered, "besides, that wouldn't change the fact that I'd still be unmasked."

"Well... you will be wearing a helmet, that partly conceals-"

"I just can't... I feel naked without it," he cut in, rummaging around in one of the side compartments of the bike, pulling out a stained purple shop rag. "Maybe..." He began to lift it to his face but it looked awful, and the stink of grease and gasoline stung his eyes.

"No, Robin, please," Starfire said to him, pulling his hands down. "That is a terrible mess, and cannot be good for you to wear. Perhaps my... uhm..." she began, blushing and looking awkward.

When it occurred to him what those possibilities were, he flinched back from her. "No! _No way_ will I be able to... uhm..." He had to chuckle at the expression on her face, stroking her arm. "Thanks for the offer, but... just... _no_. However... there is one thing left."

Two things, actually, as he sped back to the Tower with both his socks tied together and wrapped around his head, with two eye-holes cut in them. "Well... this isn't much different from my first mask," he remarked, cringing at the thought of his proper mask peering down the road behind them, prominently displayed on Starfire's rump. And he couldn't avoid the morning traffic on the way back as it never really ended in southern California. "I'm _never_ going to forget this day for all the wrong reasons..." he grumbled.

Starfire caught this and lamented for him, saying over the noise of the bike, "Surely, one day, this will become an amusing story, and the joy of it will return for you."

He couldn't laugh, but he could smile about his misfortune, and it was clear in his voice. "Ohh... I doubt it'll take long, Starfire, and I should have expected _something_ interesting to come of our night together."

She smiled with him, feeling better, and couldn't resist cuddling herself against his back. "Would it be... all right, if I... caressed you, as I did through the night?"

He drew a deep breath as his heart began to race, replying in a husky voice, "Well... I couldn't exacly... stop you." As her hands fondled his torso and she pressed herself into him, he wished that he had given into his urges, and ravished her until neither one could remain conscious.

He shivered as she crooned to him in words that seemed familiar somehow, "Makhtor grellegh ene klaktu Xhäl... maene ikralla, _maene venkh'tilli_..."

Sultry passions quickly gave way to embarrassment. No one following them could ignore a gaudy black and white mask glued prominently on a lovely girl's tush, and no matter how fast Robin pushed the R-Cycle down the road or how many traffic laws he broke, there was an ever growing chorus of car horns and flashing headlights behind them. He ended up with quite a convoy chasing him to the port. It wasn't much relief as he launched the bike from the end of a pier and activated the thrusters, as the whole line of cars followed as far as they could. "Of all the times for there to be no traffic cops...!" he growled as the vehicles lined up along the dock to send them off with a flashing, honking fanfare. Starfire could only cringe silently, hoping that this would soon be part of the amusing anecdotes about the day he proposed to her.

Once safely inside the Tower's garage, he stowed the bike and the helmets and hurried her to the elevator, checking his watch. It was right at eight o'clock; time for everyone to be waking up - everyone but Beast Boy, who invariably slept in for a while. "This is cutting it way too close... we'll have to sneak in-" Robin began as the doors closed and it descended. He couldn't miss the expression on the girl's face, almost a look of sorrow, and knew he had to say something. "Starfire... listen, I don't want you to think that I'm embarrassed over us. Like I said, this is the greatest day of my life - outside of all the rotten luck, anyway. It's just that... I haven't felt comfortable revealling personal matters since my parents were killed-"

She gasped sharply, clasping her hands to her mouth. "Oh, _Robin_... I had no idea of the reason for your reclusive behavior... _I am so sorry_-"

"It's okay," he said, raising a hand to her. "That's... not something I share with anyone, obviously, as it's a rather painful part of my life that never completely healed. It's a big reason why I'm the way I am, and... I guess it's time you found out the details of who you're in love with." She nodded meekly, drawing a quick breath as he took her hand. "And Starfire... this new relationship of ours... there will never be anything more precious to me, or more personal, but... it's not going to be that easy for me to... well... let everyone know."

"It is... okay," she told him softly, stepping close to him, clasping his other hand as the doors opened to the corridor leading to their rooms, though both of them ignored it and it closed again. The look in her eyes and tone of her voice melted his heart. "I understand you much better now, and it will be easier for me to handle... issues such as this one. And I will be better able to help you deal with them." She caressed his cheek, drawing close to his face, her eyes closing as her lips sought out his own. "My... dearest one..." She smiled into the kiss as her forehead bumped into the knot of the tied socks, feeling grateful and warm as he yanked them off, as she didn't want anything to separate them, not their clothes, not a single thing...

They looked up in alarm as the doors opened abruptly, unable to move, even to stop their kiss, as Cyborg entered the elevator with his eye half shut. "Hey, you two... mornin'," he yawned with a wave as he fumbled for the button to the main level. "Hey, I didn't know you had green-" he began to Robin, then froze in utter shock.

Out in the corridor, a once half-awake Beast Boy stood in mid-step, his eyes bugging out with astonishment as he began, "What the _hehhh...?_" Just then, the doors mercifully closed.

That jarred Robin out of his stupor and he fumbled with the band of socks, yanking it back on his head as Starfire stepped away to the other side, though he had to struggle to find the eyeslits he had cut. She flashed the cyberman an uncertain smile as Robin stifled curses, still fighting with his makeshift mask. "Great, everyone but _Raven_..." he growled.

Up in her room, something caused the mystic to peek with one eye, then to uncurl from her all night meditation. "Okay... something is up. It's practically shouting at me."

A huge forced smile of his own spread across Cyborg's face as he declared much too brightly, "_Wehh-he-he-hell!_ Robin and Starfire! You two crazy kids! Just... comin' back in from your date, I see! _Oh lawdy this is awkward_," he added under his breath.

"Cyborg!" Robin exclaimed, waving his hands as one eye managed to peek through a narrow eyeslit. "This isn't what you think!"

"Nooooo problem!" he replied, still smiling. "_Green eyes, huh?_"

"Nothing happened! And we weren't intimate with each other!" he insisted.

Starfire added without thinking, "Not completely." Robin cried out and dropped to the floor hard at the confession, causing her to turn aside with a blush.

Somehow, Cyborg's smile grew even wider. "I'm just gonna move this conversation right along..." he began a little faintly, kneeling to pick his friend back up. "Now, Robin-"

He blinked as the team leader moaned brokenly, his body turned to rubber. "_Don't bother me_..."

"Uhh... Robin?" "_Leave me alone_..." "Earth to _Robin-_" "_My life is officially over_..." "Robin, hey come on-" "_I hereby resign from the Earth_..."

"_ROBIN!_" Cyborg finally yelled as the doors opened to the main level, and he hauled the young leader to wobbly feet.

"_What?_" he groaned, rubbing a finger in his ear but still sounding rather pathetic.

Cyborg stared at his hands, poking his index fingers together and looking awkward as he walked slowly towards Operations. "Uhh, listen... that mission with the riot last night? It... didn't go so well."

That brought him to his senses, and he stood up straight, trying to align both holes in his sock-mask with his eyes as he kept pace. "What do you mean... what happened?" As Starfire began to follow, he motioned her back into the elevator, whispering, "_Go change_."

"Well... you know that Raven's been havin' problems lately..." His voice trailed off ominously as the doors closed on a suddenly curious Starfire.

"What?" Robin wondered. "Did she... lose control of her powers?"

"To put it mildly," Cyborg replied with uncomfortable emphasis. "Injured a bunch of the rioters, which isn't a real biggie. But she also tore up a bunch'a street lights, wrecked a number of cars, and... uhm..." He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Kinda... demolished a pair of apartment buildings."

"_What?_" he exclaimed. "Cyborg... for what reason-!"

"I dunno, but she was really upset about it," he interrupted, frowning as Beast Boy's head appeared around the corner of an adjoining corridor. "She left for the Tower and I didn't bother her about it because... well, she's _Raven_, and I wasn't sure what to do. It got late, you never showed, so I left it for today to deal with."

"Cyborg, you should have called me!" Robin growled.

"And what would that have accomplished? Nothin' would'a changed, your date would be ruined, you'd be all mad, prob'ly hassle with Raven as she tried to sort things out and get herself level headed... " He shrugged with a thin smile. "Things've been quiet since then. I figure the trouble's over. Well, except for-"

"The conference call with the officials that _I'm_ stuck with," Robin grumbled. "This week is turning into the biggest disaster ever..."

"Hey, I wash in charge-"

"No... I'm in charge. I left the scene against my better judgment. I'm responsible." He turned back to the elevator as Beast Boy finally joined his friend. "I have to get ready. Start breakfast, please."

"Uh... sure thing," Cyborg replied with an aborted smile.

He cringed as the changeling began to follow Robin. "Hey, tryin' out a new mask-?" he began, nearly falling over as the young leader turned on him.

"Beast Boy, _I'm not in the mood for nonsense right now_," he growled in a steel-cold voice, then marched off for the elevator.

As he crept sheepishly back to the cybernaut, he whined, "Maybe... I'll just hide in my room today until someone calls a cease fire."

"That's just what I was gonna suggest," Cyborg murmured as the elevator closed on their troubled leader.

Raven didn't like sneaking in on her friends, regarding their privacy as sacred as her own, but her curiosity was burning. Enveloping herself in black energy, she faded into the walls of Starfire's room and peered within. She was amazed to see that the bed was undisturbed and no one was inside but their bizarre larval pet, Silkie. "I wonder if that means... _Starfire is on her way here_," she gasped, withdrawing quickly. She choked back a cry as the girl was standing at the end of the corridor, looking forlorn, and still wearing the prom dress. "_Starfire!_ Hey! Uhh... I was just... going to, uhhm..." She fell silent, crushed with embarrassment under the solemn gaze of the Tamaranian girl, and had trouble collecting her thoughts for an uncomfortably long time. Finally, an appology began to tumble out in her grainy voice. "Starfire, _please_ forgive me, I didn't mean to intrude-!"

"It is... all right," she interrupted, flashing a troubled smile to the mystic as she drew near, and unsure of what to say herself. "Raven... I must appologize myself for... being such dreadful trouble to you..."

Raven was puzzled by her demeanor, wondering what was so wrong as it looked like Starfire was close to tears, and began to ask her, when it struck her that she had a rather loud, venomous argument yesterday with Robin. She nearly fell to her knees from the weight of utter humiliation and stumbled forward. "Oh, _Starfire_... please, for the love of heaven... _I beg your forgiveness-!_"

"No, I must beg for yours," she murmured, clasping Raven's hands and urging her upright with a bittersweet smile. "I have... intruded in your life forcibly when I was not welcome, and did not respect your privacy. I simply wished to... bring the light of joy to your life... one which seems unnecessarily dark." She looked aside with a miserable sigh. "I suppose I completely misunderstood you, and have ruined a friendship I cherish deeply..."

She looked her friend in the eyes as Raven croaked out, "No, Starfire... you didn't, and you haven't ruined it. I have, or nearly did. I was upset yesterday... out of balance, and I didn't mean those stupid, cruel things I said. Please... forget everything I said - _I didn't mean a word of it_-"

"Raven, please," she murmured, stroking the girl's cheek softly with a smile. "Do not fret about things thrown out rashly which you meant not. I know the difference between them, and what is spoken from the heart. All of that is forgiven, and forgotten."

"Oh, _Starfire_..." she nearly sobbed, and clutched the alien's hands to her forehead, to the stone she wore on it. For a time, she quivered silently, then confessed in a soft voice, "I do need your friendship desperately. I _am_ too dark, I do understand that, and I need you to bring me out of my shell and out into the light - not all the time, but... once in a while." She gave the amazon a thin smile, then added wryly, "Besides, we're the only two alien girls living with three earthling boys. We need to stick together."

She had to giggle at that. "Yes, I suppose that is - _ooh!_"

Raven barely had a chance to ready herself as the Tamaranian spotted a shadow approaching and opened her door, lunging inside, and yanked the startled mystic in with her. "Uhm... okay, are you... comfortable enough with me now to explaaain..." Raven began, then it hit her again that Starfire was _still_ wearing her dress from the night before, and the implications of that weren't ambiguous in the least. "Oorrr... maybe I should just come back later-"

"Oh no! Please, Raven, I need someone who is wise in the ways of others to discuss things with!" Starfire gushed excitedly.

"Uhm... I really doubt that's _me_-" she began, but Starfire pressed on insistantly.

"Are we not the only two alien girls? Should we not stick together? And with who else am I able to share in the girl talk?" she enthused.

"Well... you got me there," Raven murmured. Besides, her feminine curiosity was aroused once more. Still, she asked hesitantly, "Sooo... did it... go all right last night with you and Robin?" After all, with those two, it was a total crap shoot what could happen.

Raven gaped in shock as Starfire replied in a strange tone of voice, "We did... absolutely nothing." She then fell to the floor as the girl turned around with the mask glued to her bottom, exclaiming joyously with arms upraised, "And it was _wonderful!_"

The mystic picked herself up, gaping at the weird face covering, and how it seemed to give eyes to Starfire's rump. "Ohh... myy... _gosh_..." she gasped out, struggling to hold down either laughter or a squeal. Then she did squeal as the implications of _that_ erupted in her imagination. "_Ohmygod!_"

Whether oblivious to it, or in response, Starfire whirled around and clasped her friend's hands, blurting out, "Oh Raven, it was delightful! We sat for hours just chatting and holding hands, and then Robin revealed himself to me, and it was the most incredible...!"

Raven gaped at her friend in shock, as this was much _too_ frank of the alien girl, and she fought to talk over her and get her attention and not listen - much, but on she babbled. Was this some bizarre Tamaranian trait? "Starfire... uh, listen... _Star_... would you please, hey - _shut up a minute!_" She made sure to stop the flood of lurid details by planting her hand firmly on the enthusiastic girl's mouth. "Starfire, listen... these are the kinds of things you share with your _diary_, not with your _friends!_" It didn't help her embarrassment any that she did harbor slight feelings for the young leader.

She cringed as Starfire pulled her hand away, though what the girl told her was completely unexpected. "But he asked for my hand!"

Raven's eyes bugged out in amazement. "He popped _the question_... you mean, _marriage?_"

"_YES!_" she cried, and the two embraced, laughed and danced excitedly, causing Silkie to blink at them in fear and creep into the depths of the Tamaranian's closet.

The mystic realized that she had gone way beyond the bounds of her usual behavior, as she had for a few days now, though this was a very special occasion, and one she had thought would take years more to arrive. "Oh, Starfire... I can't believe this. What made that bone-head finally come to his senses!"

She didn't appreciate the unflattering remark about her betrothed, but fully understood. "I do not know... perhaps it was because we were... both so afraid to speak our minds. And then there was..." The alien sought for some suitably cool expression. "An escalator of emotions! He was as unprepared for his request as I was... it was amusingly awkward, but very sweet. And then, before I knew what was happening, _we were both-!_"

Raven quickly mashed her hand against her friend's mouth before anything more embarrasing could pour out. "I can imagine... what you _both_..." she said with a feeble smile, though as she congratulated the new fiancé, Starfire was perplexed as her excitement wilted more and more. "But that's just great, Starfire... I'm really happy for you both. This is just... _wonderful_..."

As the girl looked aside sheepishly, Starfire grew concerned. "Raven? What is wrong? Please, tell me-"

"_Nothing_, nothing... it's just that..." she interrupted, but wasn't the least bit convincing. She began to feel stupid again and sat on the edge of the Tamaranian's bed, gazing at the floor as she struggled over what to confess to her friend. "Oh... crap, I might as well go ahead and tell you. I'm... depressed, and jealous as hell."

Starfire gaped at her in shock, hoping that she didn't harbor some sort of affection of her own for the young leader, and now her fiancé, and sat beside the girl hesitantly. "Oh. Uhmm... but, why? Do you not have... feelings for the young man who goes by the... cut of Stab?"

"_Nick_ - like nickname," Raven corrected with a melancholy chuckle, then fell into an uncomfortable silence as she sorted through some very mixed up feelings, and an unforgivably dumb secret. "I don't know. I do love... _someone_, but... I just don't know what to do. I'm different... as different as a girl can be. Like I told Robin when I was ranting like a maniac, I don't just have the nature of another world, but a completely different reality. What right do I have to subject a guy from Earth to all the weird consequences of my dark nature? It really frustrates the hell out of me. But then... my life has never been easy or simple... how could it be for a neph-?" She bit off the end of the word, and Starfire wondered if it was a slur, like _troq_. She finally looked her friend in the eye, murmuring, "I guess that goes with being the daughter of a demon-lord, huh. Always have a shroud of darkness over my life, like a curse."

Starfire clasped her hand warmly, giving her a smile, her voice tender. "No, Raven... you are letting your emotions cloud your thinking. I know you as well as any being can, and I know that what you said is not true. For you have taken me into your world, and offered me your friendship, as you have to all of us... a relationship we all treasure. And no matter how great the darkness that overcomes you from time to time, nothing could ever cause me to regret being your friend, or to let go of the friendship you offer so graciously. And I know that the others would tell you the same. After all, when your father sought to destroy this world, and yourself, we would not give up on you, even at the risk of our own lives. This is how precious you are to us."

Raven had to choke down a sob, as the words of the Tamaranian touched her deeply, as somehow they always did. It was very hard to speak, but she had to say something as she squeezed the girl's hands. "Thank you, Starfire, for... everything. For being the greatest friend anyone could hope for. Somehow, you always have the right words to say to all of us. And let me tell you... I know that Robin is meant for you, just because of how much you love him. There will be troubles, because you're both rather different from each other. But don't ever let them hurt your relationship, and don't ever let him go. Not ever. You're both very special... _and he's so damn lucky to have you_..."

She couldn't hold back her emotions any longer as she fell into Starfire's embrace, holding her tight and sobbing as her heart erupted in both pain and joy. The Tamaranian hugged her back gently, stroking the blue-violet strands of her hair as her tears poured down her cheeks, laying her head to the mystic's. "Oh, Raven... do not fret," she murmured, rocking her lightly. "There is someone in this universe for you, surely. I feel it in my spirit, and I suspect you do as well, if buried deep within. Just be patient, as I had to be with Robin, and someday, he will come."

It was uncanny how much it reminded Raven of how her mother would soothe her as a child, and with an embrace, a gentle rocking, her fears and sorrow would melt away in the glow of her love. But this was embarrassing, and Starfire expected as much for she let her go as the mystic pulled away, snuffling and wiping her face. "Uhm... sorry about that," she muttered, trying to settle her emotions. "You know I'm usually not... like this."

"Not at all," she replied, beaming with a smile as she stroked Raven's arm. "I know that this has been a trying time for you, and you should release your emotions like this... it will do you good."

"Yeah... that's true," she admitted, then said to the girl earnestly, "Remember what I told you."

"I will," Starfire replied with a nod. "And you, likewise, what I said to you."

"Promise," Raven told her with a wink, then wiped her face one more time, sobering up. "Now, for one last thing. You, uhm... have a _souvenir_ from last night stuck to your... tush."

She blinked at the mystic in surprise, then gasped sharply. "_OH!_ Oh my, yes... and, uhmm... _stuck_ is most definitely the word for it. It would not come off!"

Raven had to chuckle at her friend's predicament, and what it must have been like to rush home in traffic like that. "I didn't figure it would still be there if it wasn't plastered on with a grip of iron. But a little acetone should do the trick..." Her voice trailed off as it occurred to her what that missing eyewear meant, and she had to ask, "By the way... just _what do_ Robin's eyes look like?"

Before Starfire could answer, there was a buzz from the intercom, and the mystic shriveled at the voice of Robin, and what he said. "Starfire, find Raven and tell her to get herself ready. We have to talk."

"Duuum, da-dum dum..." she grumbled in the dire theme of an old police show.

* * *

><p>"This isn't an inquisition," Robin said as they all sat at the conference table across from Raven, though with his creepy mask firmly in place, it very much felt like one. "I just need an explanation... the truth, so we can know what to do about it if it happens again. And so we can explain it to Commissioner Hendricks and Mr. Nelson." The police commissioner and the chairman of Lloyds, the British firm that funded their damage claims, and there was a good chance the mayor would be involved too. It wasn't much fun speaking to them on good days, and this wasn't one, to say the least. It was only her sense of duty that kept her there, rather than flying off to anywhere else in the universe.<p>

Raven decided that she had stared at the table surface long enough, and faced her friends just as Beast Boy smarted off. "And can we hurry up so we can eat?"

"B.B., you just _had_ breakfast," Cyborg chided in disbelief.

"Yeah, but... I was too upset to eat very much-" he began.

"Have a breakfast bar," Robin told him. "This could be a while."

The lad gave Raven a brief, hopeful smile which she returned gratefully if tinged with gloom, as he pulled a squished food bar from a pocket and began munching absently, as if he wasn't really hungry anymore.

Robin spoke to the somber mystic with a voice as sharp as the rap of a judge's gavel. "Raven, tell us what happened."

She closed her eyes for a moment, drawing a deep breath to calm herself, and collected her thoughts, those she would admit to, then opened her eyes. At that moment, more than anything, she wanted to see his own eyes instead of that dreadful, ever-present mask. It took a few moments for her voice to rise from a dull grumble. "I... have been suffering through some sort of internal turmoil for the past few days. You're all aware of this, of course. I don't precisely know the root cause, or what to do about it, until I know what it is for certain. But it prevented me from meditating yesterday." That wasn't entirely true, as she had forgotten to at first, but by then it was out of the question. "I didn't think there would be any serious consequence, but I misjudged how out of balance I was because of my emotional state. Otherwise, I don't think there would have been any problem, but I lost control of my powers. I severely injured dozens of rioters who needed medical care. Several street lights and cars were badly damaged or totaled, and two apartment buildings were ripped from their foundations, and if not completely ruined, will need extensive repair. Hundreds of people were left homeless as a result. Cyborg and Beast Boy witnessed it all."

The pair to her left looked down unhappily, as they didn't like what Raven had to suffer through either, and felt almost as if they were betraying her. "Do either of you have anything to add?" Robin asked them.

"Naw, it's... pretty much what she just told us," Cyborg murmured.

"What he said," Beast Boy added glumly, though he couldn't leave it at that, and Raven's heart warmed at his adolescent attempt to defend her. "But she didn't mean to do any of it! She was really upset-!"

"That's immaterial," Robin cut in. "The people of this world are depending on us to protect them, to be able to use our powers and abilities responsibly, so that things like what went wrong last night don't happen to them." He fixed Raven in that stern, unnerving gaze of his after using her own words against her, though she subitted to them meekly. "Were you able to resolve any of your emotional issues?"

"In time," she replied somberly, deciding to leave off the second point when she nearly lost control. "I had to resort to using a magical device which allows me to focus my consciousness inwardly, a tool which I use when meditation is difficult." She glanced at Cyborg and Beast Boy, smiling a bit as she saw their reactions from the time they inadvertently fell victim to it. Of course, they broke into her room, so they deserved it all. "I was able to confront my inner turmoils, and restore myself to a state of order and balance. I am now in the condition I was prior to all this trouble, and am once more in full control of my faculties." She felt obligated to amend that, and added, "To my knowledge, but I am acutely self-aware."

Robin frowned at that, and asked her pointedly, "Are you self-aware enough to know when you are in danger of losing control again?"

"Yes," she replied promptly.

"And do you know what to do in case you succumb to that state?" he questioned in the tone of a prosecutor.

"Yes..." she murmured a bit dejectedly. "I will notify you, or someone in the team, and withdraw myself from active duty until I can again restore myself to proper balance."

That caused a round of deep breaths from the others on Robin's sides, and Beast Boy muttered something regretfully. Starfire could only gaze at her friend in sorrow. Robin pressed on with his questions without much pause. "How reliable are you right now, in your estimation?" That caught her off guard, though it shouldn't have, and she had to think for a moment. "Raven, I have to know. We all do. You told me yourself how deadly your powers are. We can't risk getting someone kill-"

"_Don't_... don't say it," she hissed sharply, her fists clenched and her eyes squeezed shut. The others waited uncomfortably for her reaction to subside, and at last, she looked up again, calm but tense. "I would say that I'm at about ninety percent now, to put it on a scale. Knowing how I can be, though, I'd have to say overall, about two-thirds. I need time to sort things out, and... uhm..." She heaved a deep breath, confessing, "To be honest with you guys, you might... want to plan on my help not being available for a week, or so."

While Robin remained silent, there was a chorus of disbelief from the others. "Raven, aren't you bein' a little hard on yourself?" Cyborg asked.

"Hey, I have to be straightforward with you all because..." Her voice grew quiet as she continued, gazing at them fondly. "You're all the family I have, and... I care for you all deeply. And, you know what I'm capable of. If anything should happen to any of you..." She couldn't finish her dreadful thought, looking down somberly.

The shapeshifter couldn't let it drop, murmuring in his own rough voice, "Come on, Raven... you wouldn't let that happen. You just had one bad night-"

"Beast Boy, you of _all_ people should know better than that," she grumbled, though she had to smile at his reaction.

"How serious are you?" Robin asked her.

She looked to him soberly. "Completely. If I feel a significant deviation from normal, I'll notify everyone, and withdraw from duty completely. It's for the best."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Just... go easy on me," she said to everyone. "I'm going to withdraw for a while, a bit more than normal... meditate, do a lot of soul searching. But at the same time, I don't want to be a recluse. I need to keep up with chores just to have something to do. And... I must admit that I need your company." She saw the changeling's amazement clearly and chuckled, "Yes, _yours too_, Beast Boy. Just no comedy routines, _please_."

"Aww, come on!" he protested as Cyborg ruffled his hair, and everyone enjoyed a welcome laugh at his expense.

Robin wasn't completely done yet, and asked, "Are you going to confess all of that to the Commissioner and Nelson? Or present yourself as restored and fit for service?"

That was another thing she hadn't considered, and there was a lengthy pause as she mulled over the question. "I feel more than adequate, currently, but... I think I should leave that for you to decide. After all, you're the boss."

"Oh, thanks a lot," he grumbled amidst some nervous chuckles, pondering the matter at length himself, and finally came to a conclusion. "It's all hypothetical at this point, and I trust your judgment. So for now, consider yourself an active part of the team." He interrupted as Beast Boy began to shout in celebration, as the real inquisition was about to commence. "Now... do you feel ready to tell this to the Commissioner and Mr. Nelson?"

She sat up straight with a sigh, and put on her brave face as best she could. "I guess... as ready as I'll ever be."

"Then, let's get it overwith." He went around the table to her, reaching for her hand in a way that seemed both businesslike and friendly. "They've been ready since I called them earlier. And don't worry, I'll be right there with you. We all will."

"Thanks," she murmured, giving his hand a squeeze as she rose to accompany him to Main Operations. "And to you guys. I... couldn't ask for better friends."

Even as they replied warmly, and Starfire whispered words of encouragement as they walked down the corridor together, Raven began withdrawing herself emotionally, repeating her mantra in her mind. When the doors opened onto Main Ops, while she wasn't exactly serene, she was stoic. As she suspected, Mayor Zhu was on the screen with the others, but it didn't matter anymore. One more judge made no difference.

Robin hung back with the others as Raven strode meekly up to the main screen, divided into three windows for the officials. All older men, well dressed, and looking dour, especially the duty-scarred Commissioner. She settled her hood back and smoothed her hair, the one sign from her of lingering inner tension. Beast Boy mumbled queasily, "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"Then quit eatin' those stupid tofu bars, Munch Boy," Cyborg grumbled under his breath as the lad blinked at the half-eaten food bar in his hand.

"Team, _at ease_," Robin hissed warningly as the three officials eyed over the group like birds of prey.

The mayor spoke first. "Well, Raven. Greetings. I am sorry that this has to be under such unfortunate circumstances, but I'm sure you understand."

"I do, Mayor Zhu, Commissioner Hendricks, Chairman Nelson," she replied with a slight bow, "and I present myself to you in order to explain my actions of last night."

Mr. Nelson said in a cultured British accent that she couldn't bring herself to admire at that moment, "Very well, then, raise your right hand." As she did so, he asked her solemnly, "Do you hereby swear to this tribunal by all that you hold sacred, to speak only the truth and the facts as you understand them, without reservation?"

"I do," she swore in utter calm.

"State your case, then, young lady," grumbled the Commissioner in a voice even more grainy than her own.

She repeated to the three officials essentially the same thing she told the team, leaving off the part of her self-determined reliability. She concluded, "After an examination from Robin, he has judged me to be fit for service to the community once more, and to the world, and I agree with his assessment."

"How certain are you that there will be no more such incidents?" Mr. Nelson asked.

"Completely, Mr. Chairman," she said earnestly. "I am keenly aware of the balance of forces and emotions within me, especially considering the destruction I caused last night, and will be constantly on guard of myself."

"That is a bold claim, considering the powers you weild," Mayor Zhu told her. "They are terrible, to be sure. We are entrusting you with the fate of our city... in fact, of the entire world."

For once, her facade of calm nearly broke as deep within, she worried that the secret of Trigon's horrible curse on the Earth had become known somehow, and her fearful connection with it. But she instantly quelled it; if it was known, it was, so be it. "That is why I take my oath to your world... _our_ world... so seriously, Mayor Zhu. This is my home, too, and I want to be welcome here. I will refrain from action if I sense that there is any problem with control of my powers. I have said as much to the others. The team should be more than able to carry on without me, and if needed, with the capable backing of the Special Police Forces."

"You understand that by admitting culpability," said Mr. Nelson, "there will, by necessity, be an adjustment to your policy."

That meant added fees, and Beast Boy muttered sourly, "Well, there goes this month's pizza party..."

The three men enjoyed an unexpected laugh at that, making them seem much more human as Robin came forward, giving the shapeshifter a warning look. "We understand, and will abide by your decision," he told them.

The eyes of the officials shifted a bit as they obviously looked to each other on other screens, and began typing in a private chat. Beast Boy whined under his breath, "Aww, man, can't they spot us a gimme-?"

"Dude!" hissed Cyborg with an elbow to his side. "Save the corny remarks till _after_ court, will ya? This is serious!"

At least the Commissioner overheard, as he tried to fight down a smile. Presently, Mr. Nelson said to them, "While last night's incident is quite serious, the three of us have accepted your explanation. An amendment to your policy will be emailed to you. I would trust, young Raven, that such matters will not be coming up again any time soon."

He didn't completely trust a youth with such power, not that she could blame him, and replied simply, "No, Mr. Nelson, you have my word."

"I'll speak with the governor and Senator Gerardo, and see if the federal government can provide supplemental funds," the Commissioner said, then half-smiled. "After all, we can't have our local heroes doing without their pizza parties."

"Mr. Hendricks, dude!" Beast Boy exclaimed with a thumbs-up. "You're all right!"

"I try," he smirked in response. "In any case, this concludes the tribunal, and you are dismissed. Now, Frederick, how is the weather there in London?"

"Cold, blustery and snowing, I'm afraid-" the English gentleman began as the connection ended.

Beast Boy flinched as a metal hand rang down on his head, and Cyborg leaned close. "B.B., you are _so_ lucky that Hendricks has a sense of humor, or you'd be pullin' serious K.P. duty."

"For a month," Robin added, chuckling as the lad somehow looked even greener. He noticed Raven still standing before the now transparent big screen, her hood drawn up and looking discouraged. "Raven?" He drew near and put a hand on her shoulder as Starfire approached as well. "It's overwith... are you all right?"

"That... wasn't so bad," she murmured with a sigh, and stood a little straighter. "But, whether or not it's over... that remains to be seen." She was looking pensively out the windows facing onto the bay, and the Pacific Ocean beyond. A doorway was open to let in fresh air, and along with it came the sound of some distant commotion.

"What do you mean?" he asked, puzzled. "What's the matter?"

"I'm going to meditate," she said abruptly, and he jerked his hand back as she vanished in a shaft of darkness.

"What the heck was _that_ all about?" Cyborg wondered.

"Seriously," Beast Boy chimed in. "She's feelin' fine, cut off the leash... does she just _like_ bein' cranky all the time or _what?_"

"Something going on outside upset her," Robin informed them, going out to the walkway running around the building to get a look at the shore, and what was going on there. The others followed him out, Starfire close on his heels. He wondered aloud as he rounded the corner of the Tower, "What the heck could it... oh, _no_."

"Robin? What is it-?" Starfire asked, then gasped sharply as she saw it also.

"Okay you two, _what_ is the big...?" Cyborg started to ask, then fell silent as he leaned around his friends with Beast Boy to get a look for himself. He drawled in dismay along with the changeling, "Aww, _maan_..."

"In stereo," Beast Boy muttered. "Looks like we got a little P.R. problem."

Protesters were lining the docks, shouting and waving signs splattered with angry slogans. "Homewrecker!" "Raven ruined our lives!" "She's too dangerous!" "Who's paying for this disaster!" "Raven must GO!"

* * *

><p>Robin finished speaking with the mayor's office a short time later, setting the receiver into the phone cradle slowly in dismay, which was a bad sign. He chose the phone in one of the offices for the sake of privacy, though there was no hope of that. Three heads poked through the door, Cyborg deciding to speak first. "So... what's the verdict? Problems with relocation, available funds?"<p>

"No... nothing," he replied sourly. "Everyone in those two buildings were relocated overnight at city expense to units as good or better than they were renting. They just wanted to..."

As Robin doubled a tight fist, even Beast Boy picked up on the unfinished sentence. "They just wanted to come down there to _complain?_"

"Yes!" he cried, pounding the desk with his fist. "There was no reason for this! Now Raven's upset... what the hell is _wrong_ with people!"

"Oh, how dreadful," Starfire murmured, edging close to him. "Perhaps I should see about Raven, what state of mind she is in."

"Do that," he told her, brushing his hand across hers intentionally, which brought a tinge of pink to her cheeks. "But if she's meditating, let her be. The way things are going, she might need every chance at peace and quiet she can get."

"Very well," she replied, then drew close to whisper, her hand giving his shoulder a caress. "And... will we have some time alone, soon?"

He sighed regretfully; the flush of her cheeks, and how close they were, reminded him vividly of how she looked when his eyes opened that morning. "I want to, Starfire," he murmured to her guardedly. "As much as you do, believe me. But I have work to do... to make sure our accounts are in order in case of unexpected expenses, deal with those updates from Lloyds of London, and think of how to organize the team without Raven. First of all, though, I'm really angry... I have to blow off some steam. We'll talk after lunch. Okay?" She nodded with a hopeful smile, leaning forward to kiss him, which he blocked with his hand, nodding towards the other two meaningfully. "Anyway, go see to Raven."

"Very well, _commander_," she murmured in a voice that stung his heart, and left.

That put Robin in an even worse mood. The others stopped whistling idly and snapped to attention out of reflex as he fixed them in an evil looking stare. "Now, as for _you_ two... Cyborg, how did those repairs go?"

"Nothin' the main man couldn't handle. Everything's in ship shape!" he replied with a grin, though it faded as there was a crash from inside the south walls of Main Ops. "Mostly."

"Riiight..." he drawled out as Beast Boy began to laugh. He stopped short as Robin thrust a finger in his face. "_You_ help Cyborg make _sure_ the Tower systems are in order."

"Aye-aye, cap'n," the changeling muttered sourly with a Boy Scout salute, looking up as Cyborg interrupted.

"_Oh_-oh-oh, hold on, one little detour," he cut in, a bit sheepish from Robin's harsh attitude. "I promised Raven that I'd fix her stereo last night, and couldn't get to it. Seems she, uhh... had a bad dream and kinda blasted it with her powers-"

"Right right, gotcha," Robin interrupted with a raised hand. "See to it. That should help improve her mood a lot - she really prized that gift of yours."

"Well, then," the changeling began, sounding pleased, "I guess that means shotgun in the T-Car is open-"

"Not quite," Robin said, grabbing his shoulder. "You're going to help me see to that maintenance, and those many arms of Beast Boy will come in _very_ handy-"

"_Ohh_ no," Cyborg objected adamantly. "_No_ one works on _my_ Tower unsupervised but me. You go take care of that Robin stuff. Buuut..." he added with a mischievous grin, "B.B. _could_ stand to clean his room. It's been half a year now."

"Good call, Cyborg," Robin agreed with a wicked looking smile. "Get on it, Beast Boy."

"Uhmm..." the lad began fretfully, raising his hand, "couldn't I do something a little less dangerous, like go hunt down the Brotherhood of Evil or whatever?"

"They're still in deep freeze, remember?" Robin told him, grabbing him by the nape of his suit, and dragged him down the walkway towards the Ops Room exit. "Besides, what if _Terra_ wanted to pay you a visit?"

"Oh, that is _so not fair!_" he growled. "Hey, I can walk, ya know..."

* * *

><p>"Azarath... Metrion... Zynthos..." Raven whispered slowly, quietly, as if half asleep.<p>

_My essence... my will... it is done..._

"Azarath... Metrion... Zynthos..." she continued in her lotus position, repeating in a constant cycle, though unfortunately she was fully conscious. The meaning of her mantra seemed to mock her.

_My essence... but no, an essence which denies its source..._

_My will... but no, the darkness has a will of its own..._

_It is done... but what is done is wrong, destructive..._

On it went, this struggle inside her, haunted by memories of things gone wrong. Many, many things...

Her troubles on Azarath as a child, as she fought to master the dark energies inherent in the very matter of her body, powers which she hated, which terrified her, and how they nearly destroyed her, or the monks trying to help her. Of a painful moment in her first hours on Earth, which she refused to allow herself to remember. Of the times she failed to mesh properly with the Titans in combat, and could have easily killed any of them. Of the first time she lost control on Earth, stopped before she destroyed Dr. Light, and of how it was a foreshadowing of something infinitely worse. Of the horrible days surrounding the unholy prophecies of her birthday, of her demon-father Trigon and his release, which came to pass through her, which nearly destroyed her adopted world, her dear friends, and herself - and of the possibility that this terrible secret was a secret no longer, at least with certain people. Of the twisted events of last night, in which she injured a great many people, damaged property, and ruined people's lives without so much as a thought. Of their cries of outrage, from those who moments before were grateful for her intervention.

And most painfully, of the love she still cherished in the core of her being for a man with which she could never hope to have fulfillment. She did everything she could to smother that flame, but a spark of it still burned for him, her beloved Robert.

"Azarath... Metrion... Zynthos..." she went on, but it was hopeless. Outside her window, on the docks closest to them, angry citizens vented their rage and hatred for her, for literally uprooting their lives for no reason, as deadly and mindless and randomly destructive as a tornado. She couldn't hide from that truth, the awareness of it, couldn't flee from herself or her nature. How can you hope to escape _yourself?_

She had no focus, there was no calm center, peace eluded her. She gave up, uncurled and fell back onto her bed, gazing up at her ceiling tiredly. "How can I make peace with a world which isn't mine?" she whispered, her eyelids drifting shut.

Something attacked her, jaws shut cruelly around her head and crushed bone, tissue and brain-

She threw herself from the bed, her heart pounding, blood roaring in her ears as she huddled against it in terror. It took a few moments, but at last she recovered, and thankfully it was still morning or she feared what she might have done. Fluffing out her violet-blue robe, she growled irritably, "Damn these stupid dreams... why can't I ever have a romantic one! I have to get out of here, or I swear I'll go insane." She thought briefly of joining Starfire, as nothing was more balancing for her than her friend. But... not just yet, she decided. Later, after she did some things that were more aligned with her nature. Her dark powers were more than willing to send her on her way, as she drew up her hood and slipped through the floor in a column of blackness.

Just then, Starfire knocked on her door a bit softly, so that if her friend was in deep meditation, she wouldn't disturb her. "Raven... _Raven?_" she called quietly, waiting a few moments. "It is... no use," she sighed, adding, "I pray that you are finding the peace within which will return you to your darkly contented self soon. Please... we all miss you, and yearn for your recovery from this baffling affliction. Not the least, myself." She stroked her hand on the door, wondering what to do with herself before lunch, as even her dear love Robin didn't want to be with her.

A black form arose from the ground of an alleyway and coalesced into the form of a blue-robed young lady. Making sure no one was about to ambush her, she then made for the street at the end, and gave a yell as she nearly tackled a young couple. They cried out themselves in reaction to the bizarre wraith, dressed in vivid yellow sweaters and white pants. "Uhm... pardon me, but..." Raven muttered to them, eying their clothes in disdain, "are _you_ ever in the wrong neighborhood." Then she wondered if she was, as she spotted three more such lemon-topped people out for a late morning stroll. But no, half a block away was The Sepulchre. She shook her head as she continued on, murmuring, "Of all the stupid things to come true in one of my dreams... just _weird_."

She overheard the couple chatting about her as they went along. "Do you think it's really _her?_" the girl asked.

"I'm not gonna try to find out," he replied, not guardedly enough. "I heard she wrecked a couple of buildings last night..."

"Yeah... that's me," Raven sighed, "Demolition Girl, coming to a goth club near you..."

She strode into the club, as empty as ever before lunch hour, which wasn't usually all that big a time for them, regardless. She was grateful that the few males inhabiting the place lurked at the dim extremes of the chamber, as the atmosphere seemed even more dreary somehow and she wasn't in the mood for nonsense. "Damn it," she grumbled, "and I really like this place. I need to get myself out of this cursed mood before I completely lose it."

Deciding to skip lunch there, she went to the bar, surprised that no one was at the helm, even the blue-fleshed owner who rarely failed to greet her. "Hello?" she called. "Vulnavia? Claw? _Anyone?_" Shrugging, she perched on one of the stools to wait, and idly kicked her legs to the music playing, which when she became conscious of it, was very good. "I like this... I'll have to ask who this is," she remarked to herself, then gasped when she caught the singer clearly. "Oh my gosh... it's _Stab!_" With the sound of the crowd in the background, she realized it was Hangman, and the performance from that fateful night. She didn't recognize the tune, but that just meant a new song and group to chase down. She looked over the counter and spotted a display of the CDs within reach, grabbing a couple and clutching them to her bosom. "Wow... the quality, it sounds so good..." she sighed almost dreamily, wishing someone would show up so she could pay and make off with her prize.

And then she wondered why she was swooning so. _Do you love Stab?_ an inner voice asked. She couldn't answer, at least not to her satisfaction. "I... don't really know," she whispered as she gazed at the appropriately gothic cover of the CD case, with stylized images of the band performing on a gallows. "I mean, I like him, a lot... but, I just don't know if he's _the one_, like Robin is with Starfire... if I really _love_-"

"Oh, you love it?" Claw asked abruptly, seeming to have teleported in front of her, making her jump on her stool with a muffled curse. "I just wish more people did..."

"What... it's _not selling?_" Raven asked in disbelief. "This is a fantastic performance!"

"Well, it did the first day out, but that must be from everyone who was here that night," he explained. "After that, it dropped like a rock. I've been playin' it off and on since - don't wanna wear it out, ya know, it's great stuff and I'd hate to get burned out. Sales are kind of comin' back, and it has only been a few days. But it's only ten friggin' bucks! I don't wanna sell it for less because there's a royalty cut, and I want the guys to get something for their work. Maybe I should wave it in everyone's faces as the show which nearly got you killed."

As he laughed, she muttered with a smirk, "Sick sense of humor, there, Claw. But here." She pulled some money from her pouch and gave him what looked like sixty dollars. "Keep twenty for yourself and give the rest to the band."

"I love the way you tip," he told her as he pocketed one of the bills, putting the rest under a register drawer. "Hey, not to pry, but has Stab made it up to you yet? 'Navia threatened to skin him alive if he didn't."

She grit her teeth uncomfortably, as he damned well _was_ prying. "Uhmm... we haven't really hooked up yet..."

"Oh, well..." he muttered, looking aside slyly. "That thing with the mike stand was an accident, ya know, he just got a little carried away. Stab's a good kid, really-"

"Uhh... listen, it's not like that," she interrupted. "Things have been crazy... still are. I need to sort some things out. But one thing, _Mister Matchmaker_. If Stab put you up to this, tell him that I'm going to do something _very_ uncomfortable to him with his guitar."

"Ooooh... harsh," he remarked as she made to leave. "I might have to warn him to take a vacation instead."

She gave him a wink as she headed for the door, stuffing the CDs in her pouch. "I'll be back when I can stay for a drink or something. Tell _'Navia_ I said-"

"Raven!" she called from the rear. "I have something for you."

She came to a stop, watching the unusual turquoise-skinned woman approach, holding a bag out to her. Strangely, it was some kind of leather. "What is it?" she asked, accepting it and peering inside.

"Candles," Vulnavia replied, "_very special_ candles." Raven drew one out, surprised that it was still warm. She saw the girl's reaction and informed her, "I just finished making them."

They were quite striking, about seven inches long and one thick, made of spirals of black and white, apparently formed by twining soft rods of wax around the wick in a double helix. They smelled of some sort of spice or incense, musky and a bit sweet. "What purpose do they serve? Aroma therapy?" she asked rather flippantly, though she could sense something unusual about them.

"Much more than that," the woman replied, moving uncomfortably close and speaking in hushed tones. "They preserve life, and aid in healing. This will explain more fully, and includes the formula for making your own."

She handed the mystic another folded brown parchment littered with her spidery script. As she opened it and looked it over, something on the page made her eyes dance and a tingle run along her spine. She was surprised to see that it was very advanced magic of a sort that brought secret societies to mind, or of metaphysical principles reminiscent of some in her own books. Books which had otherworldly sources of knowledge. The occult bookstore she habited, The Grand Arcanum, the greatest terrestrial source on the west coast, had tomes of sometimes unfathomable origin with astronomical prices on them in a sealed vault-like room. You had to pay a tidy sum just to view them. But there was no way that Vulnavia could afford anything remotely that arcane... could she?

Raven eyed her suspiciously, taking a step back. "Why are you giving these to me, and why now? Since they're authentic, you could sell them for a very high price on the occult market."

"Because I think you'll be needing them... sometime," she replied with an enigmatic look. "Call it a hunch. And I only give favors to my friends, or those who truly need them."

Raven gazed at the young woman dubiously as she put the candle back in the leather bag, which seemed to be special itself. Everything about this was drenched in foreboding. "Someday, Vulnavia... we will have to sit down and have a little talk."

"I look forward to it," she said with a Cheshire's smile. "In the meantime, don't be so serious, dear. It adversely affects your mood."

The mystic exhaled loudly and flew out the door, anxious to find an oasis of sanity in this world, and it was fortunate that no one was in the stairway.

She decided to visit an old haunt for lunch as she didn't want to back to the Tower just yet, and didn't want the bother of fixing a meal. The Hyde Out was the first goth club she had adopted, and had been her sanctuary from the Tower for years until The Sepulchre rose to prominence, as it had been the original hot spot in the goth world for the metroplex. It was sad how far it had fallen, as even at the second most recommended club, it lost far more members than it gained, and its reputation couldn't help much.

She was surprised to see that there were quite a few customers inside the gloomy place, but she forgot that it was Tuesday. And though it was the day before Poetry Day, a few would-be gothic bards always did their best to make a name for themselves ahead of time. A few managed to succeed, but the poor sod on the stage now was blathering almost vacantly. Another thing that surprised her was how much lighter the atmosphere was in contrast to The Sepulchre, as if the other club really was becoming a tomb.

She ignored the stares of astonished patrons who caught sight of her as she approached the bar, and the bored looking but elegantly dressed owner, like some grand wizard or vampire prince. He perked up when he noticed her and had to quell an outcry. "Raven! Well... how long has it been since you've come to pay poor banished Zardoz a visit? Centuries?"

She had to giggle, as he was quite the dashing, melodramatic figure, and seasoned all the more with an English accent. His presence alone really should draw more customers. "It seems like it, doesn't it?" she replied, drawing back her hood, and sat the leather bag on the counter.

"What's this?" he asked, indicating the bag. "Shrunken heads, monkey paws? Cursed waffles?"

"You're funny," she laughed, giving him a peek. "But no, hand made candles."

"Black 'n white double spirals... how very Tao." She appreciated the fact he knew how to pronounce it properly, one of the many things that commended him, and she was quite surprised that no one yet had snatched him up permanently. "Ya know, Poetry Day really isn't the same without you, luv. Won't you take the stage and hold everyone captive with one of your chilling sonnets? If I piped it outside, it could double the crowd, knowing you're back." He practically crooned to her in that enchanting accent; he was an emigre from Canada, and worked to thicken it as it fascinated the ladies. It was the second aspect of his personna that had originally attracted her to him, and soon became her favorite as she loved that dialect. He was thirty-ish, outside of her age group, supposedly, but she never cared. She reflected briefly that he was a bit like Robert. Unfortunately, not a true darkie, but she tucked the thought away to dwell on later.

She was caught up in admiring him; the smooth but chizeled Saxon lines of his bronze face, adorned nicely with thick black hair, eyebrows, and a stylish horseshoe moustache with a tuft of whiskers below his lip. And of course by that accent, somehow rough and silk at once, which she could listen to all day. Presently, she became aware that she was staring - not that he wasn't likewise, but it felt awkward, and she blurted out, "Oh! Uhm... no, not today. I came to help with your bank account a little. I need some lunch."

"Awh! For a moment I thought you were gonna float me a loan," he groaned, looking pained. "I hope you're as good a tipper as I hear, I'm barely able to afford me ale."

"I'll see if I can accomodate you," she replied with a half-smile, looking over the menu on the board overhead.

"So, what do ya fancy?" he asked, propping up his head on one arm to gaze at her. "Lobster? Crab?"

Her eyes opened wide at the suggestion, her stomach growling eagerly. "Oh, I love both of them!"

"Sorry, fresh out," he informed her with a thin smile.

She had to laugh, as if he ever carried such fine seafood, and as she punched his arm, she returned her attention to the menu board above. "All right then, you rotten tease, make me a chicken stir fry... with a little extra stir."

"Oh, really?" he said, surprised at her request. "Well, I believe I have a liquour that would suit that nicely. Comin' right up. In fact..." he added, hauling up a portable stove from under the counter, "I could whip it up right here if you don't mind sharing your dark but angelic company with a neglected, depressed old proprietor, and we could catch up on old, _old... auld_ times."

"Hey now, it hasn't been _that_ many centuries," she chuckled. "But... I'd like that. And listen, if you can bear to do without me for about a minute, I might be able to help you with some free advertising."

"Oh really! Well, that would be..." His voice trailed away, gawking at her as she sank into the floor, draped in blackness. "Ace - almost forgot she could do that. Oh! Right, that stir fry..." he muttered, searching for a cannister of propane from under the counter to fuel the stove.

She intended to appear high overhead in a disc of dark energy, but she had to stop for a moment in the shadow of reality and make sure that she wasn't out of sorts. Earlier, she would have to wonder, but she felt fine now, if a bit apprehensive because of Vulnavia's weird gift. Rising about seventy feet above street level, she produced the disc of blackness, swelling it to a good two dozen feet across so that only a blind person could miss it, and emerged through it to drift slowly towards The Hyde Out once again. While there wasn't exactly a stampede, she was gratified that a number of people had seen her little show, and ten or fifteen of them were beating a path to the club.

Half of them had arrived before her as she took her time to get back, making sure she caused a good scene. She didn't care to be around any of them, wanting to make it back to the bar as soon as she could, as she missed Zardoz and his polished flirting, and she was getting hungry. But suddenly, all thoughts of food, the club, the people there, the entire universe died; her mind was overwhelmed with a shock like a punch to her stomach. Sitting off by himself in the darkness, as casually as if he were just another customer, was Slade.

"_You!_" she snarled venomously, erupting before him in a torrent of blackness, her eyes blazing red. "What the _hell are you doing here!_"

"Why, Raven... I was wondering when you would finally tear your eyes away from that charming club owner and notice me-" he began in his infuriatingly serene manner.

"_Shut up!_" she cried, quivering with rage, and began to draw on her powers. "I'll deal with you here and now! _I should squash you like a mellon...!_"

The master criminal raised his hand to her. "Raven, calm down. I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm merely off the clock and need a diversion, the same as you." Watching her intently with that single left eye, he carefully lifted a drink to his mask, passing a straw between the slits over his mouth, and drew on it.

"You've _got_ to be kidding," she growled. "And there's no way you're escaping me. Betraying the Earth to my father... what you did to me... _is unforgivable!_"

"I know," he replied somberly, "and I wouldn't dream of asking for something as impossible as your forgiveness. I wouldn't grant it either. But you should know that I did set Robin off on the path to rescue you, even accompanied him on much of the journey. Actually fought at his side, as it was extremely dangerous-"

"You would never help Robin - _you're lying!_" she interrupted, a fearful second tone sounding in her voice at the end, her eyes burning yellow.

He shook his head, turning to face her fully. "Not this time. You see, I like the Earth the way it is, and you were the only hope of restoring it, assuming you could find the power and will within you to accomplish such an unbelievable feat, which you did, magnificently. What's more, I needed Robin's help too, as the path to you, as well as my stolen humanity, was a deadly gauntlet of demonic foes, much of it along a river of magma. It was rather like fighting through an oven for hours. It took both of us, saving each other at one point or another, to survive long enough to achieve our respective goals. I even helped defeat Trigon, attacking him myself. Quite satisfying, if a bit horrible, facing a monster as large as a building and with the power of a god, even with the capable, if sadly outmatched, Teen Titans doing most of the fighting."

As he spoke, the rage and hatred churning in her stomach faded, and she was stunned as memories of the end of that horrendous battle harmonized with his tale. As hard as it was to believe, at least part of his story was true, and she couldn't help but be curious about the missing pieces of that dreadful time. "He... never said a word about it."

"I can't blame him. We never did get along, save for that one time, and those evil days aren't the sort of thing one wants to reminisce over with friends. Periodically, I myself awaken screaming from nightmares that I'm in that wretched hell all over again, but with no one to save me, and no hope of escape."

"You should take that to heart," she grumbled accusingly. "You have a lot to answer for."

"Strangely enough, Raven, I did for a time," he admitted, fixing her in an enigmatic gaze. "I was in such a state of shock and relief afterward that I pondered what it meant, to have an impossibly precious second chance at life, for months. I wondered if I could just fade into the sea of humanity, incognito, create a new identity and be free. Really, truly free, at last. Able to walk out in the open without worry of someone trying to catch or kill me. Shop, dine, watch a movie, go to a goth club. Send a discreet untraceable email to you Titans, let Robin know how I was making out."

"Like that would ever happen," she muttered. "That's just not in your nature."

He settled back in his chair with a dry chuckle. "How well you understand me, Raven. Yes, it was nothing but a vain, impossible, depressing fantasy. As we all know, the world runs on money, and that was something I simply didn't have in abundance, so I couldn't _retire_, so to speak. But likewise, I couldn't tolerate a nine to five existence, slaving away for some millionaire business owner while I made a pittance, surrendering most my life to a pointless job for decades in some distant hope of a remotely comfortable pension, and the slim chance that Social Security would still be solvent by then. And too old to really enjoy what little wealth remained after taxes, my life essentially over. What kind of living is that? No, I haven't served another human being for many years, and I don't intend to start now."

He leaned forward, telling her, "There is no place in this world for someone like me. I don't belong here. I might as well be an alien. I'm a misfit, Raven, much as you are. Haven't you felt the same way? Surrounded by immature young men who are only interested in your body, not your heart? Uncomfortable in the light, fleeing to the darkness every chance you get? Feeling alienated, even from your friends, who you've lived with for years?"

"Deja vu..." she murmured, then flitted away from him angrily. "Oh, flaming black hell... I can't believe I'm actually listening to this! I almost fell for your bullshit! Is this how you attract apprentices? How you deceived Terra? Do you get your jollies, seducing young kids into your twisted world of evil and manipulation, and Hades knows what else? Feeling _lonely_, Slade? Well, you'll have plenty of _company_ in prison!"

"I'm so misunderstood," he muttered, shaking his head almost sadly. "No... honestly, I just wanted some time out of the dungeon I call home, and I can only get away from it all in someplace like this. You see, it's no fun being trapped, Raven, and my existence is a very real trap. But I intend to do something about that very soon."

"So, just as I thought, you're up to something," she growled, giving him a deadly glare as she backed away. "Well, you can forget your cunning plans. They won't happen. I'm not letting you leave this place!"

"Alive?" he chuckled. "I hope you didn't intend to kill me deadly, because I can has an escape most excellant plan just watch me if you can I'm gletting awray thar will bee shacking evan as yallow whats wrung wath iew..."

She blinked in confusion as things stopped making sense almost the moment he replied, and the reality around her seemed to be losing its grip, much as it had during Stab's concert. Along with that was an acrid smell which frightened her. "What...? What are you saying... _what's going on...?_" She tried to cry out as the world tilted, but she couldn't, then all went dark with a dreadful crash...

A face swam into view, tinged with brown, and all she could remember from a very foggy shard of memory is that it was probably bad, so she swung for it. Not a very strong punch, but she was gratified that it connected and caused him to yelp. But then her stomach clenched as he spoke in a voice that was all too familiar. "Oy there, Raven, simmer down! I wasn't gonna kiss you, just... a little mouth-to-mouth is all..."

"Robert?" she mumbled, blinking, and fought to make sense of what was happening. Then she lurched to her feet, throwing Zardoz off roughly as he began to ask about that name, blushing with embarrassment. "Oh, for the love of Hade - what happened!" She had to cough as the air tasted nasty.

"Well, you called me _Robert_ to start with-" he muttered as he picked himself up, putting up his hands defensively as she glared at him. "_Right_, right... well, seems the propane cannister for the stove was full of something else instead..." he coughed, "coolant, I think... and filled the place with fumes as I tried to light it like a right fool. Must've ruptured about then-"

"Where is he!" she burst out as a terrible memory came into lethal focus. "Slade... _where is he!_"

"Slade?" he asked incredulously, then his voice faded, sounding uncertain. "I don't... know... hu-hey, listen, we should get out-"

She jumped over to a youth from a table nearby as he recovered, demanding, "Where is the man who was just here!"

"Uhh... _man?_" he asked distantly, blinking, coughing and shaking his head. "You mean... Zardy? Behind you-"

She growled in frustration, "Is there no intelligent life _left on this planet?_" She ran for the exit and fresh air, pushing through the dazed clubgoers wandering towards the door, and cast around at the bewildered people out on the sidewalks, but other than the confusion from the disturbance, all was quiet outside. It was obvious that if Slade _had_ been there, no one had seen him. And as she pondered the utter improbability of bumping into her nemesis in a goth club, she decided to head back to the Tower and sort things out privately, muttering, "I can't let this get to me... the last thing in the world I need is to end up like Robin."

"Hey, Raven... _hold up!_" Zardoz called as he emerged from the club behind a few others, just catching sight of the mystic as she vanished into the sidewalk, shrouded in black. "Uhm... see you again in another century, then..." he began with a feeble wave, blinking as money fluttered down in his face. He looked up in time to see a dark hole in the air above him and a somber face with stark violet eyes in its center, gazing down at him wistfully as both faded away.

He knelt to pick up the bills, feeling a bit deflated as he stuffed them in a robe pocket, realizing just how much he missed the strange, pale gray, violet-haired girl. "I'd trade a whole day's worth, just to have some decent, real company like... oh, _listen to me_," he grumbled, cursing himself, and turned back to his club, pushing past the few stragglers to return inside. "Awright you lot, ten minute break while I vent the place out." He grabbed a teen by the wrist without a look, snatching back one of the bills nipped from his pocket, and continued inside.

* * *

><p>Raven went straight for the Main Ops computer console, typing in a query for companies that produced small propane cannisters and other chemicals in the same plant. A few popped up, and four did indeed produce commercial coolants. And one of them could cause hallucinations as a side effect, though fortunately none were all that dangerous.<p>

She sat on the couch, bouncing her leg nervously as she pondered the event. It was silly to think that Slade would have swapped a cannister to cause a diversion, as it would be entirely up to random chance when it was used. No, he would simply drop a gas grenade loaded with a drug to confuse everyone... not that he hadn't. But then, there were questions over the whole encounter. He was a mesmerizing figure, to be sure, but would she have simply stood there, letting him lure her into a lengthy chat? Why appear intentionally at all? Wouldn't it be to his advantage to remain off their radar? Unless it really was a chance encounter... but that seemed absurd. Perhaps he really was up to something, scheming in a bunker somewhere underground; she had sensed it somehow, and this was a vivid hallucination while the chemical vapors had her in a loopy state. The whole thing was much too real, though. Could he have popped up intentionally to nag Robin, send him off the deep end as it had every time before? Now, _that_ made sense. But telling him she met a phantom that might not have even been real, _didn't_, so until she knew better, or Slade crawled out of the shadows himself, the thing to do was keep this quiet. "Besides," she muttered to herself, "it just... _couldn't_ have been him..."

_I just wanted some time out of the dungeon I call home, and I can only get away from it all in a place like this. You see, Raven, it's no fun being trapped, and my dark existence is a very real trap._

She couldn't be sure, and things like this sudden memory rang all too true. It sounded very much like something he would say. And if it _was_ him...

"I let him get away... what dumb, rotten luck," she murmured bitterly. But then, she didn't believe in luck, just fate and destiny, so if he got away, it served some purpose. If this was all a misguided fantasy, it did too. "Maybe... if only to jar me awake from this bad dream I'm stuck in."

She thought perhaps it was time to hang out for a while with Starfire. The alien princess had a knack for banishing the shadows from her soul when she had a problem, and brought forth some much needed light. She began to head for the Tamaranian's room, but remembered that she was involved intimately with Robin now, and decided to check her comm. And sure enough, the display indicated that she was moving, and inexorably towards Robin's location. "Well, there goes that possibility for... a good while."

She sat back, wondering what to do with her afternoon. She could spend some time with Cyborg, but hoped that he was busy repairing her stereo, finally, and didn't want to interrupt that, especially not in her mopey mood. She cringed at the thought of hanging out with Beast Boy, and what zany, pushy, overbearing things he would make her suffer through to cheer her up. "No, that's not happening," she muttered, sitting back and closing her eyes for a moment.

_He leaned over her, gazing at her in concern, at least initially. But another kind of look welled up in his eyes as he gazed at her, a forlorn expression of regret. He murmured as he leaned over her, "Zardo, you'll never get another chance like this." Taking her shoulder in a strong, firm hand, he cupped her cheek tenderly in the other, and leaned close, his eyes shutting as his lips parted - and got a punch to the cheek for his trouble-_

She jerked up straight, gasping in shock and growling, "Why, that letcherous...!" Her voice faded, along with her outrage, as the memory hung in her mind like a cherished painting, and she found that she wasn't upset with him as she touched her cheek where his hand had lingered. "That sweet... oh, _what am I saying?_" she muttered, angry at herself now. "Stealing a kiss while I was out of it, or trying to - even Stab didn't do that. He's just a typical male." But she didn't believe it, not for a moment. And she found herself wishing she hadn't swung for him, and he had taken that kiss...

The phone rang just then, and it wasn't who she was hoping for, but then, only one person knew the number. She pulled it out and looked at the display with the caller's I.D. on it, and stared at it somberly, not feeling like taking it just then. After five rings, voicemail kicked in, and over the speaker she could hear Stab's voice. "Hey, Raven... pick up?" After a few moments, he knew he'd have to keep talking or it would cut him off. "Hey... why didn't you tell me what happened last night? And... what _did_ happen last night? Is something wrong? Uhmm... anyway, gimme a call back. Oh, and you know that those CDs are out now, right? Let me know if you want me to give you one, I have plenty. Anyhow... hope things are going okay for you today. Uhm... see you soon."

She sighed heavily as he hung up, putting the phone back in her bag with an arm that felt like lead, and stared at the floor. And continued staring as the moments passed. "What do I do?" she wondered aloud, though she didn't want to do anything but fly back to The Hyde Out and figure out some charming way to accuse Zardoz of making a move on her. Then blatantly dare him not to. Even as she entertained the notion, she could almost feel Rage clawing at the inside of her skull and audibly screaming, "What the _hell is wrong with you!_"

"I honestly don't know..." she sighed fretfully. But she couldn't sit there forever, or the others would eventually intrude, and annoy her with attempts to weasel something out of her that she would wage unholy war to keep secret. She looked beside her to the bag of candles that needed to be put away and murmured, "Maybe I should, and try to meditate." Just then, her stomach reminded her that she was starving with a long, loud growl that in company would have caused mortal embarrassment. "Maybe... after a sandwich and some tomato juice..."

* * *

><p>Stab gazed forlornly at the open cellphone in his hand. His chest barely moved from shallow breaths as he sat at his desk in his bedroom, and the minutes streamed by, ignored, as his mind sank into a melancholy gloom. Raven hadn't ignored him for so long since the first time he had offended her. But in the phone conversation they had yesterday, she seemed cheerful - as cheerful as the mystic could ever be, anyway, and clearly glad to talk with him. And sweet... as sweet as Raven could be, anyway. Was it because of what happened last night? That was something he still wasn't sure he understood, as the news reports of the incident with the Titans last evening were themselves mixed up. If something was bothering her, he wanted to help, desperately, as he genuinely cared about the reclusive alien girl. Among other things...<p>

But that was the problem. Raven was an almost devoutly introverted being, and kept almost everything about herself cloaked in secrecy, perhaps even to her teammates. What hope did a simple guitar player in a college garage band have in getting to know a girl so mysterious and solitary, so otherworldly and rare?

He flipped his phone onto the bed with a groan. "Raven... come _on!_ Let me in to your secret world, _please?_ You can't shut out everyone... can you?" He concluded with a sigh that if anyone could, it would be her.

One thing he couldn't do was waste his day sulking. He had a term paper to write on DSP chips. Word was trickling in that people were growing interested in Hangman as a serious band, and possible gig offers were being discussed by the guys. And even if nothing panned out, they should practice anyway, or the new guitar player, Torn, would pester them until they did. "Crap... I need a forty hour day to do all this, and have a chance in hell of spending any quality time with..."

Just as he was about to say her name, his phone gave its generic ringtone for strangers. He felt foolish as he pounced on it out of reaction, glimpsing the display with dwindling interest. "Trent _Null?_ Who the heck... cares?" he muttered, deciding to let voicemail take it for him. But as the message played over the small speaker, his eyes opened wide in surprise.

"_Hello... this is Trent Null. I don't know if you're familiar with me, but I'm a music promoter which expanded my operations in the southwest. I caught your performance the other night and have been trying to reach you-_"

"Hello!" Stab blurted out a bit too loudly, chastizing himself under his breath and fighting to calm down as he mashed the phone to his cheek. "Uhm... sorry, but I was... occupied-"

"That's quite all right," the promoter replied smoothly. His voice was deep, cultured, disturbingly polished. "So, what shall I call you? Stab, or...?"

"Sure-" he began to reply, then it occurred to him that going by a punky goth nick probably wasn't all that professional. "Or... Jason Kouga, whichever you prefer."

"Kouga... Japanese for _wolf_," he drawled thoughtfully. "Well... tell me, Jason... just how _hungry_ are you to perform professionally, and on a regular basis?"

"Uh... _ravenous_," he chuckled, then cringed at how juvenile that sounded, and added quickly, "Hey, it's why every band plays... every serious band, anyway. Just... what exactly are we talking about as far as _regular?_"

There was a deep, masculine chuckle in his ear. "I like a man who cuts to the chase. But rather than discuss this over the phone... why don't we talk about this privately, right now?"

He blinked in amazement. "_Now?_"

"Certainly. I'm parked just outside," the man said to him matter of factly.

Stab looked out his window, expecting a BMW or Lexus, but nearly dropped the phone when a massive black limousine with appropriately dark windows loomed in his vision. "_Holy sh-!_" Fumbling his phone back into place, he replied in a slightly calmer tone, "Sorry, uhh... yeah, I'll be out in ten seconds."

"Wonderful," he replied with a smile in his voice. "Don't be late."

"Oh I won't," he blurted out, closing his phone, then growled at himself. "He was _joking_, idiot! Good grief... calm down. You're acting like a complete newb!" Rummaging a pair of slippers from under his bed, and thinking he was dressed more or less presentably, he shoved his feet into them and scampered for the front door.

"Going out long?" his father called from the living room, shielded by a newspaper.

"No! Maybe! Prob'ly not! Oh... I'll be back soon!" he exclaimed, lunging through the front door, and then forced himself into a steady, even stride as he approached the limo. He wished briefly that the vehicle was parked further away to give him time to collect his thoughts, but fate denied him that blessing. Before he knew it, the gleaming door opened, and he practically fell into a sofa-like seat spanning the cavernous interior. He found himself engulfed in a luxurious, chilly environment of fragrant leather, wood, musky cologne, liquor, and a trace of middle-age male breath.

Sitting across from him was the promoter, a man who exuded sheer strength, power and confidence, dressed in a fine two-piece suit, his chiseled face framed by a brown goatee and long hair tied in a ponytail just visible behind his head. He was flanked by two broad-shouldered ruffians who looked for all the world like well dressed Mafia muscle. Null's eyes were piercing, hawkish, somehow even more severe looking than Raven's, and his handshake crushing. Stab had enough sense to know that he was completely outclassed, and at this man's mercy, whatever form it took. "Well, Jason... may I call you Jason?" he asked politely. The youth nodded, occasional syllables tumbling out. "Splendid. Then... let me cut to the chase myself. I have a band I'm working to establish in the top twenty-five of the metal charts within the year. They have been playing locally in small venues... . Perhaps you've heard of them?" he asked leadingly.

More random syllables spilled out. He was growing red-faced now, and felt utterly foolish. He _had_ heard of them - who hadn't? - as they had exploded recently on the music scene out of nowhere. But he couldn't manage to grab the reigns of his runaway emotions just yet to say so. And the top twenty-five? That was seriously ambitious! While he relished this opportunity, he felt like a swimmer among sharks.

"Good. I had hoped their name was penetrating this market. I'm having trouble finding a good band to front for them, though. The one I'm running currently... Slayed, is just not meeting my expectations, and frankly, I have issues with that name." This caused Stab to blink in surprise, as Slayed was a new band on the scene also, but had made their mark on the southwest circuits as a respected talent. "Now, I know that your group, Hangman, is much more varied and adventurous than simple headbanging rock. But I liked what I saw the other night. You work with talented musicians who know their stuff, and your arrangements are impeccable. You have a great voice, stage presence, and know how to work a crowd as good as any I've seen. And I think your group would make a great opening act for ." He laced his fingers, settling his hands in his lap, and gazed at Stab expectantly. "How does two-thousand sound?"

He tried to formulate an intelligent sounding inquiry, but could only manage a tentative, "Per...?"

"Per person." Stab's eyes bugged out, but the promoter wasn't done. "Per show."

His heart began hammering in his chest, and it became difficult to hear over the rush of blood in his ears. And worse, he found it even harder to form simple words, but at last, he managed to mumble out, "How... soon would you... want us to start?"

"Would Thursday be too soon?" When Stab shook his head emphatically, the man gave him a warm, rich-looking smile that seemed to bestow wealth and power. "Excellent. I have a subsequent show on Saturday, and am closing a deal on a concert this Friday as well. Are you up to it, Jason?"

His hand shot out, ready for a strong handshake. "You... got yourself an act."

* * *

><p>Starfire approached the gym timidly, listening to Robin go through his rigorous martial arts training. She stood in the entrance, watching as he practiced in his gi, so dashing, strong and handsome, even though he was actually the weakest of them all. He never let himself seem that way, taking on opponents much larger and stronger than himself without visible fear, and in a way that was beyond even the courage of her own people. Her heart melted for him all over again as he attacked a mokujin, or wooden dummy, rods of wood jutting from a thick pole, which he was banging his hands and arms against almost savagely to make them stronger. But she had to wonder fretfully, "Do you still wish to be alone... am I <em>indeed<em> more important to you than your precious team, and role as leader? Or not?"

He could sense his fiancé drawing near somehow before she came anywhere within view, even as tired as he was, and a part of him could clearly perceive her as she leaned pensively against the doorway. "Starfire... come in!" he barked out between moves, panting and dripping with sweat, emphasized loudly by the force he used to attack his wooden foe. He hoped she understood that, and didn't think he was being gruff with her.

She wanted to grab him and do with him the things he did to her last night, and realized that she was succumbing to an attitude the Earthlings had an unflattering term for: obsessing. And it was true; she was engrossed now with the handsome young man, and the touch of his body. She wanted to waste no time, but go through the Earth ritual which would bind them together for all eternity, to be his bumglorf, his _gerendan_, or everlasting mate, so this separation would be over and done. But it was obvious that he was in no such hurry, and the thought frustrated her. "Robin..." she asked timidly as she stepped closer, "have you not yet... expended enough of your steam?"

On the other hand, Robin felt intimidated and embarrassed at the thought of a lover who was far stronger than he was, and the vexing memory of how she lifted him to his feet as if he were a small child stung in his mind. But then he became aware of that carnal desire burning in her, unless it was all in his own body. Regardless, he was dismayed at how physically drawn to her he felt, and attacked the wooden pole all the harder, and unfortunately growled with the sound of anger. "Uhmm... maybe, just... _a half hour more!_"

Starfire was a princess from a long line of royal Tamaran soldiers, and as much as she buried this animal nature under a warm, tender demeanor, that part of her was not to be brushed aside so lightly. Robin gasped as he was yanked around, and found himself facing an infuriated Tamaranian warrior, her eyes blazing green. "Then perhaps you require an opponent _who can fight back!_ Prepare yourself, _maene khal'nthor!_"

"Starfire, _what-!_" he exclaimed in shock as she drove her fist down at his forehead like a hammer. He had to jump back as she pounded clean through the mat where he'd been standing, and gaped at her in fear. "What's gotten into you!"

"Do not waste time speaking when you should be _attacking!_" she yelled, coming for him again with clear intent to do bodily harm.

"Ohmygosh," he gasped, blocking, weaving, jumping, dodging, everything he could to avoid those deadly fists thrown at him in anger. This was too much like the time of her arrival on Earth, and the ferocity of her attacks was frighteningly real. "Listen, if it's about lunch-"

He flew backwards as a fist struck his jaw, landing him on his back, and for a moment he fought to see through star-blurred vision. "This is not about food! This is about _survival!_" she exclaimed, throwing herself at him with a bloodthirsty cry which rang throughout the Tower.

Elsewhere, three voices in separate locations said almost in unison, "I'd... better go see about this..."

Robin back-rolled to regain his feet, dodging another fist aimed for his head, grabbed her wrist and used her momentum to throw her over his hip. She landed hard on the mat, gasping from the fall. He struggled to put her arm in a submission hold, planted his foot in her stomach and shouted, "Starfire... I don't want to hurt you!"

"Then," she growled, "you had best _defeat me!_" He lost his grip as she wrenched out of it, giving a yelp as she threw her legs up to kick him a dozen feet away, winded as he fell on his chest.

As she landed on top of him, he cried incredulously, "_Defeat_ you?" What an impossible challenge that was - she could singlehandedly bring down the Tower! But as she groped along his torso, it occurred to him that he should have been pounded into submission within seconds, and it felt more like fondling rather than an attempt to seize him - she was holding back, mostly playing with him! '_Oh, for crying out loud... of all the ways to get a guy's attention!_' he grumbled inwardly, driving an elbow into her side. She gasped sharply, her strength withering, and he slipped from her grasp. Unlike her, he would have to fight back seriously if he had any hope of winning, and he resented her putting him through this ordeal.

Just then, the three others showed up, gaping at the sight in shock. Raven nibbled her sandwich absently as she watched in wide eyed amazement. "What the heck got into Starfire?" Beast Boy gasped. "We gotta stop 'er!"

"For real," Cyborg agreed, "before Robin ends up on disability retirement!"

As the two males began to charge in, Raven grabbed them both and yanked them around the corner, her sandwich dangling from her mouth. Beast Boy turned on her, swatting her hand away angrily. "Raven, what the heck is your problem! You saw what's goin' on! Do you _want_ Robin to get tenderized Tamaranian style?"

"Seriously, Ray!" Cyborg added hotly. "If we don't break this up, Robin doesn't stand a chance!"

She rolled her eyes heavenward as if for strength. "Yes, _normally!_ Haven't you noticed yet that Robin seems to be holding his _own?_"

As they peered around the corner, Beast Boy remarked, "Now that you mention it, he hasn't exactly been creamed into a big bloodspot topped with hair gel..."

"I don't get it, though... what the heck brought this on?" Cyborg pondered aloud. "First argument?"

"Who knows. But it should be fun to watch," Raven answered, though she had a vague idea. Then she looked to the pair mischievously. "So, who wins?"

"I've got twenty on Starfire," Cyborg said with a grin. "Robin may be a hyper-competitive junior tyrant, but Star's no quitter, and she can benchpress a bus."

"I'm with Cy-man! I bet Star's servin' notice for a better date this weekend," Beast Boy enthused, though it faded as he fished out what little money was in his wallet. "Uhm... for three and some change."

"You're on," Raven declared, taking a big bite of her sandwich. As well as she knew the Tamaranian, she had a feeling that this was a sure bet.

They watched, mesmerized by the contest between the two lovers; the beautiful but powerful alien girl, and the young, agile, muscular but much weaker Earthling leader, who had to use every trick in his arsenal of moves just to keep fighting. It became something of a sensuous dance as the lightly clothed girl threw herself at her betrothed again and again in tireless attacks of raw, brute strength, while he relied on precise techniques delivered in fluid, skillful movements. He had to pace himself though, having spent a lot of energy in his training earlier, and used the gear around the gym as obstacles.

He dove through the rails of the treadmill and rolled to his feet away from her, turning in the same liquid movement so that he could try to guess her next attack. She took two swift steps on a tangent from him and launched herself through the air from a springboard, flipping once in the air and descending with her left heel extended to smash, her right leg cocked to deflect a potential counter-attack. His heart pounded as he lunged to his right, performing a side roll almost too late, her heel brushing his thigh as she landed. "But Starfire-" he began.

"There will be _no buts!_" she exclaimed, and the three spectators had to stifle brief, nervous laughter. "This will end only when one of us is victorious!"

He rolled so as to be behind her when she landed, and launched himself at her, trying for a choke hold, and a slim chance of cutting off either air or blood enough to disable her. She wasn't about to succumb to such a weak move, and snapped her head backward, driving it into his forehead. His knees buckled for a moment, then he cried out as she grabbed his arm, swinging him over her head as easily as a pillow to smash him onto one of the mats beside them. He landed hard, dazed and winded.

"Uhm... are you _sure_ Starfire's just playin' around?" Beast Boy asked worriedly. "This looks like it's gettin' kinda serious..."

Raven began to have doubts herself as Starfire seemed to be giving in to her own primal nature, honed from thousands of generations of warrior folk. But still, it wasn't quite as bad as what they suffered in a bad run through the obstacle course. There was no blood, and Robin barely had a scratch on him. "Let's just watch. Robin means the world to her. If things get out of hand, we'll know it." Still, as she polished off her sandwich and gulped down some juice, she hoped they would have the chance to intervene if they needed to, and the strength...

He had to shake his head to banish the fog, and struggled to orient things in his mind to figure some way out of his predicament. As his vision cleared, it revealed the sole of her boot threatening to stomp his face. He rolled to his side and flung his arm up as her foot crashed down, the toe grazing the back of his head tenderly. He hooked his arms behind her knees and continued his roll so that her legs buckled, and he flung her forward onto her stomach. He had one more desperate move to try and end this quickly, throwing himself on her back. He pinched a thread of nerves in her neck which was paralyzing. It was painful, he knew, but he was genuinely growing afraid of the Tamaranian. "Sorry to... do this to you, Star," he gasped, "but... this has to end!"

She hissed, pushing herself to her hands and knees, "And it would have... if I were an Earthling!" He gaped at her in dismay, realizing his mistake too late as she rose up, grabbing him by the sleeve before he could escape. His stomach lurched as she swung him around by the arm with ease, flinging him into the heavy sparring bag hanging from its chain, and almost pulled his gi top from his torso.

He dropped heavily to the mat below, ducking as the bag swung back, and panted anxiously, "What the heck do I do...!" His top was hanging open, and he tried briefly to tug it back into place, scrambling to his feet as she came for him. He kept the large bag between them, and tried one more time to reason with her. "Starfire... for crying out loud... stop! This is getting... out of hand-!"

"Is this how you defeat Cinderblock, a golum of living stone?" she demanded loudly, her eyes glowing a feaful looking green. "Or Plasmus, with his incessant attacks of unsavory slimes? Or Control Freak, when he turns convenient home appliances into weapons against you? Or Mumbo with his hatful of underhanded tricks? Or Johnny Rancid, as he attacks you with his machinery as well as demeaning remarks? Or _Slade?_" She threw a punch to the bag, snapping it from the chain and sending it flying hard right into the young leader. "Do you _talk them to death?_"

The others gasped from their cover at the sight, especially Raven at the mention of their archnemesis. But fortunately, that was the easiest blow from Starfire he had suffered yet, and as he hauled the bag and himself to his feet, a string of potential actions came to mind. "Whatever _works!_" he growled, throwing the heavy bag at the girl with everything he had. As he expected, she drove it aside with a sweep of her arm. He had pulled off his top, and snapped it around her forearm while she was distracted. She cried out in surprise as he yanked on it hard, throwing her into the supports for the parallel bars, hopefully just enough to stun her, then flung her the opposite direction with all his might, not wasting a precious instant to make sure she was.

She struggled to her feet, groggy for a moment, and annoyed as she found the gi top wrapped around her arm. She undid it and flung it aside, looking up in shock to see Robin swinging right at her using the gymnastic rings. He drove his bare feet into her upper chest, and as she went flying back in a daze, he performed a spinning dismount, landing unsteadily as his strength was just about spent. He had not a moment to spare, throwing himself on the half-sensible girl before she recovered, turning her over and straddling her back as he yanked off his black belt. She gasped as she came to fully, and realized that Robin was binding her arms behind her, smiling and feeling warm at the pressure of his body on top of her.

Dripping with sweat, he wheezed as he rolled her over, straddling her belly as he planted his hands beside her to hold himself up, "Okay... is that... _victory enough for you?_"

As she caught her breath, panting a bit herself, she replied with a smile, "Yes, Robin... congratulations. You have won... and captured your foe... against impossible odds... which would make any Tamaranian proud... especially myself."

"Great..." he gasped, leaning down, and exclaimed, "Now... _don't do that to me again!_ Okay? I... didn't know what to think... and if I'd hurt you..."

"Oh, Robin..." she breathed softly, "I would never truly hurt you... and I trust that you would not allow... any harm to come to me either..." Her smile widening, she murmured, "In any case... I am your prisoner. What would you do with me?"

The question was as unexpected as her attack, and he practically fell from her in shock, then he began laughing at the bizarre situation, and even more from the bewildered look in her eyes. And then as he recovered, he became aware that he was lying beside a scantily clad and quite ravishing girl, one that he was deeply in love with - and tied up, no less. It was impossible to ignore the gleam of desire in her eyes, the silken sheen of her lips, or the way her chest moved as she caught her breath, and it was just as hard to stay angry at her. Shaking his head with a wry smile, he told her as he lay across her and brought his lips close to hers, "I suppose... an interrogation is in order..."

Raven gasped as his beltless gi pants began to sag, a sign as blatant as fireworks that it was darn well time to go. "Okay guys, show's over," she whispered, though Cyborg had already clued in, his metal hand clamping down over Beast Boy's head as he began to oogle the young couple, turning him away.

"Aww, come on," the changeling whined quietly as they left, "just as it's gettin' good - _ow!_" He yelped as Raven smacked him in the back of the head. "Hey, I was kidding! Kinda..."

Cyborg stopped chuckling as she held her hand forth at him, saying, "Pay up."

"Okay, Capone, hold on," he muttered as he drew a twenty from a compartment in his hip. "Man, hasn't even been a minute yet..." When he gave it to her, though, it was with a smile. "I'll get back to work on that stereo of yours. It shouldn't be much longer."

She looked up to him gratefully as they reached the stairs. "Hey, if you get it going by tonight, I'll _so_ make it up to you." As the changeling began to snicker, she grumbled, "And it won't be _anything_ like you're thinking."

Cyborg had to laugh at them. "Aw man, and here I was lookin' forward to another scandal in the team! But it'll be done real soon, Ray, and you'll be back to rockin' your room with the evil tunes."

"Thanks, Cyborg," she said, her eyes gleaming with affection. "This... really means a lot to me."

As they reached the floor of their quarters, he turned to give her a smile as he peeled off for his work area. "I know. I dig music almost as much as you do. And I wouldn't go anywhere, just sayin'..."

Beast Boy was glum as he kept pace with Raven on the way to their own rooms, a few uncomfortable thoughts bouncing around in his mind. "Man... I wish you guys appreciated _me_ that much," he muttered quietly as he dumped what little money he had from his wallet, then held it out to her as they paused at her door. "Here ya go. Don't spend it all in one pop machi-"

He looked to the mystic in surprise as she closed his hand on it with a half smile. "No, keep it. I can't take your last few cents from you, it's just not right. And... you know, you're older now than Robin was when he formed the team - _not that it really shows_," she added under her breath, looking askance. "I'll see if I can talk our fearless leader into giving you something more like an actual allowance now, instead of just tofu taco money once a week."

His eyes widened in amazement, and he gushed, "Wow... _thanks_, Raven... a lot!"

"Well, we _were_ going to make it part of a birthday surprise," she admitted with a smirk, "but that's hardly what I consider a present. And it being spring, a new year and all - and how you tend to beg _everyone_ for a few bucks here and there, I think it's about time."

His eyes sparkled as he told her gratefully, "That's really great of you. And, uhh... _while we're on the subject_..." His voice trailed off as his smile became guilty; he hated to beg for money after such an expression of generosity, but three dollars wasn't much to have on hand in case he saw a nice trinket he could buy for Angela.

She fixed him in a droll stare for a moment, and just as he was about to let it drop, she gave him the twenty from Cyborg's bet, then tussled his green mop of hair with a thin smile. "Here... consider this an advance."

"Wow, Raven..." he murmured in near adoration, "That's just... awesome of you. And, uhm... listen..." He rubbed the back of his head self-consciously as his smile vanished, his mood darkened, and his voice grew emotional. "I have to appologize for, like... _not_ bein' so awesome... in fact, for bein' a little green brat to you lately..."

"What do you mean-?" she began, then it struck her painfully that he had also been eavesdropping on her rant, and most likely Cyborg too. "Oh, crapping hell," she moaned, leaning against the wall and hiding her face. "_Everyone_ must know what a complete ass I am..."

"Hey, Raven," he said to her gently, reaching for her hand. "Come on, it's our fault... well, mostly mine. We take you for granted way too much... we don't think of how different you are, all _dark_ and all..." He tried to smile, but as she looked to him, her miserable expression was like a stake through his heart. He squeezed her hand as he blurted out, "Raven, please... I'm really sorry - _I don't mean to hurt you_-"

"I know," she murmured, facing him, and stroked his hair lightly with her other hand. "Listen... I'm just in some kind of mood lately, that's all. It'll pass. Don't worry about it. And just be yourself. If I make you afraid to show your face around me, that won't be any good either."

She gave him one of her closed-eyed smiles, and he hoped that it was genuine. "You sure? Uhm... well, I'll still try and cut down the stupidness a gear or two. Just lemme know if I get on your nerves, okay?"

She gave him a melancholy chuckle and a meaningful look. "Since when have I ever failed to do _that?_"

"Yeah, right on that count..." he murmured, shuffling his feet as he lingered uncertainly. Then before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed the surprised mystic in a tight hug, burying his face in her bosom and wheezing, "Raven, _I'm so sorry_..."

She closed her eyes as the money fell from his hand, coins clanging on the floor, and she settled her arms around him in return, her fingers playing lightly through his short hair. "I know, Garfield... I know," she told him softly as he leaned into her, sniffling, and rested her head against his for a moment. She hated to say this, but she was growing uncomfortable, and added, "Uhm... five seconds..."

"Uh right, right... sorry," he blurted out as he flinched away, wiping his nose on his sleeve and doing his best not to look tearful. She was very glad he had enough sense to keep from drawing things out with sappy emotionalism. "Uhm... hey, why don'cha get outta here 'n do something fun for a while? It's a nice day..."

"I will, eventually," she replied with a thin smile. "Right now, I think I should get in some meditation time, and think up a good line to use on Robin concerning that allowance. And you had _better_ be on your best behavior for the next few days if you want it."

"Yeah... guess I should, but not just for that," he muttered with a lopsided, snaggletoothed smile. "Uhm... hey, thanks again, for everything. For bein' my friend, and not killing me. And don't be a stranger, 'kay?"

She began to chuckle, but that last request touched her, after all she had said and done to the sometimes exasperating teenager. "I won't... see you for supper." She hurried into her room, whispering as she leaned against the wall, "You sweet little gremlin..."

After settling her emotions, she strolled to her bed and sat on it, but it was hard to feel like meditating just then, or to keep from thinking of her friends she had offended. But as she sat there, her tensions fading, her mind wandered to the young couple in the gym, of all things, and what they must be doing. It was foolish, but she couldn't get it out of her head, wondering what it was like to be with another...

A while later, Raven reappeared in her room, hugging herself forlornly, nearly aching from humiliation and guilt. She had violated almost everything she believed and adhered to, as well as her friends' privacy. The young couple hadn't _quite_ been intimate with each other, but weren't wearing much either, and she had lingered much longer than felt comfortable, unable to tear herself away from the sight. "What the hell is _wrong with me!_" she growled accusingly to herself. "There's porn all over the net, if I wanted to... this isn't like me at all!" But she had already answered that question; she wanted to see what real, genuine love was like between two lovers. It was something she had never, ever known, and feared deeply that she never would. But to resort to this? She wondered if any living being could ever feel more foolish and ashamed, and curled up on her bed in tears.

After a good cry, she sat up and settled herself, reconfirming her oaths, especially to her teammates. She could never, ever, confess this transgression to anyone, and soothed herself by swearing she would never again violate her friend's privacy. Then, doing her best to calm herself, she assumed the lotus position and began to intone her meditative mantra. "Azarath, Metrion, Zyntho-"

Just then, there was a soft white light and a buzz which made her clench, the signal for someone at the front doors. She looked up with one eye, groaning, "Oh, please... I just went through one of the worst mornings of my life, right after one of the worst _nights_ of my life, and I just want to get away for a while. Surely Cyborg or Beast Boy can check on that."

"Well... let's see what brown did for us today," Cyborg remarked, closing the doors with a box in his hands a good two feet square and almost as tall. He had been in the middle of installing a ribbon tweeter onto one of Raven's speakers, but knew better than to rely on Beast Boy to see to this. And of course, Robin and Starfire were _occupied_. Looking at the delivery address, he had to grin. "Hey, a li'l somethin' for Raven to herself. This should cheer her up some."

"Really?" He looked up at the voice of Beast Boy as he approached. "Hey, Cy, you suppose I could run that up to 'er?"

He looked to the changeling dubiously. "Uhh... B.B., that depends. You aren't gonna pull one o' those stunts you _think_ is so cute 'n funny, but get you hung by a chain _outside_ all night, are ya?"

"No!" he growled, grabbing the box, though Cyborg held onto it. "I just wanna do somethin' nice... I haven't done anything for her in like forever."

"Yeah, besides drive 'er up the wall with your dopey jokes," he said with a grin, still holding onto the package, though he decided to stop ribbing the teen. "Okay, but... seriously, just _give her the box_. Don't do anything _more_ than that. There's a chance of heavy rain tonight - just a friendly warnin'."

"Okay, _okay!_" he grumbled, snatching the box away. "Sheesh... get hung out one night, and you can't ever let it drop."

He chuckled, "Dude! That's not somethin' that _ever_ drops." He watched the youth trot off for the elevator with his prize, pondering what had inspired the change in him. "Huh... I guess they had a little heart to heart chat after I left. Leave it to Raven... guess that girl's gonna be all right." He realized that the speakers weren't going to fix themselves, saying, "Better get back to 'em and give 'em a good breakin' in, so she can hit the concert level stuff this evening."

Beast Boy approached Raven's door, but felt embarrassed as he stood before it, after experiencing that emotional moment a while earlier. "Oh, I know!" he said brightly, and bolted off for his room. He returned a few minutes later with a sheet of paper taped to the top of the box. Placing it strategically in front of the door, he knocked, calling loudly, "Oh Miz _Raaaven!_ Special delivery!" He then scampered for the corner of an adjoining hallway to watch, grinning.

Her arms dropped to her side as she settled to the bed, groaning, "Oh, _pleeease_... what gods have I offended to deserve all this trouble!" Still, she knew that Beast Boy wouldn't give up until she answered, so she resignedly went to the door, though she didn't see anyone there. "Uhm.. hello? Beast Bo-?" She gave a yelp as something parked much too close to the door caught her foot, and she tumbled headlong over it to the floor, suffering a rough, undignified landing, her cloak flipped over her head. She snapped it back into place, nursing stinging palms, and growled angrily, "If this is one of Beast Boy's idiotic ideas to cheer me, I swear I'll chain him up outside again!"

Cyborg saw the teen lurking at the corner, and joined him just in time to witness this, hissing guardedly, "Dude! Did I or did I _not_ tell you to just hand her the freakin' box!"

"I _know!_" he whispered back loudly. "But we had a scene earlier, and I just couldn't."

"Well, this is sure gonna fix _that_, isn't it?"

"Not that kind of _scene_, okay?" he grumbled. "We just... hey, look."

She knelt beside the box, stroking over the paper taped to it, with a childish looking stick figure in green marker of the changeling, and the message,

_Look what I found addressed to the coolest Titan ever! Hope this makes your day._

_Luv, BB._

"You sweet little pest..." she murmured, savoring the happy moment, as in her life they were all too rare. "But... who ordered this-?" she wondered, flipping the page away to look at the shipping details. She gasped sharply as she saw part of the manifest, and realized that _she_ had. "Ohmygosh... I completely forgot!" she blurted out, snatching up the box, and lunged back into her room with her prize.

"Well... after an unexpected complication, I'd say this was mission accomplished," Beast Boy declared with a satisfied grin.

"Gotta say, there, Bee, your guardian angels must be workin' overtime," Cyborg remarked with a smile. "I was sure you were gonna be campin' outside tonight, like a bat."

"Hey, _this_ is the opening chapter of the _new_, more _responsible_ Beast Boy," he informed his friend. "And I'll finally have some respect around here... you'll see."

Cyborg had to snicker, ruffling the lad's green hair. "I think we'd better wait a few months before we declare _that_ mission accomplished, li'l buddy."

Raven went through quite a spectrum of emotions on the short trip between the door and her bed, beginning with excitement and joy, and ending in trepidation. It was the order she had made; music and videos of The Cure. And even though it was likely only part of it, the box contained hours and hours of performances featuring Robert Smith, the man she loved. And a love which was the catalyst bringing her entire world crashing down around her.

"I... can't look at this just yet," she murmured regretfully. "I'm already too unstable." She flipped the page taped to the top back into place, desiring with all her heart that Beast Boy's wish on it for her could come true. But that kind of magic was a childish dream.

She set it down in front of her closet door, and stared at it. And stared. She wanted to open it, badly, dump the contents onto her bed and roll herself into the blanket with them covering her, immersed in the latent energies of the magical music and the man who produced it, and _finally_ force herself to have a romantic dream with Robert. It took a Starfire-level effort to not do that, but instead, urge herself to open the door and push the box inside. The door opened, but still she stared at it, and at the wall decorations inside which seemed to beg for freedom, to adorn her walls once more. "Quit playing games, Raven... this is stupid," she grumbled to herself in that rough, ugly voice, and thought briefly of researching some magickal method to improve it.

She touched it with the toe of her soft boot, and ever so slowly, slid it inside. Then with the same slow, smooth motion, drew it back out, and stared at it some more. "I should... check over the contents, at least... make sure everything is alright."

'Just not today,' she thought, but the next thing she knew, it was on the bed, and she had knifed through the tape sealing it shut, yanked out the paper stuffing keeping her from her treasure, and gawked at it. Stacks of CDs and DVDs with strange but attractive covers, and with the overly decorated letters which spelled out the name of the band, as if made of bones or twisted spirits. And on one of the DVDs, the uplifted face of Robert, his face contorted with emotion, as if crying out for her.

She sat beside the box, drawing out the DVD and held it to her bosom, gazing at it lovingly. As her eyes lingered on it, forlorn, melancholy emotions welled up in her heart, and with them, tears which caused the image, and the world around it, to melt and swim in a blur of sorrow. He wasn't there... he likely didn't even know she existed, other than as some abstract, legendary figure far away from him and unreachable. And unwanted... but, oh, how she wanted him, _ached for him_...

Abruptly, she was filled with dread at the awful realization of what was happening all over again inside her. She practically threw the DVD back into the box, slapped the top closed and shoved the package into the closet, slamming the door shut. As she leaned against it, wiping her face, she knew that she had better heed Beast Boy's advice. "I have to get out of here... I can't deal with this today."

She had no idea right then what to do, but on the way out, she thought it would be a good idea to visit the changeling and thank him for the note, but found his typically rubbish-filled room empty. Noting the snow shovel leaning against a wall, she concluded, "Looks like he started to clean his room, then realized what an ordeal it would be." Checking her comm, she was surprised to see that he was with Cyborg, and doubted he would let Beast Boy out of his chore unless something was up. Perhaps her stereo was almost ready.

Hoping that was true, she crept towards Cyborg's room, as the door was open. Both of them were inside, talking. And sure enough, her speakers were on an "operating" table as the cyber-technician screwed a speaker element in place on the front. They looked almost ready to play. Then her mood darkened as she heard what they were discussing.

"...You gonna hit up with Terra again today?" Cyborg asked. When that was obvious, he added, "And what did you say she calls herself now?"

"Angela. She doesn't wanna even hear the name _Terra_ anymore... and that's really sad," Beast Boy replied somberly. "All those times we had together... all those memories... they're gone now. And Terra was so cool... man, it's so _unfair!_"

Cyborg gazed at his friend in sympathy. "Hate to remind you of this, kid, but life has a bad habit o' bein' unfair. It may sound kinda harsh, but... ya gotta deal with whatever the world throws at ya." He set his screwdriver down as it looked like the changeling was growing upset over his rather blunt advice, and gave his head of green hair a tussle. "Hey... I guess that wasn't the best way to say that, was it? But... lookit, you still got 'er as a friend, right?"

"Yeah... that's true," he murmured, smoothing his hair back, and his lips curled into a faint smile. "It's just... hard to let go of that part of 'er... she was really special."

"As long as she still is, that's what really matters, right?" he told the youth with a smile. "Especially if she _is_ an angel now."

"She _is_," Beast Boy insisted. "She's just upset about the probs with her dad 'n that dumb job of his. And... well, her amnesia, and stuff. And remember, it's _Angela_, so smack someone if we're ever around and they start to use the T-word, okay?"

"Uh... sure, kid, but I wouldn't be takin' her on any tours of the Tower any time soon," Cyborg told him advisedly. "Especially after... you know, what happened."

"Dude!" the lad growled. "Give me credit for havin' _half a brain_, okay? I was ready to rip 'er a new one too, ya know, till she finally came to her senses-"

"Okay, okay, I'm just sayin'." As his friend calmed down, nodding, Cyborg pondered an obvious question, and decided to ask it. "One thing though... are you _sure_ this is Terra? I mean... no one else has even seen 'er-"

"Cyborg, she is exactly like Terra, and I mean _exactly_," he stressed. "The same egg-shaped head 'n long blond hair, the same attitude, talks the same way... she even gets upset like Terra did." He scuffed at the floor in a mope. "I wish I could make things different for her... she seems to struggle with everything now."

"Yeah, and she's a middle-teen... great combination," he added, seating the final screw in place. "Hey, Bee... listen, I'm no psychologist, but from what you told me, you probly should be careful with this girl. She sounds like she's not in the most stable condition, so you gotta go easy on 'er. Treat 'er like an abused teen."

He cringed at the advice, grumbling unhappily, "I wish you hadn't put it like that-" His alarm went off just then, stopping it as he turned to leave. "Well... time ta go. Wish me luck."

"Just take it easy on the girl, like I told ya, and you're solid," he called to the lad with a grin.

As the changeling eagerly bolted off for his appointment at the Catholic high school, he missed Raven gazing at him with a dark expression from around a corner. She didn't know what to make of this development yet, but knew what she would be doing this afternoon, and would damn well find out...

* * *

><p>Beast Boy showed up too early, much to his chagrin, staring at the massive Christ figure above the entrance from the open front gate. On a whim, he began waving. "Uhm... yo! Jesus? You suppose you could let a cute young student named Angela out a <em>fewwww<em> minutes early, so a certain superhero boyfriend of hers could have a little extra quality time with 'er? Before her dad sends 'er to Siberia for the night?" They had a brief staring match which the changeling had enough sense to know he'd never win, then gazed at the front doors somberly. "Hey, just askin'..."

He picked a spot along the wall lining the schoolyard, squatting against it in the grass to wait, and stretched with a languid, drawn out yawn. "Dang it... didn't get a whole lotta sleep last night, then couldn't sleep in when the alarm went off. Was too caught up in thinkin' about Angela. And... well, sleepin' at my desk didn't help much either." He yawned again, his lids drooping. "And no nap yet... maybe, now would be a good time for a quickie... while I wait..."

He looked up to the tall stone or concrete image of the deity once more and asked, "Hey, one more thing. Aren't you supposed to watch over kids 'n all? How come you let such awful things happen to Terra?"

He gaped at the figure in utter shock as its eyes came open, and it responded in a way that was majestic and fatherly. "I do watch over all, little changeling, good and evil alike. But I do not make their choices for them. If I did, I would be no more than a tyrranical puppet master."

He found the nerve to speak, replying, "Uhm... good point, big guy. But... couldn't you... ya know, _cheat_ a little now 'n then?"

He was surprised as the monument gave him a wink. "I do... occasionally. So, here; have your _bonus time_ with Angela. But it must be given it to all equally, Garfield."

"Uhm..." he began, raising a finger with a cringe. "Could we keep that name kinda _quiet_, please, Jay-dude? I don't want everyone to know-"

He nearly jumped out of his suit with a cry as there was a chorus of his name, and after rubbing sleep from his eyes, he gaped in horror as he saw a flood of students coming right for him, all saying it rather loudly. "Wow, look! It's _Garfield!_" "Hey there, _Garfield!_" "How's it goin', _Garfield!_" "Nice of you to visit, _Garfield!_" "You gonna join the school, _Garfield?_" "_Garfield!_" "_Garfield!_" "_Garfield!_" "_Garfield!_" "_Garfield!_" "_Meow!_" "_Garfield!_"

He screamed, jumping to his feet as they began to surround him. "It's my worst nightmare... surrounded by upperclassmen, and _everyone_ knows my name! _Please tell me I'm dreaming!_" Unfortunately, he had been dreaming, but this was all too real.

He gave a brief cry as they crowded in on him, becoming a hummingbird, and flitted off outside of the far end of the fence to relative safety. As he regained his form, panting from the emotional shock, he heard the voice of Angela over the noisy mob, growing louder. "Beast Boy, no, please! _Wait!_" Then abruptly, there came a shrill, almost deafening cry. "_SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!_"

He crept towards the gate, able to see the girl's form through the wrought iron bars as she stared them down, trembling with rage, and watched in awe as the entire schoolyard fell silent before her. "Damn you people... and you call yourselves _Catholics?_ What the _hell is WRONG with you!_ That little green _hero _risked his life for all of _yours_ probably more times than some of you can count to! Instead of being mean, you should be showing him gratitude and respect! He's better than _all_ of you put together... you bunch of damn _MORONS!_" As she ran for the gateway, she sobbed, tears streaming down her face, "And... now he's _gone-!_"

"No, hey! _Angela!_" he called, catching her by the arm as she ran through, and pulled her aside, holding up a handkerchief with a hopeful smile. "I'm right here, babe, just like I promised."

She took it gratefully, wiping her face and blowing her nose, and her eyes gleamed with affection as they settled into his. "You really did, you stayed... I was so afraid that you'd left..."

He took the hanky and stuffed it in a pocket. "Hey, I wouldn't leave you, just because the whole world was makin' fun of me. I faced _way_ worse than that." While he had been in love with her before, he adored her now, admiring her for standing up for him so brazenly. He gave a hot glare to the students through the bars of the fence, but then took her hand with a smile. "Come on, Angela, let's blow this dump and get you home." Still, he didn't intend to arrive at her home _too_ soon...

"Beast Boy..." she began timidly as they made their way through a nearby park, "uhm... ya know, I was thinking of this last night, and all through the school day... of the time you'd be there to walk me home. As it got closer, I felt... uhm... nervous..."

His gaze fell to the grass, and he frowned soberly. "Oh. Well, I guess I do kinda... intimidate people, get carried away with my friends... but hey, I'm just another regular ol' teenage kid, really." He added with a nervous chuckle, "Who can... turn into a T-Rex on demand-"

"Hey, Beast Boy, hold up - don't overreact, okay?" she blurted out, lunging in front of him. "It's not like that now. In fact, I..." She looked aside, but with a smile spreading on her lips. "I just..."

"Want this time together to last all day?" he suggested with a grin. "Wanna stay by my side always?" he added, kneeling down with his head on her chest, oogling up at her and making her giggle as she tried to say something. "Wanna be my girlfriend?" he said before he could stop himself.

"Hey, slow down-!" she laughed, then choked on a syllable, looking stunned for a moment.

He grew afraid, waving his hands frantically. "Oh, hey, forget I said that-!"

She grabbed his gloved hands and pulled them down, her cheeks blossoming pink as she found it difficult to look into his eyes just then. It took a few moments to find her voice, and when she spoke, it was quiet. "Let me think on that one... for a while." She squeezed his hands, then tugged him along. "Let's just... keep walking. Okay?"

His heart was racing still from his potentially disastrous outburst, and he worried about his quick tongue getting him exiled from her all over again. "Maybe... I should just keep quiet and let you talk for a while-"

"No," she said quickly. "It's okay if... you say something kind of weird or scary. I know how you are. And... I wanted to hear your voice again... for a long time." She looked down in front of her, the blossom on her cheeks growing cherry, and her voice tender. His heart began to race for a different reason as her words wove themselves into his being. "I... don't know what it is about you, but... I just... want to be near you, all the time. You're the only person besides my parents that... makes me feel good."

He tried to lace his fingers with hers, but the gloves made it clumsy, and he gave up. He squeezed her hand instead as he murmured, "Angela... it's sad that you feel that way... you know, about how you have troubles, but... I wanna be with you just as bad. And I want to see if I can help you, any way I can. I don't want you to feel like that again, ever."

"This... is a great start," she said, her eyes smiling into his. "And I was wondering... do you need to wear those gloves? It's... not the least bit chilly..."

"Not even," he told her, slipping them off and tucking them in his belt with a grin. As he took her hand again, his fingers laced with hers perfectly. He hoped she couldn't feel his pulse, as his heart was pounding and he could feel the throb of blood in his fingers.

"And hey... one more thing. Is it okay if I call you, uhm... _Garfield?_" she asked timidly, leaning forward briefly to whisper it. "Beast Boy is... well, it's not much of a _name_, and I promise not to say it very loud. Or I could call you Garry or something."

"Hey... Garfield is just fine," he told her, squeezing her hand with a warm smile. "Carry your backpack?"

"N-no, that's okay, I-" she began.

"Carry _you?_" he asked, bouncing his eyebrows at her, and she nearly doubled over laughing at the memory from yesterday.

He blinked in surprise as he found himself smothered in her embrace, his face in her bosom, much like he'd been with Raven earlier, and she blessed his forehead with a kiss. "Oh, Bea - Garfield, I wish it was two years ago... when things weren't so crazy, and I could think straight..."

As he draped his arms around her waist, he murmured dreamily, "I don't suppose we could... stay like this for a few hours?"

She giggled and dragged him behind a bush near a tree, as she felt self-conscious out in the open. "Maybe... for a few minutes, anyway..."

As much as he loved the intimacy of that embrace, it did suggest things to his body, and he didn't want to get carried away with her, especially not in her current emotional state. Besides, he wanted to see that pretty oval of her face, and drew back to gaze at her. "Angie-la - _Angela_..." he stumbled out.

"Angie is okay," she told him with a smile, adding for emphasis, "Garfield."

"Awesome," he murmured, though as he began to retrace what he thought were sweet little nothings to tell her, he noticed an almost haughty look on her face. "Uhm... what?" he asked uncertainly. "Do I have a zit or something?"

"No," she replied with a half grin. "I just noticed that I'm a little taller than you now, by maybe half an inch or so."

"Oh _yeah?_" he leered to her. "Well... sure, you're wearin' heels, that's why."

"No I'm not," she challenged, looking adamant, and was wearing sneakers.

"I wasn't standin' up straight," he declared, drawing himself up as tall as he could.

"Oh yes you were," she shot back, doing the same.

"Oh yeah? What if I do _this?_" He raised up on his toes, leaning forward.

"What, like _this?_" She poised on hers, beginning to stare sharply.

"Yeah!" he growled, arching his back as much as he could, pressing his forehead to hers and glared at her.

"_Oh yeah?_" she snarled, pressing back, her fists clenched.

"_Yeah!_ Don't think you can challenge my awesome _superheightiness!_" he fired back hotly, and they fell into a fierce staring match as they pushed against each other, with lots of growling and clenched teeth. They broke at the same time, falling into each other, howling with laughter as they tumbled to the grass. As their laughter faded, their eyes settled into each other as they lay together. The sight of her lying in the grass, with bits of sunlight peeking through to gleam in her hair, was simply magical. She seemed lovely, even sensuous, and his stomach lurched at the intensity of his love which burned in his heart for her. He wanted to express this somehow, but had no idea how to phrase something so deeply personal and romantic. Fortunately, she saved him from an embarrassing stream of adolescent garbage. "You know..." she said to him, "you're the only person I can remember that I've ever really had fun with."

"Really?" he gushed with a smile. "Wow... that makes me feel... special."

"You are," she told him softly and reached for his hand, sitting up and edging closer to him. "Beast Bo - uhm, _Garfield_... wow, this is gonna take some getting used to. I've only known you as Beast Boy for like... ever."

"I know," he murmured, rising to sit beside her. "I had to practice a _lot_ to keep from sayin' the T-word, and I still do it every once in a while-"

"It's okay if you do," she blurted out, squeezing his hand but looking uncomfortable. "Just... remember that I'm not that awful girl. She was a _monster_."

"Ehh... she wasn't so bad," he told her with a smile. "Sacrificed herself to save the whole region. That's not very monsterie."

"Really?" she asked, looking perplexed, then pushed herself forward sharply, her face in his, clutching his hands. "But Beast Boy, I want you to like _me-!_"

"Hey, I do, _I do_... like you wouldn't believe," he told her assuredly, sitting close enough to touch hips, and caressed her hand in his. "And... man, do I wanna tell you..." Their eyes locked together, sharing secret fears and desires, and understanding each other without words to get in the way. And each knew what the other wanted, their faces drawing near, their eyes closing as their lips parted...

Angela looked up sharply at a sound from the bushes, looking around in fear. Beast Boy hadn't noticed until his lips took in a mouthful of her hair, spitting it out in a fluster. "Wah the _hegh?_" he gasped in surprise, then caught her anxiety. "Angela-?"

"Let's get outta here," she blurted out.

"Wow, deja _vu-!_" he yelped as she jumped up and yanked him along. He had to settle into a quick pace, because she was intent on putting some distance between her and something. "Uhm... squirrel stalkers?" he joked, but his smile faded quickly when she didn't respond right away, and this worried him. The last time she did this, Slade made a most unwelcome and violent appearance.

Raven peeked behind the tree where the couple had been a moment before, her eyes narrowing as she watched them run off. "She can sense me... something of the old Terra is still there, all right. I have to know if it has any intentions towards us, and especially for Beast Boy."

Angela didn't stop until she reached civilization again, the busier sidewalks and streets of Jump City's outskirts. She had to catch her breath, leaning against the side of a shop, panting, though he was sure it was mostly from emotional stress. He was less winded but still took a moment to recover, using it to look the area over intently, sharpening his senses as best he could. But there was no hint of danger, just curious stares from the surrounding onlookers. He put his hand on her shoulder, wincing as she jumped. "Hey, easy... easy, Angela... you know that nothin' can happen to you as long as I'm around."

She gave him a grateful smile, wishing that they could be alone again, but then worried about that eerie feeling returning; a sense of being watched by something dreadful. At least being out in the open like this, with other people around them, she didn't feel quite as vulnerable, and she clung to the teenager's words like a lifeline. "Yeah... you're right. I... don't know what happened back there. I felt something... spooky. I can't explain it. But I feel better now." She nodded down the sidewalk and took his hand, doing her best to feel at ease. "Come on, let's go."

"Sounds like a good idea..." His voice trailed off as he spied something he knew would charm her like magic. "Hey... how about some _ice cream?_" he asked leadingly.

"Oh, _I'd love some-!_" she exclaimed, but then withered almost as quickly. She had very little money, and knew that he was almost as penniless. And she didn't want to take the last of his spare change, especially if he spent it all on her. "Uhm... I'm afraid I don't have any-"

"Hey, this is a _treat_," he informed her, drawing out his wallet. "And besides, I has _monies_..."

She felt torn in half, as she had a weakness for sweets as many girls did, but felt quite uncomfortable having someone spend anything on her for some reason, and him in particular. Her perplexion showed as she pushed his offered wallet down. "Ohh... no. Besides, I have supper to go home to, and I want to watch my figure." She blushed bright red at the admission, especially at the thought of who she was watching it for.

"Huh? Since when?" he asked in surprise. "You burn off calories like crazy-" He choked himself down before he let any more slip out, as he forgot once again that she had no memory of her prior life with him.

"Like _who? Terra?_" she growled accusingly. "I told you to _never talk about that damn bit-!_" She clammed up and buried her face in her hands, crushed from humiliation and fear that she had hurt his feelings, and her heart wilted at the look of anguish on his face. She grabbed his hands, close to tears as she poured forth in appology, "Beast Boy... please, I don't know why I said... _I-I'm sorry - I didn't mean to-!_"

"Hey, hey... it's okay," he told her as soothingly as he could. "I'm the one who should be sorry... I shouldn'ta said that. I told ya I want to make you happy, but... seems like I keep messin' that up, don't I?"

Her grip became almost desperate, her voice pleading. "No! No... you're the sweetest... and I know you're trying so hard... _and I keep doing stupid things like this_..." She drew a shaky breath, trying like mad not to cry, and forced up a bittersweet smile. "Just... be patient with me, _please?_ I want... so _bad to-_" She choked back what she really wanted to say, as it was embarrassing enough in private to speak her heart, so instead, she fought to calmed herself down and told him, "You know what I want right now? Ice cream."

"Really?" he almost shouted in joy and relief. "Uhm... I mean, sure, but don't let me talk you into somethin'... we can do whatever you want-"

"Beast Boy," she smirked, "the only time I don't want ice cream is when I'm deathly sick." She began heading towards the shop, tugging on his hand. "Come on!"

"Wow, you change your mind even quicker than I do, but... _who cares!_" he laughed.

A short time later, they were eating on their way home. Angela insisted on "not so much" ice cream, but he saw how her eyes grew bigger with each scoop of his, and called it at a bowlful of four for hers, each one a different flavor. "Uhm... thanks, Bea - I mean, _Garfield_. Jeepers, this is gonna take some work..."

"Sweetheart, you can call me anything you want," he said to her with a smile, blushing at his endearment, said without thinking, though her cheeks were an even deeper rose.

She looked to him with furtive glances, her eyes shining with affection, as she ached to spill her heart out to him. They had passed beyond the bounds of the city into a secluded forest, so they had all the solitude they could want. But still, she felt painfully shy, not the least of which was from worry over what he would think of her, if he knew everything. But... someday, if he remained with her, she would draw that curtain back. She looked up to the blue sky flecked with puffs of cumulus, as if a message from heaven about their destiny would appear for them from behind one. Drawing on a morsel stuck to her spoon, she murmured dreamily, "Someday..."

He looked to her inquisitively. "What?"

"Ohhh..." she drew out, wondering how frank to be with the shapeshifter, and decided to remain coy for now. "You'll see... but, right now, I want to talk... to hear your voice."

His cheeks grew redder at that, and his tone quiet. "Uhm... what do ya wanna talk about?"

She wilted a bit, as she realized that both of them were still too young, too clumsy with matters of the heart just yet to be truly romantic, at least she was; _someday_ it would have to be. But she knew that there was something she needed to do, to try, as she hated her mood-wrecking mental spasms and outbursts. She doubted he would like the shift of mood, but she had to air herself out sometime. "Bea - _Garfield, damn it_," she growled to herself, "uhm... I don't suppose you would mind very much playing... confessor, would you? For a while?"

He deflated inside, as he wanted to discuss more personal matters between them, even though nearly every attempt seemed to end in smoking ruin. But what mattered most was being the boy she wanted to stay close to, so he looked to her with that snaggletoothed grin she was fond of. "Oh... sure, especially if it'll help you feel better."

"Well, I learned in a show about psychology that just talking things out with friends is as therapeutic as a five-hundred-an-hour session with a shrink, so here goes..." As she wondered where to begin, she was aghast to think of how much she had become a head case over the past few months, and prayed that she wouldn't drive her beloved changeling away because of it. She needed something innocuous but thought provoking to start with, and looked up to the sky again for insight. "Like... does this world make any sense to you?"

His eyes bugged out as they cast to the ground, as this was hardly what he was expecting, and felt almost like he was being grilled by Robin after doing something wrong. The last thing he wanted was to sound simpleminded to his girlfriend. "Oooh... philosophy 'n stuff... gee. Well... depends on what you mean, exactly," he replied. "I've been watchin' a bunch'a science shows with Cyborg 'n Raven, even though I'm not... you know, a brain trust or anything. But still... the universe, there's a lot I don't get yet, but... it's amazing. The way it works, all the stuff that's goin' on... it's hard to absorb much of it at a time, but I can't get enough of it. But people... now _that's_ a subject I think we agree on. I don't get people hardly at _all_."

"_Tell_ me about it..." she began, as this was roughly where she wanted to take the discussion. "Okay, so... what about... do you feel at home here? On this world?"

He blinked at her in surprise, growing nervous, as this _could_ have the tone of something as bad as psychopathy, and he worried over how to navigate such a potentially disastrous conversation. He began hesitantly, "Uhh... well, you know that I'm... like, way different from normal people. I ended up like this 'cause I got some really rare disease from a monkey bite when I was just a kid, in Africa, and my parents used some kinda experimental serum to cure me. I guess I was a lot more different than anyone thought, because... it ended up makin' me like this; green skin, pointy elf ears 'n all. That was... kinda hard to deal with for a while."

She edged close to him, leaning against him. He stopped, invitingly, and she slipped her arm around him as she ached with sympathy for the boy. She could imagine the torment from other kids as he grew up, something like what he suffered just a while ago from her schoolmates. And strangely, felt that she had something like this in common with him in her own forgotten past. He caught the look of pain and regret in her eyes, and could foresee an unhappy turn to the conversation, saying quickly before she could utter a word, "But hey... I got the coolest side effect ever, 'cause I can turn into any animal I want."

She looked to him curiously as he set his bowl down in the grass, then giggled with delight as she found a rather familiar green kitten rubbing against her legs in his place. She sat down, placing her bowl beside his, and dropped her backpack so she could gather the furry changeling in her arms. As he licked and rubbed his head against her cheek, serenading her with a purr, she chuckled happily, "Beast Boy, you make a totally adorable kitten. Except for that green color... that's just not right." She held him out, regarding him with a smirk, but relented when he gazed back with the saddest look she had ever seen in a feline. "Ohh... maybe there is room in this world for one _very special_ green cat..."

She giggled as he seemed to smile to her, and she couldn't resist cuddling him close once more, thinking of how astronomically lucky it was that she had managed to live in the same brief time in history as this unique being. And more, that they would find each other, and he would think it worth sharing his affection with such an odd looking, emotional, unstable girl. As she cradled the changeling in her arms, a forlorn loneliness welled up in her heart for the green-skinned boy. He looked up in surprise as she set him down, and wondered at the look she gave him. "Change back... please," she urged him softly.

It was amazing to watch, his transformation as he resumed his humanoid form, and she tried to capture it all with her artists eye, remember it, this magical ability he had, even to his clothes reappearing just as they should. She felt sorry for the concern for her she caused, clear in his gaze and his voice as he asked, "Uhm... somethin' the matter-?"

"No! No... it's just that..." she began a bit abruptly, then placed her hand over his, giving it a squeeze. "I wanted to be with you... the real you." He trembled as she leaned into him, the soft curves of her torso pressing into his. "Your parents must be very proud of you... explorers, doctors... missionaries in Africa?"

His stomach lurched at the unexpected inquiry. He grinned to her sheepishly, unable to gracefully deflect her question, and she felt cold as the light in his eyes faded, and his voice became faint, tight, painful to hear. "Uhm... yeah, they _would_ be, but they... _kinda_..." He faced away from her, gazing into the sky, his jaw clenching as he fought down some long buried grief.

She stared into the ground, her stomach so twisted, she thought she might throw up. It was much worse than feeling mortified, the pain that lanced all through her. Once again, she had opened her mouth thoughtlessly to say the worst thing in the world to the boy she cared for more than anything, and hurt him deeply. She had to get away from him, as far away as possible. As her eyes welled up with tears and jumped to her feet to escape, she nearly fell over as he grabbed her hand. She couldn't believe it, that he would want to be anywhere near her, and gaped at him in shock as he held on tight, his eyes gazing into hers pleadingly, filled with longing. "Please... don't..." he whimpered, all he could get out before she fell into him with a stranglehold around his neck. She dampened his cheek with tears as she sobbed out pleas for forgiveness, feeling dumb and selfish as she clung to him. He whispered to her in simple words as soothing as he could come up with in the moment, hugging her back just as tightly, just as selfishly, but with tangible warmth.

It took a while, but in time, her weeping faded, her grip easing as she sniffed down some flegm, whimpering, "Oh Beast Boy... I'm sorry, _I didn't know_... ohh, I should just shut up before I say something else stupid-!"

"Hey... it's okay. It's not somethin' most people know... so how could you? It's not your fault," he mumbled a bit quietly as he collected himself, brushing his fingers over her back lightly. He felt strangely relieved for this moment of angst, as he could enjoy the delicious warmth of her soft curves against him without lurid sensuous thoughts intruding. "It happened a long time ago... a lifetime ago for me. I still miss 'em, ya know... especially on birthdays 'n Christmas 'n stuff, they were my mom 'n dad after all, but... I'm mostly okay with it now." He told her in a slightly happier tone of voice as he drew away to gaze at her, "So, anyhow... we got somethin' in common; we're both adopted." That stung in her heart all over again, but she knew that he was trying his best to diffuse the moment, and nodded in reply.

They sat there quietly for some time as Angela calmed down, their breathing and heartbeats slowing, settling into a harmonious rhythm, and gradually, she felt comfortable in his embrace again. It still amazed her how much he wanted to be with her, just to share company. He didn't want sex, didn't want to take advantage of her at all. He genuinely cared for her, and her feelings, wanted to help in any way he could. She felt guilty for wanting to claim someone so kind, gentle, genuinely good, but she couldn't bear to let go of a boy that special, even if he didn't deserve such a troublesome girl. As she rested her chin on his shoulder, she felt brave enough to ask gently, "Would you... tell me about your adoptive parents?"

"That's right... I didn't finish answerin' you, did I?" he replied with a thin smile. "My life was a crazy rollercoaster after that, and I wound up with this weird bunch of heroes called the Doom Patrol, and with a name like that... well, you can tell they weren't the most cheerful guys around. Two of 'em, Steve 'n Rita Dayton, they adopted me. And they were good to me and all, but... ya know, come to think of it, they were a lot like your mom 'n dad. He was all bossy and strict and by-the-book and _egh_," he emphasized with a gruff face, "like a drill sergeant. Bein' the leader 'n all, that makes sense. And she was pretty nice, but she mostly bowed to him. The other two, Cliff and Larry, were kinda like uncles, but it was a really... strange life with them, kinda like always bein' in the Army."

"I'm sorry..." she murmured, a mope in her voice as she caressed him.

"Hey, it wasn't all bad. I did need some discipline, and they toughened me up a lot - which I really needed even more, since bein' a superhero is a seriously rough job. And for years and years and _years_, we chased after this group of supervillains called the Brotherhood of Evil. They were really bad news, always gave us a hard time, nearly killed us a buncha times-" He paused as she clutched him tightly at that, bringing a smile to his face, and he stroked her arm comfortingly. "Hey, we always got away, obviously, but so did they, again and again, no matter how hard we tried to defeat 'em. It drove us all nuts, especially Steve, and we didn't beat 'em until they finally hooked up with the Teen Titans... two years ago. About the time I first saw you, matter of fact."

"Oh... really? So, is that when you joined the Titans?" Then she winced at her own forgetfulness, grumbling, "Oh, no... wait-"

"Yeah, it was a few years before that," he interrupted, in case she was going to say something self-deprecating. "No, I finally had it with bein' kicked around by Steve when I didn't measure up, and left almost six years ago. And... those were some pretty lonely days, I gotta admit, as I wandered all over, tryin' to find some sorta life for myself..."

"I'm sorry," she murmured again, caressing herself against him, and for a moment, it was hard to keep his mind on his story. "I wish I had known you back then..."

"You..." he began, managing to catch himself before he mentioned anything about her other life as Terra, then something occurred to him with a laugh. "You had to be like... nine or ten years old back then! Right? Your parents would'a chased me off with rocks!"

"Hey, I would've run after you! No one could keep me away from a cute kid with green skin and elf ears, especially one who could turn into any animal I wanted," she giggled, brushing her cheek against his. "And I'd make sure I was in every one of your classes."

"That would'a... sure been nice..." he breathed out, as the touch of her form against his side became intoxicating. As much as he enjoyed it, he wanted to see her face clearly, not sneak glances over his shoulder at her, and squirmed around to face her, draping his arms around her in return. "There... that's better. Anyhow, I'm _finally_ up to the point I can answer your question."

"My question-? _Oh!_ Right," she murmured, settling more against him, practically in his lap, her fingers stroking lightly over his shoulder. "Sorry, I'm... kinda distracted..."

"_You're_ distracted?" he began in a husky voice, then realized how he sounded, and how he must look. "Uhm, yeah! Right. So... anyway, like, I made my way to Jump City, because I heard that the Special Police were havin' a hard time with supercrooks. The only problem was that I had no police radio, so most o' the time, crimes were wrapped up before I could get anywhere near 'em. I ended up bustin' purse snatchers hitt'n' up little old ladies, or guys thinkin' they could rob _me!_ Like I had any money..." His voice drifted off as his eyes lingered in hers for a moment, captivated by their gleam, and what was inspiring it. "Uhm... anyway, it was about five years ago that... Starfire showed up, a prisoner of some lizard guys called... Gorgioids or somethin'. And she busted out 'n started tearin' up the town. I can't remember why... guess she was confused, but anyway, we all showed up out of... the nooks 'n crannies to... try 'n help stop 'er... she kissed Robin, and..."

His voice trailed off as he fell ever more under the spell of her gaze, and thought of how sweet it would be to steal a kiss of his own from this cute girl in his arms. She was in the same state, her heart beginning to race as she wondered what his green lips tasted like. "Uhm... yeah?" she whispered, edging closer, her arms caressing the more around him, her hands seemingly bathed in warm, gentle fire.

It was extremely hard to focus on anything other than her at the moment, as lurid fantasies danced in his heart like leaves scattered in winds of desire. "Uhm..." he began falteringly, "I finally felt like... I was home, like... never before." He pressed into her, adding faintly, "Except for right now..."

"_Really?_" she breathed out in a husk, the tone making him shiver as she rested her head against his. Her eyes closed as her lips slowly parted, her mouth near enough to taste the ice cream flavoring her breath. And then she murmured with a little smile, "You tickle... I didn't know it felt like this, when... _wait a minute_." She looked down, then jumped out of his arms with a loud yelp of astonishment.

He looked around in confusion, wondering what had startled her, when he saw what she was swatting from her legs. And what were crawling all over his. "GLAK! _Ants?_ Why you _LITTLE-!_"

She looked up as she caught his transformation, then fell over laughing as he had become a squirrel, rolling all over the ground and chittering angrily as he struggled to comb the insect pests from his fur. She wailed even harder as he barked at her in irritation, then curled up again and spun around angrily as he fought to be rid of them.

They left their ice cream to the ants, which they had little choice in the matter. Besides, they had eaten most of it anyway.

It was hard to recapture the spark of romance, to steer her emotions to where they were earlier, when she could feel passions radiating between them like the pull of magnets. Both of them felt too embarrassed as they tried half heartedly to rekindle the fire, each in their own fumbling way, and reluctantly gave up. Angela had no desire to discuss herself just then, and so Beast Boy had to endure a series of rants as, frustrated at herself for not being able to behave like any other normal girl in love, she took it out on the universe in general. He suffered through it all, hoping that it was as therapeutic as she had said, though half the time, he had only the foggiest notion of what she was talking about.

Eventually, she wound her way to two of her pet peeves, the Catholic Church and the scientific community, the collisions of which she had to deal with daily. Beast Boy readied himself to get completely lost, but not show it. Somehow.

"...Like, there's this whole _Mary-ometry_ thing, as I call it, this adoration of Miriam like she's some kind of a goddess because had to be sinless in order to give birth to the Son of God. That's a nice thought and all, but she didn't plop down to Earth from Heaven. She had a mom too, so why didn't _she_ have to be sinless? And _her_ mom? And they keep carrying on with this whole _infallibility of the Pope_ thing, that because they're spiritual heirs of the apostle Peter, so they say, that they're God's representative on Earth and are _never_ wrong. But there were times they clearly had _no_ idea what they were talking about, like declaring that the Earth was the center of the universe. But rather than manning up and admitting the truth, they just carry on with their silly traditions and sweep all these issues under the rug, like they _never even happened!_ It bugs the heck out of me, especially with some of the snobs and teachers at _Fortress Boscoe_. Mom _would_ have to be a Catholic..."

"Wow..." Beast Boy murmured, trying to sound thoughtful and doing his best to mentally keep pace. "Uhm... I'm not really up on religion or any of that stuff, but that _is_ pretty whacked. They should just have another Trent, or whatever you called it, and 'fess up."

She nodded to him with a smirk. "You'd think, but it seems like the simple stuff we mere mortals come up with aren't brilliant enough for the almighty Lords of Truth. But what really blows is that science isn't any better! It's like the Catholic Church all over again. There are _so_ many issues. Like... the whole origin of the universe thing is just classic refusal to be consistent with established science. The Big Bang probably happened, but there's no way that all that hydrogen gas rushing away from itself to fill the universe would do anything but... fill the universe! But they insist that magically, it started collapsing in on itself to form stars and galaxies, for no reason at all. Well... _no_, sorry, that's not _science_, that's a belief, just like any religion. And they have the nerve to call devout people stupid for believing in _fairy tales!_ How is that any different? Even this superbrain, Jacob Barnett, called them out on it at just twelve years old! He's still giving them fits over their theories."

Beast Boy's eyes bugged out, though not from the contradiction she was painting for him. "_Twelve?_ When I was twelve, I still didn't know how to hook up a game console! Well... okay, I still don't."

She had to laugh, bumping arms with him. "He became a research physicist at thirteen, and came up with _two or three_ different theories of the origin of the universe. He has so many because the scientific community doesn't have advanced enough instruments to give him the data he needs."

He felt dizzy at the thought of someone so intelligent, though he finally recognized the name. "Oh... yeah, I know who he is now... good _grief_, he's smart. But... can we get off the super-genius so I don't feel as dumb as a rock?" He wished desperately to change the subject, but was more concerned with letting her blow off her steam.

"Hey, I'm not that much smarter than you in comparison," she giggled. "But listen, it goes on and on; there's the whole problem with the origin of life mess. Supposedly, some kind of primordial goop covered the Earth about four billion years ago, got zapped with energy, and started turning into algae, amphibians, cats and scientists all on its own. But there's no _way_ we could have evolved from primordial goo. Any kid knows that if you drop a knife in the woods, it rusts away. Everything breaks down, and throwing in _billions of years_ doesn't change that fact. Even stuff we try and preserve in deep freeze deteriorates away for several different reasons. For that matter, your own body is constantly rotting away from the inside, and always has."

"No kidding?" he asked in amazement, gazing at his hand. "So... why am I not a zombie or something?"

"Because your body is full of little molecular machines, enzymes and things, who's job it is to rebuild everything and recycle or toss out the damaged stuff and waste. And the only reason they _know_ how to do this is because that information is built in to their molecules themselves. And that information had to come from _somewhere_. It can't just _exist_. And... the whole fossil record is out of whack in different parts of the globe. There are _no_ missing links... we don't have bones of T-Rex's grandad or grandkids... nothing changing into something else, and if evolution is a _fact_, then it should still be going on. Bugs like your basic fruit fly reproduce like crazy, and you have the equivalent of millions of years of evolutionary time for animals squeezed into centuries for them. But you have the same fruit flies through all this time, and east coast, west coast... even though they're isolated from each other by thousands of miles, and should have their own gene pools - their own characteristics, looks and stuff, they're _the same fruit flies _as always. And dating methods are all frooked up... like carbon dating tissue samples from live frogs and trees coming up as tens of thousands of years old. I was hoping that when I went to a freaking _Catholic school_ that I'd learn some of the secrets of the universe, not be indoctrinated into materialistic humanism. Sometimes, I feel totally ripped off!"

Even though he was doing his best to mentally tread water in a deep sea of scientific mumbo jumbo, and had completely missed the wonder of the universe she was trying to express, if caustically, he had developed enough sense to grasp basic subjects, as well as certain implications. "But... Angela, what you're saying is... well, what are you saying? That... they don't have a _clue?_"

"Yes!" she shouted in triumph at the boy's revelation. "Well... maybe, anyhow. See, what they're doing is guessing, but they'll be damned if they'll admit it. I mean... they spent their whole lives, not to mention trillions of dollars, fabricating this whole world of information they insist is _factual_. Like... I swear, if I hear someone quote Carl Sagan saying, 'Evolution is a fact. _It really happened_,' I think I'll harf on them."

He stood there, blinking in thought for a moment, as what Angela was ranting about ran counter to what he assumed to be true as he watched numerous shows on the science channels with the others. All those scientists with their crazy, hard to fathom vocabulary, all seemed utterly brilliant and authoritative and knew what they were talking about, and all agreed with each other. At least for the most part. But what the girl was relating when boiled down was basic, fairly easy to grasp, and shockingly damning. "But... Angela, if what you're telling me is true, then... it's like... some kind of racket."

"_Exactly!_" she cried with a startlingly fiendish grin.

He didn't quite feel like he'd had the rug yanked out from under him, but he was beginning to wonder, uncomfortably. Still, it sounded much too incredible to believe, that the whole scientific community was playing out some sort of sham on the world. "Angela... I don't wanna sound like I don't believe you or anything, but... I don't get it. Why would they do that... what's the _point?_"

"Two reasons... well, three," she said back, as if she knew just what he was going to say. "Money, because the world runs on money, and they do get to play with a _lot_ of it. Prestige, because everyone likes to be well regarded, and _especially_ if you're a Lord of Truth. And because it's their religion."

He squeezed his eyes shut, as he was afraid they were going to spin in circles, and waved his hands. "Wai-wai-wait... their _religion?_ Don't they have some sorta separation of Church and... how does that go?"

"Oh, don't get me started on that crap too - I hate political correctness," she spat out. "Anyway, what I mean is, science is their whole philosophy for everything - their world view, who they are inside... just like a religion. And they defend it just as hard as the Catholic Church does their infallible Popes. Just as dogmatic and just as infallible, even though they rewrite the _Great Book of Science_ every couple of decades or so. If you _dare_ question some pet theory of the Lords of Truth like evolution, they get all bent out of shape, you get labelled a heretic, are outcast, and your scientific career is just about over. Unless you confess your sins and come back to the politically correct fold. The hypocrisy of this bunch stinks to high heaven."

He still wasn't sure quite what to make of this, but she had planted enough seeds of doubt that he felt unsettled over the whole matter. And that made him worry over her future. "Uhm... hey, didn't you say that you wanted to be a... rock scientist? Like, what's gonna happen to you if you _rock_ their world?"

She giggled at his pun, and still smiling, declared, "I don't know and I don't care. I'm going to study the Earth and let the chips fall. If I make a discovery, I'm not gonna make it fit their preconceived notions. And if they don't like it, they can darn well not like it."

"But... isn't that gonna make for a kinda... lonely life in the science world?" He looked to her in concern, as he hated to think of her ending up another bitter outcast.

"It won't matter-" she began, cutting herself short before she said, _as long as you're there with me_, and hurried along. "I'll be able to hang out with the cool scientists who are in search of truth, _real_ truth, even if it ruffles someone's feathers."

He wasn't quite sure what to make of the girl, at only her mid-teens and already set to take on the entire universe. But then, Terra had always been brash and stubborn, never backed down from a challenge and was always ready to try anything, regardless of what others said, which was part of the reason he loved her so. But this begged a question, and so he asked, "So, how many of these cool guys are there?"

"Well, a lot, actually, especially since the last third of the twentieth century. See, prior to you superheroes coming along, subjects like UFOs, aliens, ghosts and magic were strictly kook subjects no one wanted to touch with a ten foot slide rule, for fear of being outcast heretics. But along come people like Superman and... your _girlfriend Raven..._" she muttered dourly, giving him a dim look.

"Uhm... we're just friends, ya know," he said meekly, giving her a hopeful grin.

"Yeah... I _suppose_," she murmured with a smirk, but decided not to press him about the matter. "Anyway, with all that and blatant visits and invasions from aliens over the years, the scientific community couldn't ignore things which challenged their tidy little world anymore, and had to open their minds up to all kinds of possibilities they thought were on the level of simple-minded superstition. And yeah, when this revolution was just getting started, a lot of scientists were thrown out on their rear ends. Some grew bitter and became _mad_ scientists and supercriminals, which... hey, I can't blame them much, really. But the world of science couldn't ignore the obvious anymore when it slapped them in the face just about every day, and they eventually had to come around. So these days, there's a pretty big thriving community of free thinkers. Which... yeah, some of them are a little _too_ free, but that's where the fun really is, and where we seem to be finding a lot of the truth we've been wanting to know for thousands of years. And this is how things should be."

She looked to the sky as if in admiration. "Jacob Barnett is a hero of mine. Jake, Martin Luther, Fleischmann and Pons - the guys who first stumbled onto cold fusion, and a whole slew of free thinkers dared to challenge the conventional wisdom and shake things up. See, both the Catholic Church and the scientific community are wrong in some pretty big ways, but they refuse to admit it. And this is what kills me about scientists, is that even with the big shake-up of their precious world in the last century, they're _still_ slow to accept a lot of things. Like... especially this great divide between science and religion. As much as I gripe about the Catholic Church... when I attend service with mom 'n dad, and that pipe organ plays and the choir sings, I can feel something grand and awesome that's just beyond my senses, but is just as real as you and me. And sometimes, during certain sermons, it seems that I'm hearing some incredible truth that came from somewhere outside of our universe.

"And science throws up on you if you even _look_ in the direction of religion, unless it's some meaningless new age drivel. But even though scientists act like they have all the answers, they can't explain why we have a conscience that has an almost universal set of rights and wrongs, or why we love music, or... each other." She looked aside with a blush, and it took a few moments to find her voice.

He didn't give her a chance to speak further, grabbing her hand and blurting out excitedly, "Teach-!" Then he froze, open mouthed and gaping in perplexion as his mind spun donuts within itself. "Me... _boy am I slow sometimes_," he murmured at last, mentally kicking himself for trampling all over her words of tender devotion.

She blinked at him in bewilderment, looking to her hand in his. "Uhm... _what?_"

"Yeah, what... uhm..." he mumbled in consternation. He hated this predicament, not knowing what to say, how forward to be when he didn't know how she would react to his advances. He wanted to be straightforward - in fact, blunt with her, but he worried over the consequences. She had already been through an emotional blender on frappe. Before he could think, he whispered audibly, "I hate bein' afraid..."

"Of what?" she asked quietly, then chuckled, "Afraid of _me?_ Come on."

"I'm afraid I might hurt you again," he confessed, looking anxious. "That... you might get tired of me sayin' stupid things that upset you, and leave me again-"

"I'd never do that!" she exclaimed, grasping his own hands tightly, as if to keep him from fleeing. "I'm the one who's afraid!"

"I know, and... that really hurts me, 'cause I wanna make things different... make things all right for you," he told her softly. "'Cause... you're the most special girl in the world to me."

"I still don't know why you say that," she muttered, looking aside doubtfully. "All I do is cause trouble-"

"I don't care! You're the kind'a trouble I want," he professed, curling his fingers over hers and squeezing them lightly. "Uhm... that didn't come out quite right, but... you gotta know what I mean. Don'cha?"

As he gazed intently, hopefully, into her golden orbs, she began to quiver, edging closer. Her lips parted, but her mind was in a turmoil, her words tumbling like dice in confusion. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting for one clear, lucid moment, but wound up in a pit of desperation. Gripping his hands tight, she blurted out, shockingly, "Beast Boy, I want you to promise me that if I disappear, you'll come looking for me, and never stop till you find me."

This scared the lad, as she had already vanished more than once, and one time which could have been permanent. And in the first one, she had fallen into the hands of Slade. "_Huh?_ Why're you even talkin' like that-?"

"Promise!" she insisted, her grip becoming almost painful, her voice wild and despairing. "You gotta _promise me-!_"

"Okay, _okay!_" he interrupted, doing his best to calm her down. "I promise. But... to be honest, you don't gotta worry because... I already made that promise two years ago." He finished with a lopsided smile.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she tried to speak, but she stammered, her voice breaking. Even as he began to nod, she threw her arms around him in a fierce hug and the tears began to run down her cheeks onto his once more. He held her in his embrace, stroking her back lightly as her fit of anguish wore itself out, her sobbing abated and her quaking stopped. He drew back just enough to see her face, stroking the tears from her cheeks. She began to thank him, then blubbered through a chuckle, "W-what're you crying for?"

He hadn't noticed, wiping his sleeve across his face. "Uh... I guess 'cause you are," he sniffed, returning her melancholy smile.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, leaning into him for support, making a juicy snuffle. "I don't know why I'm so upset all of a sudden... I'm such a stupid mess..."

He grew serious, caressing her cheek. "Angel, listen... it doesn't matter to me, not one bit. And don't worry. I'll be here for you, always 'n forever. Everything's gonna be all right. You'll see."

She wished with all her heart for his words to come true, and ached to hear just one simple confirmation of that, even if it was only make-believe. "Promise," she murmured, her eyes gleaming into his hopefully.

"With all my heart," he replied, caressing her against his slender form, and as he held her, her fears dwindled as her heart pounded, seeking to find the rhythm with his.

Her mouth opened to speak, but again the words wouldn't form, lost in a sea of passions that overwhelmed her young, tender heart. But she knew another way to convey them, a better way, something they both wanted. 'Someday... I want it to be someday, right now,' she wished to herself, her eyes closing as her face drifted near to him, her lips seeking his. His own heart began to race, his fingers digging into her back as he whispered her name in her mouth...

And then she choked back a scream, gaping in horror as a flock of crows erupted from the bushes beside the road, cawing angrily. She flung her arms up as one flew right at her face, practically shrieking at her. She did scream then, turning and bolting across the road, heedless of traffic, and an unfortunate driver had to slam on their brakes as she ran blindly in front of them, as did another car following. Beast Boy's heart nearly failed him, but the car stopped well short of her.

"Angela!" he cried, beginning to chase after her, but an angry honk from the driver warned him back as the pair of vehicles went on their way. He watched, heartbroken, as she sprinted down the road as if running for her life. "Why... what made you so scared! Stupid crows-!" His voice choked off as he caught sight of a telltale wisp of blackness among the shrubbery which was unmistakable. Swallowing a curse, he began to follow the frightened girl, but stopped before he took two steps when he saw where he was. It was the last stretch of road leading to the neighborhood where Angela lived, and her watchful parents, where they agreed he should part company just in case. Shoving his hands in his gloves, and clenching his fists in outrage at the catastrophe, he snarled, "Raven... damn you... _you are so gonna regret this!_"

She didn't stop running until she fell to the grass beside her front steps, gasping for breath as she gaped behind her, up in the hills where the sinister presence lurked. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she quivered in fear, scrambling into the bushes beside the steps as she clutched her legs to her chest. She screamed as some monster pushed them roughly aside to get to her and swung her fists blindly, as she couldn't bear to face her attacker. She wished with all her heart for the green changeling to come save her, and cried his name. But as her wrists were seized in strong hands, a voice finally reached through the blur of terror, and she fell into her mother's arms, clinging to her tight as she blubbered incoherently.

"Angela... darlingk? _Rebyenok?_ Vwat is _wrong?_" she asked, stroking her daughter's face, beside herself with worry. The girl had been looking up the road toward the hills, but whatever had terrified her was long gone now. "Please, calm down!" she told Angela firmly, hoping a dose of authority would reach her, but the girl was too rattled. She couldn't carry her with the backpack on, and so tried to urge her to her feet. "Come... please, sveetheart, let's get you inside. It vill be all right..."

They were unaware of an observer in the bushes of a low bluff overlooking the neighborhood, eying them through a scope as the woman walked her stricken daughter to the front door of their home. "Well... what a coincidence," he murmured in a smooth, cultured voice. "I should arrange a reunion with you soon, old friend." Storing the scope in a pouch as they disappeared inside, he jumped his way down the rocky precipice and dove into the bay, leaving hardly a ripple in the water.

"Vwat was it... vwat troubled you so badly?" Katya asked as she guided her unsteady daughter to her room.

"I... don't know," Angela replied weakly, though she knew roughly what the source of the dreadful, otherworldly presence was. Her mother flinched back in surprise as she whirled on her, grabbing her arms in shaking hands. "Mama, don't tell dad, _please!_" she exclaimed. "I-it was just a panic attack or something-!"

"All right, _all right_, leettle one..." she said to the frightened girl in soothing tones, crouching down to stroke her cheek softly. "Do not vorry, you are parfectly safe here. There are no monstors, and it is a bright sonny day. But... do you vish for me to stay vith you for a while?"

She snuffled, and almost took her up on the offer, but realized she wanted some privacy. "N-no... you're right. I'll be okay." Just as her mother began to rise, she threw herself on the startled woman and grabbed her in a fierce embrace, sobbing, "Oh, mama... _I love you_... you 'n dad, so much... I just wish... things would get back to _normal_..."

"I know, babie, I know... you and me both," she sighed, drumming her fingers on her daughter's back softly, then drew away from her, brushing her tears from her cheeks. "Leesten, I have to tend to sopper, but the kitchen is only five meters avay. You may do as you vish, buuut... perhaps for a while, you should stay avay from your father's crazy music."

"Yeah... that's prob'ly a good idea," Angela murmured, gazing at her mother forlornly as she rose, running her fingers through the girl's silken hair.

"I love you too, krut'ya... do not vorry," she murmured, her fingers dancing lightly over the girl's shoulder as she drew away and headed for the kitchen. "Still..." she said under her breath, "perhaps I should sqveeze in a thirty minute vorkout, jost in case."

Angela closed the door and grabbed her laptop from the dresser. She jumped away from the window in alarm as the dark shape of a bird flew past, and dropped the blinds shut, quaking with fear. When she stopped shivering, she plugged the laptop in and squirmed on the bed as she waited impatiently for it to boot; even though it only took a few seconds, it seemed to be crawling out of spite. She then launched a chat program and opened her email, sending Beast Boy a link to its download, whispering through clenched teeth, "Please... _please_ be back home now... I need to talk to you _so bad_..."

* * *

><p>He hadn't calmed down a bit on the way back, having transformed into a peregrine falcon, the fastest avian on Earth, so very little time had passed. He wasn't sure just what he was going to say or do with Raven, but he was determined to teach her a lesson she would never, ever forget. As he made it to the entrance to Main Ops, the doors parted too slowly to suit him, and he kicked one aside, then the other, yelling, "<em>WHERE'S-!<em>"

That was as far as he got, as a shaft of darkness enveloped him, then both vanished into the floor. Robin and Cyborg, the only two there, gaped at the sight in bewilderment. "Uhhh..." began the cybernaut, pointing uncertainly, "think maybe we should..."

"Eavesdrop?" Robin finished with a sigh. "Why not? Everyone else has. Let's go."

"Well, I meant _save his scrawny green rear end_," Cyborg explained, keeping pace, "but eavesdropping works."

"_Hey!_" the changeling cried as he reappeared, taking a moment to get his bearings, and found himself in his room.

Raven gasped in disdain as she threw off a pile of laundry she had arisen beneath, drawing her hood back, and winced as she tossed a pair of unsavory underwear from her head. "Augh... don't you _ever_ clean your room-?"

"_SHUT UP!_" he exclaimed, his pupils dilating round and large. She backed away wide-eyed, having only seen him so angry when the other's lives were threatened. "What the _HELL were you doing, spying on me!_"

"Beast Boy, listen-" she began, growing afraid as he approached her with fists doubled, looking as if he had every intention of attacking.

"No, _YOU_ listen!" he yelled. "_I'm not in the mood to TALK-!_" His rage boiled over, throwing him across an emotional cliff he hadn't breached for years, not since an accident involving unusual chemicals, and he squeezed his eyes shut with a disturbing groan. The next thing he knew, he saw the room and his opponent through the eyes of a wolf, growling, with back arched and head bowed menacingly, eyes fixed on her as if she was nothing but prey. She gaped at him in shock as he gathered himself to leap on her.

"Beast Boy, _stop!_" she cried, gathering her forces out of reflex, having honed them through countless battles to save her life. Just as he made his jump, she wrapped him in numerous layers of laundry and rubbish, catching him in it and holding him fast in mid-air, his front legs pinned to his side. She flinched back, stunned at his vicious rage as he snarled and barked at her, fighting to work free and complete his attack, much more a wild animal than the friend who had been close to tears with her just a while earlier.

She had done something once before, thanks to knowledge gleaned from dark magic, and did so again; focusing her power on him, on the cells of his body, forcing them to relinquish this savage, primal form. He howled with a wolfish outcry both angry and distraught, but as much as he fought it, her powers were much stronger, and gradually he morfed back into the green changeling, and she hoped someone who would be sensible. "What the hell... are you doing...!" he groaned.

"Trying to reason with you!" she replied as the lad struggled to break free of her trap, fighting to work his arms loose. She reached for his face, hoping to soothe him, but she had to yank her hands back as he snapped at them, growling, more like the wolf than an angry teen.

"What did you do to Terra!" he cried furiously. "_She nearly got run over_ because of you!"

Raven looked down, wincing painfully at the nearly tragic image of that moment. "I know, Beast Boy... I'm sorry, but listen-"

"Why... _why did you do it!_ Spyin' on us like that... do you have to ruin _everything?_" he exclaimed spitefully.

He regretted his outburst as she glared at him with teeth clenched, but as she held his face, her hands were shaking, her eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "Beast Boy... listen to me, _please!_" she said to him angrily, though half from self guilt. "This isn't easy! Let me explain, then... I place myself at your mercy." Her arms fell to her side, her cloak settling around her, and though she tried to remain stoic, she was clearly torn with regret.

His outrage dwindled at the sight, groaning as his emotions fell into a tumult, and at last he muttered, "Alright, just... lemme go, okay? I won't do anything - stupid." His voice faltered as the darkness abated, the makeshift trap fell away and he rubbed his arms to get the blood circulating again. "Uhm... thanks. Sorry, I kinda snapped, there. But... Raven, what's the _deal?_ With the sneaking around us and all? Terra's scared to death of you!"

"I know that now," she muttered somberly. "But I had to be sure about her."

"Of _what?_" he blurted out, then grew angry again. "_Oh_, that she might try 'n use me to get back at you guys? Or worm her way in here again? Look, I know I'm the _junior_ member 'n all, and you guys still treat me like I'm a little kid, but give me some freaking credit for having half a damn brain! I'm not clueless! Don't you trust me _at all?_"

Outside the door, Robin whispered, "_Terra?_ So it _was_ her he was seeing."

Cyborg looked to him quizzically. "Hey, I thought you knew. You said-"

"I was guessing," he replied, then hushed his friend. "Listen, in case they mention something significant."

"Beast Boy, _look_," Raven growled, her eyes glowing a threatening orange for a moment. "At one point, your little _girlfriend_ willingly put herself under the control of Slade and tried to kill us all! I had to see for myself _which_ facet of Terra was in control. I _do_ trust you, very much, but... when it comes to her, your judgment can get a little clouded. And with her sudden, unexplained restoration in the recent past, you have to know that we should have reason to be concerned."

"Yeah, well, I was thinkin' about that," he said to her a bit tersely, "and it hit me that she must'a changed back about two years ago from what she said. And two years ago, your _dad_ turned every living thing to stone." She gasped sharply at the startling implications, and Beast Boy eyed her meaningfully. "Yeah... you get it, don'cha. You changed everything back to the way it was, and from rock back to living things. Maybe it was just a consequence, or something subconscious you did for her, but I figure, you're responsible for it."

"That... never occurred to me... but then, I did everything I could to block that horrible time from my mind," she grumbled, then gave him a thin smile. "But... nice, that's pretty good thinking."

He folded his arms haughtily. "Hey, I'm not the same dumb little kid that first joined the team years ago. But anyway, are you _happy_ now? She's just mixed up!"

"It's more than that; she's unstable," Raven said warningly, then looked aside. "Which seems to be much too common a situation lately..."

It was impossible to miss her meaning, and he asked sympathetically, "Oh, yeah... so, how are you doin' now?"

"I'm _dealing_ with it and will be fine," she told him bluntly. "Let's stick to the subject at hand. That girl is in a very fragile state. Do you know why?"

He looked down fretfully as he tried to sort everything out that he knew so far. "A lot of it... the usual teenage stuff; school troubles, parent issues, things like that. But also, somethin' up with her dad and his job that's messin' up everything at home, her amnesia... uhm..."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with you forcing yourself back into her life, would it?" she asked pointedly. "Because yesterday about that time, there was a two-point-five or so tremor in her neighborhood, and that's much too coincidental."

"No!" he snapped back. "And you should know that from your snoopin' around!"

"Are you _sure?_" She stared at him intently, looking for any sign of evasion. "You didn't say or do anything yesterday to make her uncomfortable, or regret seeing you again?"

He glared back, thinking of just lying to her, but knew that it probably wouldn't work on the mystic. "Yeah... at first. I mean, you know me... she didn't wanna have anything to do with me for almost two years, and I don't exactly watch my tongue all that well, 'cause it's hard to see and all..." He stuck it out, crossing his eyes to get a glimpse of it.

"Not funny," she grumbled, her eyes fixed on him hawkishly.

"Okay _okay_, just tryin' to lighten the mood in here..." he sighed, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Anyway, after a while, we hit it off great. But then, all this stuff she kept inside started pourin' out, and she's really upset about it, especially that amnesia. She doesn't know who she is, doesn't have a past... it's like she's just two years old! And it's eatin' her up inside! She wants my help, says I'm the only one she can trust, and I promised I would, but... I don't know what to do except talk. Raven, you gotta help 'er-!"

He reached for her hands, but she grabbed his first. "Beast Boy, listen to me... I've reached a few conclusions, so listen carefully and take this to heart."

He tugged on his lip nervously, but readied himself for whatever she had to say, as comfortable or not, she was usually right. "Uhm... okay, shoot."

She wasn't sure what he would think of this, but he had to know, and told him as she drew back, "First of all, that amnesia is most likely self-enforced-"

He gaped at her in shock. "_Seriously?_"

"Yes, I _am_," she continued, hoping to state her case without much more interruption. "Normal instances of amnesia last a few months at most. So this is most likely a sign that she's doing this to block out the disaster she made of her life when she agreed to serve Slade. Remember how much she hates _Terra_. Unfortunately, the rest of her life was sacrificed as a result, but she's doing it to keep herself sane."

"_Sane?_" he blurted out. "But... it's tearin' her in two!"

"It can't be helped. She's conflicted because there are precious memories that are being buried along with the bad ones, but she'll eventually adjust to it, until whenever she can consciously deal with the memories she hates." She added soberly, "She may never be able to, so keep that in mind. And as a consequence of this, you have to put the name _Terra_ completely out of your mind, and never mention any situation remotely like what you experienced with her before the event. It's unfortunate, but you have to keep that name and those memories to yourself."

While he was a late bloomer mentally, he had been gradually absorbing from the others the ability to reason things out, and one thought was particularly troubling. "But... _I'm a part_ of those precious memories. Does that mean that... I'm bad for her?"

She looked to him in amazement. "Well... aren't you full of surprises today. Normally, I'd say yes, but she's already given you notice that... well, you're the most important thing in her life, and you're worth any amount of trouble. So leaving her would probably just make things worse." As she expected, that revelation made his day, and she grinned as he began to celebrate like the winner of the Jump City Karaoke Contest. "Hold on, lover boy," she interrupted, pulling down an upraised arm, "there are some consequences to worry about. Because of all this, she's unstable. In essence, you're her psychotherapist now, so _you_ are going to have to be _extremely careful with her_, and do everything in your power to keep her from going off the deep end when she starts to lose it. Be accutely aware of whatever subjects trouble her, memorize them and _stay away from them_. Don't ask too many questions. Let her bring things up, and explore them at her own pace."

That put out the fire real quick, and he looked discouraged. "Well... thanks a _lot_, Raven. Her _shrink?_ I don't know if I can deal with that kind of responsibility. I love her... I don't wanna hurt her-!"

"Hey, calm down," she told him reassuringly. "Remember, just be yourself and talk, and that'll do a world of good for her. And... let her know how much you care. Just let _her_ bring up the L-word though, or do it very carefully. She has been going through some pretty drastic mood swings, so be aware of them."

He didn't seem too sure of himself, but she had a feeling that they would find their own level soon enough. He had to ask, "So... how soon do ya think she'll be okay? Or at least, better?"

She briefly cast her eyes to the ceiling. "I don't know, Beast Boy... that's up to her to decide. Above all, just be patient with her. Don't rush things. And don't ask me to help her. For whatever reason, I terrify her, and it may be a long time before we can even face each other again. But you can ask me for advice anytime. So, first..." She handed him the snow shovel. "Clean your room. Then, maybe, chat to her about tomorrow."

He gave her a dour look as he took it. "_Yes ma'am_... crud, does everyone have to give me crap about my room today? It's not like it's a disaster or anything!"

She couldn't restrain a chuckle as she gaped around her. "It's _not?_" As he growled back, she cut off any chance of an argument erupting. "Beast Boy, listen... at the risk of sounding _feng shui_ about this, your room is where you do a lot of your thinking, right? Well, it's important that it's uncluttered, because that will have an effect on how organized your thinking is, and you're going to have to be doing some _clear_ thinking for the foreseeable future if you're going to be helpful to Angela. Trust me on this."

That sealed the debate, and he began to shovel piles of debris aside, though he stopped to say one more thing. "Uhm... hey, uh... sorry I freaked out on you. I never did that before, especially to someone that I... uhm... care about." He flashed the mystic a weak smile, adding quickly, "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, promise."

"Well... I had to be sure," she smirked, bumping his arm. "But there are no hard feelings. Just _don't_ do it again, okay? And listen, you might tell Angela that it was me that upset her on the way home, and that I promise not to shadow you both anymore. It should keep her from feeling paranoid." As she drew her hood over her head, she told him, "By the way, that was quite a talk she gave on the way home. I'm amazed with how intelligent she's become. Very impressive."

"Yeah, she's-" he began, welling up with pride, but it was cut short with a cry as she vanished in a cloak of blackness. As he picked himself up from a pile of clothes, he muttered, "Heck, Raven... do you do that to show off or _what?_ I mean, there are _doors_ and all..."

Raven manifested in her room and stood there for a while pensively, unable to keep her mind from wrestling with itself.

_She leaned against the wall, hiding her face as she fought back tears, moaning, "Oh, flaming black Hell... everyone must know what a complete ass I am!"_

_"Angela almost got run over because of you!" Beast Boy shouted. "Do you have to ruin _everything?_"_

_She looked up to the wrecked apartment buildings, and the people leaning from windows, yelling down at her in anger. Tears of frustration and pain welled up in her eyes as she beat her fists against her friend's chestplate, sobbing, "Cyborg... I... I don't know what happened - I'm sorry!"_

_Robin and Starfire wrestled on the mat, but with a different intent than a contest of wills, as they pulled at each other's clothes and their lips drew on the others' hungrily. The sound of their passions welling up grew almost desperate. And she watched them, on and on in lurid captivation, feeling her own body respond as they-_

"_Stop it!_" she exclaimed to herself, holding her head, torn with humiliation and shame. She looked up and found herself standing before her full length mirror, cracks still running through it, and the sight of her fractured reflection infuriated her. "What the hell is _wrong with you!_"

"You dive head first into waters which you cannot comprehend in the least, and then say something like that?" the image asked. "The last time you fell in love, you unleashed-"

"_Shut UP!_" she yelled, practically screaming, and just stopped herself before driving her fist through the glass. Cursing foully under her breath, she sat down roughly at her desk, propping her head up with one arm. "I guess... meditation is out of the question, now..."

She had to wonder about the unfinished statement made by her reflection. It was a very painful time she normally refused to remember, but she was afraid it explained a few things. Primarily, why she had never had a boyfriend on this world. Well... or ever, but she had mentally come of age here. Being attracted to the opposite sex was natural, and she felt it as much as any young girl. It was the worst of tragedies that the first real opportunity to find a paramour ended up being some damned monster trapped in a magical book of ancient history. Normally so careful and wise, she was easily seduced, used by him to secure his freedom, and could well have lost her life in the battle to re-seal the beast in the archaic tome.

But no; while that might have some bearing on why her love life was essentially a wasteland, that didn't explain the disaster her life had become lately. "Why am I almost as messed up as Terra?" she wondered aloud. Before the echo of her voice died away completely, the name _Robert Smith_ sprang to mind, and she withered inside. Still, while it was an obvious answer, falling for someone she had no hope of being with, that wasn't the complete explanation for the debacle she had been suffering through. The alienation, the depression, the withdrawl, losing control of her powers... _seeing Slade?_ And leaving the scene before nailing down whether or not it was a hallucination? "I really am in a mess... and I still have not a clue what to do about it," she murmured sadly, then glared at her cracked mirror. "And a lot of help _you_ are, stating the obvious."

For want of something to do, she decided to check her emails, and as her computer awoke on the large HD screen, she began to change her mind until she saw a few messages in the short list. Two were from Stab, and as she laid eyes on the titles, her phone vibrated; he was clearly anxious to talk. Unfortunately, she still felt a bit too reclusive and confused to want to share in a conversation just yet, and tossed the cellphone beside her sharply slanted bookcase at the end of the room. The second was from Zardoz, and her heart skipped as she saw his name beside the title: Hey! Why the *bleep!* didn't you tell me!

She had to chuckle, as he hardly ever used profanity, and had likely censored it himself. But the third one was from an old acquaintance who rarely contacted her, outside of certain anniversaries, unless she suffered some calamity which became public.

**Jordan Wakeman:** Anything I can do for you?

Her eyes lingered on the entry for some time, as he was the first person on Earth she had allowed herself to trust. And of all the people, the youth minister of a local Church.

He was constantly scouring the city for stray and runaway kids, taking them in to a local mission he helped fund and run, doing what he could to pick up the pieces of broken lives and send them home again, in mostly better shape than when he found them. He was rather clever in assuming the role of a twenty-something goth, though a little milder one than someone like Robert, and for those not in the know, carried on as a possible drug dealer.

She had shown up on Earth literally out of the blue – or black, one night as it were, and in no time, suffered a tragic event which she kept buried in her psyche like a coffin. Everyone feared her, as she did the Terran people, and wandered the streets, lonely and ever hungry. And then one day, he was driving along and spied her, wandering aimlessly. He didn't know what to make of this weirdly dressed, gaunt, unbathed, pale-skinned wraith, but offered his hand in friendship, and with it, a place to stay, meals and a bath, all of which she needed desperately. She wasn't sure whether or not to trust him, but she didn't have much choice, and was eternally grateful for his generosity. He was the first genuine soul she had encountered, and strangely, didn't fear her when he learned that she was an alien with supernatural powers, but accepted her for what she was.

As she settled in and he got to know her, he did his best to try and convert her, to no avail of course, and they had some epic debates on metaphysical matters. She was amazed at the depth of his understanding, but annoyed at his stubborn insistence that the ultimate, significant truths weren't shrouded in mysteries, which was contrary to everything she understood. And they went round and round in arguments about things like the nature of the Messiah; she insisting that the term was a title, like a political office, and he agreeing that it was a title, but bestowed on one historical figure alone. And while the debates became a bit heated on occasion, he wasn't the least bit intimidated by her powers or knowledge from beyond his world, and always appologized to her afterward. He stood his ground, held his own, and always with kindness and a smile at the end of it, which impressed her greatly.

Eventually she had to move on, as there was something about the place which grated on her nerves, especially on Sundays. He understood, and did everything he could to prepare her for her new life on his world, even when she confessed that she was going to pursue the occult path there. He gave her his blessing, a small pile of books which she still treasured, a library card of her own, some basic hygenics, maps of the area, and a nice sum of cash to get started. And they parted as friends, but it left her feeling hollow and lonely. She still found the whole experience hard to believe, and regretted that she had all but abandoned him.

And here he was, offering that hand of friendship and help again. He did send her little e-cards on Christmas and her birthday, as he was the only other Terran who knew it, and she made donations to his mission out of gratitude. Other than that, they had nothing to do with each other, except for times like this, when things had gone badly for her. The last time he had written her like that was when she had defeated her father and restored the world to its original glory, and that startled her so much, she hadn't opened it, and it remained unread to this day.

Her mouse lingered over the opening link... and sat there, as her deliberations became more unsure. "What can you do for me?" she pondered aloud. "Especially with you being on the other side?" She eventually clicked on it anyway, as she had to do _something_ to move things along, and the screen popped up with the expected non-earthshaking message.

_Raven,_

_I caught the news about your unfortunate experience last night. Is anything wrong which we mere mortals can do anything about? If you want to talk about things sometime, you know my address and number._

_Be well, and God bless._

_Jordy_

"_Unfortunate experience?_ You always put things in the most positive light possible," she smirked, then lay her head on her arms as she gazed up at the screen wistfully. "Sometimes... I think I would give anything to be a mere mortal, with much simpler problems..."

Her cellphone hummed again from across the room; she could hear the vibrator clearly in the silence, and groaned at the realization that she wouldn't be able to avoid a certain someone forever. She backed out of the email and clicked on Stab's first message.

_Raven!_

_Hey, I've been trying to reach you for a couple hours now. I saw the news. What's wrong? Unless you're doing some secret ritual to fix things, you really shouldn't hide from reality to escape it, that's the worst thing you can do. Want to hitch up and check out some music or whatever and talk about stuff? I have some news - actually two things to yack over with you. Pick up or give me a ring sometime before it gets late!_

_Love ya._

_Stab_

She heaved a conflicted sigh and began to respond, wondering what to say.

_Stab,_

_Sorry about that! I don't know what to tell you. I lost track of my_

She stopped, gazing at her phone which was clearly visible by the bookcase. She hated lying, even telling little white lies, and used her dark energies to zap it someplace random within the Tower before she resumed typing. "There... at least I can be honest about it."

Robin was off by himself in the kitchen, wearing an apron and chef's hat. He tended a big metal pot with some smaller ones on the stove, and as with the other Titans who led rather solitary lives for ages, he was talking to himself about it. "It's been a while since we had a good home cooked stew, and it's something even Beast Boy can have with us, minus the meat - _HEY!_"

He flinched back as something fell into the pan, splashing him with hot thick broth. Fighting back a curse, he fished around with a ladle while glancing up to see if anything else was going to rain down on him. "What the _hell_ was...?" He made contact with the object and scooped it out, gaping at it in shock. "A _cellphone?_" An angry cloud formed over his head as he thought of the only person it could belong to.

It occurred to Raven that Stab had sent her two emails, and opened the other message in a separate window, her eyes opening wide in delight as she saw the news he wanted to discuss with her.

_Stab,_

_Sorry about that! I don't know what to tell you. I lost track of my cellphone - god knows where it is._

_Hey, I just read the news! Congratulations! That is so cool, opening for a new band! How did they learn about you? Catch your performance at The Sepulchre? Claw send them a CD? When I find my cell, I promise to call you, extenuating circumstances permitting (having to save the world, Beast Boy needing to die, etc)._

_I am going to be busy for a while, but I'll give you a ring when I'm free._

_Be well._

_Raven_

She paused before sending it, as "be well" was a term she reserved for very close friends, or for those she held in high regard, like Jordan. Since she still wasn't _entirely_ sure about the guitarist, she mulled it over, finally replacing it with a more innocuous _Take care_ before sending it off.

Her emailing was interrupted by a knock at her door. Groaning at the thought of Beast Boy wanting to talk, she grumbled resignedly, "Coming... I'm coming." She was caught off guard by the sight of a dour looking Robin through the opening, splattered with meat stock, holding her cellphone.

"_Lose_ something?" he muttered, holding it out to her, and with that mask of his, he looked as grim as an executioner.

"Uhm... yeah, sorry, thanks," she blurted out guiltily.

He jumped back as she snatched it from him and slammed the door closed, calling through it, "Uh... _if you want to talk_, I'll be in the kitchen. Or... Starfire can-"

"You _called_, my betrothed?" the alien girl practically sang to him abruptly, seeming to have appeared from nowhere. She leaned into him, smiling with delight, and ran her finger along the curve of his nose.

"Uhh... not exactly-" he began, leaning away from her, as she still bore a hungry look in her eyes.

She gave a delectable hum, taking a startling whiff of him. "You smell... _delicious_."

"Uh... it's stew," he informed her nervously, and realizing that they were a bit too close to Raven's room, he began to back down the corridor towards the stairwell. "Which I really _need to get back to-_"

"Can it not _saute_ on its own for a while?" she asked leadingly, drifting along mere inches from him, the look in her eyes growing more ravenous.

"_Stew_, and I really should get back to - _Starfmph!_" That was all he could get out before she pounced him, his hat tumbling to the floor as she smothered his lips with a giggle. Struggling to keep his head, and losing badly, as the Tamaranian practically mauled him, he managed to gasp out between forceful kisses, "Room... for peef's sake... _get us to a rmmm_..."

Beast Boy stood there with a load of trash on the snow shovel, stunned, watching the entangled couple as they tumbled into Robin's bedroom. A soda can clanged to the floor from the pile, and finally roused him. "Wow... _whole_ lotta changes happenin' this year..." he muttered as he trudged to a trash chute in the middle of the wall and dumped his load. "I wish that kinda change would happen with me 'n Angie..."

But no, he told himself, as the warning Raven had given him came to mind. "Take it slow and easy? _Aaugh!_" He doubled his fists, arching his back as he raised them overhead in frustration. "I want that girl to be mine forever... if only she was older!" As he tried to imagine her at nineteen or so, it struck him that she might have been on her computer, hoping to reach him.

Sure enough, there were two new messages in his list, and his heart plummeted at the forlorn sounding titles.

**Angelz:** Garfield, hey, I'm sorry

**Angelz:** PLEASE be there, I need to talk to you so BAD!

He opened the first one, hoping it was somewhat positive, but being written after she had bolted for her home in terror, it wasn't the most cheerful message.

_Hey,_

_I'm sorry I reacted like that. I don't know what happened back there, but it scared me to death. I want to talk more... I'm hoping you're there..._

He drew a heavy breath, ignoring the link, and decided to peek at the second email. But it was a single line, and it cut him like a dagger.

_Please, please please PLEASE don't do this to me! PLEASE BE THERE!_

"Oh, _maaan_," he whined, trying to reply, but forgot to remove his gloves and ended up splashing letters at random. "Crap, I gotta calm down..."

_Angie,_

_Hey sorry, didn't have the computer up. Had things to do. Wanna do email tag?_

_Please be there baby, I need to talk to you too._

_Luv ya bunches._

_BB_

He winced as he realized what he'd typed at the end. "Oh well... maybe it's not _reeeealy_ the L-word to her..." Still, he hoped it was, and she felt the same, and fretted as the moments wore on. "This is practically on its way the second I hit _send_, right-?" He jumped as his email alert dinged, and a new message from Angela appeared atop the list, and he said eagerly, "Well, I guess it _is-!_" He stopped short as the title practically bit him.

**Angelz:** USE THIS! !

"Uh... _yes ma'am!_" he exclaimed as he opened the message, and got a faceful of capital letters.

_FORGET MAIL TAG!_

_HIT THE LINK! DOWNLOAD IT! INSTALL AND RUN IT! NAOW!_

He groaned as he saw that it was a link to Skychat. "Aww, Angie... I don't know a _thing_ about computer stuff like that," he moaned, but since no one was around to help, he decided he would give it a shot...

A few uncertain minutes later, he was amazed that he had it up and running. "Hey... I guess this stuff really _is_ as easy as they say it is on TV! Now, I think the details she sent in her email go... _heeere_..."

He practically fell out of his chair as her face popped up in his monitor with a squeal. "I can't believe it... _you can follow instructions!_" she laughed.

He forgot to be insulted as he gaped at the screen in amazement. "Wow... this is so _cool!_ Just like our big screen! I wish I'da known this was so easy... I would'a done this yesterday!"

"I was afraid to push you into it, Mister I-can't-plug-in-a-game-console," she snickered.

"Hey, I _can_ be taught," he grumbled back, then looked her face over closely, his fake ire wilting. "Say... you haven't been cryin', have you? Are you all right?"

She lay down, gazing into the screen with a smile, and wiped her face self-consciously. "I am now. Anyway, I don't have all day for this. So... talk to me. Please?"

"Hey... you don't need to ask me somethin' like that. I'll be happy to talk your ears off," he told her as he rested his chin on his arms. "Did I mention I want to make your whole life totally better? How can I do that for ya?"

She squirmed into her bed, batting her eyes thoughtfully, or blinked back tears, though it was hard to tell which. His stomach turned to jelly from the amorous tone in her voice. "I don't know, but... this is a wonderful way to start..."

"Yeaahhh..." he drawled out with a lurid grin, then blinked as his comm alarm went off. "_No!_"

"What is it... _what's wrong?_" she asked worriedly, then feared that he was going to have to deal with some evildoer, and would be gone for the rest of the night.

In his room, the Boy Wonder looked up at the alarm. "Oh no... _the stew!_" Robin exclaimed, looking up for his comm, and fought to untangle himself from the groping Tamaranian. "Starfire, I have to-!" he began, but fell face first into the carpet from his bed as she clung to him.

"Dang it, Robin! Did you have to leave the stove on when you ran off to fool around with Star_frmphh?_" Beast Boy started to growl as he saw the alert, then smothered his mouth as he realized he was spilling this out to Angela.

"_What was that?_" she asked, her feminine curiosity piqued by a few key words.

"Uhm... listen, I have about a minute before the sprinklers douse the kitchen third of our Main Ops room because of a stove issue," he blurted out quickly while donning his gloves, then gave the screen a kiss. "Be right back - don't go anywhere!"

She watched him dash off sourly, but then hugged her pillow to herself with a giggle. "And they don't appreciate that guy... what would they do without him?"

"Mr Responsible, Mr Responsible, _Mr Responsible_..." he muttered as he ran down the hall, then blinked in shock from a voice at his shoulder.

"So what are you responsible for now?" Raven grumbled, flying alongside him. "And are you actually burning _tofu?_"

"No!" he protested. "Robin was cookin' dinner, I guess, and Starfire kinda... distracted him..."

She sighed as it occurred to her that she had inadvertently put Robin in position for that with her cellphone stunt. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me..." she began, then caught the sound of others behind them, saying guardedly, "Beast Boy, _stop_."

"Huh?" he said, halting in his tracks, then gave a muffled cry as a shroud of blackness plunged him into the floor.

Just then, Robin rounded the corner trailed by Starfire, both of them wearing his iconic red and gold robes. "But Robin," Starfire said to him in hushed tones, "if stew is to... _stew_ all afternoon, why is it burning?"

"Because something-" he started to say, but when he looked behind him, he nearly choked. "Starfire, _tie your robe closed!_" As she did as she was told, flushed with embarrassment, he went on, "For some strange reason, Raven's cellphone fell into the pot as I was going to add water. I took it up to her when... I ran into you, and we ended up... _involved_..."

Raven eased up through the floor with Beast Boy in her grasp. "_Sweet_," he whispered in amazement. "No wonder I couldn't sense you at all when you were tailin' us."

"Cute couple," Raven murmured with a smirk as the pair trotted around a corner to the stairwell, their robes flopping as they went.

"Come on, let's watch!" the changeling urged mischievously.

"Yeah... and if we're lucky, they'll get caught in the sprinklers," she said, sharing a grin with him.

It was rather anticlimactic but still amusing to watch, as Robin stared at the ruined stews in dismay, reduced to charcoal in their pots, with Starfire fretting over it at his side. "I guess... I'll chizel those out later," he muttered, drawing his comm from a robe pocket. "Uhm... guys, change of menu for tonight. I'm gonna get Chinese later. What do you feel like?"

Beast Boy and Raven looked to each other with a shrug in a black halo near a far ceiling corner. "The usual," they said into their comms in harmony.

"The... what the heck does _that_ mean!" Robin growled, pocketing the communicator as they signed off. "All I remember is that Cyborg wants four of everything... ohh, I'll ask 'em before I go."

"Robin," Starfire said to him softly, "I could tend to the ruined meal later, and go to collect the cartons of Chinese delicacies for you..." He began to reply when she stroked a finger lightly, meaningfully, along his cheek. "If so... could we continue with...?"

It was hard to think straight, as what they had been _continuing with_ was much too fresh in his mind, and body. "Well... I-" he began, but was cut short with a sultry kiss. As he moaned his way through it, he managed to gasp out, "Juft... hurry us upftairs..."

That was all she needed to hear, grabbing him and flying off with a yelp trailing behind as she rocketed out the barely parted doors. "_Yikes_," Beast Boy hissed from his dark perch. "And I thought they had the hots before... at least Starfire did! Hey, think we could-?"

Raven cut him off with a smack to his head. "Don't even _joke_ like that," she grumbled, hoping to smother the guilt from her voice. "Did you like it when I peeked in on you and Angela?"

"Uhm... good point," he murmured, then tugged his lip. "Say... where's Cyborg? You'd think he'd be the first one here."

"That's what I was wondering..." Raven concurred.

They could hardly believe their eyes as the cybernaut pranced and spun between Raven's speakers, blasting a catchy funk-pop tune as he thumbed air-bass to the rhythm. "She's a superfreak! _Superfreak!_ She's super-_freak-eh!_" he yelled along with the bass player in a video, oblivious to his audience watching from a black portal in the wall.

They had to muffle laughter as they watched the performance, Beast Boy saying in her ear, "I'd say your stereo is about ready... when you can pry Cyborg away from it!"

* * *

><p>Back in her room, Raven was torn between the anticipation of her resurrected stereo, and angst over her troubled life. And whether or not to reply to Jordan, as she sat at her desk. "Why in the name of Hade-?" she started to say, then realized that wasn't a very appropriate emphatic to use on him. "<em>Heaven<em>... did you decide now, of all times, to contact me? You, of all people? You're... radioactive." It was the cliche she used for the sensations she experienced around him and his Church. It was actually a little more like being near a fire; something that was warming on cold days, but was also terribly hot and destructive when you got too close. Though at that moment, she felt like she could use a little fire...

She had to chuckle at herself. "Of all the things to think, when I really want to be with..."

'Robert - go ahead and say it,' she told herself. 'You might as well be honest with your own stupid soul.'

"Ohhh... shut up," she grumbled, reading his email again, brief as it was, her cursor hovering over the Reply button. She hesitated, wanting to respond, but she couldn't bring herself to make that click. Though as she thought about it, she recalled why. "I need answers... _real_ answers, not platitudes, and you never had anything solid for me to grab onto."

_Then again, were you ever completely straightforward with him?_

"Of course I was... I respected him!" she declared. But upon further reflection, she remembered that there were many things she kept to herself. Her first night on Earth that went horribly wrong. That she was the key to unleashing her devil-king father on the universe, and _had_, in spite of every attempt to prevent it. That she cared for Jordan, and regreted leaving his sanctuary.

That old recollection stung a bit, and she chewed her lip sourly. He was a rare man, perhaps the best human being she had ever met, as good and decent as any of the Titans, another guy who really should be happily married. But he chose his work over romance, even though she had caught occasional sparks between himself and some woman or other, which made her secretly jealous as hell, and happy as a lark when things failed to gel. Why... she wasn't sure. She didn't want him, not like that. And yet, even though she rarely thought of him, there was something lurking in his essence that plucked a chord in her spirit...

And so, here they were at either end of an email she couldn't deal with, just as they were at opposite ends of the spectrum - about as opposite as you could get. An email she couldn't handle, nor could she tear herself away from it, and so she grew more depressed.

She had to move things along somehow, and as she peered at her oversized monitor, she realized that one more email was peeking at her from behind Jason's. Why not add to the pile of unresolved misery?

**Zardoz:** Why the *bleep!* didn't you tell me!

She couldn't help but chuckle as she read the self-censored title again, and though she didn't really mean to, the mouse seemed to move on its own and open it.

_OY!_

_Raven, what the hell is wrong with you! First time I've seen you for ages, and I have to learn about your troubles from some idiot news anchor! I thought we had a thing going between us, you and I - you know, you put up with my shoddy establishment, and I put up with you ignoring my best hookers._

She had to laugh at his flamboyant and rather spicy language, as "hookers" were flirt lines for him, not prostitutes. She rested her head on her folded arms with a wistful sigh as she resumed.

_Anyway, it figures that you'd flake off and leave me like that after a mere chemical disaster. Listen, come on back, and I promise the food will have no freon taste in it whatsoever! And since you're drinking now, evidently, I'll crack open some good stuff for you, on the house. Or if not, root beer or OJ, your call. Either way, maybe then we can finally catch up on those two centuries of my life in exile. Wha'dya say?_

"Sure... sounds great," she said, then shook her head at herself with a chuckle. "Raaven... quit being such a dumb pingpong ball. You know he's just a stand-in for..."

_Robert._

It always came back to that rock star, that name, that man. "I do... I want to be with him," she murmured, her breath becoming a moan as her admission dragged her down an ever steeper incline into a darker depression. '_How_ did I end up like this?' she wondered once more, and still had no idea. She felt baffled, utterly lost, as she pondered what her life amounted to... what it all meant. "What it means to be... _me_," she muttered as she rested her chin on her arm, scratching the top of her head with the other, staring through her HD screen somberly into the universe beyond.

Things happen for a reason. While she was mystified as to what the ultimate Truth was, whether there were many gods or one, whether reincarnation or one earthly life, of that one thing she was sure: things happen for a reason.

There was a reason that she was born one of the most unique beings in the universe, a half-blood of terrible, powerful, lordly demonkind, and of lowly, humble, wise humanity. A reason that she was blessed to spend her childhood with her loving, caring mother, and the knowledgeable monks and priest of Azarath. A reason that she was able to harness those dark, devilish abilities of her demonic side without going insane or succumbing to evil. But she was growing afraid of a few things.

That she really was little more than a weapon in Robin's arsenal to unleash on the evil of this world.

That she would never truly know love, because she was just too different, too dark, too creepy, to have anything resembling a normal romantic relationship, even something as comically turbulent as Robin and Starfire's.

And worst of all, she feared that she might not be as sane as she used to be. That what she was experiencing could be the onset of a looming battle with her dark side. That Rage and her demon blood might be stronger than she gave them credit for...

"No... _no!_" she exclaimed as she cradled her head in her hands. "It just can't be like that... I can't believe that I was created... just to have a few years of relative peace and happiness, only to lose it all... that my _only_ boyfriend was a god damned dragon! _Why!_" She pounded her fists on her desk, shouting, "Why was I made like this! _Why_ was I cursed with this nature! _Why!_ And with no answers? It's not fair..." Her voice faltered to a moan, her eyes closing in sorrow as she toyed absently with her mouse. "It's not right, and _it's just not fair_..."

_And yet, things happen for a reason. Right?_

She looked up with a start. It almost sounded like a voice in the room this time, but... no, she could sense nothing there, and she wasn't sleepy. If anything, she was vexed. "So, what _is_ it? Was I just an experiment by some god who wanted to see what happened when I was brought to life? _What is the reason!_" she shouted up to the ceiling, but as she expected, there was no response. "Great... now I'm talking to invisible friends," she grumbled.

She grew more frustrated and angry, didn't want to deal with emails or ultimate truths or unrequited love. She wanted to listen to some of her more depraved music at ear-blasting volume, Nine Inch Nails or something likewise drenched with the venom of existential rage. Or smash something to bits, though music was a little less destructive. But another option came to mind: to look into that movie Vulnavia had lent her, and see how another poor soul dealt with one of the cruelest twists of Fate ever. And at the moment, it was about the best company she could hope for.

She slid the DVD into her computer's drive, put on her headphones and gazed at the splash screen that came up in a state almost of shock. Something about it, of the old, Victorian styled buildings huddled in the dark rain of a night storm as if in fear, of the orchestral strings accompanying a somber reed instrument which played a morbid dirge portending unspeakable cruelties, of the crow that landed with a flap of ebon wings on the black shoulder silhouette of an undead vigilante, of that startling white face which flashed into being with a crash of lightning, with black lining his eyes and mouth like some gothic Joker, of those eyes that stared right through her soul as if searching for any hint of evil to condemn with dreadful, swift, ruthless judgment...

This was a window opening onto a world which she yearned to fly into, as if fashioned of all her hurts and fears, regrets and yearnings, of terror, of splendor, of dark, bleak, gothic beauty. It was morbidly wonderful. After gaping at it and drinking in the haunting melody of the looping music for some time, she noticed that there was a menu, and included in it as always were Extras. She clicked on it, and the gothic wraith swept the world away in a wash of dust with his hands. The links which came up caused her to cry out with delight, for one of them was a music video by The Cure. "Oh, I don't believe it!" she gasped, clicking on it immediately.

The music, and the video, built gradually like a storm. And like a storm, before she knew it, she was engulfed in a pounding, driving song which clawed its way into her psyche, and dragged her into a murderous tragedy, as the lives of a wonderful young couple were maliciously ruined by heartless, inhuman thugs who invaded their home and took their time destroying them in slow, brutal, sadistic torture. Even the brief glimpse of it in the video was nearly as hard to watch as any of the mind-numbing horrors from _Wicked Scary_, as they threw the man like trash through the ancient upper loft window to fall, still alive but devastated and dying, to the rainsoaked street below. She felt torn in two, excited by the premise, but caught up in the couples' pain as she shared in their tangible agony and grief, and found herself aching to avenge them as Robert's voice cried out in a lament over them both.

_"Don't look don't look," the shadows breathe  
><em>_Whispering me away from you  
><em>_"Don't wake at night to watch her sleep  
><em>_You know that you will always lose  
><em>_This trembling, adored,  
><em>_Tousled bird mad girl... "_

_But every night I burn  
><em>_But every night I call your name  
><em>_Every night I burn  
><em>_Every night I fall again_

She could hardly breathe as the man, Eric Draven, crawled from his own grave as his pain was forged into single-minded resolve to deliver malevolent retribution to the monsters who so callously tortured and ripped his life from him, and his innocent, harmless, precious wife. As he was led by the black winged avatar who resurrected him to paint his face in garish white and lined with stark black, and became the Crow, and as the experience became so emotionally intense, she wanted to scream.

_"Oh don't talk of love," the shadows purr  
><em>_Murmuring me away from you  
><em>_"Don't talk of worlds that never were  
><em>_The end is all that's ever true  
><em>_There's nothing you can ever say  
><em>_Nothing you can ever do"_

_Still every night I burn  
><em>_Every night I scream your name  
><em>_Every night I burn  
><em>_Every night the dream's the same  
><em>_Every night I burn  
><em>_Waiting for my only friend  
><em>_Every night I burn  
><em>_Waiting for the world to end_

Her heart raced as a montage opened up full of action, and all through it, Robert's guitar played an angry yet somehow exultant melody. She watched in captivation as the hero ran along rainsplashed rooftops, chasing the winged raven-black avatar which guided him among the crumbling world of evil. Through an insane, treacherous gauntlet which would have killed him all over again had he not already died, full of drug-ruined cutthroat thugs and confused policemen, all trying to stop him and failing.

_"Just paint your face," the shadows smile  
><em>_Slipping me away from you  
><em>_"Oh it doesn't matter how you hide  
><em>_Find you if we're wanting to  
><em>_So slide back down and close your eyes  
><em>_Sleep a while, you must be tired..."_

_But every night I burn  
><em>_Every night I call your name  
><em>_Every night I burn  
><em>_Every night I fall again  
><em>_Every night I burn!  
><em>_Scream the animal scream!  
><em>_Every night I burn!  
><em>_Dream the crow black dream!_

"Wow..." she whispered in awe, "holy flaming _Hades... wow_..."

She shivered with dread and anticipation as the video closed, her eyes moist, wanting to see more, wanting to see the monsters that created the Crow pay dearly for their depraved, wicked crimes in something far worse than mere pain and death. Hell, she wanted to help him! She wanted to watch it right then.

But she wanted to share it with the others. It was amazing how their emotions swam up from their spirits tangibly as they watched their movies together, and how much more she enjoyed them. And how much more it made her feel a part of the oddball group, and at home with them, with her very special, precious friends. Her family.

"They should really enjoy this," she said in a strained voice, and though she kept herself from seeing the movie, she settled for watching the video again. And again...

* * *

><p>"Oh, I <em>knew<em> it!" Angela cried, and had to stop herself from smashing her fist into her laptop keyboard. "_Damn that stupid bitch-!_"

"Hey, woah!" Beast Boy cut in hastily. "Angie... she happens to be my _friend_."

"How can that monster be your...!" she began, hugging herself as she trembled, and squeezed her eyes shut as her emotions welled up in reaction. "I'm sorry, Beast Boy... I... it's just that... why did she have to do that! Spying on us!"

"Ya know, it's funny but that's the same thing I said to her," he confessed in a tone he hoped was calming, as she was visibly worked up. She looked to him with a blink and he continued, "Yeah, I confronted 'er over it... heck, I was madder than you were. Changed into a wolf and jumped at 'er."

"Why didn't you bite her head off?" she grumbled bitterly.

He heaved an unhappy sigh as he wracked his brain for something to diffuse the tension. "Angie, come on... we had a long talk about stuff. She was just worried, 'cause... well, you know I'm not exactly the king of tact or anything, and she wanted to make sure that I wasn't just makin' things worse for you. She really does care about you."

At first she gaped in surprise, but then her arms tightened around herself as doubts welled up. "She's lying... she doesn't like me - she hates me!"

He gazed at her in perplexion, trying to fathom this deep seeded fear of the mystic, and decided to press her gently. "Angie... I don't get it. Why are you so scared of her? I mean... she's not the most charming girl in the universe, but around normal people, she's as meek and shy as they get!"

She looked aside, nibbling her lip worriedly. "I don't know... I just... something about her is... wrong." Without thinking, she leaned forward and blurted out, "Beast Boy, do you lo-" She bit her tongue before the question fully formed, as she still stumbled emotionally over the L-word. "Do you like being with me?"

He barely had a moment to wonder about the question, and that unfinished word, replying bluntly, "Are you kidding? It's all I wanna do anymore!" He nearly choked when he realized what he'd confessed, but... well, he'd said it.

"Then promise me that she'll never be around us ever again." As the lad began to object, she insisted, "_Promise!_"

He fumbled with his response and paused, conflicted, knowing that he couldn't make that oath. He considered lying about it with crossed fingers, but thought it would be a wretched thing to do to her, so he drew a deep breath and steeled himself for whatever came of it. "I can't do that. Now _listen_ to me," he continued as she began to protest. "The reason I can't is because you got Raven all wrong. She'd risk her life to save yours, and I know that for a fact. That's just who she is, and if anyone was watching our backs, I'd want it to be her. Now, we had a long talk about you, and she promised _me_ that she'd never bother us again, and she doesn't break her promises. She even told me to say this to you, so you'd know she meant it. I mean, ya know..." he added with a shrug, "I could'a kept this all secret. But I wanted to say this so you'd know that I'd never lie to you. Because... well, I really... care for you, and I'd never do anything to hurt you. I'd... leave you first. You have to believe me." His voice was tender, becoming emotional, and he hoped she understood what he was really saying to her behind the fumbling words.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt mixed up and afraid, but at the same time, hopeful, and reached to brush her fingers across the image of his face on the screen. No one had ever spoken so lovingly to her, not even her parents, and it melted her heart. As he began to whine to her, she cut him off, blubbering, "I'm... not crying... not like that. I just... sometimes, I don't know what to think anymore... unless I'm with you-"

She groaned as there was a knock at her door; her mother, calling, "Angela... is anythink wrong?"

"Mom," she hissed to him, then called over her shoulder, "No, _nothing._ I'm just... surfing the net and... stuff." As her mother made a reply, she gazed at the screen longingly, and said something against her better judgment. "You wanted to see me... how soon can you be here?"

He gaped at the screen in shock, then coughed out a laugh. "In sixty seconds, babe! Set your stopwatch!" He leaned forward, giving her image a smooch, then choked at such a blatant act, forgetting that he'd done it before. He rubbed the monitor with his sleeve, blurting out, "Uhh... somethin' on the screen, there..."

"Yeah, right... I think it's me," she giggled. "Hey, I'll be on the shore, wait-" She cut herself short as she saw the screen go blank, and the message _The other party has disconnected_ popped up. She nearly choked too as she recalled what he'd told her. "A _minute?_ Oh poop, I have to run!"

She barreled past her surprised mother as she was returning to the kitchen, and realized she had better say something remotely nonchalant. "Oh, hey, mom! I'm going to the shore! There's a really cute... _wave!_ Waves coming in, and I want to snap some pics!"

She looked to her daughter in perplexion. "But... vwere is your camera?"

"Oh! Yeah! Right, right," she blurted out, sprinting back to her room.

As she dashed past her mother, waving the camera, the woman murmured slyly as she gazed out on a calm, waveless bay. "_Right_, right... I can see that your father and I vill be having a leetle talk, soon..."

"Fifty-nine... fifty eight..." Beast Boy gasped out as he bolted down the corridor, then grumbled, "Oh, heck with it!" With a shriek, he morfed into a peregrine falcon and began flying down the hall for real, trailing green feathers from the force of his beating wings.

"_Yeow!_" Cyborg exclaimed, pulling a cart out into the hallway, and ducked as the green falcon just missed him. "Dude! _Signal_ if you're gonna race in the halls like that! You know that's a serious infraction!"

He hadn't caught much of what his friend cried out, but he didn't need to, and began giving falcon calls as he raced through the Tower's corridors as fast as a car for an exit. Robin hugged the wall as the streak of green shot past, shouting after it, "Hey, _what about supper-!_ Oh... heck, I guess, a veggie plate and spring rolls for him..."

Angela ran down the patio steps as fast as she could and bolted across the yard for the fence lining their property, and the gate that led to the rock lined beach. She had wanted to be there waiting for him without panting like she'd run for her life to be first, but she spotted a tiny dot in the sky that grew larger, with wings, and sprinted with everything she had.

He arrived at the beach a moment later, just as she made it herself, and landed in front of her, both of them trying to catch their breath as he resumed his normal form. "Uhh... hey," he gasped with a smile, half hunched over. "Think I'm... a few seconds early-"

That was all he got out when he was knocked to the sandbank by the girl, and he found himself smothered in a fierce, tight hug. "Hey... _hey_," he panted, stroking her back softly. "Are you okay?"

She couldn't answer right off as she was overcome with emotion, shivering as she pulled herself against him, but as her breathing slowed, she replied in a soft, affectionate tone, "I am now."

She flinched as the sound of a garage door came over the brink of the rise, and Beast Boy looked to her questioningly as she pulled them close to it for concealment. Then an unhappy thought came to him. "Uh... is it your dadski?"

"_Yes_... it figures, today _of all days_, he would be home early," she grumbled. As he began to pull away, she clutched him tightly. "No! Just... wait. Hold me, until you absolutely _have_ to go. _Please?_"

He didn't think it was a good idea, and opened his mouth to talk her out of it, but the words failed him at the forlorn look in her eyes. "Well... it's not like I want to go, anyhow..." His heart beat warm and fast as she settled against him, her cheek to his, twining legs as he enveloped her in his embrace.

The patio door opened. She clung to him him anxiously, his body growing tense and his embrace protective as they caught the father's gruff Kazakhian voice. But with it, her mother's, and after a few moments, their voices faded and the door closed on them without incident. "Ohh... _thank heaven_," she gasped.

"Amen to that," he agreed, stroking her side gently as his eyes half-closed, and he lost himself in the warmth of her presence. "I could... handle this for a few days," he murmured, nuzzling her cheek.

"Amen to that," she whispered with a smile, snuggling against him. She relaxed only slightly, wanting to feel as much of his strong young body against her as she could, and drink in the curious but delightful musk of his fragrance. Curling her fingers in his hair as their breathing settled into a harmonious rhythm, placing the other over his heart, she thought to herself, '_Mom, thank you... I owe you so big... _"

* * *

><p>Raven yanked the headphones off, wondering if she had heard something, then set them down as there was another knock at her door. She danced up to it, saying excitedly, "Please be Cyborg, <em>please be Cyborg<em>..."

She needn't have worried as his voice came through it a second later. "Yo, _Raven!_ Hope she doesn't have her 'phones on, blastin' away-" he began, when the door opened, and she practically wiggled in a delighted welcome. "_Well_, looks like someone's glad to see me-"

He gave a yelp as she yanked him inside. She had wanted to act surprised and excited when he showed up, but had missed her stereo so badly, there was no need for pretence. "Oh, Cyborg," she gushed, "it seems like I've waited a month - it's like I'm getting it for the first time!"

"Girl!" he laughed, "I don't think you were _this_ excited _then!_" His laughter faded as she grew somber, taking his hand and caressing the metal as if it was flesh, and blushed awkwardly as she gazed up at him, her eyes shining with affection. He feared she was going to start crying again. "Uhh... hey, I didn't do anything all that special-"

"Yes you did," she interrupted. "You know how much I love this thing... this _gift_, and... well, all of you. I usually don't show it, and... I know I've been a pain in the rear lately, but... you guys mean everything to me..." Her rough voice began to croak, and she knew she couldn't say any more without melting into tears, so she lifted his hand to her lips and gave it a soft kiss.

He was dumbstruck, wondering what on earth had made her so emotional, when a mortifying thought struck him, and he moaned, "Awww... crap, _oh man-!_" She looked up in surprise as he yanked his hand away, and fled the room to lean against the wall outside, holding his head in shame. "Oh, Raven... son of a... dammit... I shouldn't have eavesdrop - _I'm sorry_-"

"_No!_" she blurted out, chasing after him and grabbing his hand. "No, Cyborg... I'm the one who needs to appologize! Those things I said yesterday... _I didn't mean them_-"

"Hey," he cut in softly, giving her hand a squeeze as he gazed down at her. "You may not have meant 'em, but... I think they needed to be said. We take you way too much for granted... try 'n make you just one o' the guys, like you ain't any different. But you are... you're special, and we don't take your feelings into account. All that dark stuff you have to deal with inside you every moment... heck, B.B. and I were in your _head_. We _saw_ it, helped you fight it, and we still carry on with you like you're just another girl." He gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah, you... said some things you didn't mean. But we're the ones who should be sorry. And I am. I'm sorry, Raven. It'll prob'ly happen again, because... hey, I'm half human. But I know better now, and from now on, I'll make it up to ya."

"Oh, Cyborg..." she wheezed, and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace, pressing a moist cheek against his chestplate. "You already have. But... one thing you're wrong about." She gazed up at him fondly, murmuring, "You may be half human... but you're all heart."

That brought a smile to his face as he stroked her back lightly. "Hey, baby... don't ever think you aren't too, 'cause you are, to all of us."

As he expected, she didn't linger against him for long and pushed away from him, sniffing and wiping her face. "Ohh... come on, let's get this awesome thing hooked up."

"Now you're talkin'," he said to her, beginning to wheel the cartload into her room.

"Oh, one thing," she told him as she went to his side, and he began to suspect something as he caught the unexpected look of mischief in her eye. "You _have_ to play this one video... Superfreak?"

"Oh, you heard-? Wait, how'd you know it was a vid...?" he began, then his voice died to a crushing silence as it struck him _how_ she knew.

She added almost cruelly, "And you _haave_ to jam along with it!"

He dropped to the floor, holding his head, his cheeks red with embarrassment, and began crawling for the open door as a stream of gibberish poured out. "Aww _man_... no... you _saw...?_ Dag _nab it_... Raven, you _evil...!_"

"Oh, come _on_," she insisted, grabbing his arm. "It'll be fun!"

"No! _No way_ am I doin' the karao - _just no!_" He was sure that she cast a spell of weakness on him, because he couldn't seem to pull out of her grasp.

"Hey, you'll be singing along _with_ him."

"Girl, _STOP IT!_" he squealed, causing her to fall on top of him from laughter. But before he left her alone with her beloved stereo, she managed to coax him into a private air-bass duet with Rick James. And he actually enjoyed himself doing it.

* * *

><p>It was a surprisingly quiet meal they sat down to. Beast Boy was late, looking wistful and depressed because he had to leave Angela. Robin and Starfire shared fond if befuddled looks as they ate silently - as fond as his mask would allow, anyway. Raven was typically withdrawn as usual, and that left Cyborg as the only one who seemed to be enjoying himself as he devoured his own buffet-sized meal. He finally noticed the lack of conversation and looked around the table in wonder. Only Raven acknowledged him, but with just a cryptically raised eyebrow and shrug as she fed noodles to her mouth with chopsticks. "Uhh... is there, like... bad news or somethin' that I'm the last to hear?" he asked warily.<p>

Robin and Starfire shared knowing glances as the young leader resignedly worked up the nerve for a confession. "I have something-"

"...Something to propose to the group," Raven said in time with Robin, though the Boy Wonder was more than happy to let her speak first. When he tipped his hand to her, she continued, "I think it's about time that Beast Boy was granted a proper allowance, instead of that trifling pocket change he gets now."

The changeling looked to her in gratitude, and when she had finished, he pumped his fist with an enthusiastic, "_Yes-!_" Then he noticed the stunned looks from the other three and sat up straight, murmuring, "Uhm... interesting suggestion there, Raven."

Starfire broke out in a grand smile. "Why, yes! That is a wonderful..." Her voice faltered as the other two males gave her dubious stares as well. "Uhm... _possibility_..."

Robin turned his attention to the mystic, puzzled over her request. "Raven, just out of curiosity, what made you ask this? Besides, weren't we going to...? You know."

"Oh, Robin, come on," she grumbled, setting her cardboard container down, and gave him a glum look. "That's a pretty sorry birthday present - it's something you give an employee! And yes, I told him. As... _annoying as he can be sometimes_," she muttered in a lowered voice, looking aside, "he's our friend... he's _family_."

The changeling clasped his hands together, gazing at her in veneration, and whispered, "I love this girl..."

"Uhh... that's a nice sentiment and all," Cyborg began hesitantly, "but, ya know, money is power, and... well, this _is Beast Boy_ we're talkin' about here." He jerked his thumb at the miffed looking teen beside him. "What makes you think he can be trusted with some real dough?"

"Hey!" the changeling piped up in his own defense. "I've been a lot more responsible around here lately."

Cyborg seized on the line with a smirk. "Yeah, because when somethin' goes wrong around here, _you're_ responsib-"

"Oh come _on_, Cyborg," he grumbled, "I turn into _dinosaurs_ younger than that joke! Besides, the last few disasters around here weren't my faul..." His voice withered as Starfire looked down sadly, and Raven was clearly hurt by the remark too, poking the chopsticks into her noodles. "Uhm... yeah, just... forget I said anything... I'm sorry," he muttered dismally.

"Eh... it's all right. It's the truth, after all," Raven told him with a thin smile. "But he's right. He hasn't been to blame for anything _major_ for a while. And I know it may not seem like it, but Robin was younger than Beast Boy is now when he formed this team. What's more, it's springtime, and in case you haven't noticed, he's begun _dating_, more or less, and he can't do that on pocket change."

"While that all may be true," Robin said to her, "that money will have to come from the general fund, and we'll need to divide it by one more cut."

"Robin, get real," she countered as Beast Boy looked to her hopefully, drumming his fingertips against each other. "You know how things work now. Invariably, he runs out of what piddling amount we give him, and he goes around begging from everyone, which you have to admit does get old after a while. And he can always count on Starfire to give in to some sob story he concocts." She had to smile as the lad wiggled his eyebrowse to the giggling alien girl. "And then we feel sorry for her, and spend _our_ money to cover hers. I don't see much difference... depending on how much we agree to. Besides, I think we just owe it to him, for all the risks he takes, helping save our lives, and for all the crap we put him through." She added quietly, "_Even though he really does deserve most of it_..."

"I, uhh... guess I deserve that, too," Beast Boy chuckled guiltily, rubbing the back of his head as the others enjoyed a laugh, but then perked up eagerly, hoping to take advantage of their good mood. "So... guys, wha'dya say? If you make it big enough, I could even see about returnin' the favors for all the money I bummed and... well, never payed back. And I _promise_ not to do dumb things like spend it all on lottery tickets."

"You can't gamble anyway," Robin informed him with a grin. "You're still a minor."

He coughed in dismay, muttering, "Darn it, there goes my get-rich-quick scheme..."

As the others laughed and Cyborg tussled his hair, Raven looked around the table, lifting a ceramic teacup to her mouth. "So... what _is_ your decision?" she asked, taking a sip of the green tea.

Beast Boy shriveled under Robin's gaze. Though he was still smiling faintly, that unearthly mask he wore made every expression seem like mortal judgment. "Well... we should settle that among the rest of us in private, but... Raven makes a fairly persuasive argument. I'd say there's a reasonable chance it'll go in your favor."

"Aw-_right!_" he exclaimed, smiling as wide as he ever had. "Thank you thank you _thank you THANK-!_"

"Now don't get carried away," Robin cut in, holding up his hand as if to stop the lad. "And I wouldn't go pricing any luxury scooters if I were you."

"Aww... not even _one little top of the line model?_" Beast Boy squeaked, peering through narrowed thumb and finger. This earned him another round of laughter, though he was clearly joking.

"That's what _saving_ is for," Raven told him advisedly, hoping he took her message to heart in spite of his humor. Picking up her carton once more, she went on, "Now that this matter is pretty much settled, what was it _you_ were going to present to the team?" She fixed Robin in a gaze of her own as she fed another bunch of noodles to her mouth.

"Uhh... _well_..." he began awkwardly, tugging on his collar, and scooted his chair back a few inches as if readying for an escape. He looked to Starfire for strength, support or _something_, but her blush only made him feel more self-conscious. The lingering silence was just making it all the more embarrassing, so he forced out, "Uhhm... as you guys know, Starfire and I have been... growing more _attached_ lately..."

"To say the _least_," Cyborg tossed out as the leader hesitated. "If you two were any _more_ attached, you'd be in the same set of clothes!"

He and the changeling burst out laughing, briefly, until Beast Boy's head was slapped and Cyborg was glared silent by a perturbed Raven. "Don't mind them, Robin. Continue," she said, giving the two troublemakers warning looks.

The young leader's collar felt increasingly snug, and the clumsy start, not to mention his fiance's sheepishness, wasn't filling him with confidence. But he realized that the news he had to share was a lot less embarrassing than the awareness of the others that they were fooling around. "Okay... basically, I'm here to announce that... uhm... I proposed to Starfire." He felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs, and drew a hard breath.

Beast Boy fell out of his chair in shock, and Cyborg's went flying backwards as he jumped to his feet with a food-muffled cry, which he quickly gulped down. "_Dude!_ Seriously? _After just one date?_"

"Like... the real deal? _Marriage?_" the changeling asked incredulously as he climbed back into his seat. "Ball 'n chain, diamond rings and _everything?_"

Robin had to laugh at the off-the-cuff wording, but nodded. "Well... except for the diamond rings part, but-"

"Hold on," Raven interrupted. "The most _important_ question is... did she say _yes?_" She looked to the young couple eagerly, even though she knew the answer.

"Of course I did - he is my little _bumglorf!_" Starfire exclaimed, glowing, as she seized Robin from the floor in an enthusiastic, crushing embrace. A bit too crushing, as the young leader winced in pain, hissing to her, "Starfire... easy, _easy_... still sore from earlier..."

Beast boy blinked at him, murmuring, "I'm not _even_ gonna ask..."

As she set him down with an appology, he suffered all over again as Cyborg grabbed him up in a bearhug of his own. "Aww, man... _dude!_ I can't believe... my Boy Wonder's gett'n _marrie-?_" He had to relinquish his hold too, as Robin groaned out, "Cyborg... metal... _pain_..."

"Uhh... sorry, Rob... guess I got a little carried away," he chuckled with a sheepish grin as his friend straightened up with several cracking sounds. "But... hey, it's not every day we get news like this! I wondered why there was a distinct lack o' hair gel around here lately. So, when's the big day!"

"As soon as-!" Starfire began enthusiastically, at first.

"...We're prepared for it," Robin said over her, looking to her advisedly. "I want to make certain the world remains stable and relatively crime free for a decent length of time. If so, I think by the end of April." He didn't have to look, able to feel his fiancé wilting with disappointment, knowing she wanted to be joined as soon as possible. He added as he reached for her hand, "I want to know that the world is in one piece when we get married, so I can have some time alone with Starfire, uninterrupted."

"I suppose... that is the wisest decision... and is very considerate of you," she said in a quiet tone as she took his hand, squeezing it softly as she smiled up at him. Still, he could see that it was bittersweet.

"Uhh... don'cha think that's askin' a bit much?" Cyborg suggested, catching Starfire's mood himself. "Spring has sprung... we're in crime season already. It ain't gonna be too long before we have to deal with the usual laundry list of bad guys. Shouldn't you take advantage of the quiet while it's here?"

"Cyborg is right," Raven agreed, coming around the table to stand beside Starfire. "Who knows how long this time of relative calm will last? You should consider it."

"Not that we're bein' pushy or anything," he added with a grin, waving as Robin gave him a dour look. "It's just that... well... you two gett'n hitched and all, _this is so cool!_" His voice rose to a near squeal, and he did a little happy dance.

"And I thought the _girls_ were supposed to be the ones who got so crazy over weddings," Raven muttered with a smirk, and Cyborg had to suffer a laugh at his expense this round.

"Yeah, I s'pose I am," he admitted, "but I guess it's 'cause we're family. And.. ya know, we've been watchin' you two dance around each other for way too long. Well, Robin anyhow. I think it's way past time for you to stop yankin' your poor _girlfriend_ around." He leaned on the young leader, who pushed him off with a good natured protest.

"Hey, there's _one more_ important question to ask," Beast Boy cut in, and everyone looked to him dubiously. "Is there gonna be like... any weird Tamaranian Bagpipes of Doom or ceremonial deathmatches with your friends or anything?" He acted out his second point with dramatic otaku ninja poses.

"Beast Boy..." Raven grumbled irritably, slapping her hand down on his head, "you were _present_ during one Tamaranian marriage ceremony, _remember?_"

"Oh! Yeah..." he faltered sheepishly. "Guess I confused a couple details in all the excitement, but it _has_ been a few years, ya know."

"It only takes you a few _minutes_ to get your facts all mixed up," she reminded him as the others laughed, then looked to Starfire dimly. "But if you're going to be playing any Glorka pipes, I'm putting up a sonic barrier around us."

The alien girl giggled a bit self consciously as the others peered at her in agreement, but shook her head. "No... I will be quite content with a simple Terran wedding."

"Hey..." Raven said to her, tapping her chin," and I know a minister who would be a fine choice for performing the ceremony."

"_You...?_" Robin and Cyborg began, pointing to her in shock. Then, it occurred to the others _what kind_ of minister she could be referring to, and shrank away in trepidation.

She groaned back in dismay. "Oh for pity's sake... he's not a Satanist or anything! He's a _Christian_, and an old friend."

They all gaped at her even more this time, and joined in with finger pointing, exclaiming, "_You...?_"

"_Quit saying that!_" she cried, folding her arms at them in a huff. "Good grief, you guys can spoil a mood..."

"Eh... she's right," Cyborg said to her, putting his hand on her shoulder and raising his fist with the other. "This should be a _par-teh!_ And man, you should'a said somethin' earlier. We could've had a _real_ celebration And hey, finally got a reason to dig out the disco ball!"

"_Uhh..._" Robin held up his hand, looking less than enthusiastic about the idea, but not wanting to hurt his feelings. "Why don't we... _not_..."

"Aww, come on, _man_..." he pleaded, lacing his fingers together with tiny klinks. "Just a _li'l glitter ball?_"

Robin looked to Starfire, and both began to chuckle. "Ehh... okay, I guess this is a rare occasion, after all."

"Aw-_RIGHT!_" he yelled, bowling them all over with his outcry. "Now, why don't we put this stuff in the fridge for later, and order up somethin' a little more festive!"

Starfire offered to get it, but Raven waved her off. "Don't be silly, this celebration is for you. I'll handle it, and I know a few good caterers that can arrange a savory veggie tray as well as a carnivorous feast."

"Now yer talkin'!" Cyborg said, fetching his wallet from a hip compartment. "I'll throw in seventy-five or so, since I'm likely to eat most of it."

As she accepted his money, she looked over in surprise as Beast Boy held out his hand to her as well, giving her what money he had with a lopsided grin. "Hey, I know this isn't gonna do much more 'n cover the hankies, but it's all I got, and I wanna give what I can for Rob 'n Star."

"Why, Beast Boy... how sweet," she murmured with a smile.

Robin and Starfire both began blushing as the other three turned their attention to the young couple, gazing at them with affection. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, murmuring, "Guys... I appreciate everything, but... we're not going anywhere - nothing will change-"

"Oh yes it will," Cyborg interrupted with a smile. "Your life's gonna change like you never expected... heck, it already has. But when you put that ring on her finger, you're gonna see the world – and Star – in a whole new way."

"Wow... you guys..." Robin murmured, shaking his friend's offered hand, as Beast Boy gave his other arm a bump.

"Hey, we just wanna let ya know how glad we are for you 'n Starfire... and how much both of you mean to us," he said quietly to the young leader. Robin couldn't respond, save to return his friend's smile and give a gentle bump of fist over the changeling's heart.

The lad backed away to make room for Raven, who drew close to the young leader, looking to him with shining violet eyes. "Congratulations... both of you," she said to him in a soft voice, then surprised him with an embrace. As she drew back, blushing and embarrassed, she murmured, "I know I'm not the huggy type, but... you mean the world to me."

"I know," he replied quietly, "and we feel the same way about you."

She mentally chastized herself as she dared to wonder if he was closing a special door to her in that reply, and lingered for a moment before practically falling into the Tamaranian's arms. "Oh, Starfire..." she whimpered with a sniff, then chuckled self consciously as she pushed herself away. "Uhmm... excuse me, I'm just... so happy for you in this special time, both of you, and I pray that you have a long, happy lifetime together."

Tears welled up in Starfire's own vivid green eyes as she murmured, "Raven... thank you." Before the mystic could escape, she found herself snatched up in another warm, initially uncomfortable embrace, but fortunately the alien eased her grip. She whispered as she clutched the bewildered girl, "Aside from Robin... you have been my dearest friend... and I am forever grateful for the blessing."

She heaved an emotional sigh as she caressed the alien princess back, feeling an inside-out happiness tinged with jealousy over their upcoming bonding, and wished that she could have things work so easily for her just once... just _once_. Abruptly, she shoved the surprised alien away, mumbling, "Uhm... sorry, but... I really should be going, and you should put the food away before _Cyborg_ puts it away in his stomach."

He looked up as everyone began laughing at him. "Hey, come on now! I'm not a food vacuum or anything! Though I could use a little more moo goo while it's out..."

Beast Boy slapped him on the shoulder with a grin. "You _sure that seventy-five_ is gonna be enough, Cy-dude?" They began laughing again as he shrugged, drawing out his wallet.

"Anyway... I'll be back soon," Raven said to them, giving Robin a thin smile, then vanished in a flair of darkness. He grew somber for a moment as a single tear dropped to the floor where she had been standing.

* * *

><p>Raven was quite relieved that she was still good at hiding her feelings, because there was a melancholy cloud over her the whole time. She was readily welcomed into their festivities, of course, and it helped to lift her mood, even though there was a lingering pit in her stomach. There was one sure fire thing she could do to put herself in good spirits, and though she felt a little guilty over it, she decided to give it a shot. While rainbow beams danced over the room from the disco ball, the girl sauntered over to Cyborg as he continued with his usual feeding frenzy, and said to him over the music, "Hey... Cyborg." When he <em>hmmed <em>through a mouthful in reply, she said back, "Uhm... listen, since this is such a _special_ occasion, I was _wonnndering_ if you might do me a small favor. It would really cap off the party..."

"M-hmm?" he hummed back, looking mildly interested as he engulfed a barbecue chicken leg, slathered with his special homemade sauce.

Presenting her best innocent facade, she said, "What would be _reeeally coooool_ is... if you did your Superfreak karaoke!"

He nearly choked, then nearly spat out a mouthful of chewed up chicken, and just managed to get it down as his face grew as red as she'd ever seen it. "Girl... _I thought you promised to never bring that up!_"

She smirked to him mischievously with arms folded; as she expected, he couldn't restrain his emotions. "I _did_... not to bring it up to _them_."

"Bring what up?" Robin asked, the others crowding in to catch what had the cybernaut so outspoken.

"_Nuthin'!_ Nuthin'! I - you see - that is - uhmm..." he sputtered out self consciously, then glared to the smiling mystic as the others sensed a tantalizing revelation forthcoming. "Dang it, girl, did I ever tell you _how evil you are?_"

"Every so often," she confessed, still smiling, then tugged on his arm. "Oh, come _on._ There's no reason to be so embarrassed over it. You're a better performer than you give yourself credit for, and I managed to find some karaoke editing software that will generate extra voices in harmony with yours during choruses. And I know you can ad lib something suitable to the occasion."

As he stumbled through a response, his face somehow growing redder still, Beast Boy said over him, "_Ooooh_... I smell a Cy-bass performance comin' up!"

"_How the hell'd you know that!_" he squeaked, but before he could ponder the implications, the others crowded him and began pestering him to do it. As he still protested, if half heartedly, Beast Boy began shouting, "Cy-borg! Cy-borg! _Cy-borg!_" The others joined him in a building chorus, and the young man found himself backed into an emotional corner with only one way out.

Irritated at first, he couldn't stay mad at his friends, and began laughing as he waved them off. "Okay okay _okay!_ Just... let me get set up for this... epic humiliation, awright? Rave, go load it up on the main console, if you got it handy."

"Uhm... I already did," she admitted with a guilty little smile.

"You _what?_" he cried. He then leaned into her threateningly, his eye glowing red as he stroked his finger along her nose, grumbling, "You are _seriously_ lucky this is a combo stag-doe party."

"I know," she said to him, clasping her hand over his massive metallic one. "But... they will love it, and you'll enjoy yourself. Trust me on this."

"Well... okay, since you give me a Raven guarantee on that, how can I refuse?" He gave her a lopsided smile, then said to everyone, "Anyhow, y'all back off so I can work up somethin' appropriate to the occasion, here."

Raven showed him how to open up the lyric file, then joined the others on the sofa as he began pondering lines, typing them in. Fortunately it didn't take that long, though Beast Boy let him know amidst laughter from the other three that the crowd was growing restless. "Don't get up for nachos, Bee!" he shouted back. "Almost got it down."

Before his words had echoed to silence, the background music died and the lights went out, with only the rose color from the sunset afterglow coming through the immense windows for illumination. And then as they all hushed expectantly, the big screen came to life with the Rick James video and his iconic bass line playing loudly. And with it, a spotlight aimed on Cyborg's gleaming armor as he strutted dramatically to the music, a microphone providing the focus of an imaginary bass guitar in his hands which he played with a flourish. He began singing, glancing at his arm display for a lyric feed. And before they knew it, they all fought to keep from laughing themselves onto the floor, even though some of the lines were a bit colorful.

_She's a cute a-li-en girl  
><em>_As strong as she is saxxeh! Ouch!  
><em>_She will never let your spirits down... 'cause  
><em>_She can fly you high above the clouds!_

_She likes the studly Boy Wonder!  
><em>_She says that he's her all time fav'rite!  
><em>_Her kisses drive him up the wall with passion  
><em>_Can't keep their hands from each other, ow naow!_

_That girl is pretty wild now!  
><em>_The girl's a Super Freak  
><em>_The kind of girl you read about  
><em>_In hero magazines  
><em>_That girl is uncontrollable!  
><em>_She'll turn the other cheek  
><em>_But only for her Robin!  
><em>_And smack you if you peek!_

_She's all right!  
><em>_She can fight!  
><em>_THAT GIRL WANTS ALL NIGHT!  
><em>_With Bird Boy! Ain't I right? Heh-heh-HEY!_

_She's a Superfreak! Superfreak! She's super-freak-eh!  
><em>_Yeow! Everybody sing!  
><em>_She's a Superfreak! Superfreak! The girl's a Superfreak!  
><em>_Rob-man, take the mike!_

He cried out in shock as Cyborg thrust it in his face, waving him off frantically in spite of the others pestering him to sing. Cyborg could see it was a lost cause and pulled a shocked Starfire up to join him instead before the video got ahead of him. "But... I do not know what to-" she began.

"Just dance kinda like those girls in the video," he told her, and she began uncertainly at first as Cyborg strutted in time to the beat around her, but then with more verve as she found she was enjoying herself. At the end of the first measure, Cyborg pointed to her face, saying advisedly, "Can't touch this."

She giggled as the next measure played, and he pointed to her tummy. "Can't touch this."

As they all began laughing, he indicated her rump. "Can't touch this."

And that was all they could take, rolling against each other as Starfire collapsed to the floor, all of them laughing themselves to tears while the video played itself out. As they recovered, there was a squeal of rapidly backward-playing music as Cyborg swept the position pointer to the beginning. "Awright... _AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION TIME!_" he bellowed with a grin as an idle loop of the song began to play.

"Yes! Do join in!" Starfire shouted enthusiastically, reaching for Beast Boy and Robin both, and pulled them from the couch.

As Robin protested again, feebly, since Starfire had hold of him, the changeling egged him on. "Aww, come on, dude. It's just for fun... no one can sing any worse than I do!" And then he noticed Raven sitting there, looking smug, and reached for her as well, saying, "Hey, no hold outs!"

"Oh _no_," she said insistantly, "I don't do karaoke – _NO!_"

But Cyborg had her other hand, and told her meaningfully as he pulled her to her feet, "Get up, Ray! You owe me one for doin' this _twice_, now!" Then his expression grew more kindly, and he gave her an inviting smile. "Besides, B.B.'s right. It's just for fun, and tonight, no one has any more or less talent than anyone else. So come on, girl. Get up here and make a fool of yourself with the rest of us. You'll have a blast. Trust me!" He gave her a toothy grin which spread almost ear to ear as the others urged her to join them.

"Well... as long as it has the Cyborg guarantee..." she muttered reluctantly, and somehow managed to restrain herself from vanishing. Then, before she knew it, she was singing and dancing to the video with the others, in her own way, making a fool of herself and enjoying every moment of it. For the first time in a _long_ time, she felt truly happy.

After a few more karakoes for the sheer heck of it, which Raven adamantly did _not_ solo, they decided to watch some movies. They squabbled over which one to watch first, until Starfire recommended a turn of the Millennium film, Serendipity, a romantic comedy starring a younger John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale. She played the preview trailer, and the charm of the premise won them over. With huge bowls of seasoned popcorn and other snacks laid out, they settled in to watch.

It was a delightful movie, whether with a loved one or not, and the team were caught up in the amusing if frustrating ordeal of the two characters' plight. Encountering each other as they fought good naturedly over a pair of gloves for a Christmas present, they became attracted to each other, in spite of being involved in relationships at the time, as they debated matters of destiny and romance over coffee. Then began their true ordeal as they became separated for years and tried to find each other once more, sensing that they needed to resolve matters between them, through an amusing gauntlet that had them both engaged to marry someone else, and with only a name and number in a book for him, and on a five dollar bill for her, to guide them.

When the pair finally rediscovered each other at the end, when they had both nearly given up hope, only Raven and Robin remained dry-eyed, at least as far as anyone knew, as Starfire clung to him, snuffling happily. Even the normally stoic Raven was mooning over them as she forgot to stifle her emotions, holding hands with Beast Boy as he croaked, "Oh, maan... that is _so cool_."

When she realized what she was doing, she snatched her hand back with a blush, muttering, "Uhm... yeah, that was... nice..."

Somehow, Cyborg managed to restrain himself from poking fun at them, wiping his eye with a grin as the credits began to roll and lights came up. "Yeah, that _was_ nice, Starfire. Thanks for sharin' that. But... now what do we do for an encore? Action? Horror? _That_ would sure make the girls grab onto a nearby fella!" As he thought about it, though, only one of the _Wicked Scary_ movies would accomplish that with Raven.

The mystic had been waiting for an opening like that, and she couldn't have planned it any better. Pulling a plastic case from between two cusions, she rose to her feet, saying tentatively, "Uhm... guys? I was kind of thinking of watching... this." She held out the DVD case of _The Crow_ for everyone to see, poised between her fingers, looking to them expectantly.

At first they gaped at it in disbelief, then to her chagrin, they burst out laughing. Beast Boy recovered first, coughing out, "That... that's a good one, Raven... _The Crow!_ You're... _you're not laughing_..." He quickly clammed up when he realized that she was staring at them in chastizement, and all began fidgeting uncertainly.

Robin spoke up first. "I don't get it. I thought you hated that series, and we don't care for it much more than you do."

"I know, but... _this_ one, the first one, is different," she assured them, facing Cyborg. "It has a ton of action and intrigue, and bad guys getting their just reward with extreme prejeudice. It has the son of your _guy crush_," she informed Robin, who initially grinned from embarrassment. "Brandon Lee, with his trademark martial arts skills on display. And there is romance and humor," she said to Starfire and Beast Boy, though she added under her breath quickly, "_even though it's very dark and probably hardly there at all_." She added quickly, "Besides, I hardly ever make requests, usually deferring to the group, and I've been wanting to watch this with you all week. So?" She stared at them, her hand on her hip, the other holding the case, as if daring them to object.

There was a cacaphony of barely intelligible agreement from them, which brought a smile to her lips. "Good... thanks, guys," she told them gratefully as she loaded _The Crow_ in the media player, practically jumping onto the couch beside Beast Boy as the lights automatically dimmed, squirming with anticipation.

No one had any idea what they were in for, not even Raven. In contrast to the lighthearted, colorful world painted by _Serendipity_, this movie was just dreadful, opening onto a world thrown into hell, as Devil's Night erupted around the city in flames, chaos and evil, and it went downhill from there. It was filled with a population of scarred, bitter lives, and crooks who were little more than drug addicted savages. The two redeeming souls in this horrid world were Eric Draven and his fiancé Shelly Webster, and the movie wasted no time cruelly extinguishing their lives, beginning with Eric lying dead on the street below their apartment, while Shelly clung desperately to a tenuous thread of life, one which was quickly fraying away. As the police looked over the scene afterwards, when the camera showed a close-up of their wedding announcement for Halloween Eve, the mystic gasped sharply as she realized that the word "raven" made up most of Eric's last name. The revelation pierced her heart like an arrow.

The others wondered if perhaps Raven was joking, that at some point she would burst out laughing, pointing at them as having been had in a rare moment of _very_ dark humor by the mystic, and she would set them free from this menace which seemed to glare down at them threateningly. But her eyes were fixed intently on the big screen as if afraid to look away, her leg bouncing from growing anxiety. They were unable to bring themselves to say anything as the movie wore on, even as it clearly upset her.

Somehow it grew worse, and they watched as Eric push his way from his own grave, summoned by a black winged avatar, and he lay in the rainsoaked mud of the graveyard, screaming in confusion and terror at his abrupt resurrection; as the reprobate goons who killed him celebrated a string of violent crimes with drugs, liquor and threats to women laced with foul obscenities. The bewildered young Eric made his way to the abandoned wreck of his home, struggling out of his burial clothes, and relived the terrible, agonizing moments of his death there, which was portrayed with violent, brutal, graphic imagery.

She fell in love with the couple, and even knowing that they were going to die, she couldn't prepare herself for the horrible torture these poor souls were going to endure. "Oh my god..." she moaned, a tear running down her cheek when the group of thugs broke into Eric's apartment, and it hurt her deeply to watch as Shelly was brutally raped by the four monsters, and had to suffer alone. Then, when Eric stumbled onto the scene and was ambushed, stabbed and left to lie on the floor in agony as they continued to ravage his beloved fiancé, and worst of all, knowing how they were both suffering just a few feet away from each other, and unable to do anything to stop the horror. They all gasped as the fiends shot Eric, execution style, then tossed him through the ornate window overlooking the dark raindrenched street below, his face bearing an expression of agony and eternal sorrow as he fell, surrounded with a halo of tear-like raindrops and tumbling shards of glass.

It was no relief to watch as the dreadful visions ended, and he threw himself on the relic of Shelly's small vanity, dabbing his dead fiance's makeup on his face to hide his identity with garish white, his eyes and lips lined with ebony paste, then rummaged up dingy black clothes of his to wear. And then the crow, the black-winged avatar which raised him, set him off on a quest to avenge himself and the bride which fate stole from him so cruelly.

The movie wore on relentlessly, as Eric in the horrifying guise of the Crow brutally slaughtered his way through the reprobate monsters who had murdered them both without mercy. It may not have been quite as bad as _Wicked Scary_ for them, but emotionally, it was even more devastating, and they pushed themselves deeper into the sofa, as if a few more inches would make them that much safer.

At last, Eric arrived at the hideout of the gang's ringleader during a meeting, and the one who ordered their killing. Three of the original four who committed the terrible act were dead, leaving an almost incoherent drug casualty named Skank, and Eric demanded they hand him over as he stood brazenly on a long table lined with armed gangsters. The unnamed leader refused to hand over his terrified underling, and instead, ordered everyone to open fire and kill the wraith which had vexed them. They took his command way too literally, unloading pistols, shotguns and automatic weapons into the man's body, who staggered backwards, shaking from the impact of countless bullets, but somehow refused to drop.

The Titans flinched away in alarm as a bowl of popcorn went flying, and watched with horror as Raven jerked in a spasm of agony, an outcry dying on her lips, and floundered on the couch in the grip of some kind of seizure. A bullet had pierced her belly and struck her spine. The pain was unbearable, and her mind reeled at the terrible awareness that she was going to die.

As the others crowded around her, frantic to know what was wrong, she realized what it was, her heart twisting in anguish. It was the last moments of Brandon's life; he had been shot by accident, his pain and fear captured in the film, and she was reliving his last moments as he clung desperately to life. "Oh my god," she groaned, "he died... _he really died?_ And they released this _anyway? Those damned fools!_"

She gave a bloodchilling scream, and the others jumped behind the couch for protection as blackness flared threateningly around her, dark bolts of energy striking out at the area. One hit the media player, and it spat the disc out like a sawblade from a wrecked cutter, slicing its way to the back of the couch, close to where Starfire had been sitting. Then with a gut-jarring thunderclap, Raven vanished with the darkness, a dreadful acrid stink tainting the air.

As the others quivered behind the couch in the ominous silence that followed, Cyborg managed to find his voice first. "What the _hell was THAT all about!_"

"I don't know for sure," Robin answered as he climbed over the back to dig out the DVD buried in the sofa. "Maybe it just got to be too much for her in her current state. But... she did mention that he die-" The others jumped as he cried out, snatching his hand from the slice in the couch's back. The disc flew out with it to land on the table among the debris, pieces having broken out from the impact, and made a sizzling noise as black vapors rose from it. As everyone gaped at it in fear, the Boy Wonder remarked, "Uhm... I didn't want to see the rest of it anyway."

Cyborg asked timidly, "Does... anyone else feel like rent'n a hotel room for the night?"

"I say we call an exorcist," Beast Boy muttered.

"Guys... come on," Robin sighed, practically moaning from perplexion, as he had no idea what to make of this either. "We really should check on her. Starfire-"

She had already started for the exit. "I will see if she is in her room, and tend to her."

"Let us know if she's not there," Robin advised her. "If so, we should go looking for her. I know she's a loner who keeps everything to herself, but she probably needs to know how much we all care for her right now."

"She knows," the Tamaranian said to them, flashing a thin smile before leaving the chamber.

Robin held up his hand without looking as the others began to follow, ordering them, "_No eavesdropping_. Not this time." He gazed at the closing doors somberly. "There has been enough trouble lately as it is."

Raven curled up on her bed in the dark, utterly devastated, as her tears began soaking the blanket. It felt as if the weight of the entire universe was crushing her, a burden of misfortune, pain, guilt and anguish from countless lives as they endured a harsh existence, all crashing down on her soul at once. The awareness made her own agony that much more wretched. "Why... _why?_" she sobbed bitterly. "_Why_... do we have to suffer? Why does life have to be like this! _So much... pain_..."

She flinched at a knock from her door, not wanting to be with anyone, until the timid sound of Starfire's voice reached her ears. "Uhm... Raven? Please, let me-"

The Tamaranian blinked in surprise as the door slid open and Raven threw herself into the girl, bawling miserably, and grabbed her in a desperate hug. She could barely talk, blubbering out the girl's name as she wrapped her arms around the wretched mystic. Her strength seemed to fail her, and she melted against Starfire as the alien girl gathered her in her arms, carrying her to her bed, laying her down on it gently. She said nothing, clasping Raven's hand and stroking her cheeks as the tears flowed, gazing at her in sympathy as she waited for the pain to ease on its own. It took some time, but finally the tears dwindled, and the stricken girl's eyes opened. "I'm sorry, Starfire," she croaked. "I ruined everything... I'm such an utter mess..."

"Do not worry about it," she told Raven with a smile. "It is obvious you had no idea what the film was like, and Beast Boy has certainly disrupted more movie nights with the choices he made." Raven tried to chuckle but it came out more like a cough, and fell into a miserable silence once more. She couldn't bring herself to speak for a while, and Starfire had to gently coax it out of her. "What troubles you so? Tell me, if you can. Has... one of your other books begun speaking to you?"

"No," Raven chuckled morosely, seeming to deflate before the girl's eyes, and it took her a few more moments to gather the strength to reply. "It was... an accident... in the making of the movie. Somehow... a real bullet ended up in a gun, and some poor slob shot Brandon Lee." As Starfire gasped in horror, Raven had to close her eyes, gritting her teeth as the tears flowed anew. "It... was terrible. Somehow, his pain was caught in the filming, and... I could feel it... all of it. Just like Eric. He had to die knowing that... he was leaving behind a wife... children..."

Starfire was close to tears herself, aching with sympathy as she stroked the miserable girl's cheek. "Raven... I am very sorry. But, please... put it out of your mind-"

"_How!_" she exclaimed, grabbing her startled friend's hand and pushing herself up. "I can't just decide to forget something so horrible that just happened! He was a beautiful man, so good... why! _Why_, Starfire? Why did he have to die? Why does life have to be so cruel!" She fell back down with a sob.

Starfire heaved a sigh as she gazed at the wretched mystic, wishing she had something meaningful to offer. While she pondered the matter, she urged the girl to sit up, propping the bed pillows behind her for support, then took her hand again. "You ask questions which have baffled the wisest philosophers of the universe for ages. I am just a simple girl... I cannot hope to answer you. It is true that terrible misfortunes befall everyone, and we all must perish someday. But... I believe that things happen for a reason; that life is not simply a mess of random events, but has meaning and a guiding force behind it. On Tamaran, we call him Xhäl, or here, Providence or God. And for the most part, life is pleasant and enjoyable for everyone, is it not?" She gave her friend a hopeful smile.

Raven couldn't bring herself to return it, her lips twisting into a doubtful smirk. "It's funny... I was thinking very similar thoughts this afternoon. But Starfire... I just can't have the optimistic faith that you do. I understand things too well to take comfort from some vague philosophical, theological... god, gods, whatever. I thought I was halfway wise, that I understood so many things, but... nothing makes sense anymore. Our existence is so full of trouble, this world... it's in such precarious balance. So many beings, all through the universe... lives plagued with pain and bad luck... whoever is in control evidently doesn't care very much for their creation. Yes, people die every day... some from violent murders like Eric and Shelly. So what happens? Does someone decent like Brandon Lee get a second chance at life, a good man? No. Instead, some evil bastard does... _Slade!_ Of all people! Where is the justice in that!"

The light in Starfire's eyes faded, and she looked down in perplexion. "Raven... you are right, you are much too wise. Your questions are too troubling, and difficult to answer in any way that will satisfy anyone. But... I have to believe that even a man as wicked as Slade, given such an invaluable chance at life again, has to have come about for some reason we do not yet know. Providence-"

"_Providence_," Raven growled mockingly. "Starfire... I have to admire your childlike faith, but this is... bullcrap, what we have to endure! _Providence_ damn well needs to come down here and live in this damned world he made, and learn firsthand what it's like to suffer!" The Tamaranian gasped at her rather blasphemous outrage, spoken in the heat of the moment, but she went on bitterly before Starfire could respond. "Look at me... I nearly brought about the destruction of the universe! It's all too discouraging to think about, anymore..."

Starfire gave her friend's hand a squeeze, saying to her gently, "But Raven... while that _is true_, you saved the world as well. No one else could have overcome your demon father. I believe that you came to be, as you are, for a reason also. And while you _were_ the key to bringing Trigon to this universe, you were likewise the one who brought about his undoing. The Infinite One, Providence, or what have you, surely created you as you are, a very special being, so that it was impossible for your father to prevail. I believe you were created for this very reason, in order to save everyone from a terrible fate, and not just that one." She caressed the girl's cheek tenderly with a smile. "Besides, you have four very precious friends here who would do anything for you. And other than the man I love, I have no greater friend in all the universe."

Raven gazed at her in near veneration as tears welled up in her eyes once more, but this time from relief. She squeezed the Tamaranian's hand back tight, grumbling brokenly, "Starfire... don't ever think you're just a simple girl... that couldn't be further from the truth. Somehow, you always have something comforting to say... in words so simple, yet profound. It doesn't make the world any better, but... god knows I need something to cling to right now." She grabbed the Tamaranian in a fierce hug, whimpering as she lay her head on the girl's shoulder, "Thank you... for being my friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. Just... hold me for a while, please... and let me cry. It'll make me feel better..."

"Of course," she murmured, cradling the girl against her, and stroked her blue-violet hair softly as she wept. She continued to embrace the mystic until sleep finally ended her torment, and lay her down gently, drawing the blanket across her.

Robin was alone outside the room, waiting as Starfire emerged from it and discreetly closed the door. "How is she?" he asked quietly as the girl came to stand before him.

"She is... resting," Starfire replied a bit hesitantly, but gave him a smile. "While she was quite troubled, I was able to bring her some measure of comfort. She is sleeping now, and after a night's rest, I believe she will be fine. She is a very strong girl."

"I know she is, but..." He shrugged, shaking his head in concern. "I've never seen her so... fragile. It's a lot like the state she was in a couple of years ago, before she was forced to open the gate for Trigon. But in some ways, this seems even worse. I think we should spend as much time with her as we can this week, as much as she'll let us, anyway, especially you. Maybe you could get her to open up about what's really troubling her."

"I agree with you, we should. And... Robin?" He looked up sharply as she moved intimately close to him. Her eyes were shining, her voice subdued and sensuous, a tangible hunger welling up from her form. He could feel it plainly in her touch, as she took his hand, lacing her fingers between his, and he had trouble breathing for a moment. "I wish... to spend time with you... tonight. All through the night."

He licked his lips as his stomach turned to jelly, and he felt wobbly for a second. He had worried that things would come to this, and hadn't been able to think of anything to dissuade his fiancé... but then, did he really want to? In spite of the typical male in him who wanted this, another part clung to the honor of their pending marriage, and he scrambled for something to say. "Starfire... listen, I'm not sure how your people... do things on Tamaran, but... I have problems... just sleeping with..."

"Robin..." she interrupted gently as he faltered, her voice soft and sultry, the caress of her hand delicious, the gaze of her emerald eyes hypnotic. "I... know that you have been keeping yourself from me... ultimately because of your traditions here... and not because you do not desire me, which... is obvious." He blushed a deep red as she couldn't help but giggle at his reaction. "Uhm... I respect you greatly for this... as much as I might wish otherwise. I want simply... to be near to you, to... feel your closeness, your warmth... I am your promised one, after all, and... it is difficult to remain apart from you... the one who owns my heart..."

As her voice drifted to silence, her eyes said much more to him than words ever could, and he knew better than to deny his own feelings as their hands caressed each other at the same moment, their bodies drawing close, and touching, their arms snaking around each other. "Uhmm, Starfire... I just... can't..." He was going to say _I just can't say no_, but before he realized it, her lips had sealed themselves to his, and it was obvious to both of them that a shared choice had been settled as they made their way, if a bit clumsily, to his room.

Cyborg and Beast Boy emerged from around a corner, blinking, fidgeting and coughing, the older man saying awkwardly, "We... uhm... didn't see that-"

"Not a thing," his friend confirmed, and they marched off smartly for their rooms.

* * *

><p>He sat at his desk in the office, inserting a data card into a slot in his computer keyboard, and began to navigate through forbidden portals in the system. Then, to open windows which invaded other secure networks, with portentious names. <em>IBM. Texas Instruments. Lockheed. Jet Propulsion Laboratories. Fermi-Lab. NASA. S.T.A.R. Labs<em>._ Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. U.S. Department of Defense - Strategic Aerospace Command._

It was very late, but he needed these hours for the obvious privacy he required, and as the company which employed him was also a defense contractor, their internet superpaths ran to every significant agency, laboratory and manufacturer he needed access to. He also had some very potent spyware, and began to deploy his malicious applications in strategic network nodes and servers.

He fished for administrator level passwords in restricted access networks. Studied inter-agency traffic and sifted through server histories for important keywords and phrases. Sought out significant local computer networks dealing with very specific projects, and measured traffic going to other locations for further crucial systems to target. Opened incognito gateways in well defended networks, creating innocuous but high access accounts, and fabricated elaborate digital histories and virtual paper trails to make them appear valid, as if they had been used for months or years.

He had already established virtual footholds of classified alias accounts in strategic networks; high-tech universities, cutting edge chip manufacturers, defense contractors, aerospace companies, government agencies and think-tanks, even astronomy labs. His overall goal spanned dozens of organizations, some of which had dubious connections unless one knew what the subject was, and most were more or less on the schedule he needed them to be.

He peeked in on a number of email accounts, and found a few hitches that needed tending to. A subsystem control module design he had requested was locking up. He had run into a similar problem in his own work, and suggested they try a tiny bypass capacitor across clock-chip pins to smooth down voltage spikes.

Another inquired about the kinds of materials to use for a very precise energy detector that wasn't working. The engineer also wasn't sure about the type of energy signature he was trying to simulate, as it didn't relate to any energy emission he was aware of. The man explained, lying, that the project was related to crucial research into a possible Nobel Prize-winning project, and so the exact nature of it, he couldn't reveal. After poking around in a few particle physics project files at Fermi-Lab, he came across just what he was looking for, and told the engineer to try substituting a one micron thick layer of polonium for the silver they had been using on the surface of the detector.

"There... and hurry it up!" he grumbled. "I vill be needing these items within a veek! Damn people these days, either savants or dunderheads. Hell, I should have jost blackmailed Jacob Barnett..."

He opened a chat application and ran a proprietary piece of software which encrypted online audio-video streams. In the screen, a thick-framed man appeared, perhaps of Middle-Eastern descent, with gray streaking his shaggy black hair and moustache. He looked up, his expression clouding with disgust. "Jou!" he spat out in an even thicker accent. "Vwat the hal do you vwant, _comrade?_ And horry op, I vwas about to go to the crappor."

"Your _fun_ vill have to wait a minute," the man replied with a smirk. "Vwat is the status of production?"

"Begh... it's bed enough I hafe the ministry chewing on my neck vithout you on my jugular too," the other snarled. "You're going to gat me keeled for this, zhou know."

"If you veren't a careful man, or hongry for money, you wouldn't be head of this project. But keep vwasting time on these communications and we both vill," he grumbled. "Now, vwat is the statos!"

The man sat back, glaring at his screen with an angry puff of breath. "There are problems. Vwe only have half the amount expected. But this junkyard garbage I hafe to vowk vith is forty years old. Efficiency is poor, and vorse, it's dangeous jost to operate some of it."

His brows furrowed. "Have you explained to the officials?"

"They vwon't listen, they jost vwant results, like typical tyrants." He leaned closer, grumbling, "Vwat are you thinking anyvay? You can't jost shoplift this stoff, even in a democracy-"

"That is not your problem," he cut in sharply. "Yours is to get results, remember? Make love to those centrifuges if you have to, but get that mass count op. Now, go have fun in your _crappor_ and get back to vork."

The man's lips curled into a malicious grin. "I vill be thinking of you as I drop my drawers-"

He slapped the keyboard, closing off the link, and muttered a curse over the man's ability to sire children. He didn't have the luxury of time to mope, he knew, and forced himself back to his computer. Opening an encrypted file with a CAD program, he returned to designing a sphere dotted with precise patterns of triggers, with components he didn't yet have. "If this blows op in my face," he muttered, "I am afraid that Hitler, Mao and Stalin are going to have to make room for me in Hell..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's notes<strong>_

**Azarath, Metrion, Zynthos:** as far as I know, there is no translation of Raven's mantra in the DC universe. If you other writers decide to use mine, at least give proper credit.

**Brandon Lee:** son of Bruce Lee, and likewise an actor specializing in action and martial arts. Unfortunately, he did indeed die during the making of his last film, _The Crow,_ in an accident involving a bullet slug lodged in a pistol barrel. Because of the rush to get the last scenes filmed, weapons checking was apparently slack, and a blank round (no slug) blasted out the bullet lodged in the barrel, causing a fatal wound. Rather than being shot in the climactic scene I describe in the story, this apparently occurred in the filming of his murder in the apartment. Whether or not this is what happened in the Titan's universe, I leave it to the reader to decide.

His widow was supportive of the film being finished, and some clever digital editing was done to use some footage of Brandon for needed scenes, as well as his body doubles. This was a rather difficult part for me to write, as I'm a big fan of Brandon's, as well as his father, Bruce Lee.

**CERN:** a particle physics research facility in Switzerland, and home to the Large Hadron Collider, responsible for a number of discoveries, and hopes to discover the elusive Higgs boson, theorized to be the energy particle which gives matter its mass.

**Fermilab:** a particle physics research facility located outside of Chicago, responsible for a number of discoveries, and features the third largest particle accelerator in the world. In our world, the large accelerator, the Tevatron, was shut down due to lack of Congressional funding last September.

**Fleishmann and Pons:** discoverers, so they say, of an obscure theory stating that low energy fusion could possibly take place in certain situations at room temperature and other real world conditions, not just in high energy reactors or nuclear weapons. Scientists are divided on what they achieved, but there are indications that what they discovered was one of the conditions in which "cold fusion" can happen, and scientists are still exploring this field.

**Jacob Barnett:** believe it or not, he actually exists. He is 13 years old by now (September 2012), and slated to be a research physicist at any time by fellow professors who are stunned at how much science he has chewed through already! I made a B grade in high school math II, and he taught himself high level calculus! Yikes. Check out some Youtube vids of the kid. He sounds a little spastic on occasion, but it's because of his Aspergers syndrome, from which he's often thinking a minute ahead of himself.

**Lloyds of London:** an insurance conglomerate responsible for underwriting some of the globe's most significant endeavors, such as with superhero groups. Well, in my version of the DC Universe, anyhow...

**Martin Luther:** the "founding father" of the Protestant Church, famous for nailing his declarations on the door of his Church one day, that Biblical truth should be open to all – at this time, Bibles were translated only into Latin, that Popes were no more authoritative than any other Church figure, and that salvation was a gift bestowed by belief in Christ, not earned by good deeds. This earned him an excommunication from the Church, and declaration of an outlaw by the Emperor. Because of this, he is held in low esteem by Catholics, so Angela is giving one more indication of her rebellion against dogmatic elitist authority.

**Mento:** in case you were unaware, Mento was the domineering, relentlessly mission-driven leader of the Doom Patrol. His real name, Steve Dayton, and married to team mate Elastic Girl, Rita, they adopted and raised Beast Boy. Mento proved too demanding and rarely showed any open feelings to the lad, and in his mid-teens, drove Beast Boy to seek his destiny elsewhere.

**Rebyenok:** Russian for baby – I hope. I converted this phonetically from the Cyrillic.

**S.T.A.R. Labs**(Scientific and Technological Advanced Research)**:** a network of cutting edge laboratories in the DC Universe scattered mostly across the U.S., and which specialize in various disciplines from aerospace to weapons development.

**Vulnavia:** one thing I neglected to mention about the strange goth club co-owner is that she takes her name from a character in an old, campy horror movie, Dr. Phibes, starring Vincent Price. The demented corpse-like Phibes employs a lovely assistant named Vulnavia who assists him in his devious plans.

**Zardoz:** the seemingly harmless, charming owner of the goth club The Hyde Out, who takes his name from an old, obscure science fantasy movie of that title, starring Sean Connery.

**Angela's grudge against Catholicism and science:** just to repeat, let me point out that while I hold no grudge against either, I personally have some gripes with both of them, perhaps more so the scientific community than Catholicism. The digs Angela takes at them are all quite true. And while I am a big pusher of science and scientific inquiry, I am at odds with the "scientific ruling class" which I do see as just as dogmatic and Inquisition-like as the Catholic Church in the late Middle Ages. There should be no "political correctness" in the search for truth.

My main beef with Catholicism is that too many Catholics see their Church as the only true Christian body. Other than that, I'm okay with them, the "infallibility" issue and their "Mary-ometry." ;D And...

**Beast Boy being hung outside the Tower all night:** one would think that a shapeshifter might think of changing into something small which could get out of his punishment easily. Except Beast Boy knows Raven, and _knew better_, if you dig. And...

**Serendipity:** A good movie, I highly recommend it. John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale are outstanding in it, and is very romantically satisfying.

Also:

The Crow: a 1994 American action film directed by Alex Proyas, written by david J Schow and John Shirley, and starring Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee. It was produced by Dimension Films and distributed by Miramax Films. It was based on the 1989 comic book of the same name by James O'Barr. This was Brandon Lee's final film, and I have to admit that thanks to Brandon's death, it made me cry.

Lyric excerpts from "The Crow"by The Cure from _The Crow Soundtrack_, copyright 1994 The Cure and Atlantic Records

Excerpts from "Super Freak" by Rick James from the album _Street Songs_, copyright 1981 Rick James and Gordy Music, 2001 Rick James and Universal Motown

"Super Freak" ad lib edit by Stephen Strange

Lyrics courtesy of A-Z Lyrics dot com and Stephen Strange

One more thing I neglected to mention is that the fight between Robin and Starfire was mostly choreographed by my brother John. I can't believe I forgot to mention this for a MONTH! Sorry, bro...

And I finally got around to changing the avatar to suit the new chapter, an edit I made of a piece done by "ashycat" from deviantArt, in the #Terra-FC group gallery "Pairings." Thank you ashycat.


End file.
